Over-engineered Juicer edition

So another Juicero thread anyone?
Juicero
>$120M in investment
>makes a $400 (formerly $799) always online "juice" press, that requires a smartphone app
>it squeezes DRM protected propietary pouches of ground up fruit/vegetables to produce juice that are $7 each for 200gms (8 ounce), the pouches have QR codes and can be disabled remotely
>also pouches are sold based around subscriptions and once you use the pouch you have to rinse it out and mail it back
>turns out you can get the same results by squeezing the pouches with your hands

bloomberg.com/news/features/2017-04-19/silicon-valley-s-400-juicer-may-be-feeling-the-squeeze
youtu.be/5lutHF5HhVA

How to use it
youtu.be/-i0UugILBJg

Ad for it:
youtu.be/X1oHp-VvhDE

Examination of the machine:
blog.bolt.io/heres-why-juicero-s-press-is-so-expensive-6add74594e50

Other urls found in this thread:

blog.bolt.io/heres-why-juicero-s-press-is-so-expensive-6add74594e50
theverge.com/2017/4/20/15375940/juicero-full-refund-customers-ceo-jeff-dunn
youtube.com/watch?v=viejY6UZ5Bk
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

Its not even a juicer, its basically a kool-aid jammer squeezer

>juicer
>can't extract juice from fruits and vegetables
It's a fucking Keurig that only accepts puree and costs 3-4x as much.

Yes its scary that jews would ACTUALLY

but they would and they do so get over here

>there were retards who thought this was a good idea
>there were retards who funded it
Jesus Fucking Christ

Jews are well connect so getting funding is easy for them.

>a recurring shitpost thread with multiple editions for people to sperg out about random shit and joos

I thought g was bad but this is a first jesus

>You have to mail it back
You're joking

well of course they're sperging out about juice, it's a juicer

>mail back your pouches to our special recycling center

you dont hate the environment right ;^)

attention whores will always post the same "successful" threads that reach bump limit over and over

wouldn't be surprised we'll have a juice general from now on

>Over-engineered Juicer
It is no such thing. It's an under-engineered juicer, or an over-engineered way to pour juice out of a bag and into a cup.

I work for a company that has these things in every break room, for everyone to use, for free. People stand around for 5+ minutes waiting for the machine to squeeze one bag of juice into a cup. Also, it splatters. We make fun of the fact that it wont squeeze the bag without wifi. The infosec people hate it - they had to make security exceptions so the things would work at all. Basically everyone thinks its fucking stupid.

But for all that people still use the thing. Ive used it and I gotta say, knowing how ridiculously expensive it is somehow makes it more enjoyable. Theres something satisfying about using it, like eating sauteed white tiger eyeballs. The huge waste of money for such a mediocre cup of juice actually makes you feel like a king when you drink it.

So in short, the only real appeal it has is in being conspicuous consumption? "I'm great because I'm using a shit but expensive way to do something mundane!"

did you watch the bloomberg video in the first post?

Nope.

It's 1 minute long.
Watch it.

>“Investors are very intrigued by businesses that combine the one-time sale of hardware that ends up leading to repeat purchases of consumable packages,” said Frank, who doesn’t own Juicero shares.

No sane person would think this was a good product, they were just greedy jews that wanted shekels

>With packs priced between $7 and $10, the least you can expect to shell out (in addition to $699 for the press) is about $35 to $50 per week. That adds up to between $140 and $200 a month, or theoretically an eyebrow-raising $1,680 to $2,400 a year.

Meanwhile I'm still using this fucking thing. Damn thing is probably older than most of Sup Forums

>fucking ACME threads in a consumer device
What the actual fuck, just why?

>or an over-engineered way to pour juice out of a bag and into a cup.

The bags contain mushed up chunks of fruit. All the machine does it squeeze the bags. Why a connection to your smartphone is required is beyond my understanding however.

It's also a literal botnet.

Are you saying it feels nice to use the jewcero because it costs your company $8 every time you use it?

I too, like to time my bowel movements so I always shit on company time.
And I always use a whole roll of toilet paper.
If I don't use the whole thing, I'll until the whole thing until it ends up in the toilet.

you know the germans always make good stuff

juice is technologie

First, the Press. Our connected Press itself is critical to delivering a consistent, high quality and food safe product because it provides:
The first closed loop food safety system that allows us to remotely disable Produce Packs if there is, for example, a spinach recall. In these scenarios, we’re able to protect our consumers in real-time.
Consistent pressing of our Produce Packs calibrated by flavor to deliver the best combination of taste and nutrition every time.
Connected data so we can manage a very tight supply chain, because our product is live, raw produce, and has a limited lifespan of about 8 days.

