Never done an honest day's work in your life for all that coin you're carrying. Eh, lass?

Never done an honest day's work in your life for all that coin you're carrying. Eh, lass?

Lass? Get fucked shitlord

"Welcome to Riften home of the theifs guild"
>GOTY

>thieves guild shoved in your face.
>majority of players couldn't get into dark brotherhood without looking it up online

I always avoided the thieves guild because I didn't want my soul to belong to a daedric lord. Wish you could wipe them out like the dark brotherhood, you'd think the jarl of riften would put a bounty on their heads.

>lass

If you play as a female in games you're a cuck.

Majority must be stupid then because the only lead you get for the DB is the aretino boy and you get this rumor at the innkeep in riverwood right at the start.

>actually caring what sex you play as
Cucked faggot.

Seriously? That is not even hard to figure out

cuck meme needs to die and it has to die one shitposter at a time /spoiler i'm comming for you /spoiler

He's right though, stealing shit from nordic tombs and selling enchanted iron daggers for profit isn't honest work.

>"No, you!"

Autism everyone.

So what you're saying is all those cabbages I picked in the fields for an honest pay isn't honest?
My skyrim simple farmer save is confused.

>starts walking towards you

selling daggers is tho

God, what a terrible way to start a quest, possibly the worst example in videogame history.
No way dude, characters regularly gossip about the Arentino? boy is trying to summon the DB, the moment the line is said it automatically is added to you quest log.
Also if you pass by the house it triggers the conversation with some woman and a boy talking about the same thing.
All you have to do is walk around Windhelm for one minute or talk to any guard or npc and bam, right in your face.

>raise speech skill high enough to tell him to fuck off and just tell me where Esburn is
>never have to deal with this faggot ever again
gg ez

>Did a run where I did nothing but hunt and craft potions to sell
Fuck off Brynjolf

Not playing a female in TES. You might be gay.

What do you even do all day besides wander around town faggot?

Why was the Thieves Guild so forced in Skyrim? Unless you know where Esbern is beforehand the game literally makes you do their dirty work for a quest, and it's the worst written questline in the game because of all the fucking awful plotholes.

People in riften tell you their hideout is in the sewers, you don't have to do anything except poke around a bit

Got the development got pushed last min. Skyrim is a very unfinished game.

>HEY WELCOME TO RIFTEN IT'S ME KAZUHIRA MILLER AND THIS IS THE HOME OF THE SUUUUUUPER SEKRIT THIEVES GUILD (Visitors welcome!)
How does Bethesda manage to fuck up writing so bad?

But raping women as a Nord is fun.

Playing as a female makes you a faggot but I praise your choice in actual face covering helmet at least.

They don't give a shit about anything aside from turning a profit, don't you remember how you could find jet in vaults during Fallout 4?

Go to bed Shamass.
Nobody cares about your discredited blog.

In Daggerfall there were Daedric shrines that would offer a quest if you showed up on the right day with the right offering.

There was nothing in game to indicate either.

They have moved away from that and their games are better for it.

No, you just get shoved into fucking everything in Skyrim.

Goody Two Shoes? Doesn't matter. We know you want to help someone actually named the "king of rape" torture some old dude's soul for all of eternity in matters you can barely comprehend. Or become a cannibal. Here's a quest to go find a kid that wants you to murder a cruel old lady. No, we don't have any good-guy outcomes for these quests. It's not as though a player might get some level of satisfaction out of emptying their quest log, or anything.

Bad dude? I can't even imagine how bad they have it.

Fuck off, I'm just here to romance Madesi

TES in general is aggressively neutral when it comes to morality.

>ywn go back and play skyrim for the first time again, filled with hope and hype
I actually really enjoyed playing this shit

Oblivion at least let you say "no thanks" and keep it off your quest log when offered a quest by an objectively evil demon lord.

don't worry user, every questline in Skyrim was shit

*exits dialogue, walks away*
*Brynwolf stands there for a moment is disbelief, walks awkwardly back to his potion stand*

Everything in Dragonborn was legit good.

The only redeeming thing about the Molag Bal quest in Skyrim is how you can tell that demonic fag that his mace sucks and he gets real butthurt about it.

Wearing a dress and being fucked by strong men is NOT gay!

Skyrim starts out decently, promising, the combat really does feel leagues better than Oblivion and I really dig the white-out blizzard settings of parts of the map, bleak falls barrow is a decently engaging starter dungeon and the dragon claw is a cute puzzle

but then you really get into it and you learn that destruction magic is literally objectively worthless in vanilla and that if you want to actually feel like you're getting stronger instead of progressively weaker you need to hammer out blacksmithing and enchanting ASAP. Or you can just be a stealth archer, but fuck that, let's be real. Also the dragon claw puzzle is EVERY puzzle. And all the dungeons are basically the same. And although the setting and art design are generally better than Oblivion, it feels like the creativity in the writing has sort of suffered.

