This isnt a thread for attention. Yes im Severally Depressed. Suicide is an everyday thought for me

This isnt a thread for attention. Yes im Severally Depressed. Suicide is an everyday thought for me.
My question is why is this the only thing that truly makes me feel alive?

Please get help.

Nothing seems to help. Im on Meds, ones that work, more or less. It just doesn't stop the feeling of feeling alone and dead although im generally happy.

smoke some weed and pet a dog m8. helps a little bit in my experience

this. get a cute dogger for company

Hit the gym faggot! Work for a body you can take pride in!

Funny thing is im not a neckbeard fuck, im fairly attractive and pull bitches. My appearance is not my issue fuckboy. Its mental dipshit.

ISIS is there's for you OP. No worries.

get a dogger that requires a fair amount of exercise and walk him somwhere with a lot of people. it gives you a chance to socialize and possibly meet people.

happiness isnt just gonna come to you, you have to put in the work and seek it out

Choice nr1 - If cutting yourself is "the only thing that makes you feel alive", then cut deeper and see how alive you can feel.

Nothing will change your mind until you fail to kill yourself and wake up with severe loss of blood in a hospital (best case scenario), and you realise how close you actually were to death and how much you want to live.

That's how it worked for me. Pussied out of suicide twice, did it the third time (jumping off a bridge at 3am, about 20m fall into ice and extremely cold water below), woke up nearly dead because someone heard the splash, came to check, risked their lives to pull me out and called an ambulance.

Choice nr2 - refer to pic

That's assuming you're not trolling. If you're a troll, go get gangraped by 50 niggers fuckwit.

>Depression
>Jumps to obesity

Fucking idiots.
Read above. Its mental. Not a physical thing.

where the fuck did i mention obesity?

Stop fucking around with pencils and shit. Faggot.

Do you see the scar that obviously had stitches? To the top left of where ive been cuting.

I was hospitalized, after found in a shower full of blood. I was basically gone.

Because you believe your life is pointless and empty. Go do things for other people who are not in a position to repay you/ won't benefit you. Go to church, find religion. Get professional help.

the fucking tattoo

Religion lol. That wont help a thing.
I was raised into religion.

Sleep, fuking sleep, sleep deprivation easily puts me in an insensitive-dreamlike state. Really get sleep med.well and if you still have parents, go back home for now...

the high energy dog wasnt mentioned as a means to get fit, it was mentioned for being a reason to get out and do things. get away from home and wandering, self destructive thoughts. go for a god damn hike and look at rocks and trees and shit.

suicidal people think too much. just go and exist somewhere. take in the scenery, talk to the people, explore. do something that isnt wallowing in depression at home

>not for attention
>posting piddly arm cuts on Sup Forums

>thread
Then do roughly what the pic says if you're feeling brave, or go the normie way and get an active dog like a husky, jack Russell terrier, golden retriever, german shepherd and talk to people if they seem to be even remotely interested in you or your dog.

I disagree life is a meaningless void, do whatever you want OP, nothing will happen, it's lots of fun!

Just because you don't like it doesn't mean it can't help OP.

I live in the middle of the States. No scenery around. Only city. Working 6 days a week. No time for trips. Unfortunately.

I know I don't quite have the control on my feelings, sometimes I feel fuking bad without any real reason... Then i sleep and everything is back alright. Plus I think doing extreme things is quite bad, because you can easily get addicted to that.

> cutting
> the only thing that makes me feel truly alive

Its because you're an attention seeking AXIS II Borderline Personality Disorder piece of shit that's undoubtedly a frequent flyer at the local psych unit. I m sure they hate you at the ER. There's really no helping you assholes except death by fire.

Change jobs

You can get low-hour jobs with decent-amazing salary depending on your education, achievement, experience and location. Why do you work 6 fucking days a week? Absolutely no other choice? If you get paid lots, do you really need that much money?

Serious question, have you tried hard drugs?
That may help

that's the problem. you live on a flat plane and you're working your life away.

Drugs not gonna help you, it will be high and low, forever. Don't do it.

When its real you wont think about it you'll just do it. Its a calm feeling followed by action that will only be stopped by someone else. when its real you dont talk about it or even care if you leave a note. this is attention seeking shit. Be about it dont talk about it. Try drugs or some shit dude, I did that til life got fun then got sober.

Their is nothing here for me. I cant get away. I feel stuck, 24years old. Im a hole.

>attention seeking
>posting on an anonymous image boad

This is true, but I want to be happy. I want to live a life I am glad to live. I have hope. But its deteriorating rapidly. I didn't post im going to kill myself on stream. Im just trying to communicate.

Change your fuking mind, nothing can be worse than dyng, get the fuck out of your life, apply as a volunteer, it is really satisfying

Pick one

A) rage quit, delete file.

