Okay last thread died

Okay last thread died.
Get in there.

Also, an user in last thread said I had BPD. What does it mean ?

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I was young and very frustrated with how my life had been going and how little I was able to do to change it. I had lost contact with many of my friends, and needed someone to vent to, so in a moment of humility I called up this faggy obnoxious brat who was always trying to be friends with me. We walked through the forest late at night, talking. I opened up to him and let him know much more than he needed to know.

He tried to relate everything I said to his life in a way that you can imagine only made things worse for me. I was in a dark, dark spot, and here this entitled little brat was making everything about himself. For reasons I won't ever fully be able to explain, my perspective on the worth of a human life was strongly distorted that night. Perhaps it was the infinite expanse of stars above my head reminding me of our utter insignificance as a people, or maybe it was just the obnoxious mouth-breather I was walking next to.

Whatever it was, it was real, and it was picking at me. I realized in the future I would look back and think in this moment I was just being "edgy" and needlessly nihilistic, and the feeling would come to pass. But in the moment I knew it was very, very true that a human life was worthless, and in the moment it was my reality.

We kept walking up a gradual hill for minutes, as I listened to the idiot's monologue in silence. Finally we reached the top of the hill and started walking next to a cliff on its other side. Mildly annoyed at his speech, I threw my weight into the idiot, sending him tumbling backwards off the cliff-side. He didn't scream loudly on the way down. I continued walking through the forest with the indifferent glow of the stars to guide me.

Borderline Personality Disorder. I actually have it too. Shit sucks, weed helps.

Nice. How did it feel in retrospect? Did he die, or just get injured?

Well I think I would know by now if I had BPD don't you think ?

He did die, and I do feel guilt. I have no way to compare it to what the average person would feel but I assume it isn't very much.

It wasn't an inconsequential action. I became a bona fide murder suspect. I cared just as little about my own life as his when I did it. I still don't care very much but I'm vaguely glad to be alive and not in jail.

Nigger I'm not that user, you just asked what it was.

That's quite a good story !

That reminds me the day I slapped this girl because I was angry.

How did you get out of it?

I know but if you have it you could tell me how you discovered it.

Neat, fresh cringe material

Google that shit, look at the symptoms. I didn't realize what it was til I was 21. It had been diagnosed as severe anxiety, depression, adhd, and bipolar disorder in the years that I started seeking treatment until I heard about BPD from one of my doctors and did a lot of research.

I enjoy scat. Seriously. I fuck myself with a dildo and shit while i'm fucking myself. It's just super messy and really hot. I don't enjoy things being smooth and clean all the time.

And i also rub my own shit on my ass and cock. Lots of fun.

I go for a happy ending massage once a month.

I go to a different place each time. I also lie to the massueses all the way though our small talk during the massage

Maybe not. It's a personality disorder so if you have it it's hard to tell because you have nothing else to compare it to.
It's just the way you are

god i have to see a doctor. Family and friends will break my balls (again) "We can talk about this" "I can be there for you". I think i'll live with this then.

Was meant for

I think i have a split personality
I've "lost" entire days, sometimes weeks
Up 'till now i don't seem to have done anything too stupid
Once i woke up on top of an hill, lying on the ground next to my motorbike
I'm too scared to seek proper help, though

I had good legal counsel, and when they interrogated me they realized they could never prove my guilt beyond reasonable doubt. I had no real alibi, but I also had a history of disappearing for hours at night. The kicker was that the kid had confided to his mom about being depressed just a few days earlier.

Most people close to the case think I did it. We talked on the phone that night and both disappeared at around the same time.

That's a funny/cool secret. Especially the lying part.

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I was that user. Borderline Personality Disorder. Weed doesnt help but yes it sucks.

What was his name?

ITT: mental people

i was raped as a child. never told my parents. although, with how they reacted with me getting molested about a year afterwards it was probably a good idea i kept it to myself
>i'm also starting to exhibit symptoms of schizophrenia

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I'm 29 only got diagnosed last year.

Smoke weed. Seriously it helps a lot.

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Ffs stop recommending weed for mental illness

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This isn't a confession, I'm just venting my secret into the void.

