Don't go to Australia

I just came back from my 2 week trip there. Long story short, It's dangerous.
I was quite literally Attacked by pic related for absolutely no reason. I wasn't even near its nest or anything and it kept chasing me for at least 500 meters. That nigga dived from above and styled on me pretty badly.

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I was expecting you to get attacked by an abo. It seems I was wrong.

You got assaulted by a bird, and you are too much of a pussy to fight back

just punch it back you weakling. fuck you krauts are losers

fuck you cunt

>don't go to australia

I agree.

Fuck off, we're full.

lies, maggies only attack in spring.

>being outdone by magpies

why are you Europeans such soft cunts?

But fighting is weak to flying!

I feed our local magpies and they never attack me. They wont swoop the hand that feeds them.

>be 17, riding bike along busy road
>magpie starts swooping at me kamikaze style
>thing is smashing into my helmet hard
>veering onto road with busy traffic, trying to outpace the cunt
>it just keeps swooping
>passing motorists are slowing down and honking/laughing

Reee get out of my country magpies

Awe but maggies are cute. I feed the local ones and they never attack me. They escort their babies across the road to get some feed from me.

Maybe they just sensed your faggotry and dealt out justice?

>being outdone by emus

Why are Australians such soft cunts?

Same here, neat birds. I had one come straight and level for my face once. I had a gun and just stood my ground and aimed, it pulled up about a foot from the end of the barrel. Almost blew it to bits.

See how friendly they are:
youtu.be/f28HpsEVWu8

They only attack cunts who deserve it.

mate i have 3 maggies that i feed daily, they're top cunts that only swoop niggers so fuck off

youtube.com/watch?v=_A7Gw217EJ4

Quick someone meme a magpie on to this.

Well no shit, Hans. Just be thankful that was all you were attacked by

>mfw my friend tore the plastic off his helmet
>magpie swoops and the beak gets stuck in it
>stop my bike and turn around to him screaming with a magpie stuck to his helmet spazzing the fuck out

Australia is not real. It's a hoax, made for us to believe that Britain moved over their criminals to someplace. In reality, all these criminals were loaded off the ships into the waters, drowning before they could see land ever again. It's a coverup for one of the greatest mass murders in history, made by one of the most prominent empires.

Australia does not exist. All things you call "proof" are actually well fabricated lies and documents made by the leading governments of the world. Your Australian friends? They're all actors and computer generated personas, part of the plot to trick the world.

If you think you've ever been to Australia, you're terribly wrong. The plane pilots are all in on this, and have in all actuality only flown you to islands close nearby - or in some cases, parts of South America, where they have cleared space and hired actors to act out as real Australians.

Australia is one of the biggest hoaxes ever created, and you have all been tricked.

Make sure to spread the world - Australia is not real. It's a codeword for the cold blooded murder of more than a hundred thousand people, and it is not okay. We will not, accept this.

It is spring

I was lying naked under some leaves once hiding with just my erect penis visible (foreskin back all the way) and I got attacked relentlessly by a whole family of kookaburras. Never had problems with magpies

Uuummm. No. I live here its not a lie. I've driven all over it so its not a bunch of islands. Take your tin foil hat off.

Fuck magpies, they're absolute cunts and will attack fucking anyone.
Next time one attacks you just kick the fucking thing

shut up dickhead it's a hoax

brown people go to Canada instead

Yeah how ridiculous.

Better be careful what you say... lest you get sent to "Australia" yourself...

WRONGO EUROFUCKUP

and magpies only attacked you cause you didn't even leave a city where any number of animals would attack you or even go to a park where swans and abos would attack you

Australia is Avian State territory m8.
Galah Ackbar!

Look, another actor

There's many of you in this thread

Listen fag, we'll never forget that massacre #Australiaisnotreal

Ah the humble ole Magpie, that birds got heart. OP you must be a child because thats the only people they "swoop", I've got the ones around work pretty tame because I through them leftover bits of my sausage roll.

What makes Magpies so fucking alpha? They're the only bird I know that wont move away if you go near it.

Dunno how these cunts don't all get eaten by cats/dogs, they never fucking move.

That sounds awesome though.

>Galah Ackbar!
top kek

They have instinct to protect their children, unlike Britbongs.

>Go to Australia, lose a fight to a bird that isn't an Emu.

in the northern hemisphere retard. its autumn going on winter here.

That is literally what would happen to all of you cunt. You think I'm joking but just wait.

>be australian
>walk outside
>get swooped by a maggie

magpies are alpha as fuck
even pick on foxes
youtu.be/USN8spjKFlU

Hans is just intimidated by magpies having more balls

that's at someone's house though, where they are getting food. they're smart enough to behave there.

underappreciated

>birds eating meat

WTF

Plovers are worse. Fuck magpies though, vicious cunts. Should all be destroyed if you ask me.

>australia defeated by emus
>germany defeated by a fucking magpie
Goyim, what is wrong with you?

they only attack shit cunts ie: (You)

they only swoop in spring which is their nesting season
this is the way just feed them occasinoally when they are around and you'll never get swooped ever
they are really nice and friendly birds desu

Magpies get freaked out by the unfamiliar. The magpies around my home never attack me.