>8 day shelf life
>cost $5-10 each

Can someone explain to me how anyone invested into this? It's immediately clear why this is a bad idea. Anyone can point it out. Surely the people who came up with the idea and who invested into it should have known that too. I don't get it.

You know what they say

My boss makes a dollar, I make a dime
That's why I shit on company time

Except my car, lel

Did no one at any point in development stop to think of this was a good idea?

Germans really understand juice

What advantage does this thing have over a smoothie you can buy at the store? Is it supposed to preserve nutrients better or something?

Why would you stop when you're being paid a shit ton of money?
The people working at the company don't give a shit if investors are going to lose money.

>Examination of the machine:
>blog.bolt.io/heres-why-juicero-s-press-is-so-expensive-6add74594e50
This is fucking trash. Good engineering is simple engineering that gets the job done

Basically, yes. Your analogy sucks though. Its not like using a whole roll of toilet paper to take a shit. Its like using a crisp $20 bill.

Investors are supposed to be smarter than this

>juicing
>ever

Why do you hate fiber?

Because I can already shit just fine

Well sure, if the company was paying for it, I'd like some juice.

Says who? Investors lose millions of dollars all the time.

No not conspicuous, since everyone has access to it for free also. Just the sheer excess and unnecessary nature of it is novel in its own way. Like feeding $100 caviar to your hamster.

Yeah but not on blatantly stupid shit like this

More like jewser

honestly I don't see this hurting them at all. It's aimed at rich California yuppies who make 200-300k a year doing some cushy tech shit who have no idea how to cook food or even make smoothies in a blender. The bad reviews don't mean shit to them because it's just poor people being jealous. Juicero realized that 99% of people who want to juice just want to show off, and so this is a fancy way to show off your healthy lifestyle if you're a rich yuppie in California.

Additionally, this is actually a pretty good product for restaurants. People have heard about it now and while they wouldn't buy the device, they'd definitely try a bag of the juice for $10. If a restaurant or grocery store like whole foods gets 40 people to buy a $10 glass of juice they've already paid off the machine. Just remember that no publicity is bad publicity, and Juicero is laughing all the way to the bank.

Because it's "fresh" and "organic"

ume can hit me

Consumers buy stupid shit all the time, it might be that the investors thought consumers were stupider than they actually were.

Hell, look at this guy
His company has these stupid things in every breakroom.

Never understood that at all. If people actually wanted "fresh and organic" just add strawberries, a banana, ice, and milk. blend. change fruits to whatever is cheapest and in season.

>enjoy your jews
>bitchs crosseyed

lol

Yuppies would just buy juice from stores

And stores would just use professional machines that are proven to last hundreds of thousands of cycles to minimize downtime and using fruit bought for literal cents to maximize profit

that sounds like more work than putting a bag in the Juicero and pressing a single button

>
>yuppies who make 200-300k a year doing some cushy tech shit who have no idea how to cook food or even make smoothies in a blender

That describes me and many people at my company but none of us would actually pay for this thing. Seriously, Juicero is not going to just coast through this fiasco.

Keurig for juice, making money of juice like they make money of printers and disposabpe razors

I would barely call this thing over-engineered, if anything under-engineered. At a $400 dollar price point, I would expect the damn thing not to look like a cheap-ass flat plastic aesthetic, nor have such flimsy looking build quality.

This thing looks like something from the "As Seen on TV" aisle in Walmart that breaks after 3 months of use.

Read that breakdown, a machine is not under-engineered when it has a plain looking chassis.

>selling at cost

It's pointlessly over engineered
All of the best machines are simple in design

As a yuppie who makes just under $200k doing cushy tech shit in a place with a slightly lower cost of living than the Bay Area, I'd have to say I have no idea why this is a product.

My hippy friends would just juice actual fruits.

I usually only drink water and milk at home, but I have a blender for the rare occasion that I drink something else.

Everyone else would just buy regular juice and/or use a blender.

That subtle Vince from shamwow reference... I am speechless user. My sidles chuckled off to the heavens.

>Jews hate it!

