I can't stop masturbating

I can't stop masturbating.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=2YfGDS4D0Jk
twitter.com/Jammku/status/844783667943632897
twitter.com/Jammku/status/856051055842471936
imgur.com/a/xel5C
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

Is this one of those "u wont last a minute playing this game" ads?

conan becomes skyrim

youtube.com/watch?v=2YfGDS4D0Jk

Nope.
Those are all Todd/Bethesda threads.

To Eva Green and Hugh Jackman?

Cant hold that against you.

Isn't this game dead? I remember it used to be the top game on twitch for like first couple weeks now it's nothing

all the top twitch games are there because of sponsorships not quality

which is to say funcom bought a bunch of streamers, like everyone else does

Like the other guy said
The twitch crowd is incredibly easy to milk
>send codes to popular streamers
>pay them to stream the game for a couple days
>their viewers get hooked and spam the streamer to keep playing afterwards
>which spreads the game farther
>which gets more sales
>if it doesn't stick, hey at aleast it got a huge boost in sales for the first month
>if it does stick then enjoy the easiest millions of your life (see: Player Unkown's Battlegrounds)

>Rust is shit
>Make your game even worse than it

Can't believe Conan was attached to this shit. Then again when haven't they stuck it on shitty games?

Even if it doesn't stick you still make heaps.
Funcom was in serious financial trouble before Conan Exiles.
They were able to make all the money they needed on its first day of release.

RUST is a good game.
Conan is not my kind of game (no guns) but overall it has potential.

Are we ready to talk about the sexist depiction of men in video games yet?

The game was choppy and buggy as fuck on release so i got a refund (inb4 beta)

how is it now? these types of games are very interesting to me.

Are we talking about big uncut cocks yet?

>uncut
lel, creamcheese, 5000% of your daily intake

Yes goy, keep believing this. Don't question why we mutilated you.

New Conan movie with Arnold and his true son when?

cleaner, nicer looking and less chance of stds. god damn jews, you jerks : )

>mfw next he will complain the jews are trying to ruin the whiteman with seatbelts

Are there sexy female bandits or barbarians in this game? I like killing female Forsworns in Skyrim so I think this should be up my alleys.

Yes, you can even enslave them and there's a sex mod with better animations than Skyrim.

>climbs a rock face mountain briefly
Already better than Skyrim

Isn't this game LITERALLY a copycat of Ark, the worst fucking early access shit to ever release?
This game was doomed from the start, it looks like a cheap knockoff and nothing more. Convince me to buy it Sup Forums, is it actually fun and not a boring grindfest like Ark was?

Anyone got a good server to grief?

>gilmore grills
is that any good?

does this have pvp?
can I make a ganking squad consisting of only guys with extremely small dicks using huge weapons killing everyone we meet and calling ourselves The Compensators?

>believing any of that bullshit
good goy, well worth losing half the nerves on your penis

I dunno it's my gf's.

>never seen gilmore girls
Are you a real man?

i haven't seen a lot a things
liar

It's worth watching

Griefing is part of the game. It's the whole game. We exist to murder eachother, raid our bases, and hog resources.

If the game allows me to spam foundations all over the place with no penalty or system to remove them, that's part of the game.

If the game allows me to live inside a mountain and place archers inside said mountain making the only way to shoot back walled off? That's the games fault.

If the game doesn't have a way for a low level player to scale a wall or bypass something another player did without explosives, that's the game's fault.

You wouldn't get mad at a dog for eating a steak if you left it on the ground. You wouldn't get mad at an ex-professional gamer who plays the game for what it is to milk enjoyment out of the actual mechanics of the game just cause it's "un-neighborly."

I didn't convince some 5 view-streamer-normie-cuck into buying me the game so I could be friendly to those around me, participate in pre-meditated "duels" and build easily raidable aesthetic structures, no I came to blow people's shit up, nuke clan-baby's bases with gods, and generally be a dick to any and all girl gamers I come across. To stream snipe and shit all over normies, to plunder months worth of work in 1-2 hours of bomb farming, use superior game mechanics to outwit and outplay everyone else.

Milked the game for every exploit it's worth (and not tell the devs cause I think duping is worth more than $500. If a dupe method on Diablo 2 15 years ago was worth over 5 grand, why would I sell a dupe method for 10% its worth?) and extracted as much fun as I can within 300 hours for free. I might be more giving if the devs had actually given me a copy rather than having me e-whore to be someone's slave for a month (not even, the normie got butthurt over me being a 4channer and kicked me out, only to get solo raided shortly after.) but after asking every outlet, every channel, every personal email I could dox, I got nada from them. I was one of the main bug-glitch-etc finders on Age of Conan, and I got jack shit back then for it.

twitter.com/Jammku/status/844783667943632897 (Streamer getting base cucked for kicking me out for being a 4channer.)

twitter.com/Jammku/status/856051055842471936 (Same streamer, making him quit over exploiting into his base via door phasing.)

imgur.com/a/xel5C Murdered this entire easily raidable base. Admin re-does it over and over, while I stash all his shit in mountain-hidden chests. Can't b& me cause he doesn't know how to add my steamID to a txt file and I always log if he logs in.)

