I'm at my gf's apartment and I missed the toilet. This is my first real gf and this is our 3rd date. She invited me back to her place after our date but the taco bell I had for breakfast and lunch was starting to get to me. I didn't want to accidentally shit in her bed while we were having sex so I thought it would be a good idea to use her toilet beforehand
Well, her toilet is lower than mine and in my rush to sit down a waterfall of shit came out of my ass before I could align myself correctly.
How do I get myself out of this? I don't want to die a virgin.
>Help!
>pic related >i need to find a way to clean this up without her knowing and fast
Benjamin Bailey
Lick it
Julian Lewis
ask her if she wants to share a late night snack in celebration of Hillary's speech?
Joshua Green
>nb4 people say wipe it up with toilet paper
Michael Reyes
wipe it with toilet roll and flush you fucking cretin.
Ayden Stewart
Use your hands idiot and then was them with soap after when you're done.
Soak up the leftover water with the toilet roll best you can.
Caleb Perez
Tell her to bring you another roll you sperglord
William Martinez
use your socks. then wash them and hide them?
Adrian Rodriguez
Did you not see this
Jonathan Carter
I was still typing when he posted the picture
Michael Gomez
just ask for more TP and use papertowels faggot
Kevin Allen
tissues socks hands water
Christopher Diaz
>Taco Bell for breakfast >And Lunch Man, I've had it for four square meals a day before (would not recommend) but never more than once before doing anything with a girl.
Jaxson Hughes
leave it, itll make for a good story to tell your fat kids in 15 years
Hudson Sanders
use your socks son and then wear her pink sock out. Ive been in situations like this but you should be good. maybe even some of her panties lying around as a reward for cleaning.
Landon Brooks
Wash your asshole good too!
Gavin Sanders
Ask her for another roll. If she's worth staying with she'll understand
Jordan Morgan
why has he been in the bathroom for 10 mins.. I think "she" knows
Austin Lee
You took a shit without checking the TP situation first?
What the fuck are you wiping your ass with? You expect to go out there and fuck her with your wet taco bell shit still up your anus?
You deserve whatever you get.
Liam Russell
This is the best thread of the night! Op get your head in the game man. Report back to use with nudes and what you did with the shit rag :LOL
Brody Foster
Rub her face in it, and tell her it's the only way you can get off anymore.
Liam Brown
Check under the sink. There should be more TP.
If not ask her for more. Totally reasonable request. Nothing suspicious considering you'd need it even if you hadn't missed the bowl.
Levi Sanchez
>>How do I get myself out of this? I don't want to die a virgin.
Brandon Morales
I used all the tp to wipe my ass before I realized I missed
Eli Adams
Did you look under the sink for more toilet paper? Get a fucking rag if you have to then throw it away, after this though make sure she licks your asshole.
Isaiah Sanchez
Why are you not fucking this bitch and talking to us about toilet paper and shit?????
Dominic Richardson
No cabinet under the sink. This is an old house. She must keep it in the closet about a yard from the bathroom.
William Bell
Wipe with your hand and wash your hands
Evan Smith
...
Liam Perry
this is why you don't sit to wipe you fucking retard.
Chase Wright
Yep
Matthew Jackson
how do you sit on the seat in that and not realize?
Anthony Scott
No! That will stain OP's hands with the smell of shit for hours and no amount of washing will make it go away!
Luis Robinson
Got the solution and you ignore it.
OP is a faggot.
Adrian Robinson
You don't.
I call bullshit.
I mean, of course it's bullshit, but still.
Leo Edwards
>t. poo-in-the-loo
It's called soap shitskin.
Jayden Carter
Let us know what happens .
Elijah Lee
Quite simple you fucking retard, get out of panic mode and go through this checklist
Jaxson Miller
Do this OP Yell for lady who knows your up to no good.
Brandon Murphy
I usually sit toward the edge of the toilet just far back enough for my asshole to be over the bowl. I didn't notice because it was all the way at the back and my ass didn't touch it.
Gavin Hernandez
Two words.
Filthy Sanchez.
Isaac Wood
only thing OP didnt lie about, was that he didnt wanna die a virgin.. truth is there is no gf, he is at his parents house and lonely
Caleb Jones
Soap doesn't completely get rid of the smell
>source >I used to finger my ass and pull shit out with my finger
Luke Howard
I'm wearing flipflops so I don't have any socks
Camden Morgan
A Haiku for OP Be a big big man Wipe the doo-doo with your hand Girl will understand
Brandon Peterson
Thought i was the only one.
