oh boy
>be me last year, 18 y/o kind of a loser (i'm posting here so definitely a loser)
>go bowling with my friend (18 y/o female, kinda hot)
>she invites me back to her place, shes having a party that night
>fuck oath i'm there, tells me to be there at around 6
>show up at 6 on the dot because i don't go to parties and i don't know anything
>i'm the first one there, parties still being set up
>that's ok ill wait
>go upstairs, find her Wii
>start playing Wii sports, end up losing track of time
>suddenly its 8 and the parties been going on for a while
>oh shit
>turn off the Wii, decide to piss before i go downstairs
>find the bathroom, piss was good, but no toilet paper, the fuck?
>dick smells like piss and i accidentally got some sprinkle on the floor, fuck no TP.
>brilliant idea comes into my head
>take sock off, use it to wipe my dick and the floor
>all better
>throw it in the toilet, attempt to flush it
>glugg glugg glugg
>ohlordpleasehelpmeno
>frantically try to flush it harder, no use
>take piss soaked sock out, no idea what to do
>see a window in the bathroom, too easy
>open window and toss piss sock out
>hear screaming
>oshit
Oh boy
>look out window, directly underneath is the deck the party was on
>piss sock landed on someone and splattered everyone else
>fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
>if i go down now they'll know its me, and im the only one without piss on my head
>another brilliant idea
>scoop some piss from the toilet onto my head
>camouflage
>they'll still know its me if i go down now
>creep out of bathroom to an adjacent room, find another window
>climb out, start shimming down the side of the house
>almost halfway, lights come on
>"WHAT THE FUCK"
>detected.jpg
>freak out and lose my grip, fall 2+ meters onto my arm
>everyone runs over to see what happened
>girl who invited me runs up and sees me, her face drops
>"user i forgot you were even here, what the fuck were you doing? was that sock thing you? why are you wet as well?"
>start crying from the pain of my now broken wrist, while covered in my own piss on the lawn of this cute girls house surrounded by 50+ normies
>went home in an ambulence
so do you think she'll ever talk to me again?
Who the fuck wipes their dick after they piss? Also, how bad was your aim that you had to clean up enough piss to cause this kind of damage?
im not circumsized and cant pull my foreskin back so every time i piss it pools in the end of my dick skin like a balloon and just goes everywhere, ive learnt to control it more but it still happens
>Who the fuck wipes their dick after they piss?
Umm civilized clean people? Definitely not muricans.
Obviously shell never speak with you again so you either shoot up the school or tell her the truth and man up
but you already fucked yourself over
Murikan here. I was teached to not piss on myself.
Well that's enough Sup Forums for today. The cringe made me realise it's time to get drunk
>teached
But you weren't taught how to use basic english.
You also got your dick mutilated just so you don't need to wash properly. But even if you don't piss on yourself (me neither) there's still couple drops of piss in your urethra. If you don't wipe it dry you'll have piss on your underware. But then again i guess it's pretty normal for smelly nigger muricans.
That might be so but at least I ain't pissing on myself
ho fuck... Just seat to pee, you sissy...
Or go surgery so you can peel your foreskin
>underware
>underwear *
>seat
Welp op time to go to school with a helmet only way too save yourself
>18
>go to school
you mean college?
gunna take a crane to get out OP
sorry
Nah op is in highscool and Monday billy will shove me...him in a locker
Nice try faggot normiee I don't know a billy
> same faggot