B) live a life a caliber above most because your not scared of death

C) seek medical help

D) seek attention like a faggot

>This isnt a thread for attention
Try harder OP

I dunno man. I'm a burner myself.

Posting the image is fag thing to do, cya trullz

i cant tell you this will work for you, because is may not.

but at 19, i felt the same way. i saved up 2000 dollars, packed up my beater car and started life over in another state. things were fucking hard at first, and i spent more than a few months on the verge of homelessness, but eventually i made it work.

i dunno, it just kinda gave me perspective. like no matter how bad things got, i could always try to make things better again the following day. it made me appreciate every little step toward being successful.

maybe you need something similar. just a thought.

what the fuck are the things that are making you depressed

Does the shock help you feel more alive?

>I want to be happy
Welcome to 21st century faggot, only the rich or genetically-blessed are truly happy. We, the slaves, work our asses off so we could buy shit that gives us some hope that good days will come - electronic upgrades, holidays, going out, entertainment, shit like that.

>this isn't a thread for attention
Yes it is you little wet pussy bitch. Kill yourself already.

Because it's your body basically going "oh shit nigger, what're you doing!?" and getting those self preservation instincts going. Your consciousness might be cool with dying, but your body isn't.

it doesnt always work like that. sometimes you just feel really shitty. there isnt always a logical reason behind it other than brain chemistry imbalances

More a distraction from anxiety. Sometimes my thoughts won't shut up so I heat the tip of my knife and burn. Can't focus on anything but pain afterwards.

I always burn the same spot to reduce the number of scars.

cuz you don't do anything else in your life. go outside and find a hobby you dumb fuck

Go ham Sup Forumsro

i'm not denying that, but sometimes people attribute their chemical imbalances (incorrectly) to environmental rather than genetic factors, and by the act of fixing their perceived environmentally-influenced issues they gain a bit of happiness, combating the depression which the whole time might've had nothing really to do with those environmental issues

I have a decent job, 15$ hr,
My two closest friends ended up fucking my exes, (One each)
I open my heart to everyone to get it stomped on.
I cant say no, I help everyone I can and get nothing out of it but heartbreak.
I live in a sober living house due to Alcoholism.
Still drink.
Hide it.
I have no vehicle.
Walking to work everyday.
Money goes to probation fees, obscured rent and food.

Kill/Rape someone? GUARANTEE it'll jumpstart your FUCKING heart.

Then if you get killed/die? You're right back where you started.

Hell, maybe you go to prison. Get in a gang, hurt some people. Who knows- adventures.

Or- maybe get a gf/bf. Who knows. Try shit you're vampantly uncomfortable with depending on how close to killing your fucking self you are.

bro ive got the same, im so fucking depressed al the time.
Mostly because I dont have friends, but I hate living in my country.
I made a promise to myself, If I cant move out of this shithole before im something like 35, im just gonna kill myself.
I've got 0 friends and my parents despise, I AM EMPLOYED THO !!!11!1! In a car repair shop

Make the hole bigger oni-san

Psh, that's stupid advice

sorry, forgot to link you guys to my post.
Subscribe to nihilism and realize none of it actually means anything.

Why is it stupid? What's the difference between dying on the inside/killing yourself and dying on the outside/being killed?

>Who knows- adventures.

hahahahahahaha

You have something that makes you feel alive!?
That is fantastic!
Most people do not find that until late in their life.
And a lot of poor sods never find that kind of spark.
Embrace it friend, no matter how strange and depraved it is. For it is you.

Op, I can't say I know what you're feeling but i deeply sympathize for you. I've had many people in my life struggle and live with the same thoughts and problems as you and it breaks me. If you ever want to talk to someone, a fellow user, who cares, hit me up on snapchat. And we can go from there. My snap is thatkaitodude.
I care, user.

In all likelihood, it's an issue that's occurring on two levels: 1) brain chemistry, 2) identity construction.

If you're on meds, then presumably you are undergoing some attempt to directly stimulate or suppress dopamine production. This can be really tricky, because it's a whole lot of guesswork. You may have to wait several weeks or even months for your levels to stabilize. It is likely that the epinephrine/adrenaline released from cutting is your attempt to directly stimulate your pleasure center. It's nothing to feel guilty about. It's no different, ultimately, than "runner's high" or other such shit that people do to their bodies to directly stimulate dopamine that society smiles upon and cheers at because it's "healthy." Clean your wounds so they don't get infected and don't be afraid to try replacement techniques. Talk to your therapist about things you might try to replace cutting with, like mindfulness or other strategies.

Psychologically, we are currently living in a society that literally places your self-worth on adhering to a set of expectations, which include your income, your physical appearance, your ability to make other people feel important, and your ability to produce things that others can consume. You are being forced to eat shit and like it. It is okay to dislike this society, and it is okay to reject the premise that you should have to "earn" your "right" to live. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO EXIST, user.

