Hey Sup Forums, the job market sucks. What's the best/lowest risk way to make $1000 illegally?

Hey Sup Forums, the job market sucks. What's the best/lowest risk way to make $1000 illegally?

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Mow some lawns and don't pay tax.

rob a drug dealer

Selling weed.

Bump bc I need that good $300 send it to my PayPal please I need money to get a job help me

paypal.me/SkyRandazzo

Sent. :)

>paypal.me/SkyRandazzo
$300 inbound
check your balance

__cucumber liar__

>buy molly from alphabay
>go to a rave
>put on sunglasses and a hoodie
>act like you're fucked up
>wait for people to approach you and ask if you have drugs
>sell them the molly for 10 times the price

it's like you niggers aren't even trying

I will wait

Suck 1000 dicks for $1 a piece

It still hasn't come

Not expecting it to

if you have to ask how you can make money, you are not worthy of having any

Suck 100 dicks for $10.

is there someone who's willing to pay $1000 for a bj?

No.

No but I'd bet there's at least a hundred people willing to pay $10 for a blowjob

Probably

This shit sucks and I know how it feels.
Sent!

I'll suck anyone's dick for Minecraft hacks

Yes, but I have AIDS

how about $500?
this doesn't appeal to me
can I get aids if I don't swallow?

You'd be lucky to get 50 bucks m8.

it's all about supply and demand, what if I dress up as obama and sing a lullaby while sucking?

I stake(gamble) on this game called runescape, turned $63 into $1900 the other week in like 4 days

how to?

If that's your selling point, it might work. Go on craigslist.

>Hit up CL
>Let guys put it in yer pooper
>¿¿¿
>literally profit

but I haven't taken anything in my pooper so far, what if I provide a terrible service and they just leave without paying?

Please my guys I need the sweet money paypal.me/SkyRandazzo

You need a pimp.

I already sent you $300 you greedy fuck.

sell lsd to kids

it's not hard. Invest in a phallus, get used to it, make sure you loosen up your butt before getting fucked.

Learning to suck dick is extremely beneficial as well!

for real though how do I have quality sex with someone if I'm not into it and even mildly repulsed? how do whores do it? I get the feeling just laying down and taking it won't be enough as the whore market is quite competitive

I did not receive it

Sell your girlfriend in the sex trade... Guaranteed Profit!

Itt: anons help OP become an actual faggot

Undercut the competition and drive them out of business by "servicing" 100 men per day.

Sell pot and smoke none, Never deal to niggers ever

youtube.com/watch?v=ozMuy_k4Nrg

ummm pretend the neckbeard you're fucking is a hot girl? Who gives a shit all you need to worry about is making sure he's satisfied so he gives you more money.

Also I wasn't kidding about the dildo. Get your gag reflex under control it takes like 2 weeks if you practice diligently, you'll be popular af

assuming I work 12 hours a day, that would still leave one man with only about 7 minutes to nut, and this isn't even taking transportation into account. the only reason this could work is if I opened an office with a waiting room for a seamless transition between clients. unfortunately I don't have the necessary budget for opening such an operation

what about the shame aspect of this activity? will I need to spend money on therapy after I realize I can't look in the mirror? that would alter the efficiency of this line of work significantly

*the only way this could work
damn I'm more retarded than usual today
at least I got dub dubs

Guess I learned today that no one will send me money. Listen to the b8 picture, boys. Last try though pls paypal.me/SkyRandazzo

Work your way up. Save your money and start a business. Put up a sign and everything.

"10 minute anal quickies for $10, or a pound for a pound if you're british ;)"

here u go buddy, hope you get back on your feet

Personally I never felt bad sucking dick. If it means I'm bi who gives a shit lol

Here's what I do OP.

>Get a partner in crime
>Go to a bar/club and flert with ugly bitches because those are the easiest to get
>Pretend to take her back to your house
>Walk her into an alley or some shit
>Partner in crime comes out with knife and mugs you both
>You act like a pussy and turn off ugly bitch with your betaness
>He leaves
>Convince her that cops won't do anything
>Take her home
>Split the score with partner in crime

Got kik or snapchat? I shall teach u

Any non-prostitution ideas? The field's already saturated.

what about sucking disgusting dicks? I believe men who turn to prostitution to get their dicks sucked might not be attractive, and therefore have unattractive dicks as well. I'd suck a trap's dick with joy no problem, but how do I dodge the bad smelling hairy fellas with dick cheese? if I just turn them down after seeing their dicks I'll get a bad reputation and cuck myself out of business.
is there a way to filter out these people, or should I just put up with it?
>a pound for a pound if you're british ;)
I like this. if I establish an easily recognizable brand and slogan for myself I might become well known, and I could even expand my operation and employ other people to do the actual sucking for me under the already established brand

Never had cops involved, by the way. But I've had to put my dick in some big meaty holes before.

This sounds shady, what's in it for you?

I gamble on a game if anyone wants to learn
It's 50/50 ez moneys

Idk we can be partners
How is that shady lol wtf am I going to do with your kik/snapchat

Gamble/play the stock market

You could jus cap straight rock salt / preworkout tbh. Not as bad as ppl who sell fake m / methalone / meth and way cheaper then alphabay.

You hear stories of people scamming others on runescape, not sure how it works but I just assumed the worst.
Leave your kik I gotta go to the post office, but I'll add you after

I generally keep to 3 rules:
1. Wash your dick
2. WASH YOUR DICK
3. Trim it down if it's a jungle

They're pretty good at washing. The fat ones that don't wear deodorant are the worst though.

sell drugs at your local college

Kik: orgastic_op

this is actually mildly encouraging, I'll look into it thanks

Make ans sell DXM

Your bait was perfectly placed.

I cannot refute its artistry.

Mug some nerds for their magic cards then sell online.

>kill yourself
>collect your inheritance
>??????
>profit?
Even though I couldn't get past the first step I'm sure some like you could pull it off OP

Lost 500m at the duel arena

Fuck you

Learn to stake peasant.
Made a light $700 just now (:

Brb buying hasta

Kek Gl. If you wanna be partners I stake on other Rsps, swap to 07 and make bank that way too

NOT BEFORE I KILL YOU FIRST FAGGOT!

LIGHTNING AXE, MADNESS COST FIERY TEMPER!!

HAHAHAHA!!!!

How do you make enough money to have decent shit? I quit the game a long time ago because I couldn't break 2m

10/10

I either buy gp, get loans from friends, or swap gp from Rsps and stake always. I don't play for fun, only for $

there is an organization that will pay $5000 for reporting a dog fight to them

Buddy of mine makes e-liquid and sells it to underage teens. Costs him like 50 cents to make a bottle of it. Sells it for $10, he beats the price of shops by like $6. Dude makes bank

I hear you can make good liquid with antifreeze.

m.humanesociety.org/news/news/2009/07/dogfighting_tip_line_072009.html

This OP