What is the best racist joke you have ever heard?

Is anything better than-

How do black women know when they are pregnant?

When they pull their tampon out the cotton is already picked off it.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=k_RKqQXwcWQ
youtube.com/watch?v=AjyyoAeHPzU
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? 8 months

Why do black people hate asprin?

Because it's white, it works, and they're too proud to pick the cotton off the top.


I have racist bullshit, but I do love a good racist joke, and I always loved that joke.

how do you kill six flies at once?
kick a somali child in the face.

What's the difference between a park bench and a nigger?

Park bench can support a family.

Why do Jewish men get circumcised?
Jewish women can't resist anything 20% off.

A nigger, a kike and a white man touch a genie's lamp at the same time, and the genie comes out and he says "I will grant each of you one wish. What is your bidding."
The black guy goes first "I wish slavery never happened. Return me and all my negro brothers and sisters to Africa where we can live forever free of white man's tyranny."
"Your wish is granted" the genie says, and the nigger disappears.
The Jew speaks next "I wish the Jewish diaspora never happened. Return me and my people to the promised land of Israel where we can live in peace as was promised to us by God."
"Your wish is granted." says the genies, and the Jew vanishes. "What about you?" he says, turning to the white guy.
"So all the niggers and kikes are gone?" he asks, and the genie nods. "Uh... well I guess I'll have a Coke then."

Snow-tires don't sing when you put chains on them.

>8 months
is this how long azns are pregant?

How do you save nigger from drowning? Lift your boot from his head.

How man jews can you fit in a car?

Two in the front, Three in the back and Six Million in the ashtray.

Why are black people so tall?

Because their knee grows.

Two Afghani families decide to leave their home country and immigrate to the US. The two men of the household are both educated and will be able to find career work in the US, so they decide to leave Kabul amidst all the violence and start new lives.

The two men of the house decide to make a bet with each other for $100. They decided they'll meet up again in one year after living in the US, and whomever is the most Americanized wins.

One year goes by and the two fathers meet at a diner. The first one is waiting in a booth while the second one pulls up in his 6-wheel pick-up and struts in wearing a trucker cap, work boots, and plaid. He sits down and spits his chew into an empty coffee cup and says "I just drove here from dropping off my son at little league practice, after eating McDonalds for breakfast. I only drink bud heavy, I vote republican, and I've got a large caliber handgun in my glove compartment and I carry a smaller one on me sometimes to church potlucks and family events."

The other guy just yells "FUCK YOU TOWEL HEAD!"

A concentration camp guard asks a jewish boy, what he wants to be in the future. The boy answers- doctor or a lawyer, says the boy. Look at that little fuck says the guard, I was asking if you want to be soap or shampoo.

>drinking the soda Jew

fucking race traitor

Superior Asian efficiency.

How jews leave the place ? Like smoke.

What do you call two niggers fucking?

Two fucking niggers!

Not exactly racist but who took in the most amount of refugees?

The Mediterranean see.

What does an Abo call spew in the gutter
>breakfast in bed

An africaner catches his son killing of little niggers out of boredom and starts beating him up.The mothers tries to stop him and ask him what is the big deal. The father answers, this is how it starts, today a nigger, tomorrow a nigger and before you know it he will start to smoke !

Slavs are white

How many niggers does it take to start a riot?

-1

When a neggress throws up the trash ?

After 9 months.

Shut the fuck up, Philippines.

IMP!! Don't trust it Picard.

I told the Aboriginal variant of this to a girl who I didn't know was Aboriginal. Our friendship was never the same.

Why can't Mexicans play Uno?

They always steal the green cards.

What's black, white and red all over?

>the 5 year old black girl I raped and murdered

If we donated more money for better mosquito nets in Africa then we could save millions .... of mosquitos from needlessly dying of AIDS

Why does Beyoncé sing to the left, to the left?

Because black people have no rights.

Barack Obama

we want reparations, is pretty funny.

Get her a 20 buck caltex gift card.

sea*

But anyway, that was a pretty good joke.

What's the best way to keep your toilet clean?

Give it to a Hindu

Aboriginal walks into a pub with a seagull sitting on his shoulder. "Where'd ya find that?" asks the bartender.

"The dump," replies the seagull.

2deep5u

What's the difference between Bigfoot and a hard working black man?
Bigfoot has been spotted.

I'm offended

...

"Mississippi wind chime" is a nice phrase

i've heard the same joke with other variations of minorities

youtube.com/watch?v=k_RKqQXwcWQ

the legend

What do you say if you come downstairs in the middle of the night and see your television floating in midair?

Put it back tyrone!

>What do you call 1000 niggers buried up to their necks in sand?
Afroturf

>What do you call 1000 moon crickets buried up to their necks in sand underwater?

A good start

>What do you call 1000 satchmo's skydiving out of airplanes?

Night

My favorite Jew joke there, Vlad.

>black kid to white kid: muh daddy jus' gots a new Caddy and it's horn goes: honKEY, honKEY

>white kid to black kid: Well, my father just got a new chainsaw, and it goes: RUNnigganigganigga RUNnigganigganigga

Old I know but still gets me.

Today I saw two niggers walking down the street with a TV.
I then saw that it was mine.
So I put his leash back on him.

...

>What is the best racist joke you have ever heard?

The Democratic Party

>Drops Mic
/endthread

>what does a nigger and an apple have in common?