If you have something that you find at all fulfilling - writing, playing games, jerking off, anything at all - just do it. Don't qualify it as some kind of "vice" or "shortcoming" or any mitigating kind of bullshit that seeks to place your self-pleasure in the context of shame or guilt. Fuck shame. You deserve to be happy, and as long as you're not causing another person suffering by doing it, then there is literally nothing wrong with it.

There's no such thing as a waste of time. You are important. Stay alive.

Cutting and suicide aren't necessarily related. Cutting is an addiction; no more complex than smoking or drinking. Treat as you would any other stupid addiction. Tell yourself that you've gotten it out of your system and move on. Seriously, how many suicide notes have you written, hmmmm?

1 sounds good so far, but there's room for improvement
2. they're exes, move on man, there are other people
3. be a bit more careful with who you open up to, the average person will take advantage of you whether or not they intend to
4. take small steps toward saying no. you dont have to be mean about it, just say you cant, or it isnt in the cards right now
5-9. you're gonna pay for past mistakes for a while, but it's the past. younger people make mistakes. it happens. you can either let your past define you, or you can rise up and overcome it. the only thing stopping you is you.

no it wont be easy, it never is.

Pretty seriously, I've been steadily dying on the inside since about... the age of 12.

Nothing is illegal anymore, I've had to scrape ALL THE WAY at the bottom of the barrel to find a reason why anything matters if I want to die anyway.

Know what I found? That it's bullshit.

Get some fucking cocaine, or a prostitute. Or fuck it, a puppy. Who cares.

Go for a long walk, see GORGEOUS women and TRY to date them. If they say fuck you? Who cares, you're back at square one.

OR... start exercising... get REALLY good at it.

Go confront people who piss you off, see where that gets you.

Make your heart do things it's not supposed to- just don't spend another second staring at the wall thinking"fuck this"- cause I know that's essentially what you're doing.

This

Check SC user

Im over my past relations. Its the simply fact my two best friends would stab me in the back like that, thats what hurts.

Thanks for all the constructive comments. It really means alot.

Can I hit you up
I'm not suicidal, only fucking lonely that it trancends into a physical pain

I'm not sure if this is legit or not, but it should be treated realistically. This isn't the best forum to discuss something like this but, fuck it.
If this is something that makes you feel alive, then you should seek help. If you recognize it as something is harmful, thats the first step. We all have things that cause us pain, and sometimes we do something to alleviate it; our choices can sometimes be wrong. Whether its self medicating with drugs, self harming, or harming others, the first step is recognizing a behavior thats harmful to yourself or others.
I've been someone thats been there, and its fucked up but sometimes the only time we can feel alive or worth something is when we do something fucked up, sometimes we need to live in that moment where we test the waters and see how far we can take it and maybe work up the "guts" to finally do it, we get a thrill out of it and thats fucked up.
But you need to start therapy, and start to really appreciate yourself, otherwise you'll continually be caught in this fucked up cycle.
Tell those people that are close to you how you feel, and start building your life in the right direction. Stop posting to boards where people don't give a shit about you, and reach out to people that really care.

honestly Im 26 I am fat, hispanic, maybe 5-6/10 looks and find no value in my life but what I do to keep myself alive is live to try and help others.... I find value in other people and want them to feel that value. I help and just offer kind words and or do things to make.them feel better. I'd like to feel loved not even in a romantic way just genuine love from a friend or even my little brothers whom are not biologically mine but j find great value in them. I live to try and improve their lives.

Perhaps a deep self hate, or an inner pain that numbs when you distract yourself with outer pain, or gives your brain some kind of subconcious closure, you're hurt, but its a complicated hurt and you don't understand it, so you cut yourself and associate that with the hurt inside, because you do understand why a cut hurts

What truly bothers me is that you probably have 3 meals a day, a microwave and a place to live and theres people struggling to get a drop of water every fucking day. Life is so precious but you are so imature, you are not suicidal you are just bored and distracted. You wanna know how I know? Because somedays you are not bored and you forget about suicide but when you have nothing else to do you overthink about your life and past decisions. When was the last time you were happy? You are not suicidal you are just distracted.

Post more blood OP!

This is me

This guy is actually pretty right. Never did drugs, just kind of existing. Maybe i'm not the best source of information, lol.

Gonna pay for sex from a hooker tomorrow, why? cause it's illegal. I actually had sex with a girl I met last week on... Sunday? I'm pretty good with women.

Doesn't change the fact that I hate my life :-)

Let me be the first to acknowledge that eh? I'm pretty well taken care of. Doesn't mean shit.

Faggot.

