Last thread got deleted because it devolved into posting graphic pictures of dolphin pussy. Anyways, I just want to address some concerns some people have had with my theory that a human with brass knuckles can beat up a horse. This theory is based on the idea that people can beat Dark Souls bosses while taking no damage just by running and rolling, things that any moderately fit human is capable of. Add to that the fact that horses are far weaker than Dark Souls bosses and it's hard to imagine how a smart and patient gamer isn't a horse's worst nightmare.
>muh iframes! when you roll, you can't be hurt - real life isn't like that! You're not rolling UNDER the attacks - you're rolling out of the way. Even so, there was a guy who beat every boss in DS3 without dodging, rolling, or parrying, (you can find him on Youtube) and I assume the same is possible in DS1. So if you just go fully naked, you could sprint from every attack and wait for the perfect safe moments to get in a few hits here and there. You should still roll out of the way of charge attacks. Sure, the DS player is avoiding telegraphed and consistent attack patterns, while the horse is less predictable - but the horse still has its limits and can be exploited with a similar mindset.
>the horse has great tracking abilities! it's not just attacking a predetermined spot! The horse is limited by its vision and can't hurt you if it doesn't know where you are. While a DS boss doesn't even need to have you in its line of sight to know you're directly behind it (and attack accordingly), the horse needs to know you're behind it before it tries to kick. If you can surprise it, you can punch it from behind and then roll out of the way of the kick -- you'll have to be fast, but you could do it.Then just repeat the trick of hitting it in the face and hitting it from behind and rolling away. The horse won't be smart enough to recognize that you're repeating this trick in the fight.
(2/2) >the horse is dangerous from the front AND back! its rear kick is its deadliest attack! You know what else is dangerous from its front and back? Flexile Sentry from DS2. Guess what, players beat that all the time without taking damage. Just adopt the same strategy - you wait for one side to get tired, get in a few hits, and let it rotate. Rinse and repeat. Flexile is one of the easiest bosses in the game, so this isn't an argument-killer.
>horses are way faster than humans! I don't have to be faster than it in terms of max speed - I only have to be able to outrun its reactions within a close range, which is quite possible if you use diversions like throwing dirt in its face or yelling at it really loudly (spooks the horse)
Plus, horses don't have ranged attacks or AoE. It's like fighting the Asylum Demon or something, except this time you don't get to do a plunging attack.
Asher Nelson
are you fucking stupid???
Colton Watson
>Last thread got deleted because it devolved into posting graphic pictures of dolphin pussy.
This is why I love Sup Forums.
Matthew Perry
But can we beat a small black bear with our fist ?
Kayden Rodriguez
The rolling will tire you out before the punches will do anything remotely resembling incapacitation to the horse. If you were to actually threaten the horse in any significant way, it would run away from you because it's a horse.
Ayden Flores
Sure fight a horse, why not fight something that'll be a challenge like a souls boss >like a shark
Mason Watson
good thread
keep me posted
Evan Wright
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Matthew Thomas
what if it was a cage match
Jackson Campbell
Brb gotta fight a horse
Blake Cox
You can cheese a shark by baiting it out of the water
Kayden Russell
Just throw rocks at it.
Wyatt Mitchell
Dark souls boss have slow telegraphed attacks, try and pick a fight with a horse you will lose.
Owen Garcia
thanks OP this made me laugh. good stuff.
Julian Young
Just like in Dark Souls, you just need to get out of its immediate range and bait a charge attack. Then roll out of the way and get in a cheap hit during you retreat.
Damn, true I guess I should've picked a harder fight >like wrestling macho man Randy savage I miss him so much
Cameron Rivera
An interesting proposition, would a horse continue to run away from you in a cage match with no exit? Would it circle the arena? How would this affect the strategy?
James Jones
Nice OC, OP. Now let's see if this can be a new pasta for shitposting in dark souls thread in the future.
Alexander White
You just put him in a car
Carson Bennett
>Horse Git fucking good scrub. I wreck lions 24/7 8 days a week.
Isaac Myers
>a smart and patient gamer is a horse's worse nightmare
why the fuck is this so funny - are horses like fucking terrorists to you or something, why do you want to beat up a horse so badly
Hudson Allen
>punching a horse with brass knuckles Say goodbye to your bones
Michael Ward
user! Bad! Rip in piss
Jaxson Long
A horse would win any format of wrestling match against any other team, as long as it was a tag team or group match.
Because horses are best in a stable.
Dylan Sullivan
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Chase Robinson
conan the barbarian is proof u can beat up a horse
Brody Hughes
tl;dr
Post dolphin pussies
Cameron Perez
oh wait that was a camel. Carry on.
Colton Diaz
Ask any arch-faggot if camels are weaker then horses and they will punch you with there little baby hands.
Chase Phillips
>that image
Hudson Powell
Horse has like 40000hp while one punch takes 40-60hp It would take a lot of time
Xavier Taylor
That's pretty accurate, are you an equinologist?
Michael Martinez
Why would a horse need brass knuckles?
Evan Robinson
>Last thread got deleted because it devolved into posting graphic pictures of dolphin pussy. Anyways, I just want to address some concerns some people have had with my theory that a human with brass knuckles can beat up a horse. Thanks OP, for making it a thing i read today
Ryder Cruz
Maybe OP was a bag of oats in a past life
Nicholas Bell
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Kayden Bell
is this the original image? and are there more variations? I need to see them all
Angel Wright
Using Brass Knuckles is cheating. Why not just shoot the horse if you're going to use weapons?
If you want to prove that you can defeat a horse you should do it unarmed and fully nude the way god intended
Colton Nelson
>not just staying out of its range of vision with the obscuring ring and one-shotting it with soul stream
