Feels thread

Feels thread.

Are you alone this summer user?

I don't know, I got a girlfriend recently but somehow I'm still completely numb all day.

Spend a lot of time on
/r9k/ and you will realize everyone there is just as lonely as you are. The thing is, I can honestly say I'm probably like a 6.8/10 but there has only been one girl who was ever interested in me. She was ugly as hell and a horrible person though so it didn't work.

>be me
>early 2012
>17, go to high school, young and free, like freestyling and smoking doobys, your normal fun loving sorta guy
>met this girl about half a year earlier at a friends christmas party whilst his parents were away, it was a big lan party with alot of games, girls, drinks and sheannigans, and this chick showed up with a kid, she was only a year older than me (18 almost 19)
>kid eventually left with dad and she was being bitchy as to everyone, i was being an asshole back because i like to talk shit for a laugh
>funny conversations but nothing past that
>anyway she added me on facebook all this time (6 months) later
>remember her and her only year old son, message her asking how things are etc (baring in mind i know nothing much about her)
>end up talking quite alot, she even bought me a phone top up so i could text her one time i remember that
>she had her own place since government benefit for having a child, i used to visit alot after we started talking
>cutting the bullshit she ended up taking my virginity and we fell in love
>real love though, babys dad didnt wanna know much so i took up step daddy roll
>ended up stopping hanging with my friends all the time, was always with gf
>pretty muched lived with her for a year or 2, the love felt so real
>had our arguments but i was young and thought all these unhealthy factors of a relationship were normal and worked past them
>forgot to mention at the time gfs mum was dying of cancer, she eventually passed away and i even carried her coffin at the funeral because i was considered a close family member
>im drunk and cbf typing more but pretty much in the end she ended up cheating on me with my "best friend"
>they played it down like it wasnt anything and then my gf ends up losing it whilst theyre trying to play it off
>i never felt so low in my life, this was when i was about 19/a few months away from 20
>her dad still talks to me, i miss him and i know he misses me and wish i was still around

posted in my thread but no one cared so thought id try here sorry, i just feel like i need to talk about it

Jesus Christ

I love feels thread for an abundance of reasons

when im super happy it brings me back down to earth and i realize these good times arent forever and i need to make the best of them which is a great thing

on the other hand when im feeling down i realize im not the only one whose got a rough break in this amazing and destructful world and that i can bring myself back up just by talking about it with a bunch of fucked bros on the internet

this danger swig is for you, b

indeed, theres more to the story but im pretty drunk, feel free to ask me questions bruv

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks fam, dont even try worry about it.

cheers man, i just always find myself looking back to what couldve been if i didnt waste my time you know, the girls, the times i couldve had with friends, but looking back it wasnt wasted time, even though her family thought i was a piece of shit because i ended up a factory worker (when i got out of highschool anyway - i ended up with a diploma in IT and after a few years of work after that im doing a bachelors in softare engineering -- after breaking up) im excited for my future because i truly feel no girl will hold me down, which from what i see is what fucks over most males, holding them back from making the most of there potential

/flex

software engineering* sorry as i said, had a few drinks

My friends stopped contacting me, any try calling or coming over ends with them not responding or not being at home.

Sometimes i see them online but for a very short time in which i cant get a conversation is. They rub off things very fast in those conversations and then are just offline.
My mother i occassionaly visit has a new boyfriend and i cant spend much time with her other than the usual "how ´s it going in your life".

I started taking lorazepam meds to dull myself and got through the day, many things are uninteresting, talking to people outside is a small joy i have and its very easy and relaxing doing so but also exhausting if overdone.
The last few days i had thoughts about suiciding mixed with hurting other people, killing them, the thoughts were very confident and the scenarios played in the head very thought through and cowardly, because its always me sneaking up from behind, getting someone unprepared or weak.

I tried calling a center i introduced myself to and explained my problems and thoughts but was dismissed because it doesnt seem that im psychotic or dangerous. My country handles mental sickness very poorly or just gives you meds that turn you grey so you can keep on going.

I dont know where to go right now, i sometimes think of just packaging my things and drive away. Im not really hurt, i just have no goal other than sticking with my meds right now, going through each day but for what reason.

that pictures from a train station in NSW looking north. lights are on so its after 6pm, so it can't be a station close to the mountains. my vote is wolli creek.