Praise be user

Sorry, but to be honest, I'm not really sorry. If you cut or harm yourself purposefully then you are retarded, and I'd you kill yourself that's just natural selection weeding out the idiots who think that it could ever solve anything.

OP
I'm not a pro medfag but I think I know why this happens
From some who knows what reason your brain cannot transfer endorphine unless you feel physical pain
Now what I know from personal experience is that adrenaline helps spreading the endorphine (like running after fapping, or doing pushups after eating a chocolate) and it feels much better and it lasts longer

My advice would be start freerunning our parkouring on dangerous course where it is impossible not to get hurt
If pain is the only way to feel alive by my standard feeling pain while running will make you feel fucking living
Go on and tear your kneas till they bleed a river, break your bones until they start turning into a fine powder and keep smashing them

unfortunately, friends arent always what they seem to be.

there are a lot of shitty people in this world whether they mean to be or not. everyone who ever lived was one kind of asshole or another.

take it slow and give yourself some credit man, it sounds like you've pulled yourself out of some pretty deep shit. that's admirable in its own right.
maybe try looking at what youre accomplishing rather than what you arent. set small, attainable goals for yourself and work toward them. then you'll have some positives to look back on instead of exclusively negatives.

and seriously, it sounds stupid, but find yourself a hobby you can get lost in. something that lets you escape the destructive thinking depression can bring on.

Yeah! Hurt yourself to make them pay! That'll show'em!

It doesn't fucking matter if his situation is better than someone else's. We all have different brain structures, different lives, different joys and addictions.

Just because he has it better than some tribal nigger deep in Africa doesn't mean he can't feel suicidal or hate his life, obviously not everyone is on the same level but that doesn't mean everyone isn't susceptible to the same bullshit.

I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, but I guess I got my point across.

OP, if you keep feeling sorry for yourself, nothing will change (for the better). Go get a dog, start parkouring, get into racing, DO SOMETHING. The longer you pity yourself the worse it'll get.

Well bro, you got me out of lurking.

If you want a simple way to slowly start improving your life: Find yourself one single activity you enjoy doing, that forces you out of your habits.
Also, which I find almost more important than what I just said, start meditating. Try mindfullnes meditation, and stick with it.
You can try the headspace app, if you can, go to lacunaloft, apply to 1 year of headspace free for the form.
You just need to fill in your issues, worked for me.

Just do it. Helped me a lot.

I've worked in mental healthy for about 20 years. I've never seen a happy ending with a cutter. The attention seekingu is an addiction and they stop at nothing to get it. Always upping the ante. I hate cutters. I view them as job security. That's all.

Sounds like you don't try to help them too much.

They don't accept help. They live to disrupt everything.

Start either Fluxotine or Paxil. The plus side to both is they're anti-anxiety and depression drugs so you can smoke a lot of weed is that's your thing with no side effects. Get out and hike more etc

You haven't done this tatoo for nothing. Don't bloody put an end to your life, tskw a new start FOR REAL, a fucking new chapter YOU have to write!

Awww, OP. :( If you're not trolling and just looking for click bait, I hope you get better. I'm on 4 different medicines round the clock to keep me feeling okay. I hope that you get on medicine if you're not already, and if you are considering switching brands. I have severe depression, anxiety, ptsd and add; just stayed taking medicine but have had issues since finding my dad dead at 6.

I know it can be tough but I hope you find some peace man, life is full of pain and emptiness but you are never suffering alone.

Kek'd
OP is confirmed faggot for sure

Are you truly so harsh to people with real issues?

You have the Semi-colon Tattoo and everything.

That's a fucking promise written on your skin OP, don't break it. Please.

tiny hole in arm for attention: not a real issue

I agree with the dog suggestion OP. Does wonders for veterans suffering from PTSD. It's hard not to look in those eyes and feel the love.

I absolutely promise you that if you ever decide to go through with it, you'll most likely fuck up, and you'll regret it right before you die, or fuck up.
I shot myself in the head when I was younger with my dads .22 pistol, The bullet went into my skin, tapped into my skull and curved around inside my skin, it stopped and didnt actually penetrate, but I was unconscious, woke up in the hospital, and I'm really fucking glad that shit didnt work
>22 weak
I'm happy as fuck nowadays, shit just gets better but you have to let it. Don't trust yourself with anything even inherently negative, not even negative music, until you can trust yourself again.

...

You are a sadomasochist. you want to self harm but can't. so to coax yourself past self-deprecation, you dissociate from life by watching those with the same problems harm themselves, sometimes fatally.

You want to die, you want it to be over, but can't. You're afraid....of something. And that's why you fetishize other's self-inflicted pain.

If you can't die, someone else has to, and they must do it for you by doing it to themselves.

You rever yourself as a god, suffering while alive, but knowing your fear holding you back makes you immortal.

In short, you fit the profile of a killer, and I relate.