How do i kill someone without getting caught?

how do i kill someone without getting caught?

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OD them on drugs in their sleep

Join the Clinton inner circle.

step #1: don't post on internet asking how to kill people

In the back of a rented truck paid for by someone else with cash.

lol I honestly want to hear how you think this shit would work

youtube.com/watch?v=9DAHM75MKfk

Kill yourself afterwards. They can't catch you if you're dead

A real expensive lawyer

^ This.

Yellow stone national park
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Killing is irrelevant. The true key to not getting caught is body disposal.
An easy method would be deep freeze-wood chipper-several oceans. But I'm sure you could think of others. One of them involves bacon. You're really only limited by your own imagination here. Think big op.

>darknet gun
>get an alibi
>spray up nigger
>run like fuck
>dismantle gun
>find random rural places to dump pieces
>donate clothes used

youtube.com/watch?v=kBvCPTK1MmY

Take them into international waters. Kill them there. Dump body there. Leave no witnesses. Return to shore one person less than when you left.

> become police officer

At night & dont let anyone see u

be a ghost

leave no body and no witnesses behind

/thread

Wait until July 4th weekend. Aquire a stolen or throwaway pistol. Gun them down. Dis card weapon accordingly.

No one will report the sounds of gunshots with so many fireworks going off in residential areas. Also, your hands testing positive for powder could get thrown out of court by public defender-tire council.

OP you can't even post in a thread without breaking the rules here.

You would get caught no matter what.

Dubs knows

>method
solid logic

Cook and eat the corpse.

Kek'd

That's another.
Now if you guess the one I've got about the dead dog I know someone's been reading my dairy. ;^)

just make a slamfire shotty from materials from 4 different stores pay in cash and spread out purchases

if you live long enough you'll eventually get caught though. future brain scan tech will make sure of that

>Purchase a legal handgun (get concealed carry permit)
>Frequent local gun range (go weekly, same time, same day)
>Acquire a rifle illegally (Darknet, steal one, buy it from an undisclosed source)
>Do not handle the rifle without gloves, do not handle the ammunition without gloves, do not buy ammunition with a credit card, do not buy the ammo in a city near you, travel a few hours to get it.
>Learn the habits of your target, particularly on gun range day
>Kill the target, from a distance, on gun range day
>Don't forget your brass
>Destroy/dispose of the rifle and brass as well as left over ammunition and gloves.
>Keep going to the gun range weekly to maintain cover.
>???
>Profit?

Killing somone nobody miss.

Whatever you do, don't kill anyone. Just make them disappear.

With difficulty.

If you want to kill someone, which is an extreme action to take, police will first look for a motive behind the killing, which would likely point the finger at you. You'd inevitably leave forensic data because you're fucking stupid enough to ask this on a publicly available, popular image board that reportedly regularly attracts federal interests.

In brief, be a random killing. Ideally on someone who has no connections to society so won't be investigated.

Dont kill anyone though, you selfish bastard.

In regard to body disposal, how possible is a bonefire? Burn flesh and just grind the left over bones. Maybe add the powder to a cake mix and donate to your closest elderly neighbour or charity bake sale. Either way, it won't be powder when it comes out the other end.

Easy, send them to Africa with no explanation.

> Stab in full view of large crowd
> Chase ensues, free-run to top of church spire
> Leap of faith into large stack of hay on ground
> Wait for heat to subside
> Leave stack of hay
> Blend in

.22 cal zipgun from bike pump. Quiet and easy.

You're right about brainscan tech though. I can imagine though that once that tech becomes the standard, it will only be admissible in trials were the crime happened after the deployment of said tech. Too much possibly for corruption/malfeasance.

Do it between 3 and 4 am, it's statistically speaking the time of day with the least chance of getting caught because It has the best combination of

1. Most people asleep, even late night people go to bad at that time

2. Post people and commerce people and shit who need to work from 4 or 5 onwards to take in wares for the day and shit are not awake yet

3. Low light levels

4. Lowest frequency of passerbys for the above and other reasons

However you do it, try to not leave even an indication for the cops where to search for the crime scene. If there is no obvious crime scene and it's not in a place they would suspect and look for a hidden one, noone is ever going to know.

