ITT we are hostages

ITT we are hostages.

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youtube.com/watch?v=ye8KvYKn9-0&list=PL15CF40F22ABFB664
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Psst. I have a gun in my ankle, distract the guy and I'll do my thang

Stockholm Syndrome.

>H-hey there terrorist-senpai...

i need to drop some turds wat do

We've got a big ol M A G N U M D O N G over here, mind if you give it a lick?

take the the women and niggers let the men and kids live I beg you

Where did that come from ?

>L-l-et the others go first... I'll stay with you ISIS-kun

heyyy that guy is dialing 911...

shut the fuck up im actually ordering a pizza, i forgot lunch

wtf hostage takers pet

Hey! This guy here said you all are pussies and won't shoot them!

*Loudly Farts

no no no
by you, i was referring to me

"Jerk me of with the tip of beral of that AK. BIIIIG BOYYYYY!"

SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! NOT SO COMPLEX, SHOT ME IN THE FAAAAAAAAAAAACE! DO IT! IN THE FACE!

you can ask them to order pizza they can get things for free with the negotiator.

can we order some pizzas terrorist sama? can we ?

Alltrack Snackbar!
*Hitler Signature"

hey guys this was kinda an accidental takeover so im outta ideas here. any help

If I give you my dubs...can I leave?
I won't tell anyone about what's happening, I swear.

Dude that's BADASS

Even dubs and you may leave. But Odd dubs... shot in the head.

No problem man, here you go.

"IM AN ALABAMA NIGGER AND I WANNA BE FREE!"

you wouldn't kill a dapper fellow like me, would you?

you die first

thats a big gun... do you like big things?

Excuse me? Why are we being held hostage? How does that make you feel? Would you like to talk about it? Is this because your mother wasn't there for you?

Hey terrorist man can I get a soda from the vending machine?

You won't shoot me fag. You're scared

Let me join your cause ... I feel your suffering!

Sure *Flips Quarter (Elaborate plan set in action)
>Vending machine only sales Diet Rite

*moans* don't stop mommy

youtube.com/watch?v=ye8KvYKn9-0&list=PL15CF40F22ABFB664

big mistake

yippee ki yay mother

when did you realize you wanted to be a hostager? Im still thinking if I made the right decision going to college...

for england james?

I do something stupid and get us all killed

Yeah, but cheese pizza only...

Underrated post. Topkek

I pull out my captain America shield and save us all.

>no, for the whole world, B

James, even Germany?

for u

I WANNA RIDE THE HORSIE, I WANNA RIDE THE HORSIE

For you

Jokes on you, hostage situations turn me on

Stay down, everybody!

your guns threat level is to low, i stay standing.

i also stay standing.

joke's on you OP im a nigg, youre either gonna kill me first and get swatted or shit yourself when i claim i have a gun

Suckee suckee and let me go, yes?

Fucking stay down!

There has been too much violence. Too much pain. But I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Give me your weapons, the hostages, the pizza, and the whole compound, and I'll spare your lives. Just walk away and we'll give you a safe passageway in the wastelands. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror. I await your answer. You have a full day to decide

I think this guy has a good point *drops rifle*

oh man, i hope we get out of this alive guys
*whispers*
>does anyone have a cellphone?

you dont even need a day. i though the verizon was your/overlords idea and you were in the loop on this.

i still maintain that working and cs part time is something i could do but your alternative of retail and cs part time is also a great option and will maybe even let me do the uni experience i have 'missed out on'

Well let's just follow his demands. He seems very reasonable

yeah im down for it but i wanna get started saving cash money sooner rather than later

finally we can get the law to side with us. terrorist senpai, can you give us a hand or at least tie our hands in front so I can do some stroke motion easily?

I was talking about that loony in the hockey mask and bondage gear. But that is also ok

*Show terrorists my Israeli passport*

Come on in Shlomo. Yer just in time for my son's bahmitzfah

>request to order pizza
>order pepperoni and sausage
>muslims cant eat pork
>terrorists have hunger pangs
>overtake terrorists with renewed pork assisted strength.

Why aren't we rushing the shooter guys?

YOU RUSH LONG ILL GO SHORT

umm, one of us could get shot.

Because i have to the the most ungodly of shits. Any wrong movements will upset the balance of my tightened sphincter

THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING.

-----
-----
SAFETY LOCKS DISENGAGED. ALPHA PROTOCOL ACTIVATED.
WEAPON SYSTEMS ONLINE.

-----
SURRENDER ALL HOSTAGES OR PREPARE FOR TERMINATION SEQUENCE.

-----

THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING.
RESISTANCE IS NOT ADVISED.

you go CT ill flash it

>They shoot themselves from the guilt.

>Ayyyyyy

>gets 70 MALE virgins in heaven

God damnit I left my tendies in the microwave

*robotic roaring*

kekelles

>Each with their own giant unique sausage dick

Fuck it, dubs and we all die

Dag Nammit!!

well since we are all gonna die, let it be OP first for putting us in a shitty situation, at least we had a chance against ultra giga giggirty igga nigga

>takes "porkin it" to a whole new level

Release me, I have dubs

Well that's just not kosher.

>i'vebeenpreparingforthismywholelife.jpg
>wait till their guard is off
>swiftly perform tactical draw
>blast self in head

Almost trips

we are really hamming up these puns

ENGAGING HOSTILES

------

WARNING, WARNING. IDENTIFICATION SYSTEMS CORRUPTED.

-------

PROCEEDING TO ANNHILATE ALL TARGETS, FRIENDLY AND HOSTILE.

*partially unsheaths katana*
Unless you'd like to learn the name of my blade and its power firtshand...
Back away now...

i dont recommend this idea

-DEFENDING HOSTAGES-

---------------------------------------------

-TERMINATING ROGUE UNIT

Let me help you kill the infidels inchallahu akbar