NUCLEAR WAR IMMINENT!!!!

I just got news from my uncle in the air force that North Korea is going to attack the United States in less than 6 hours time!

PREPARE FOR HAPPENING!!!!!

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Yeah guys, my dad works for Atlus I can confirm OP is right.

Guys, my dad works for MI6 and he told me that there is a 99% chance that we are putting boots down in Syria.

can confirm. my pappys a emu farmr... knee is playing up. is on. stay safe out there.

Kill yourself you faggot fucking attention seeking cunt

>>sage

I just got news from my uncle in the North Korean Air Force, OP is wrong.


It will be closer to 8 hours.

My great uncle who works for NaughtyDog actually said it'll be in like 12 hours.

Would have been more clever of you had LARP'd as your samurai ancestors.

Guys my wife's son's father works in a Nigerian lego factory and says we are all about to step on these fuckers.

Habidding!

My mum goes to college

How can non-Aus shitposters even compete?

My uncle works at Nintendo and he can confirm this

SON I TOLD YOU TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT ABOUT THIS YOU SHITHEAD

kek pls confirm this

POSTING IN LEGENDARY THREAD

My dad works for Xbox and he said Kim's COD pre order just got cancelled so expect an imminent attack.

I'm gonna tell my kids stories about "The Gook who cried Nuke"

Yeah? Well my dad works for NASA and he said that the war will be so bad it'll jump straight to WW4

...

Can confirm, was just watching south korean TV and this happened live, scary stuff.

Digits confirm massive NK happening underway

Stay safe brothers, kek is going to unleash all his anger very soon

>Guys, my dad works for MI6 and he told me that there is a 99% chance that we are putting boots down in Syria.

mfw the photos of tea and tunnocks overlooking the desert in the syria general is a wee wink from /ourlads.

praise kek, prepare....

No no. NYC was nuked yesterday. Didn't you turn on CNN? It's orge

GUYS MY MOM WORKS AT DOLLAR GENERAL AND SHE SAID SOME HOBO SAID THE WORLD WAS ENDING SO THE WORLD IS ENDING WNDIGNFMSKAKDKXKAK

Put me in the screencap my dudes

[read in poo accent]

I just called my uncle in India and he said he is sorry for raping me.

no they wont:
1. They are not that stupid
2. (most importantly) the US military intelligence is not that good to be able to predict an enemy strike 6 hours in advance.
Just look at how bamoozled they were by Russias move to Crimea and there is probably a lot more milint on russia than on NK

Nothing of happening. Everything will be fire.

Fuck you and your faggot uncle yellow toothed tea sucker

Drink bleach

My teeth are pure white. Not all of us bongs have shit teeth.

Me mum works as a meth head prozzy and confirms what OP says.
$5 a wristy.

I just got news from my uncle in the North Korean Air Force, OP and Nippon are wrong.

In 30 minutes Donald Trump will pull-off Rising Sun and once and for all defeat Kim dynasty.

whats the point of role playing on an anonymous message board?

Just got off the phone with Kim, he's actually sending bombs, and some repeating digitos

my mum cleans the director of Mossad's office, and she confirms

OP's dad here.

My son is a massive faggot. That is all.

Shut up faggot if it was ever gonna happen it would've happened yesterday

Read is over
Read is over

Can confirm, my dad works for Nintendo

Korea has nothing to gain by inviting execution squads at their doorsteps.
Govt live too good of a life there to commit suicide this retarded way.

Although if anything Korea can actually allow themselves to drop nukes.
Kim drop nukes on US and what US gonna do?
Nuke him back? Nothing to gain, nuking civs is only to force govt to do something, like surrender and no one gives a shit about civs in Korea, it will just serve as propaganda Le ebil moorica.

Not to mention dropping nukes on Korea killing civs, I imagine it will make more to damage your own reputation.
The only solution is dropping a sun, a stick and 300 lions on the pyongyang so the US kill squad take out Korean commando with CQC.

But apart from that, I dont see anything best korea would gain but starting shit so stop heappeningmongering.

idk, ask FBI user
I think it's mostly controlled and directed manipulation.

just got word from gator team 8 down in the 'glades. can confirm what OP says

My dad works for nintendo, and he is telling me that Nintendo will not be putting Dark Souls onto the Switch. My uncle is Eric Trump, and is planning on nuking japan in 4 hours.

Trump is my dad. He confirmed Nuclear War. Hold onto your shit.

Dad is NK sleeper agent, can confirm an attack is imminent.

will they nuke detroit first?

checked

Fug, live norab sat-feed coming through now :DD

so this is what happens when one loses his mind.

world war 3, blue balling for 70 years strong and still going.

