Is my only option to kill myself?

Is my only option to kill myself?
>Be me, 26 years old. Work at big IT company
>1st of April
>my co-workers think it would be hilarious to >put laxatives into my coffee
>sudden urge to shit while in meeting, excuse >myself and go to the bathroom. Nothing >comes out. Go back to meeting.
>Fart silently. Never trust a fart.
>People start looking disgusted.
>"Maybe something died outside?"
>Get up after the meeting is over.
>shit all over my pants, massive shit stain on >chair.
mfw everybody in the company calls me Stainley (My name's Stanley)

Haha stainley

kek you'll need to kill yourself

yep, it is all about the choice of suicide now, can i suggest fuckin with your co-workers by OD'ing on laxatives.

Get rich by suing your co-workers and the company for drugging you and so on

If they really did that to you and you consider killing yourself, don't.
Kill them instead.

...

Get back at them with doing the same thing

No. Kill them. Kill every single one of them.

...

Beat up the co-workers after work? When they go to a bar or get home?

really you shit your pants, get it over it fag their are people with real problems fucking stainley, your are a stain not cause you shit you pants just cause you are in real life...

Offer to make coffee or tea to the guys who pranked you, and use rat poison instead of sugar.

Make sure you do it on the next 1st of April though, so it can still pass as a joke

Report this to security. They could face jail time.

your a fag seriously, you and stainley would be bff forsure,, if you guys where not such bitches this type of shit wouldnt happen to you,, its your fault that nobody likes you..

That's true OP. Only certain types of people get ripped like that. We have one my group of my mates. He gets johnnies in his food n all sorts but he takes it like a champ (he's a bit autistic). But you're i'm detecting your defo a loser and you're life will continue this way unless you alpha the fuck up and do some fucked up shit back

...

Oh shit i thought you were talkin to OP
You are also an absolute melt. Call the police. Fucking hell what a poof

You and your friends sound awsome

We have a laugh

bro let me tell you something and this is fucking golden, don't react and stop playing into these peoples hands and acting like a bitch eg making a suicide post. fucking grow a set stop being a bitch. you get bugged for a reason cause you give em a reaction negative or positive, give em nothing they will stop treating them like the bitch you are.

Sue them

OP here, I totally ignore them, they're not leaving me alone though. Think about switching jobs, but make good money there

delete them system32

Lol

This is the only sensible thing to do.

I'd be so salty they did such a "shitty" thing.

Go balistic on their ass, sue the fuck out of everyone and get lots of money. This will make these retards think twice before ruining the career of someone else for no other reason than "the keks for 1st of April"

Thats cos the lions have the smell of a gazelle in their working environment. I'm guessing your like a will ferrel in the other guys.
>change job
>change yourself

Grow a pair and get some revenge.

Literally get a bucket of boiling water, sugar and bleach and just up end it over one of their heads. You'll get sacked but it'll be worth it watching him writhe around in agony with his skin slopping off the bone.
>do it OP. YOU can do it

>You'll get sacked but it'll be worth it watching him writhe around in agony with his skin slopping off the bone.
I doubt that getting sacked is all that would happen, user.

Yeah i thought that the moment i posted. OP does not sound like he suits prison.

Just buy some stain remover

Suicide? Jesus fucking christ OP. You realize that you are sitting on not just shit-stained pants, but a massive lawsuit. You could own that company.

Murrican suing culture. Can't settle anything like men.

You just hit the lottery. Sue for millions. Don't you remember the bitch that got over a million for spilling hot coffee on herself? Profit.

Cause putting laxative in the coffee of someone having a business meeting for the sake of 1ST APRIL LOL is very manly ?

Yeah, going to jail for assault is much better, fucktard.

doit.

Life's not worth living anyway.

Sue them for drugging you.

You're a retard, you got yourself an opportunity to make big bucks and teach these mongoloids a lesson.

Just sue the fuck out of them. Congrats OP you're rich.

Sorry when did i say that act was manly?
Been covered bro, and just incase you don't get sarcasm, yeah, Sarcastic. What fucktard would believe that's legit advice.
Pleb

hows summer going for ya kid

I live in Ireland, not the US. Don't think I could get rich suing anybody. Costs for the lawyer would be higher than the money I'd get

Ha easiest get out ever. This site is so full of pussies it's pathetic. Thought i'd have my first lurk in a few months and found what i expected. Cucks, sissys and faggots like you. Fuck this board

you're even more pathetic than op

>Sorry when did i say that act was manly?

You made it sound like sueing them is bad because OP should "react as a man".

OP should react as an intelligent human being who could get GOOD MONEY out of a trial.

Beating someone up or prank them in return will not bring him anything good. Pretty much the opposite actually.

OP fights: Can get sued, could get jailtime, could get fired etc...

OP pranks in return: vicious cycle is on, they gonna prank him back, harder, again and again.

OP sues them: He gets money, doesn't threaten his job AND submit all the others basterds who will be scared of pulling shit on him again.


Sueing is winning here, wtf are you talking about ?

Lol you just sound like a pussy thats all. I'd just personally wait for one of them outside and nut him. Once the others see a popped nose, no more abuse. But yeah you murricans love a court room so crack on with your advice. Fag