If you can't avoid leaving traces, prepare yourself.
Wear latex gloves.
Wear a hair net.
Cut your fingernails.
Get clothing with weaved in kevlar.
Leave no openings in your clothing.
Wear a mouth mask if possible.
Wear protective glasses.
Put your Pants into your Shoes.
Don't use shoes with even the least ammount of dirt that could tell them where you live, work or hid the body, they can even use that and find out via decomposed plant matter and the earth composition where the damn dirt is from.
Wear eye color changing contact lenses.
Wear a wig over your real hair.

If you want to be really really really sure they can't get you, leave fake traces. A bit of random destruction and talentful distortion of your suroundings makes it impossible to reconstruct what happened.
Get a random nuber generator and work out a way to choose random cities in a 4 hour radius around a city 2 hours away from you. There you try and collect random dna samples. Thrown out blood from hospitals and the likes. Cigaret butts. Fingernails from nail studios. Hair from hairstilysts. Maybe even salvia if you find a way to get it.
Fuck up the crime scene with such an obscene amount of dna samples that they have no hope of analysing them and finding the real ones. Write occult shit everywhere with blood

Works 10/10 times.

As if anyone is EVER going to find out. Even if someone records this and his identity, there is just no way in hell this info is going from the NSA or equivalent to some rural 90 IQ county chief.

Actually a few of the mods owe me some favors, but you are correct in that this thread is not good enough--or frankly real enough--for me to call in those favors.

It's more about the victim than it is the killing and diposal.

make sure the killing isn't done in the area the victim lives or where you live and don't dispose of them there

Also logically think of things that you would do that others wouldn't when killing the victim. Make sure not to do that thing as it gives the authorities a leverage.

You also need a really good alibi and need to make sure that anyone who regularly sees the victim or is in contact with them is led to falsely believe that the victim isn't going to be around so make up excuse such as holiday, running away, etc.

It also helps if you aren't as connected to victim or that you don't know the victim. Make sure you don't leave any evidence and dispose of body in international waters. There are other things to keep in mind but that's just some of what I can think of for now.

As for body disposal, get a rain barrel large enaugh for the body. Buy cement/concrete for "home improvement". Put body in. Fill with cement/conrete. Find map of everything you can reach within 6 hours. Take a random generator or something to pick a random location neither you nor your victim have ever been to. Find nearest lake or big river. Scout out location to dump unseen. Dump.

Noone is ever going to find out. To make really really sure, dump into ocean.

Where I am from, the landscape is littered with little public lakes left over from quarrying and mining sand for river quarz. Something like that. Noone is ever going to search there, especially if you can cover your traces because people like to BBQ there or some shit.
4 meters deep in one of one thousand muddy ponds? Noone will ever find out. Just make sure to really secure the top so it doesn't come off

>Appeal to authority
>Muh last real knight on Sup Forums *tips fedora*

Fuck off mate, really

Get a job as part of a tree removal service. Then wait 1-2 years until your coworkers trust you. Wait for a tree job on the day of Halloween. Make sure the house the job is at is having a costume party. Then, invite the person you want to kill over to the party. Tell him to meed you at the tree shredder. Then when nobody is looking, shove that meatsack in there. Then, enjoy the party and your new costume

File inside of rifle shoot person from distance during daily rutine do the same to 2 other random people making it look like a seriel killer spree. Melt down rifle in furnace.

Poison them throw them in water recycling plant first cleaning phase. Water is so dense nothing can emerge from there ever, and they never ever clean it. Body will be lost forever or until it closes and if it closes all evidence is gone because of the bacteria eating everything in there.

But never shoot someone you know they will always look for motives and you will pop up. Unless you wait 5-10 years and your out of their life then they wont.

