Character goes to bed

>character goes to bed
>doesn't struggle all night with an itchy anus

> character goes to bed at 9
> isn't up until 2am shitposting on an Iranian basket weaving board to avoid his crippling depression

>slytherin earns the house cup
>HOWEVER

>male character wakes up
>his hand doesnt rocket down to his cock to relieve his foreskin bursting erection
How do I relate?

THIS SENPAI

>character takes a shit
>doesn't have to sit in the sink for 30 minutes to scrub the sticky tar like substance out of his ass crack

immersion ruined

>character takes a shit
>no blood

>ma cuck man cuck man cuckman mancuck
>cuck!!

>Character is trying to fall asleep
>He doesn't slam his head as hard as he can against the headboard to distract himself from reliving all of his embarassing moments from throughout the day until the pain causes him to become unconscious

Why aren't movies every immersive?

>KEKMAN KEKMAN KEKMAN THAT BUCK UP TO SOMETHING
>HE JUST SPENT LIKE TWO DAYS WITH MY WIFE STRAIGHT HUMPING

>character doesn't wash blood out of mouth after brushing teeth

>Character goes to bed
>He isn't afraid of falling asleep because the nightmares won't stop

>character meets a new person
>they don't recoil in disgust at his very presence

I can only suspend my disbelief so far

>male character has sex
>he doesn't have to pay
>he doesn't ask her to bully his tiny jap penis
Maybe its just me?

...

>romantic movie
>the male lead isnt shown to spend hours edging to porn only to accidentally blow his man pudding due to an errant stroke while watching tranny porn and end up crying himself to sleep worrying about being gay

...

>Character goes to bed
>Doesn't get out of bed 30 minutes later to watch rewatch House for 3 hours.

...

>AHHHHHHHCHOO~

Kek

Someone really likes William Katt.

>spend time in pinworm thread on Sup Forums
>freak out for about a month every time the sweat makes the hair around my butthole get stuck in and tickles my pucker

>character goes entire day without masturbating

>character doesn't stage his parents house just right so that he cant possibly be caught masturbating while they're in Phoenix for that meeting
>character isnt interrupted by his goofy tomboy neighbor who snuck up through THE BACKYARD of all places and spotted him through the window he left open because private exhibitionist

>character knows what to do with his hands

>foreskin

My vagina when

>woman wakes up with makeup fully applied
I mean I don't mind if it's natural looking but often they've got obvious eye shadow and mascara on and it's just weird.

>t. saggy tits

>character doesn't forget they're on camera and do the ol' sniff test

>Character doesn't have clogged pores on his penis

>femanon character thinks she's funny posting a mvw post but outs herself as a slut for cheesy slug dicks because the clouds in her pic imply SOME moisture
What happened to Carrie in the school shower is too good for you, whore.

Sorry man, you lost me
and thanks for making me feel like a normie

>character wakes up
>doesn't ask mommy to change the wet sheets

>Sex scene
>character doesn't have to take it slow because he's jacked himself raw over the last week

>foreskin

Those two things are not connected with most of us.

COME THE FUCK ON! Sup Forums is a Christian imageboard and (TRUE!) Christians dont circumcise!

>foreskin

the fuck

wat ur peen no work?

>characters about to graduate high school
>complaining they're still virgins
Literally how does this happen?

>mfw americucks exist

>foreskin
gross 2bh

>american scene
>all the penises are mutiliated

irrelevant third worlder detected

>american city scene
>it's not an apocalyptic shithole overrun by blacks and mexicans

>americuck thinks he's relevant

>non-American character
>they think their country and opinions matter

Enjoy your smegma covered windsock disks, eurofuck. BTW, women find foreskin repulsive

I think you're just upset that your parents cut your baby penor up lol

>be americuck
>get triggered instantly

>Scene takes place in London
>London Calling plays instead of a traditional British Adhan

absolutely haram

Grateful every day I wake up to a beautiful, clean, normal looking penis instead of an alien prolapsed anus. Enjoy your She's, apes.

>pablo tries communicating in english for the first time
very good

>character goes to bed
>he doesn't spend 1+ hours rolling around before finally falling asleep

how's the scare tissue working out for you, and the thousands of missing nerve endings? And the increased erectile dysfunction, and the increased likelyhood of premature ejaculation?

>not recognizing autocorrect

Some of us shitpost from our phones because our back fat hasn't grafted itself to our chairs and we can leave our homes.

Pic related. It's (You)

You're no americuck.

that girl on the left smells terrified

>people replying to this (possibly Jewish) obvious bait

me on the left

>tfw no scar tissue
>tfw sensitivity is perfect
>tfw no ED or PME
>tfw women say they're so happy I don't have an uncut alien cock

In the US our doctors don't use stone tools anymore. Makes things work a bit more smoothly.

Enjoy your disgusting anteater dick and the utter disappointment on any females face who isn't some eurowhore when they see it.

But if that's him then why did you use a picture of a guy that's outside? Hello?

>character doesn't wonder why time goes faster each year
>this doesn't give him severe anxiety
Takes me out of the movie desu.

>tfw american
>tfw uncut
>tfw nothing but praise

lol@u rite now

>character goes to bed
>doesn't wake up every 2 hours to piss

>character masturbates
>doesn't have to use lube

>missing nerve endings
>Increase in premature ejeculation

Wut

oh no no no no no

look at the top of his head

>cracker pretends he's getting any pussy
holy shit you cumskins really crack me up

I have a very small amount of blood after I shit, it never drips and is only detectable via toilet paper. There's also pain that feels like skin tore.

I guess I have a really tight asshole

When you pay them, they tell you what you want to hear, user.

You might have diabetes.

Never used lube in my life senpai

>tfw my ass is itchy but it hurts like fuck to scratch it

...

No one knows why. Cut dudes cum sooner than uncut. Probably all the damage done do the brain of the baby during the circumcision, like some kind of penisTSD

where do i find this video.

Just spit on your hand. Who the fuck uses lube?

...

>posts enormous valley that's taken the lives of countless men
Probably accurate desu

>less sensitive
>cum faster

LOL the lies uncucks tell themselves to feel better about their horrifying lovecraftian genitals. You know what aren't lies? Smegma, STDs and women vomiting at the sight of your cocks.

>mfw cutfags are obsessed with cocks
lmaooo

>surely there will be no consequences when I cut off the most sensitive part of my dick

>yuropoor gets #rekt
>goes into full damage control

>character has to piss
>goes to the bathroom

>damage controlling his ruined penis

>character takes a shower
>they dont turn on the shower head to jet mode and blast their asshole

>americuck so devastated he takes a 25 minutes timeout
can't make this up

>character has anteater dick

Spit is often sticky and the friction dosent last long. It also leaves a horrid smell on your dick.

...

>Women flock to him because uncut feels better inside of them than knifed edged scar tissue

cutlets on suicide watch

A useless hood of loose skin
>most sensitive part

Look, your border hopping parents couldn't get you cut. Deal with it. Your junk looks like it lives on the ocean floor.

>just cut my shit up Shlomo

Femanon here, would never touch an uncut penis. I just called all of my friends they all agree uncut is gross

>he didn't pass grade 3 science and doesn't understand penises

Femanon here, would never touch a cut penis. I just called all of my friends they all agree cut is gross

So I take it you don't wash your dick off after jerking off? Even with lube that's a must.

>yuropoor still desperately trying
embarrassing urself tbhfam