Ill try this again. i need help. I have this really cute girl coming over next weekend and I really want to impress her...

Ill try this again. i need help. I have this really cute girl coming over next weekend and I really want to impress her. Im so bad with girls but I think i cam get with her because she has low self esteem. Last month I heard her talking to her friend about how much she likes strawberry soda so I rented 8 cases of it to impress her. Im pretty sure when she sees the cases of strawberry soda she will think i have a lot going for me. What are other ways i can get her to sleep with me because i can't actually let her drink any of the soda.

Lol

Halp

pic related? she is a cutie.

>she likes strawberry soda
>so I rented 8 cases of it to impress her
>autism
>What are other ways i can get her to sleep with me
>i can't actually let her drink any of the soda.
>wtf autism... why

This is bait. Nobody is going to believe you're this autistic. You can't fucking rent cases of soda anyways wtf is wrong with you?

Yes i have more. Ill post if you help me

How does one rent soda?

>because i can't actually let her drink any of the soda
lolwut.

Nice b8 tho

Are you related to doublemint Dave?

I don't know what w how you all guess i have autism. Its my biggest problem. I can get this one but i need help. I did rent the soda! I have to give it back to jim or ill lose my deposit if even one is missing. Jim said he would rent it to me after i told him about my strawberry girl

You need to lurk more bucko

She is the right one. The left one is too fat and im not black

...

this is her on a water floater

This is her with the guy I rented the soda from. He told me he would tell her it was all my soda

Dude, what? How much does renting soda cases set you back.. Asking for a friend

Not being silly mate but I think shes getting shafted by the soda guy

Only $8 a day for 7 cases. He gave me one extra because he knows how much this means to me.

Relax, this isn't bait

I think he's taking advantage of your autism, whats stopping you from buying soda at a shop that she can actually drink for like $5 less

He doesn't even like strawberry soda so i dont think shes into him.

...

Yo you're dumb affff

I think you're focusing on the Strawberry Soda too much, I don't think shes gonna hop on your dick just because you have some fizzy drinks

Because I could only afford one case and i dont think she would be that impressed so after i told jim about my interest in her he said I could rent 8 full cases of soda as long as I didn't open any of them. If i open one ill have to give him $40 and I only make that every 5 days

>I rented 8 cases of soda to impress her
>I rented 8 cases of soda
>I rented soda
>Rented soda
kys

I think she will be really impressed by the amount of soda in my bedroom

I'm confused here.
>RENTED A FUCKING DRINK
I think she'd enjoy you cooking her something nice or eating her out rather than staring at 8 cases of strawberry soda for 5 seconds

Like chicken nuggets?

No... Not like chicken nuggets.

Seriously what the fuck?

Her: wow i love strawberry soda too. May i have one?
You: no
You: i made you chicken nuggets please sleep with me

Yeah I guess so, girls like shitty meaningless things like McDonalds and shit like that.

^^^this cunt above me isn't original guy OP

But at the same time she isn't gonna fuck you straight up, unless shes into that. Usually the third date tends to end up in a fuck fest

>I have this really cute girl coming over next weekend and I really want to impress her.
>What are other ways i can get her to sleep with me

Sorry, but getting a girl to sleep with you won't impress her

If I was you, I'd buy a crate or at least some strawberry soda she can actually drink, it's gonna be real awkward if she asks for one and you say no. Buy a crate that is drinkable, then the rest is for show.

Obvious troll but..
Lol just imagining the "I love strawberry soda! Can I have one?" "No!" Followed by the cracking, sucking sound of a vagina drying up and vacuum sealing.

Well I thought about asking jim if i can rent a cat off him too. Her cat died last week and if she sees i have a cat and strawberry soda I think it would seal the deal

Give your friend the soda back he's ripping you off. You only need one case. Having more than one makes you look retarded. And let her drink it. Next buy a crock pot and a rice cooker make a simple crock pot dish. And a side of rice. Don't be an autist use a recipe from the internet. And last and most importantly clean your place. Girls prefer to fuck in a clean environment and I mean like CLEAN mother fucker.