MY MOM SAID WE ALL should get some sleep.

lol its bait

My dad is the US President and told me OP is a faggot

>Rolling down the side walk on my rascal to the social security office to get my disability check
>Take a long sip from my Starbucks latte. The dumb bitch at the counter put 20 sugars and 10 creams, but I asked for 40 and 20, fucking niggers.
>The morning sun already causing my back to sweat hard, beads of yellowish fluid stream down my back, soaking my Hulk Hogan T-shirt before pooling into a lake around my asscrack
>Finally make it to the door, I squeeze in with a little aid from the door man, tip him and move on
>Waiting in line for my check, I see a man in full military garb walk by, chest adorned with colorful ribbons and medals
>He looks nervous, packing around outside and office before he gets a phone call
>He turns away from the people in the room to quietly take it call, but I use my hearing assisting device that I got of the TV to listen in
>"General Brown, it's official, we go to War"
>There's no doubt, it's Trump's voice
>I manage to get on my swollen, gout ridden feet before throwing up a salute
>"S-sir!" I stutter, peppering the young latino mother of 30 with mucous ridden spit from my beverage
>He swivels around totally bewildered
>"Is that true? Do we go to war"
>He smirks at me, clearly noting the patriotic paint job on my rascal, a picture of an eagle having sex with a burger
>"That's right son" Are you ready to fight for Uncle Sam

And that's how I joined the Army
It's all true, we go to war bois

just watch twitter.com/intelcrab?lang=en
If it's really happening, you will read it there long before the larp faggots start spamming this abhorrend board with their verbal diarrhea.

Sure. Sure they will.

OH MY GOD ITS SO BRIG-

My wife's son works for sony, can confirm

Confirmed.

F.

As soon Marine is elected we are in a world war with Germany-Belgium and the EU.

GUYS MY WIFE JUST FINSIDED WITH THE BULL AND TOLD ME IM GETTING DRAFTED OMG

(OP)
digits confirm. OP is a _massive_ faggot

My aunt works in ABW and she told me that Poland will nuke North Korea before USA

Ps. This is 100% true, i can confirm it

just got the news from my uncle in the Swiss Guard can confirm

Can confirm, my friend who works with a guy whose cousin is girlfriend with Ivana Trump maid said its true

WHOA HOLY SHIT

The ground is shaking near Boston and I just saw an entire platoon of Navy Seals march down the street. It's finally happeni-

A homeless schizophrenic guy told that he was Jesus. He said that the end times are upon us and that we are all going to hell. I believed him because I was high on Meth and let him suck my dick.

Guess OP must be right.

My dad lives in a trailer park and told me the North Korean restaurant down the road gave him the shits.

Emus have been mobilized. Repeat, emus have been mobilized.

THIS IS A CODE: CRIKEY

All blokes report to your local pubs for further details.

i need to buy a new printer should I wait a full day or just 12 hrs to be sure?

Uncharted 5 better be one where Nathan goes to ISIS and throws them off rooves

If there was a chance of it going off, I would know.

Not this time faggots. Sorry.

Make sure to wear the correct footware, i dont want to see you young men get hurt alrighty

My dad is a Nigerian Prince, confirmed... if you send me money I'll tell you when after I settle legal fees

I just got a message from my mom's brother's uncle's son's nephew.


He's about to jerk off too old man young woman BBW porn!!!!!

Can I get a quick rundown on Peter Palpin?

>t.nigger

Witnessed brother

Aircraft carriers just flew over my house towards the Pacific. Is it... dare I say it... really happening this time?

My cousin is joe rogens best camera man

I guess that's all.

The top secret aircraft aircraft-carriers have cloaking so this confirms not happening

Can confirm my half-aunties' alsatians' psychic said that NK will launch a nuke at the US today.

Your uncle is an idiot. Didn't you know?

my dad works at nintendo and hell blow ur ass up from his office with his drones if theres no nukes flying by the end of the night

and we all die

word we want nuclear holocaust

I can use Microsoft Word too, man.

How is jew town going?

A more valid question would be: "What's the point?".

Just got news from the TV, everything is fine nothing to see here

come again?

Guy, my grandpa works for Nintendo. New Diddy Kong Racing game in 6 months.

Every day for the past week people have been saying something is going to happen in a few hours

This. My uncle who works for Sony is much more intelligent and knows what he's talking about.

This I believe, but unfortunately you will be allied with cannibals and headchopper takafiri lunatics, and will be fighting to establish a safe space for a terrorist army.

Don't forget, ISIS is a creation of the Muslim Brotherhood, and the Muslim Brotherhood is a creation of British intelligence (MI6).

newyorker.com/magazine/2007/03/05/the-redirection

Does it all make sense now?

Go larp someplace else.

FBI user was legit, a ton of the stuff he said was later proven to be true.

My dad will kick your dad's ass

if I see this brit post happening thread one more time I swear to god

My dad also works for Nintendo

serious here guys

my brother works for the local pupper shelter and said 5 colonels walked in and asked for 17 bloodhounds. When asked why they said they needed nuclear sniffers and not to ask questions