I wasn't alone but I am now.

I met her a few years ago and we hit it off instantly. Became super close super quickly. Eventually started dating briefly, but I ended up moving to the other side of the planet so we split.

I guess we both thought that would be that, but we kept talking despite the distance and time difference and our feelings kept growing. I feel in love with her, she fell in love with me. We admitted our feelings to each other. Because of the distance, we decided that we wouldn't get into a relationship, we would just be upfront with each other about our feelings for each other until we could meet up in person and then we'd properly discuss it (we were meant to meet up next summer). We stressed that we were both allowed to see other people in a casual manner.

About a month ago, I kissed an old fling of mine. She didn't take this well, she flipped and ignored me and blocked me, even though I hadn't broken any rules. Eventually I was able to get through to her after she had calmed down. We agreed to try again and for the first day it was great but then she would just disappear and stop talking to me. I questioned her and we had a big conversation about us and how she didn't want to talk to me anymore, but then she would just agree to talk to me again. It would go really well again for a couple days, then she would disappear again. She wouldn't return my messages or anything.

I've been doing everything I can to fix us because I honestly think it can be fixed, but she just constantly brings up the distance and how she doesn't think it'll work out.

I feel like she's subconsciously blocking herself off from me. I feel like she's kicked me to the curb and broken my heart in a selfish attempt to stop herself from hurting if we don't work out in the future (I fully believe we will work out, that's why I'm pushing this so hard). I feel like when I'm gone, eventually she'll realise how much I meant to her. I don't know what to do. I'm lost and heartbroken

in this new world of constant communication, i feel although long distance relationships are trialed they never end up for the better, youre a valuable person bro, dont ever feel worthless

I've started drinking to forget about life's troubles in general after successfully, if you can call it that, drinking to forget about her.
It's certainly not the solution, but it helps in the short-term, at least.
Chase a little happiness in your life, anons. It helps to remind you what you're living for.

I don't feel worthless, aside from her I'm happy and I'm happy with myself and who I am. I've had problems with depression and anxiety in the past but they're all gone now.

But I really fucking love this girl, I really fucking want her. I feel like we could've done it. If anyone could've done it it would've been us. I feel like there's still a chance and it's eating away at me.

but do you love her or do you love the idea of her? dangerous territory

I love her.

She's beautiful and kind and funny and I can talk to her for hours and hours and hours and hours without ever getting bored. We were both willing to save and spend tons of money to be with each other. I miss talking to her like crazy.

Hey user. It'll be ok. Go have a soda buddy.

godspeed, user

...

I know the feels, my man. The only thing I took comfort in was the fact that I'd done all I could, and that she wasn't gone for my lack of trying.
I wish you all the best, I hope she does open up to you again, but at the same time it takes two people for a relationship and you can wear yourself out trying to make it work on your own.

>gf ends long serious relationship
>miss her dad
Wut

lol just family ties brah, like when i stopped seeing my gf/xgf/girl i kind of have to cut off my ties to her family too, which was hard because we got along really well

If by alone you mean not having a gf, then yeah.

But its better that way. I live by bros before hoes, even though i know the majority of my friends would ditch me just to get their dick wet.

A gf is just a friend that you fuck thats more uninteresting than your bros.

...

...

>this summer
>implying I'm not alone any other time

>She was ugly as hell and a horrible person though so it didn't work.
She broke up with you because you don't have good hygiene user

I would rather be alone than have to go thru another cycle of meeting a great person falling in love and geting cheated on.Hell really the only thing that gets better is how good the others lie.

the story of my life:
>Born 87
>son of a librarian
>parents divorced when I was 6
>moved away from my - very few - youth friends
>can't connect to people in new school
>develop communication issues
>being a bully and pushy asshole
>karma turns around, I become the victim
>too stupid to understand why back then
>end up in therapy when I was 14
>learn social skills
>find friends
>life gets better for a few years
>lose virginity during a festival '04
>best year in my life so far, relationship ends eventually
>graduate and find a traineeship for awesome pay in a quite well known firm
>oversleep the first day
>get kicked out
>develop depressions
>following years spend by moving from city to city, failing one traineeship after another
>finally arrive in current city in '08
>first year goes awesome.
>Make friends, live in the house of my uncle
>depression kicks in again
>fail 2nd year
>drop out
>attempt to finish traineeship in another firm
>fail miserably
>uncle kicks me out cause our agreement was rent-free living as long as I do my traineeship. No hate, he's a awesome person but doesn't have much as well.
>moving into new flat in '10
>no perspective
>no motivation
>go on social wellfare
>bunker down behind PC
>don't even bring out garbage anymore
>live off of pizza-delivery
>become 200kg load of lard
>cont