I have more but out of time.

Neck yourself. Literally.

Butthurt normie.

Conan is one of the few survival games out there that actually implemented latency limits to get rid of the fucking chinks and ruskies on NA servers.

If for nothing else than that, it gets my support. They're a fucking scourge.

Honestly cant wait for this. I hope it gets more popular as they release updates. I enjoy it more than rust.

Yes, actually.

I just want that fuckin' climbing update. It was supposed to be out last week, I really hope they didn't hold it back for their update to UE4 v1.15

>invented roflcopter

Yeah, no. You're just some poor fuck who talks a lot of shit, masturbates too much and talks up your achievements when you have nothing.

By the way, my name is Jam, and I hate every single one of you.

I did. WC3 era motherfucker.

Unless you got proof, you're just cold shit in a Dixie cup, buttercup.

Seriously, who cares about your OW mmr? It's irrelevant. You play games a lot of people play, oooh. The reason you lack the oomph of them is because you're a cunt, and it oozes from your words like pus from a wound.

google it.

All I get are sad posts on Reddit about crossfit and you talking up how you're hot shit. Now you're too good to have proof? You should be able to quickdraw that shit, Biggs. Put up or shut up, shit or get off the pot, fuck or give another 20 dollars to that whore at the gym.

>loser's bracket

Heh. Fitting.

this is pathetic

Don't engage. Just call him a fag and move on, man.

>love the hyborian age setting
>enjoy reading the conan short stories every once in a while
>haven't found a conan game yet that i've enjoyed

feels frustrating man

Isn't It?

He knows why I'm engaging. He has to have the last word, to be the biggest bitch in the sandbox.

He has to let everyone know his shitcutter's loose by his choice, that he got fucked raw and tossed out because he talked too much in bed for a desperate, lonely neet.

It's a point of pride. And all he gets out of it is a sore asshole and sadness.

Just once, I want to see a developer who actually cares about Conan get a hold of the license.


Doesn't even have to be the dopest team, just someone who actually gives a shit.

More like
>dry, sad, mutilated

How beta do you have to be to approve of someone chopping off a part of your dick???

See? He's fucked off for now.

Just playin vidya.

I'm abducing a naked man. 7/10 Is not perfect but is fun. I bought the game recently just because this thread lol

It's 100% a scam game, no joking, once the initial paid streamers quit no one cared about it.

Holy shit you bought a trophy at a pawn shop.

What the fuck is wrong with your face. You look like a deep sea fish got grafted o to your neck. Your mouth is so wide that if someone tried to fly a plane into a building you were in, they would easily fly into your filled.
Where the fuck is your chin?

Nice premature balding, better grow your hair out soon before it becomes a spot in 2-3 years.

is this you?

Motherfucker looks like he just got told he can get a 23rd chromosome if he buys the first 22 free.

How do I not have you filtered holy shit

Wow. Is this what every griefer looks like?

i'm waiting for them to finally implement some magic, before i play again

Nigger looks like a character from oblivion.

ow isn't a real game come play reflex ;)

this is fucking OW beta

>Redownload game because of this same thread yesterday
>Look up sex mods
>The only mod that adds vaginas to female models gives them roasties
>Download the sex animation mod
>Go into single player as admin
>Game doesn't let me make thralls no matter how hard I try
Worst game to masturbate too

Yeah which means I was hot shit to get into the Overwatch beta early as fuck.

Have you ever considered there's a reason vydia companies don't want you shilling their shit?

Blizzard are the worst for this with overwatch.

Wait till August and ask then, massive update.

By worst do you mean the esports? Because for sure Blizz doesn't pay any of them directly. Overwatch streamers are terrible for the game since more than half of them are "toxic". Hell they had to ban the guy who was rank 1 because he was streaming himself throwing games.

Bored.

It's like you're at the half way point of having down syndrome.

Barely anyone streamed the game for ages, they put a shit ton of money out to get it popular

The twitch numbers were pathetic for a long ass time, dunno how they are now but I'm assuming a lot better.

They brute forced that shit into popularity.

pro tip to all the newfags
use a filter to get rid off stupid tripfags
tripfags are cancer
thank you for your cooperation

Mods? Comparison to skyrim? I thought this was a survival MMO?

I'm pretty sure funcom gave their Conan game the ability to run their own servers instead of everyone connecting to a funcom server so people could set up their rape and pillage servers