Stupidest shit youve done while horny

Stupidest shit youve done while horny

Bump

Bump come on guys

Wanked using milkshake smh

hump my pillow

Howd it feel?

Hid in my sister's room to peek on her changing. Got caught.

Good at first I suppose but it just got sticky, warm and shit

Put a picture of girl on microsoft paint, drew a corset on her and wanked tbh

I jerked off in a warehouse

jerked off into a pair of my girlfriends sisters panties

masturbated

Nice

>inb4 all the wincest faggots asking for greentext

Stole some girls panties who was hosting a party I went to like a year ago, still got them somewhere

absolute madman

You sick fuck

I fucked a concrete, deer lawn ornament (after removing the tail).

Matched with a 2-3/10 on Tinder at like 4 in the morning after a night of drinking. Decided I needed some human interaction so I said fuck it and started talking to her. Turns out she's freaky af and literally within 3 days she was sending me nudes and vids of her getting off. I don't know how to feel about all of this.

bought a dragon dildo and used it and gaped my ass out

put sisters bloody panties on my face

How was it?

grabbed one of my sisters thongs and wrapped it around my face while I jerked off

what's wrong with you

put a finger in my butt, but got grossed out, stopped, and went to wash my hands

Fucked a 6/10

>Jerked off in a library in 8th grade
>9th grade I jerked off in the lunch room during study hall
>Jerked it in an airplane bathroom
>Jerked it in the girls locker room and wiped it on a girls inhaler...second time in a girls water bottle
>Went with mom to clean a house and jerked it on the panties of a 10/10 and put em back in the clean drawer
God so many jerk stories i cant list em all

Alotta sick fucks in this thread

sister's bra, one of too many times

what warehouse was this? where you work?

Jerked it to the cleavage of a fat underage Mexican girl

came into a GF's lotion bottle and closed it and shook it up while she was gone.

I've molested a schoolgirl when passing nearby school

Touched and groped her butt for a bit then ran away.

jerked on hot girls glasses that she left at school, touching my cock with them made me instacum

>695269512

It was pretty exciting since I was 12.

Didnt it hurt?

I was in the play ground. It was recess and I felt my very first tension under my pants. I came up to Rebecca and said "show you your private part and I will show you mine." I got arrested served a bit a time. Got fucked by a cell mate. That is what caused me to become homosexual

>Went to neighbors house when I was a freshman
>Noticed they werent home
>Went back home and grabbed duck tape cuz I saw in a movie if u put an X on the window it wont shatter all over (kinda worked)
>Put the tape up
>Went back home and grabbed a hammer
>Got back and smashed front door window
>Let myself in
>Snooped around for a little bit
>Called a 1-900 sex line hoping to talk some fucking with hot girls but they ended up just passing me around running up their bill
>Decided to go snoop in 9/10 mom panty drawer
>Found a GOLDMINE of hot panties
>Jerked it all over her panties and stalkings
>Put them back in drawer and slipped back out to my house
>They came over and knocked on the door
>OH FUCK my heart is pounding like a mother fucker
>They asked me if I had been outside and seen anything, so I said no, didnt hear anything
>They said ok and went back home.
>Stared down the mom every single time she was outside getting diamonds knowing my cum was rubbing on her pussy

A friend tells me having sex while high on marijuana feels amazing.

Get high and jerk off.

It wasn't amazing.

Begged my first cousin for nudes, fucked a tub of alcohol-based odor gel, tried to fuck my cat, put a bottle of lube in the microwave... etc

How wasn't it

It was nice to be able to grab and fuck something doggy style.

But its concrete?

Fucked your mom. Then you came along.

fucked a duck and
screwed a kangaroo

It took forever and didn't feel any different.

Jerked/sucked off my neighbor's black lab.

If you aren't Australian then it's interesting. If you are Australian, come back after fucking a crocodile and a stingray.

is that the dad from fresh prince
all nigs starten to look a like

now THATS sexual

australia is gay

hnggg story pls?

Jerked off in a public pool, got caught and kicked out, luckily I was 14 at the time so I didn't get sent to prison or shit.

fingerbang orangutan
horney at the zoo

·Jacked off in porta potty,

·jacked off with step sister panties

· secretly dated dads ex's daughter. Stayed the night all the time, fucked every time.

Sorry can't greentext cause I'm not a loser..

Yes, and the circumference was perfect and the depth was fine. It was surprising how great it felt.

Also me n a ex fucked in a public pool with people in it...more like swam around with my Dick in her..

hey everyone look at this cool guy! he doesnt greentext guys!

Haha how does it feel being a LOSER?

>Sorry can't greentext cause I'm not a loser

Did it

Did it

Huh til

Not sure which of these is stupider. Both involve too much alcohol.

>Golfing with my brother. Came home, decided we'd do a few shots. Ended up swapping blow jobs. Haven't talked about it since.

>At a party at my daughter's apartment, first time meeting her new bf. Shots were poured, got WAYYYY too drunk, ended up groping and making a pass at my daughter. She shot me down.

Did it

Did it

Kek

Did it

Tied a rubber band around my balls, rode a dildo while wearing my girlfriends 13 year old sisters dress

Did it but kept going

Y'all are fucking weird.

Do it right then faggot and get higher. Orgasm should be so strong ya nearly black out

Did em all

>be me
>live in a small village surrounded by fields
>alone staggering back from the pub
>pass a field with horses in
>late so no one is around
>go up to one of the horses that isn't asleep
>I stroke it a bit
>start groping its dick
>horse starts getting boner
>I suck it for a while
>suddenly it cums into my mouth
>not wanting to leave evidence I swallow
>walk the rest of the way home
felt good, but it was a horse

Did it

Quads Speak!! I'm out

Did it

Did it

Did it

Quads checked

Did it

Pretty simple. I was probably 13. My neighbors were out of town and were letting me walk and feed their dog for the weekend. I was just a super fucking horny kid. Started to rub his dick, and it got harder. I, in turn, got hard as a fucking Sherman tank. So I layed down, started jerking off while sucking the dog off until he came, and them some.

almost raped my cousin. We were makeout buddies and occasionally did oral together, but I wanted to penetrate her. Never did, but god damn did I want to.

Did 1 and 2

I use coconut oil as lube

Did it

...

Feels pretty fuckin' good.

QUADS

How did it go..heard it's bomb!

There must be some fucked up issues in your family.

>Made a pass at my daughter. She shot me down.

Did it, but actually fucker her for years

T R I P S

Fucked a pumpkin

Huff gasoline
Have sex with heroin addicts

Lol ok can't argue with that...so Fuck it..how do I green text. I've been here for a couple years but never cared for it..

Used lotion with menthol in it for abit of buttplay. Didn't know it had menthol. She cried. I laughed. We're seeing other people.

Stuff was call Tai-fu or some shit.

No, that IS the Fresh Prince. He gained a bunch of weight to do a Nutty Professor remake.

that's barely a sentence