>a gf is just a friend that you fuck thats more uninteresting than your bros
Clearly you've never met someone worthwhile, or you have issues connecting with people. The wording of that sentence makes me think it's the latter.

>meet girl online
>has social anxiety
>about to fail her master degree
>both play Gw2
>long_distance_relationship.fuck
>spend next 5 years to escape reality together
>meet literally once. Mediocre. She doubts everything on a emotional level. Typical reason for not sticking it into crazy.
>FF to '14
>landlord gets wind of my messy flat. Literally. Neighbors complain about the smell
>landlord wants to kick me out. Talk him into mercy under the condition to pay for complete renovation and making therapy (best decission in my life)
>therapy works well
>start to go out more, just for walks in the beginning, later for bicycling
>feel better, can breath like normal again
>go to the gym
>do 3 months of stationary therapy
>come out
>feel powerful
>wanna fix my life to support me and gf 200 miles away...
>6 months later, she gets worse
>I constantly try to talk her into therapy cause it worked so well for me
>Don't recognize the pressure I build on her
>She stops talking with me
>While skyping, she's most of the time mute and barely speaks a word
>Stop playing gw2 together eventually
>she finds a new guy to play with
>he's as depressive as I were
>falls in love with him
>wants to escape reality with him
>actually makes the effort to visit him and cheats on me
>my ego is crushed again
>no perspective
>tried to accomplish all this for her
>learn the hard way that motivation must come from within yourself and for yourself
>still chugging on that lesson
>have a hard time to keep up the positive routine I had build before
>still loosing weight
>still having my - regained - social contacts
>still having social workers to come and visit
>don't even want to be back with her
>feel empty and dead
>Today.

if anyone was in the other thread whose post number was

this was my response

continued

>she keeps trying to talk to me for a while after we split, personally i just felt like id been born again as weird as that sounds and i had to find my place in life/at least where i lived
>end up hooking back up with all old "clique"/crew, start drinking alot again and get hook ups
>spend about a year just getting embarrassingly fucked up, making a fool of myself being absolutely off my block whilst working at a factory
>end up being friends again after about a year because i know deep down she and my mate are good people, although i dont hang out with them much at all
>start getting back out there

and buddy heres the revenge

>about 2 years after break up, start working in construction and get pretty built
>end up drinking with my xgf and her work friends one weekend, make some connections
>sleep with every girl she works with in a restaurant

fast forward another year or so and although even though i went through all that, i made alot more mistakes, but i feel like im living a good life, i love you all the bros that read this drunken mess of a story, god speed to you all

It happens fam. I miss my exs dad. My dad never wanted anything to do with me but he was cool.

right? like i love my dad, but my xgfs dad i felt like i could just be a loose cunt with, its like a best friend thats 20 years older than you (when you really connect)

>alone
fuck off faggot

Dude worked construction. Used to take me out with him and let my drive and work bobcats and shit. He's literally the only thing I miss. Still talk to him every now and then if I see him.

>A gf is just a friend that you fuck thats more uninteresting than your bros.

This is what I used to tell myself when I didn't have a gf. I thought I'd get sick of them or they'd get sick of me or I'd have to put up with a bunch of annoying shit, but it's not like that at all. They are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I wouldn't trade the feeling I get with them for anything.

this guy gets it

I'm always alone. What kind of fucking stupid question is that? This summer? Nah faggot. Try 24 years of being alone.

That's what these threads are about though bro, such a transcendent feeling and it gets taken away so quickly leaving you in an uncomfortable situation which happens more than you would probably like to think about, leaving you and you alone to build up your self worth, i feel although we have this low key sex war going on at the moment we need a place for men to express there feelings and acknowledge who and what they are, revealing to themselves what they want to be

I end it today.
Good bye.

please dont

why die for her?