I have no rose tinted glasses for Oblivion, I completed Oblivion recently and that game's mechanics are so fucking busted it makes me want to die. Some of the guild quests are neat but I think they're all held back by the awful RPG mechanics and the disgustingly uninspired setting of "lord of the rings is popular right now haha" among other things.

And yet as much as I found myself growing to hate Oblivion the more I played it, it seems like they failed to learn from what Oblivion did right- only what it did wrong.

DAE REMEMBER MORROWIND LMAO??????

compared to vanilla and dawnguard, yes it was en par with Oblivion's writing, yet the quest were still prolonged by stupid design decisions

*dabs*

>exit dialogue
>bulshit talk to x person quest forever stuck in log
come the fuck on man, this whole questline sucked.
>here is the super skeliton key that unlocks anything
>lol no, you dont get to keep this
>here have some basic bitch gear designed for ASSASSINS that's easily outclassed by anyone with a few perks in enchanting instead, also, we own your soul.
what the fuck

>Hey, you, get over here. I wanna talk to you.

Always hated this cunt, for him to call you over, a stranger new in town, JUST to tell you to keep away from the Black Briars business. What makes him think I give a single shred of a shit about the Black Briars.

forgot image

>not giving your soul to every possible daedric lord so that when you die they'll end up killing each other over it

>Stay away from Black Briars business
>What's that?
>It's super secret and interesting
>Really?
>Yeah, now forget all about it and stay away

>enters town
>hey, you
>~ 000371D6 DISABLE
oh, what was that? i thought i heard a faggot for a brief second? must be the wind.

LITERALLY NOT A WORTHY COMEBACK.
IT WAS GOOD AND YOU CAN ONLY PRETEND ITS BECAUSE OF NOSTALGIA.
How pathetic can you be, user?

Neve'r should of come here!

Even then none of them would get your soul because big daddy Akatosh swooces right in to take it

whats discredited about it you fucking gay queer?

Hey you.

Install sexlab.

Install "poet" the follower. She had a nude mod. Google it.

Install the "fox collection" armor set. You're welcome.

nether should of gone there!

>dawnguard
what the frick went wrong?

>50000000 year old super vampire
>is on screen for like 3 seconds and then you kill him

Skyrim and Fallout 4 have so many genuinely unlikable characters and it probably wasn't even intentional on Bethesda's part.

>joining the dawnguard

that sweet armor tho

>dawnguard and vampire quest lines are almost exactly the fucking same
Come on, Todd.

>gets recruited by vampire hunters
>go and check out that cave
>finds an ancient vampire (female)
>"hi i'm wafiu-bait, i also have an elder scrolls can you bring me back to my family?"
>bing her to the dawnguard
>"yeah just go along with her plan"
>...

So you're gay. I'd do it. Especially as I got vamp pussy.

>How pathetic can you be, user?

>not being totally random and doing everything simply for the lulz

nigga do you even cheese?

On a roll for shit responses.
Should I post an anime girl reaction image?
I think I will.

If this set came with a matching shield it would be perfect

>imagine being such a big beta, that you have to literally save the world so a millenia year old chick gives you her snatch

i envy you user

>vamp pussy torn apart by molag bal's huge daedric donger
no thanks jeff

you gay?

You wouldn't save the world and fuck a vampire? I'm so confused.

I wouldn't benefit from the world ending really (I'm not an edgelord) and I DO fuck, so I gain something. Also, Molag Bal canonly has a small penor.

Why is it every fag that has to show off his modded Skyrim uses the same giant tits, giant hips and tiny waist plebeian combo?

>You wouldn't save the world and fuck a vampire?

name me 1 benefit of fucking an vampire, over literally any other race

...

Virgins. At least loli mods have some quality to them.

THE MAN WITH THE PLAN

You've never been in a relationship I take it?
>doesn't age/forever young
>hickeys/bites feel great
>won't die to stupid ass breast cancer or other girl diseases
>willing drink alcohol
>can use magic or powers for your benefit
>huge sexual drive
>no periods/no pregnancy

Chilled pussy

>Hey I have this perfect poison that took years to get just right and I know I cannot beat Mercer one on one, and for some reason I only have one of it, I have only one shot! Better use it on this nobody, when I made this poison specifically to use on Mercer, because otherwise he is too powerful, oh well, let's shoot this nobody theif with my perfect arrow, insuring I can't kill Mercer!
Jesus, what terrible writing.

>Auriel is the Sun God
Did the writer just forget Magnus is a thing?