>Find out how to make juice (and lots else!) on the cheap with this mysterious device!

Well of course it is, it squeezes juice out of a bag.

how delicious is that, because it sounds pretty damn nice.

They probably could make it out of stainless steel for cheaper if they cut down on the pointless machined parts, but they obviously wanted to make it look like an Apple product and not a kitchen gadget.

I bet their focus group for this was Casey Neistat and no one else.

What kind of fuckery is this?

and more important:

WHAT KIND OF MORON WASTES MONEY ON THIS SHIT!??!?

FFS, this kind of faggotry makes me loose faith in humanity, people would rather buy a fucking juice squishing machine then just fucking buy the juice, make it them selves, or just fucking fuck it, its not even worth it.

This is really obviously a money laundering scheme. Doug Evans, the founder of the company stepped down immediately and was replaced by Jeff Dunn, a former Coca Cola and Campbell's Soup executive. Campbell's Soup also donated a shitload of money to the start up.

This is just a couple of kikes embezzling money the easy way. Why bother breaking the law to steal money when you can just get retard investors to slush some money your way and skim off the top with a nice CEO salary and bonus package?

you are whats wrong with this planet.

Does it come with a carbonator so you can gas the juice?

that explains a lot...

It's the same thing with modern art. A pile of shit on a canvas sells for millions of dollars not because anybody involved thinks its profound or artistic, but because something was exchanged behind closed doors and they needed an excuse to move a very large sum of money without being investigated. It's just a bonus that you can start museums to take money from retards who think they're deep and enlightened.

...

Why juice at all when you can just eat the fruits?

OP you forgot something
theverge.com/2017/4/20/15375940/juicero-full-refund-customers-ceo-jeff-dunn

...

LOL jealous? When I get to work today I'm gonna "make it rain" $10 juice pouches! Then I'll drink some!

juicing sucks tho.
requires huge amount of fruit and resulting in almost no juice.

youtube.com/watch?v=viejY6UZ5Bk

juices without the fiber are bad for your health
literally bad
stop this meme: they are creating diabetics

> The huge waste of money for such a mediocre cup of juice actually makes you feel like a king when you drink it.
I can bet mt tooth you use Apple tech.

I wanted to say the same thing but the Ad is spot on and clearly explains the problem currently.
Like you have to buy shit - that's simple.
Then you have to prepare it (okay-ish), then find the machine you have somewhere (they usually suck), then clean that (fuck no), and finally in the whole process you ought to make something drinkable.

That's just hard when you involve veggies and shit. (making it tasty)

- I am not a hipster.
- I would not ever buy this product.
- But indeed, if someone likes juices (and vegetables) this is not a bad idea.
- It's fucking expensive because the machine is over-engineered and because of muh environment/farmers and wahtnot.
So whatever. I think this would fit the current generation so well. They have money to burn, they are fucking lazy, and this is a good thing for the environment/farmers/everyone really.

Jesus Christ, did the bolt bend?

>hate virals this bullshit all over the internet and MSM
>everyone knows what an exorbitant overkill and ridiculous waste of money and resources it is
>now it's a status symbol of conspicuous consumption

I wonder what Stallman thinks about this, someone should ask him.

Well, a least the price is justified in the build quality. Honestly, I'd like to see more products take that approach of high end pricing, high end materials.
Just don't make the mistakes of over-engineering simple things.

ITT: Fat Neckbeard Unhealthy virgins

How the fuck is it good for the environment? You ship them back the plastic bags, which is worse for the environment then just trashing it.

Hey man say what you want about modern art but I actually enjoy Jackson Pollock's work.

Why they can't be busted for this? Or, at least, investigated?

best kek.

that really fired up my neurons

this is all you need, just invest in BLENDTEC

really makes my neurons feel

>feel it deep inside your neurons.
They are trying way too hard to be expressive. This isn't shingles.

At least the keurig actually BREWS your "coffee" rather than squeezing it from a pouch.

He can't keep getting away with it!

If you have the money to throw, it sounds like the best choice for juice.

Why do we need another thread for this?

Show people you can squeeze it by had, see what happens.

Fuck off fag

Volkswagens are shit tier. I assume its a VW.

>pressing a button

You mean pressing a button on the bonnet app you have to install

>not squeezing fresh neuron-activating juice with your new iphone
poorfags are just jealous.
Stop being poor.
I bet you guys eat fruit like the philistines you are