I don't know this is getting really expensive. Nuggets and an actual soda. Okay ill spring for it. Good idea

Or make her burst into tears about how she no longer has a cat

10/10

>a water floater
kek

My place is super clean because there is not much in it. I have a nes with duck hunt but no gun for it, a tv and a table that has all the soda on it. Other then the foldable chair the rest of the place is empty. Now you see why i have to really impress her with all the soda

Of which you then deny her to drink any.

>her on a water floater
>a water floater
>water floater
the bait is too strong

Wait you have only one chair?

Bait, but entertaining

I swear this is a fucking cartoon sketch from like Spongebob or something.

Sure user, pic with timestamp or this is bullcrap! We can give you legit advice if we're sure this is not bait

This is my favorite picture of her showing off her mouth extension

You're not even trying anymore...

No one is helping. Im trying really hard!!!!!!

solution to anons problem:
>she comes over
>'wow, 8 crates of strawberry soda. I'm wet 4 you'
>'can I have some?'
>OP: 'no, the wizard will get angry forbid me from using the home'
>'wut' [pond dries up]
>OP: 'shall we go for a walk in the ocean'
>???
>OP:'If you like we can drive, I have my seed givers water floater'
>'sounds cool'
>OP:'isn't the moon so bright?'
>'its daylight'
>OP:'I know, it truly is isn't it.'
>OP:'oh well, May I insert the rod of truth now'
>.... 'ok'
WINRAR

i love you user

Will that work?

Someone has been to New York

garunteed
>you might want to show her your penny collection tho, just to seal the deal

Wow! Great idea! Do you think its big enough to impress her?

Im missing one tho. She might think im a loser

...

You literally have a penny collection...im done

you might want to exaggerate the size; like a peacock warding off predators.
>got out and get frames
>place each individual penny in frame
>cover walls in pennies
>put pennies on table tops
>exaggerate pennies worth
>watch the pennies reflect the sexuality of wettened penny
>pic related, her reaction

Dis bish looks like Riley Reid fo sho.

Is she related or sumtin?

Ha!

Her name is jess

To OP
You shouldn't have tried to impress this girl with strawberry soda she can't drink, that's literally the weirdest/autistic/this girl will find you immediately weird and creepy shit i've ever seen.
Just be yourself, try to just simply have fun with the time you'll have together at your house.
Not be a faggot with a ton of non drinkable strawberry soda dude, you're really not trying/i really don't know if this girl is actually into you.

Oh she is. Every time i see her she complements me and she invited herself over. I did not ask her.

She drives a nice person cart so i think she has money. You are saying I should try to rent more soda?

100% bait but i'm fucking loving this anyways lmao

This is a picture of us. Thats me the week i got my new vision glasses

Forgot pic

Pics of soda or isnt true

This is a nice picture of us.

What is happening

...

That's exactly how it shall go down

Oh shit that guy. Im actually laughing really hard

This is becoming one of the best posts on Sup Forums in a long time.

Alright i just got off aim with her and she actually brought up strawberry soda. She will probably want some when we meet up. Tim was very specific about not drinking the soda. Im going to get her a 10 piece of nuggets and when im getting ready to reheat them on the george forman ill open a can of of tuna so it makes the sound of a can opening and just put water in a glass with strawberry hershey flavor. Ill get her to agree

Fuck ill have to displace the tuna. Ill bring it in the bathroom with me

That might be obvious.

fucking kek

Oh wow she wants to bring her best friend. I don't know if the nuggets will cut it. I really need your advice/b/. Pic related its sandy

>mouth extension

>rents soda
nigga what, are you that poor?

OP that's not the same girl. you lyin

what the actual fuck

It is. She is jae lynn on fb. Maybe one of you could put in a good word? Don't mention the soda. I dont want her to get ideas

>tell her the soda is for display purposes only
>if she gets weird about it simply show her the paperwork for your rental agreement
>rape her afterwards
>see if she is cool enough to return the soda post impregnation
>you have won

...

you should really post pictures of the soda bro. nobody will take you seriously if you dont

>implying this is not bait

Please archive this

Are we witnessing the birth of strawberrysoda chan?

parts of this I wish could be archived but too many new fags