Killing Draugr and disarming them in case some fucking necromancer animates them again is a legitimate public service in Skyrim

>what the frick went wrong?
he wants a bow that would take out the sun killing all the plant life, killing all the animals, then killing all the humans, then killing all the vampires

he wife does say how retarded his plan is.

>That dude can't be killed by ordinary methods, so sell your soul to me for the powers needed to kill him that I won't give you until after you kill him with ordinary methods
I will never not be mad at how stupid this game is.

You must've been a retard then. You couldn't go into an inn in that game without two NPCs trying to flag you down.

>"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE DARK BROTHERHOOD IS BEING CALLED BY AVENTINO IN WINDHELM?"
>"OH YEAH, HE PERFORMED THE DARK SACRAMENT, SURE HOPE NO ONE LOOKS INTO THAT!"
>A quest has been added to your journal

You forgot the part where the quest is added to meet him later anyways.
Even if you exit out of the conversation before he gets a single word out, the quest is permanently in your log.

That part didn't make me giggle tho

>get recruited by Dawnguard
>go and check out that cave
>find an ancient vampire with an Elder Scroll
>be a flaming retard and kill her then and there
>make no discovery of where her nest is
>have no clue what the vampires are doing with a fucking Elder Scroll
>be totally unprepared for the Volkihar

You COULD just roleplay that your character isn't a blithering retard and was electing to information-gather since a four thousand year old Vampire and an Elder Scroll is a big deal.

>college of winterhold
>had to use max magicka potion for the spellcast test to even enter the college
>threehourslater.jpg
>you are now the arch-mage of the college

Mercer had plot armor from the skeleton key, but then it raises the question of why she even had the poison in the first place if it wasn't going to work. That means that she just happened to know that Mercer was going to go with someone else to this specific location, and that this person would be willing to go along with her plan and have the ability to do so, and that she would know all of this years in advance.

>Archmage has no actual magic responsibilities, teaches no classes and is basically a glorified principal to oversee disputes
>this confounds the brainlets who thinks he has to cast spells

You guys are plain wrong. He's right. Most people DID have trouble with it. 100%. Remember: casual players aren't Sup Forums. Casuals didn't play the more oldschool RPGS. They MAYBE play Oblivion, but probably did't. They truly didn't know how to access that questline. I've even seen threads on Sup Forums how many fucking years back about it. And lots on other sites. I can attest to the fuck that: many had issues.

MAYBE if you don't go to the city, you don't become aware of him trying to summon the Dark Brotherhood? But I'm not sure about that either. '
Honestly, most other questlines are far more grabby. Maybe Bethesda knew they didn't have to try as hard as most would join Dark Brotherhood.
Which was a disappointment, besides avenging the Emperor.
I don't think I ever replayed that questline despite doing most questlines twice. I think I killed them off.

>typing all the zeroes
>finding NPC's base id instead of just clicking on them
pleb

>join companions
>kill an animal in someones house
>you're in the circle now and now a werewolf
that shit happened so quick I thought it was a quest bug

You're lucky.
>level 8
>hey, go clean out this falmer nest wouldja?

There are several ways to get into the college without casting a single spell. You can literally become the arch-mage in Skyrim without your character casting a single spell ever

See: Congratulations on being awarded a token administrative role.

>"I'm going to make a prophecy that will lead to vampires destroying the sun because I want to get back at Auri-El!"

>"But the sun was created by Magnus..."

>"...fuck! Foiled again by Auri-El!

Vyrthur was an idiot even by Skyrim's low standards.

In the Knights of the Nine DLC, you couldn't use the holy sword or armor if you had any 'bad points' (forgot what they were called). And to get rid of the points, you had to do a pilgrimage. The points accumulated from the beginning of the game, but I don't think you could see them until you learned the teachings of the knights. Pretty cool, I thought. (But sucking the blood from your knightly brethern didnt accumulate the points, luckily)

>save entire world
>be leader of every guild except companions
>fought in the civil war
>go join companions
>WHO'S THIS MILKDRINKER
>they test your fighting capability
>as if all your achievements weren't proof enough
>as if they shouldn't be begging you to join them
>they think you're weak and worthless
>10 seconds after you join you become a VIP member

shit tier questline

>find out the companions are werewolves
>try to kill the monsters
>fucking take a knee invincible meme
>search for a quest way to wipe them out or join the glorious werewolf hunter guys
>nope

fuck this shit

also, when I joined the Imperial Legion the guy said that we had to kill Ulfric or something like that, so I decided to just go do that. So I walk into his town and right up to him, kill him and his entire feast hall full of generals...

they take a knee. Of course you can't kill him unless you do the stupid fucking dynasty warriors shit for an hour and bring a dragon! Fucking retarded.