If you are going to off yourself just do some crazy shit in your life.

I felt suicidal because of a failed relationship. I got diagnosed with major depression and bipolar disorder.

I was going to hang myself but I read a post from here.

It said if you have nothing to live for then just live.

If you want to die fuck it do some wild dangerous shit become a drug dealer, climb a mountain, kill a gang, join the army, hunt ISIS, travel, write a shitty book full of sad poetry and thoughts.

Fuck everybody else you were born alone and you'll have to die alone you need to accept that.
I know I have

stay eat some cake with me first Sup Forumsro
you attentionwhoring drama queen ;)

Don't do it user, you have to keep living , not to be happy but to make other's people life miserable just like ours, if we aren't happy no ones deserve to be.

you got me ;)

don't worry, won't off myself.
Wouldn't even suprise me if I were the one originally giving you that advice.
Sounds like something I might have posted in the past.

that's the spirit.

thx for the bumps, felt like this thread was dying.

Fucking this.
Any potential repercussions can be answered with "lol doesn't matter, I'll be dead", so just get ridiculous and ride that train as far as you can.

one thing I have to admit tho, loneliness is not good for my mental health.
Luckily i meet some friends in a few minutes, so I hope this will get my mind on other things, at least for some hours.

and with that trips I leave you.
Have fun.

Loneliness is probably the biggest cause of suicide apart from love. Nice trips as well

>but at the same time it takes two people for a relationship and you can wear yourself out trying to make it work on your own.
I hope she opens up to me too man. I know I meant so much to her. I know I did.

But yeah, you're right. I've been working at it for just around a month now. Nonstop thinking about her and how to fix this so I can be with her like I'm meant to be. I keep making progress then she just shuts me down again and it's right back to square one. I've hit my limit for now. I've gotten frustrated. I vented my frustration and deleted the app we use to speak. I'm hurt but I need to work on myself. I want her back and I'm always going to want her back because I love her but it's time for her to take the next step.

>It said if you have nothing to live for then just live.
but what if life just means suffering for you?
I mean like maybe it's a pain that's getting worse day by day
and you can't really explain nor do you know where it's coming from
it looks like the best thing to do for someone like that

just like you put down a dog because you love him and don't want him to die slow in pain
or something like that I'm not in that position

>you got me ;)
nice, I'm not really in the mood for cake anyway

yea thanks I'll be having a blast

As lonely as ever. I thought this summer would be different, had high hopes. Never again.

i'm pretty lonely. Still live w/ my parents, so it kinda helps, but i hate everyone in my family.
I text some of my friends every now and then, but no one invites me @ parties anymore 'cuz i'm an absolute mess when i'm drunk.
Overall i could be better, but i could be worse

...

Name of that comic?

...

dude.. you miss having a family. Relax you ll be fine as u r not a stupid nigger.

Does anyone have the colored version?

Yeah, what's the fucking name?

Anybody with an ed here?

Not really, just really fat.

What's your cw user

Yes. How many years has it been now since college? No family, and everyone had left my life, pursuing their career and living their normal lives - married, kids, well-paying job. Yet here I am, a 28 years old man, with a dead end job at a company struggling to stay open, absolutely zero social activities other than talking to my colleagues about work.

Wake, wash, work, internet, anime, sleep, repeat. 7 years like this, I don't even know where I'm heading anymore.

200 and something lbs (like 100 and something kg). My height is 5'7"

That's not so bad my man. 5' 10" 165 lbs. Sometimes I watch my 600 pound life to make me feel better about my fat self

Actually, you're pretty good! Sometimes I eat out of pure boredom, but then I start feeling pretty fucking bad (usually it's in the night, since I'm a fucking night owl). Other times I go days without eating practically anything.

>be me
>this year
>working at car dealership in my hometown for summer
> near end of summer meet girl I liked in high school at my work.
>start talking to her a lot
>fall for her harder than a 400lb user falling back down the stairs to his parents basement.
>talking to her one day and she tells me she's moving away for uni in about a week
>ask her out spontaneously.
>she tells me she likes me and had feelings for me since high school too.
>doesn't want to date me because i'm moving too.
>try to just be friends with her.
>end up falling even harder.
>can't keep going with this. it kills me talking to her knowing there's something there, but not being able to do anything about it....
>please help Sup Forums

Thanks (: gum and coffee are your best friends when it comes to fasting. Like
, she makes me eat every day in front of her. I know I should be grateful for having someone so supportive and perfect, but I just feel like it's "numb love" if that makes sense. Do you have a significant other,
?