>they both look good hanging from a tree

What does a Texan fear more than a Mexican with a knife, a nigger with a gun. What does a Texas fear more than a nigger with a gun, a Californian with a suitcase.

>Why do niggers stink?


So blind people can hate them too

>How does an Arab get his wife pregnant?

She gets naked and lies down on the bed. He jerks off on the wall, and they let the flies do the rest.

top kek

Kek

What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of dog shit?


After a while the dog shit will turn white and stop stinking.

Show her this:
youtube.com/watch?v=AjyyoAeHPzU

No. 2 in the front, 2 in the back and none in the ashtray because the holocaust never happened.

>Black guy finds a magic lamp and rubs it. Out comes a genie. He will grant him 3 wishes.
>Black guy wishes for riches. Genie gives him a mountain of gold.
>Black guy wishes to be white. Genie turns him into white guy.
>Former black guy wishes he'd never have to work for another day in his life. Genie turns him black again.
Thank you.

What do you call a black abortion clinic??

Crime Stoppers

Why don't black people dream?

Because the last one that did got shot

What separates man from the beasts?

The Mediterranean sea.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
The pizza doesn't cry when you shove it in the oven. Oh, and you take it out before it has turned into ashes.

How do you starve a nigger? Hide the food stamps under his work boots

What do you say to a nigger in a suit? Will the defendant please rise.

What's long black and stinks? Welfare line.

What long and hard on a nigger? 2nd grade

That is an old one. That like the monback tribe and Hodeida tribe old.

What's the worst part about being a black Jew?

Gotta stand at the back of the oven.

What do Italian women and Italian cars have in common?

They're both nice to look at, but you can't fix them without going broke!

What's the hardest three years of a nigger's life?

1st grade.

Good lord my sides

>Why can Native Guys fuck all night but White Guys can't?
White guy works in the morning
>what's the difference between a couch and a Native?
A couch can support a family
>what's the difference between a pizza and a native ?
A pizza can feed a family.
>what does BFI stand for?
Breakfast for Indians (BFI is a company in charge of the cities dumpsters)

I used to have so many more I wish I could remember

What to do when you see a profusely bleeding nigger crying in your backyard? Stop laughing and shoot again.

How can you differentiate a jew to a white man?
Throw a dime on the floor

not cool man, not cool man

Q: How many minorities does it take to water a lawn?

A: 15. ***Spic-spic-spic-spic-spic-spic-spic-CHINK-nigger-nigger-nigger-nigger-nigger-nigger-nigger*** (say aloud to sound like an automatic water sprinkler)

this thread reeks of reddit

What's the difference between a nigger and a bag full of shit?

The bag

Why do police dogs lick their assholes?
>to get the taste of nigger out of their mouth

Have you seen a black person at night?
Me neither.

>inb4 le no fun allowed memes

What do you call a black kid on a bike?


>thief

What do you call a black priest?
Holy shit.

I once was driving home from work, and saw a negro carrying around a massive television.
I was absolutely mortified, deeply concerned that it was mine.
Thankfully, I remembered I left mine chained in the basement.

What do you call a lot of boongs falling off a cliff?

An abolanche.

Why are there no Mexicans in star trek?

Because they dont work in the future, either!

Hilarious and original

What do you call a nigger having sex?
Rape.

How do you keep a nigger out of your backyard?
Hang'em in the front.

What is a nigger?
Proof that a monkey fucked a skunk.

What's the difference between Martin Luther King day and Saint Patrick's day? On Saint Patrick's day, everyone wants to be Irish.

What's the difference between jews and pizzagate?

>None

>how do you make apple crumble?
release a picture of steve jobs fingering a child

my new neighbour asked me to keep an eye on her kids for her,.... well she didn't ask...but they're black so I thought id better.

female driving instructors... the equivalent of a blind person teaching kids to read

>how does every black joke start?
by looking over your shoulder

Ive always stood up for black people
its not worth getting stabbed over a seat

''whoever did the rhyme did the crime''
which is why most rappers are black

I was in a cafe the other day and I said to the barista ''ill have a coffee please, black, with no sugar''
stupid nigger didnt give me any milk

>''sorry im sweating like a nigger on a rape charge''
thats not a problem, would you like me to ask the question again?
>''yes please''
to the charges regarding racism in the workplace, do you plead guilty or not guilty?

in an equal opportunities seminar at work today I was asked where I stood on racism.
apparently ''with the whites'' is not an appropriate response.

sunburn, another small price to pay for being white

I knocked on my neighbours door today
>your son has just run infront of my car, I nearly killed him!
''im so sorry'' she gasped. ''he wont be doing it again.''
>I know he wont'' i replied, '' the paramedic said he was probably paralyzed for life''

''aids death hits 25 million!''
And STILL the jews bang on about the 6 million who died in the holocaust, as if they invented tragedy.

What's the main difference between John Podesta and I?
I don't cum on my pizza before I eat it

I doubt that. You are top banter after all

We have a similat one here by us. First the black man wishes for a big house and a car. Then he wishes for a big pile of money. He gets both. On the third wish...he wishes to become white. Poof...he is white...but the House car and money dissapears. What happend to my stuff? he asks. The genie replies...You are white now...work for it.

How do you keep black children from jumping on the bed?

>put velcro on the ceiling.

...

>name one thing you will always find in a white household that you never will in a black one.

A dad.

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

What's the worlds most dangerous race?

>none

**Arabs**