I'm doing alright and I haven't seen a doctor in years. I just smoke weed and focus on finding what coping mechanism works for you. Do you hear voices? No edgy shit, I'm actually trying to help you.

Dubs get

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I'll stop when it stops working, faggot.

Well yeah maybe. I have hint. I sleep a lot, I feel sometimes sad for no reason. To be honest i'm scared to go to see a psychologist. Because my family will know and I don't want to because I'll have to talk with them about it and I hate to talk about my pain to others.
Except on Sup Forums because no one knows who I am and everyone will forget about it.

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The lying started off as a paranoid thing I did to try and protect my identity. But then I realised I found talking total shyte to these girls was pretty enjoyable.

"What do you do for a living?"
"I sell horse grooming tools"

Then they ask you shit about your made up profession, and I just keep bullshitting. It's almost like impov I guess

Nice. Anything you would have done differently if you were to do it again?

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Maybe for you but most people get fucked up on that shit if they have a condition.

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No it really doesn't
I've even stopped drinking
I think it has to do with me being tired... Or dissatisfied with something
It started happening after i had a crash
Initially i could literally remember anything, it would just pop up again later
Then i started being a lot more straightforward than usual

Is that anal addict from the last thread still here? Still wanna see that ass.

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what was his name anonymus friend ? Aren't we your faggit friend on this maymay site ? I mean we create meymey together so you can tell us anonimus friend.

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Can you please fuck off?

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No I don't hear voice. I'm just sad sometimes. Sleep a lot. The problem is I don't know what I have. In my life, i'm pretty good at being normie. Acting tough, saying sarcastic jokes etc. But the truth is, i'm not as confident as I would like to admit. And I hate talking about my feelings with people I know.

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Sounds like you just need to figure yourself out. It might not be mental illness at all, just you not knowing what's wrong in your life weighing on your mental well-being. Meds won't help that, just direction and the feeling of purpose. Weed can help, but nothing works 100% of the time. It's not a magical cure-all, I'm just saying what works for me.

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Reported for spam.

scared of what user ?

I have a cd of my ex and i fucking that i beat off to rather than have sex with my partner.

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Oh okay. Why would you said that i had BPD in the first place ? (no offense, i'm just curious) I mean, everyone says he has depression when he feels a bit sad nowdays.

You're sad sometimes and you're socially awkward? That's not BPD, just stop being such a pussy. You'd be surprised what you can do if you aren't afraid to do it. I don't think meds (self prescribed or otherwise) will help you.

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Why are you with your current squeeze then and not your ex?

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I cant remember what was said but something reminded me of how I felt before I was diagnosed.

I find the idea pretty funny actually. Improvisation at its finest

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How quick do people get banned after you report them?

Fuck off newfag

You went to see a doctor ? Should I ? Did it helped you to know what you had, or nothing has changed ?

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My life improved markedly after that night, and I started feeling like a real human being with emotions and ambitions again. I enjoyed the level of scrutiny I was put under as a murder suspect and how people rallied to defend me. But I never considered myself a murderer. It was just a dream to me. That night was so blurry, and my head was in such a different place, it was like it wasn't even me who did it. I never felt like I was lying when I denied it.

Right now I'm experiencing another moment of nihilism. I don't feel guilty at all but I do feel responsible. On any other day I'd answer your question differently, but today I feel no remorse. I would do it again.

Not sure but if more than one person does it should be soon. I'm reporting them all.

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Of being marked as a mentally ill freak
Of losing my license, my love, my life
What if i snap...
What if i get to spend the rest of my life in a looney bin

Kid, house etc. Love the little one but I'm beginning to feel like life is a mistake.

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I showed my dick to a female for the first time. was kinda cool

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I wouldn't say socially awkward actually. I don't have problem going to see people, talking etc. It's just that when i'm getting close to people in terms of friendship, I freak out. I really don't feel good about being loved. It frightens me.

Unfortunately I started self-harming to try and handle my emotionaly instability and wound up in hospital after cutting too much. Was diagnosed shortly after. On good meds and in therapy and helped a lot.

i bet she was 12

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