They're also good at sensing weakness and vulnerability. Some Merkelite in Aus is all Christmases in one for a magpie.

this, my digger

thanks for the laf op

I like magpies. Good voices.
Plovers are literally the most horrible screechy aggro ugly things in existence.
youtube.com/watch?v=jk5y57EE3aI

It was a good place when I went. Bondi Beach in winter was a bad idea though.

>australia defeated by emus
>germany defeated by a fucking magpie
>Jews defeated by Germans

Where does that put you in the big picture?

Also better stop with that sense of humour mate or I'm gonna start liking you cunts.

Just bug it to death, or make the bird smoke some grass

LMAO fucking pussy

ive been attacked many times by magpies. fucking punch them when they swoop at you. ive knocked 2 out of the air and promptly stomped their skulls flat.

holy fkn shit... lost it at this

Seriously.. it's the size of a pigeon.. what has happened to Germany! Your ancestors would have rounded them all up and efficiently disposed of them in gaseous bird feeders.

>working repairing gutters on home
>fucking fat retarded wog bloke feeds all the local birds
>big maggie nest in a big tree
>back facing tree, head almost inside roof space
>WFFWFFWFFWFFWFF
>see fast moving shadow coming my way
>launch self off ladder a good 7ft
>grab preprepared rake
>fuckin smack the cunt so hard hes out cold straight away
>snap its neck, throw it over fence into park
>all the big black ravens flock and start eating its corpse
>the maggies partner is now watching its dead lover get eaten, it will surely perish along with the unhatched eggs

get fucked maggie and german dogs

That's a fucking protected species you cunt.

How would you like it if I came over to kiwi land and stomped the skulls of a couple of kiwis. (If I could find any in the horde of chinks over there)

anyone getting sleepy? sure is getting late

>Jews defeated by Germans
You mean Germany beat the Anglos in your alternate timeline?

Kek

it's me lol
>check my soundcloud bro

Oh, I almost forgot it was literally the communists who conquered Berlin.

I've never seen one of those before but my god that has to be one of the ugliest birds I've ever seen.

>getting attacked in autumn
kek

have a sook ya poof

Yeah, these guys are far worse imo

fucking this

gas the kiwis anzac war now

I was walking to the gym early one morning and there was a group of magpies picking worms out of someone's front lawn. Some of the magpies looked my way as I was approaching but none of them moved away. One walked out onto the footpath in front of me and stared at me, then walked back onto the lawn just as I reached it. It was so peculiar, I'd never seen a bird do anything like that before.

ahahaha kraut btfo by based bird

He should just stone it to death, OP is Ahmed after all, he should have learned the procedure by now

t. soulless shiskin

It probably got a wiff of your migrant lover.

Just be thankful it wasn't a somalian german rapugee.

fuck getting close to one of those fuckers. went camping once and watched a young kid get boxed the fuck out when he went to pet one. next day i saw him walking around the site with a bandage across half his face

>meancing to kill kiwis

don't cross the fucking line, they are innocent.

(((communists)))
I finally see the truth.

Beer is kosher yeah?
Do jews get a weekly mouthful of wine like Catholics? Never looked it up.
My parish didn't like my suggestion to replace the wine with a tinny or shot of rum.

Australia is inhabited by terrifying beasts known as "Chunks". A quarter Chink, 3/4 fat cunt. Don't believe me? Check out this one I just saw on Queensland Rail.

I've dubbed him Chow Sum Fat. And I believe he's a secret again working for best Korea.

wtf is wrong with that dog?

plovers nest on the ground so they go ape shit if you walk near it.

true blue born and bred just not a weak poof like you, nobody fuckin cares if you kill a maggie thats swooping you, people > vicious animals

>I used to wear wire frame spectacles.
>Ride mountain bike home from work.
>Got hit hard behind My right ear by Magpie.
>Notice everything is blurry.
>Cheeky cunt stole My glasses.

I had to wait for it to drop them while it was perched on a power line.

fucking cankles are the worst looking thing

those aren't even magpies, at least not the typical ones

kek magpies are such cunts

youtu.be/9wfIs1v-fjQ

Standard tactics. He was the intercept / decoy getting ready to goad you if you were going to pursue. Once he recognised you didn't care he went back to supporting his mates in opwormfeast.

Our SAS are some of the best because they learn from magpies.

>>Ride mountain bike home from work.
poofter

> put a bunch if criminals on a dangerous island
> Expect the strong not to survive to have their kids shit post

Australia is degenerate and should be IP blocked on pol

- Aus
- Brits
- anyone who ever made or bumped a trump general

Are the key groups who need to be to be removed from posting on pol

Did it fuck your girlfriend while you were running away. Coz if it did then it may have been a cuckoldburra.
They're cunts as well

Is Australia real? I ask because of and because the USA isn't real either.

You forgot your country, leafshit

Magpie are bros Ahmed, may his sons take revenge upon you.


Magpies are pretty cluey and fairly social and they remember, feed them a couple times especially when they are raising young and they will respect you for generations.

They call koalas drop bears there.

They'll drop from the trees and maul you.

where do you live and are you full there?

...

This. The LQ is second only to the JQ

You're full of shit they only attack people in spring

Perth and yes.

He's lucky he packed a few post dinner sangas for his long train trip. Cunts fading away to a shadow.

100% true