Brandon Jackson
>What the fuck
Jonathan Collins
Fucking kek nice user!
Nicholas Kelly
Unless she's a filthy pig there should be something you can use as a cleaner - lysol, soap, etc. Use your boxers as a rag, rinse them out in the sink or shower and put them back on or in your pocket.
John Martinez
Lick it up like a real man you piece of shit
Noah Russell
This is true My dubs can confirm
Landon Sanders
Next time you shake a hand this thread will be a reminder what cressid, nasty, cringy shit goes on behind a bathroom.
Nathan Lopez
How fucking common is it for people to pull shit out of their ass with their hands?
Gabriel Rodriguez
Use the nearest washcloth then toss it out the window
Joseph Edwards
BBump because I'm worried about OP
Oliver Perry
I'm cheering for you op. Fucking use your socks they should flush down. My tube sock sure did
Brody Richardson
Ultimate solution!
Brody Reed
I'm wearing flipflops so I have no socks. Also, there arn't any towels in here except the one on the rack to dry your hands with after you wash them.
Dominic Foster
Tfw Op solved his problem like 10 min ago and we're sitting here like sweatbeards and he's banging his girl
Ryder Perez
Nope, still in the bathroom...
Josiah Bell
God damn it op who the fuck wears flip flops to a date. No wonder you still a virgin.
Grayson Johnson
This thread is lame. this bitch is not real. She would have asked about you. So many have taken bait.
If this is real op take photo of you peaking out the door
Benjamin Brown
She probably knows you're taking a shit by now you dipshit. Just ask for a roll.
If you won't, dubs say you will have to use her tooth brush to take it all off and wash it at the sink.
Jaxon Taylor
go to the kitchen and grab the paper towels. if she finds the poopy mess, explain your situation. if she doesn't accept that you are attempting to clean it up on your own, then she isn't worth the pussy.
seriously, what are you twelve?
Xavier Howard
>Samefagging this hard
Jace Robinson
magnificent
Jackson Davis
Alright, I think this should be good enough. She has knocked to check on me twice though.
Andrew Lopez
Just tell her what happened. are you just sitting on Sup Forums in her bathroom?
Kayden Ward
The fuck did you use?
Isaiah Gomez
>that mini shit stain
Isaiah Brooks
use the cardboard toilet roll. dont flush it when youre done though itll clog the toilet
Luke Fisher
WHAT THE FUCK OP DID YOU LICK THAT SHIT OFF THE TOILET?
Nathan Adams
Holy fucking shit, Op you could have been pounding that poor girls pussy by now but no you are still trying to deal with this shit. Even after tons of people gave you suggestions, you are going to have to decide one way or another. You may as well start jacking off in the bathroom and get it over with.
Lincoln Nelson
dude rub one real quick on the lid bro you'll last longer.
Cameron Morgan
Sorry to laugh at you op but this is fucking gold
Eli Morris
Gg OP. What'd you say?
Mason Allen
Use your hands, and then wash 'em well. It's your shit man, be a man and clean it!
Blake Anderson
You have socks don't you?
Xavier Green
leave the seat down
Brody Rodriguez
Nope, I'm wearing flipflops
Adrian Kelly
how the fuck is someone so committed to a website that they think to post in a situation like this?
David Myers
Disgusting piece of shit. Must be fucking a fugly cow.
Joshua Carter
Wipe it up you fool.
Owen Cruz
Autism is a hell of a drug
Zachary Jones
op been on the shitter for 35 minutes no lay for him
Lucas King
>are you new?
Daniel White
This
Make sure she has soap
Easton Moore
not even one timestamp, cmon
Ayden Campbell
I was in the bathroom. What the fuck do you expect me to write on/with?
Easton Campbell
Go get pussy OP. Let the thread do itself and cont tomorrow
Kayden Gray
Then do it now faggot
Grayson Morgan
time stamp written in the poo u idiot
Parker Gray
Already sitting in the living room with gf. Can't do it now.
Carson Jackson
couldve wrote in the shit faggot, thats what I wouldve done
Ayden Lee
take gf pics and deliver don't be a faggot OP
Jace Flores
> this
Oliver Flores
>How many faggots does it take to clean a shit stain? >about 45 replying almost 100 times