Don't piss me off faggot, srsly
I wouldn't want to waste that power on some pleb like you

'easy method'
deep freeze a whole body, buy a woodchipper, buy a boat to use woodchipper on ,go to several oceans in said woodchipper-ladened boat, along with deep freezer with body in, proceed

Easy. Gloves. Gun off the street, (associate with niggers) Wear mask, dark clothing, late at night. Learn your victims habits first. (Stalk him) but dont get caught by them, because if they report you for stalking, and they're dead, you will be prime suspect.

that's actually rather involved
I was hoping for a 2 or 3 step process that doesn't involve travel.

You're thinking too big.
>Fuckton of liquid nitrogen
>wood chipper
>put meaty bits in a cooler
>take a cruise or two
>illegal dumping.
No one would ever know

yeah i was taking the piss out of who said easy method

Wait for the ultimate hitman, time, to do it for you

honestly just do what dexter does

>Get gun
>wait like 3 years
>report gun stolen
>wait a week/month
>tell family you're going out of town
>rent hotel pay cash near the outskirts of town
>shoot person
>stay at hotel, don't go outside for days
>dispose of gun in car or something, stage it as a break in, shatter windscreen leave door open engine running etc.

>come back home
Should be good

Ugh you're no fun.
>kill vic, your choice of method
>kill a large dog, your choice of method
>dig a 12 foot hole, doesn't matter where
>bury your victim
>fill in 6ft of dirt
>bury dog
>continue filling in hole
>leave no trace evidence (obviously)
>don't link yourself to victim in anyway and you'll be fine

i mean "future brain scan tech" sounds preposterous but who fucking knows at this point.

thousands of dudes who thought they had gotten away scot-free with rapes and murders only to get busted decades later with DNA evidence and technology that they had no idea they would even exist.

delivered

Next you are going to post the navy seals copy pasta. Does it give you the kicks to be some unimportant janitor or are just that much of an edgelord.

Have fun getting caught then? There just simply is no way to kill someone in this day and age and expect noone to find out. The only people you would get away with killing without leaving traces are not worth killing unless you are some street thug.

All that of course is moot because you are just some little retard who likes to let his murder fanaties run wild to compensate for your perceived impotence over your surroundings.

It depends on how you want to kill that person and if you know that person

>being this much of a baited beta 15 year old faggot

...

He's anonymous, dumb fuck.

its alright as long as he wore gloves to type so they can't get his prints, hope he's on incognito too

please don't ever kill someone, you're an idiot.

why would you go through all that hassle to "dispose of the gun?" just drop it in the fucking river.

as soon as your "stolen" gun is linked to a murder, you are the #1 suspect, doesn't matter if you reported it stolen or not. not to mention you were conveniently "out of town" that weekend. jesus christ.

Set up rocket with thin wire attached to it that travels to his or her possition. Wait for lighting storm. When subject walks out under wire. Set off rocket carring wire to the clouds. Wait for lighting to take away subject.
Wire and tocket vaporized no trace.

stfu

>>how do i kill someone without getting caught?

don't ask the internet for one.

Donate money to syrian refugees to board ships to Europe. Every time you do this there is a statistical likelihood that someone dies in transit. You might even take a tax deduction in the process.

Also, as a bonus, you get points for anyone they might murder after arrival.

yeah, it will be some really subtle screening process
like you go to get your id card renewed and they have a questionnaire that asks you a few questions while you are wearing a virtual reality helmet or something
one question is, "have you ever killed someone or committed a murder?"
when you answer, an indicator goes off and boom, they start investigating you deeper and deeper until they know who you killed, how you did it and everything
ordinary citizens will vote for this

Build catapult
Load such device with some sort of explosive/glass stuff that explodes with minimal traces
Fire such device from a safe unseen area, ect on top of a building, your backyards, somewhere in the forest


post results

Kill yourself afterwards

Step 1: Kill someone
Step 2: Don't get caught
Step 3: ????
Step 4: Profit

Join CIA or FBI

Easy, kill yourself. You'll never get caught.

Are you going to stuff body parts in your carry-on? Fucking think you moron.

Join the police force