How far apart are we talking, user

Got engaged, feels good.

10 hour drive each way.

I do, my dear tovarishch. But I don't tell anyone when I decide to fast. I don't like coffe, sorry. What I do is that I eat something really small only to stop the hunger pain (not water, that actually makes me feel worse, gives me a lot of headaches and such). But I think that you should exercise, it kinda helps. I do a lot of shadowboxing, do you practice something?

. also, dubs checked.

...

Ahh. I'm an actor at my community college. Usually supporting role but one time I got lead in a play. What's your job, user?

I'm a medstudent, but I think I might join the navy or the army this year. That way if I ever feel like killing myself, it will be nice and easy. After I finish college most likely I'll become a neurosurgeon.

Did you talk to her about long distance? Can you skype her ? And what's your dating personality? (Jealous, cuck, insecure, etc..)

Damn. Meant

That's pretty cool, navy is pretty badass

>Be me

A little bit, acting sounds interesting, tho.

trying to talk to her about Skype. she's not into long distance relationships. I'm honest loyal and fun loving and like to make jokes. used to have horrible anxiety depression and mild psychotic behavior but she knows all that about me and she accepts me for it which is why I keep falling for her everytime I try to get away. dude please tell me your going somewhere with all this.

I'm alone but not. I have a girlfriend but we're starting to grow apart. We started dating a year and 8 months ago..Tomorrow is our 1 year and 8 month anniversary actually. But we've started to talk less and she starts ignoring me. I have a feeling she might be cheating on me. We hang out and stuff but after it she like..ignores me. Am I being cheated on anons? Probably right?

user, have you asked yourself why you get attached so easily? I have mommy issues (yeah, it's retarted but she abused the fuck out of me and all that) and I get attached too easily. Literally within days
Very. I get a lot of girls cause of it but like most actors I wanna fucking die

Don't 404 on me damnit

I find it astonishing that i come to feels threads to laugh, YLYL threads to get angry, and rage threads to feel bad about the reality of things.

that's the thing man I don't normally get attached to people this easily it's never taken me more than a few days to get over someone. I've tried not talking to her for a few days even started talking to another girl and ignoring her. she just got under my skin man and I can't get her out of my head. I had good parents had decent luck with girls and lots of friends. what should I do helpful user?

don't you 404 on me!

First things first, user. How did you meet? Did she brush you off at first? How bad have you fought for her?

Why aren't I happy Sup Forums? I have pretty much everything most people would kill for and I still feel like a fucking loser. I just don't know anymore.

>pic severely related.

Well, I'm not an actor and I want to kill myself as well, most of the time at least.

like I said we met in high school and she never brushed me off we had a few classes together we sat near each other and chatted when we werent working but we never really talked past that until this summer when I helped fix her car. she started flirting with me after it was out of the shop and we started talking as friends from there.

Its probably because you dont know what you actually want and have been living a lie that you believed to be true, that lie being that what you want is what everyone else wants for you. So, in achieving what you believed to be what you wanted, it actually wasnt, and as a result, you feel empty inside, like a loser. Go meditate fag.

Here's some brutal truth, if she isn't willing to fight for you (i.e., put up with long distance and occasional visits) like you would, then in the long run,things will get sour and suck later on. Take some time to think, about your future with her and (you obviously do) if she loves you enough to spend a lifetime with.

thanks user. I needed that. I'll take some time and really focus on why she won't fight for me and talk to her about it. feels thread for the win.

this

bro,

this is heavy shit. I feel for you. We're in a similar boat.

What's good is that you're able to rationally analyze what's happenning. You might be right, it does sound like something a person might do when they're insecure.

I'm not gonna tell you what to do. You have to look in your heart for that. But if you think it's worth it, fight. Hard. Put up with her shit. If, at some point, you feel like you're losing that passion you have and it starts feeling meaningless, reevaluate.

Until then, don't let her insecurity defeat what might be the real deal. I believe in you, brother.