Ylyl: Science Joke Edition

Ylyl: Science Joke Edition
>Bonus points for biology in this round

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Inb4 h2o2

Fuck off nerd

Trump voter detected.

Lost

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Anybody want to hear a joke about sodium?

One of my favourites

Fuck off.

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no

Nope. Too inflammable

Na, mate

Na

What dissolves better in water? A bear from Alaska or a bear from Yosemite?

> pseudo intellectuals have to let everyone know they are pseudo intellectuals.


Lol. Weak af op.

Probably the most clever thing you have said in yer life

How about potassium

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I don't want to live

fill my ass with potassium daddy

K

K

Those are bacterophage viruses, not retroviruses you fucking simpleton

OP here, or i just like hearing jokes on this topic, it's not like anyone will know who i am. I just enjoy these

Wow. A failed attempt at making fun of nerds. Your life must be awesome.

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heisenberg gets pulled over by the cops. the cop asks "do you have any idea how fast you were going? heisenberg says "no, but i know exactly where i am"

That fucking red bag.

ikr, i just couldn't find a picthat matches the actual virus. It's not my pic.

don't trust atoms. they make up everything.

Bacteriophage virus is redundant you cunt.

Schrodinger was on that truck as well. Cop is going to check the trunk and yells: "Do you know there is a dead cat in here?"
Schrodinger:"We were unsure. Now we know"

So Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing a game of hide and seek. Einstein starts counting "1...2...3..." and Pascal immediately runs away to hide. But instead of hiding, Newton kneels down and draws a square of one meter side length, then steps inside of it. Einstein finishes counting and turns around. He instantly yells "Newton I have found you!" But Newton replies: "Nuh-uh, you found Pascal!"

I'm going to hide behind anonymity and ask why that's funny.

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Wow, trying to affiliate with "nerds" in a bullshit attempt to elevate your own status despite neither having an education nor profession in any "nerd" field.

Lol. Literally worthless.

A Pascal is the SI unit of pressure, equal to one newton per square metre.

Better than being an anti-intellectual like you fam tbh senpai

Pascal - a measure for pressure, which is force per area

Pascal is an SI-unit for measuring pressure.
1 Pascal = 1 Newton/ 1 square meter

So shitpost thread

In physics Newton (a measurement for force)*square meter is Pascal (a measurement for pressure)
N/m^2=P

No, Pascal will be my future GF. I already had sex with Maxwell.

Feel free to not participate, nice pic though

This thread is like the big bang theory.
It's jokes touching science, but on a stupid level for stupid people, so they can feel smart

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What temperature is the bear from Alaska?

Did I say I was a nerd?

Faggot.

Normal

Bazonga! XD

Zimbabwe!1

Gotta go with Alaskabear then. Something to do with temperatures modifying dissolution times

Bazooper

I still like this one

Welp it's polar so yeah

Alaska because it's polar

and when the copknocked on window heisenberg rolled down and said "I am the one who knocks" xD

Aaaayyyyy

my all time favourite

>banana
>off by 2
You now have to kill yourself
Also
Where are you

See

HEH

OP here, please don't be mean imma cry and kill myself because someone i don't know and will never meet called me pseudonerd over the internet.

Seriously i'm neither pretending to be a nerd nor a genius, i am dumber than an average bananafag, i just like the jokes. No one forces you to stay and post on this thread and it will certainly not affect anything, so you could kindly fuck off

salt in the wound

Mathematician walks into a bar and orders one beer, secend mathematician orders half a beer , third one one quarter ... Finally angry barman puts 2 beers on the table and says " You mathematics dont know your limits "

kek

A physicist, an engineer and a mathematician were all in a hotel sleeping when a fire broke out in their respective rooms.
The physicist woke up, saw the fire, ran over to his desk, pulled out his CRC, and began working out all sorts of fluid dynamics equations. After a couple minutes, he threw down his pencil, got a graduated cylinder out of his suitcase, and measured out a precise amount of water. He threw it on the fire, extinguishing it, with not a drop wasted, and went back to sleep.
The engineer woke up, saw the fire, ran into the bathroom, turned on the faucets full-blast, flooding out the entire apartment, which put out the fire, and went back to sleep.
The mathematician woke up, saw the fire, ran over to his desk, began working through theorems, lemmas, hypotheses , you-name-it, and after a few minutes, put down his pencil triumphantly and exclaimed, "I have proven that I can put the fire out!" He then went back to sleep.

I like this thread. Fuck trumptards

A Farmer has some problem with his chickens.
They suddenly don't lay eggs anymore
Luckily, he has two very smart friends.
One is a physicist and one is a chemist
He asks them to take a look at the chickens, and so they do. They come back the next day, to present their conclusions.
The chemist goes first. He says:
"I have run some tests, and i can confirm that there is indeed a problem with your chickens"
Next is the physicist, who says:
"I have a solution, but it requires isolated, spherical chickens in a frictionless vacuum"

This kind of stuff is only funny to 9th and 10th graders who took their first introduction to chemistry class.

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>Science Joke Edition
nigga, please

Erwin Schrödinger, Werner Heisenberg, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar.

Schrödinger: This may be a joke, or it may not be a joke, but it would be ludicrous to assert that it simultaneously both is and is not a joke.

Heisenberg: Well, the more convinced I become that this is some kind of a joke, the less certain I am that it's funny.

Chomsky: Of course it's funny! You guys aren't telling it right!

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To those who post insults etc on this thread: Thanks for keeping the thread alive faggots

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omg, i almost let that one bait me
science cringe

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Almost goteem

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that's stupid af. Heisenberg was a meth cook not a physicist / biologist or anything!

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this bait

Viva Le Trole'

that's aids quality bait.

This is actually one of the most convincing troll physics.
It's the one i remember best

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Why not would this work?

find 1 flaw in the process

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on a bigger scale this would work

Dividing by zero

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