Gimme your best

Gimme your best

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youtube.com/watch?v=IWmQEmqNoxg
twitter.com/AnonBabble

i visit Sup Forums

I'm OP

"Hi"

I think Ivanka Trump is sexy.

>Where do you want to eat? Can I recommend Arby's?
Bonus:
>So, how much do your ladyparts look like their sandwiches?

Shameless self bump

Wanna check out my bottle cap collection.

i masturbate

girls don't poop, right?

I have more candy in my van..... :)

i love you

I like to lick feet while i fuck on missionary position

Wanna see my Rattata collection?

Rape is such an ugly word. I prefer "snuggle struggle"

I haven't had a herpes flare-up in almost 6 months so it should be fine to go bareback when we fuck later

BY FIRE BE PURGED!

You don't decide whether or not we have a second date. You only get to decide which second date we have.

a) your body in basement, dead, and being necro-fucked

b) you sucking my dick all day wearing latex

In a cuckold so you should really enjoy this relationship

Me too m8!

What's the hardest part about microwaving a baby?

My dick

"Wanna' see my Prince Albert?"

I hope you aren't dismembered under mysterious circumstances like my last three girlfriends.

Hi

>never been on a first date

Die insect

"Oh, by the way, I'm really gay, my frat buddies just thought it would be a good thing for me to see what the other side is like"

pssh nothing personal kid

"She's your best friend, so I guess you probably already know I fucked her, right?"

"You'll have to pay for dinner, cuz like I was just laid off...again"

i had a really good time, want to see again?

soo, innie or outie?

ima need three fity first

"Don't worry, I'm not going to try and get in your pants on the first date...unless you're offering?"

"Hitler did nothing wrong"

This is my tumblr.

"That restaurant is too close to a school."

"THAT dude over there? Oh don't worry about him, he's just my ex-boyfriend. He just sort of follows me around sometimes."

>snuggle struggle

"Seriously though if Trump's daughter was my daughter i'de fuck her too."

The lannisters send their regards

"And this picture is of my baby girl, but she don't count, she's illegitimate"

I vape.

We know.

I am vegan

"I'm sorry for itching so much...must be the crabs again."

"This is actually our second date, but I guess you was too young to remember anything about it."

Please fart in my face!

I got da herps!

Twitty fuck the lasagna

"Think you should know upfront: I was born a woman."

"Can we assume we'very fulfilled the required formalities and skip to the sex?"

>aren't you too young ?

"Hey, here's dessert. That reminds me...what do you think about scat?"

"My doctor tells me I only got three months to live. I'm a virgin, so...how about it?"

I would like to watch you have sex with other men

"Check out the ass on that slut."
>point to youngest girl in room

Do you consent to my penis entering your vagina? I'm sorry but I'm a male feminist.

"I fucking hate feminists, but maybe they just need a good dicking to set them right."

>what do you think about euthanasia?
Unless, you know, you want to actually get to know her.

"Great, here's that fucking gay waiter again...Do you think he's flirting with me?"

"Lemme get that thing you piss with"

?????

a vagina. let me get at your vagina. it means sex. the guy wants to have sex with her.

Hey can I have your shoes?
I wear to god I won't cum in them.

"I usually eat dessert, but you probably trying to keep your figure, right?

this is my first date.

...

doesn't even make sense, women don't piss with that and it sounds strange

>my dick is small
>do you have nasty meat curtains?
However this is important info

Fuck my dick itches... You ever get that???

...I didnt make it up. youre trying way too hard right now.
its also pretty obvious what it was referring to, even if they dont technically pee out of the vagina. maybe take a sex ed class

youtube.com/watch?v=IWmQEmqNoxg

>have you seen how high I can put my leg up?

hi. does this rag smell like chloroform?

"I'm OP and I'm into traps and trannies"

I've had a girl say this to me...

>This controls the vibrating egg in my ass. Have fun with it.

haha

oh, thanks you, Sup Forums

worth tying

>"Man, I really needed to do some hoggin' tonight. Thanks for this."

Wanna catch a charizard?

Nowadays, that would work.

I can't tell you how many times I was hoping for this moment while watching you sleep.

Going off of real life:
>"I'm a 5th level half-elf sorcerer and I tortured a half elf chick to death. My dwarf-freind likes to hit people's hands off with his warhammer. Also, I will fuck almost anything alive."

you chicks store fat in your thighs for winter, dontcha?

>Have you ever licked a guy who tucked his penis into his ball sack and taped it shut?

Fuck shit *autistic moans* AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.....CUNT YOU KNOW IM GOING TO KILL YOU! *more autistic moans* *starts raping the waiter*

>You're not as good looking as your mom. You're pussy better tighter.

>"Hey, how about we get that waiter to go in a doggy bag and eat the rest after we have a good fuck in my mom's room? Don't worry, she just likes to watch."

I support Clinton

>"Have you gotten your period yet? If you have, you're too old for me,"

I once masturbated to "Bastard out of Carolina"

I once masturbated while I watched two dogs going at it. Surprised the hell out of the old ladies I was sitting next to on the bench.

Honestly, I'd pay to say donnie and ivanka trump fuck

>"You know, killing someone is easier than you think. Wanna try?"

did u know one time i put an electric toothbrush up my ass? it was a good one and i can never use it again because of all the shit in the bristles, but it was totally worth it.

i'm misogynist

ur joke fucking sucked