Dear Sup Forums

Dear Sup Forums,

Why can't I get over myself?

I'm 26 years old, have had one date this year, am a pretty sociable person but in reality it's just a mask, and I'm anxious as fuck when I talk to people especially girls who I'm interested in. I find this strange as I've been with a fair amount of women since my teenage years (12 relationships). It's not like I'm a bad looking guy either, in fact I've had many people tell me I'm quite the looker.

What is it about my mental self that makes it so I cannot change the way I perceive the world and interact with it? Oh god how ive tried. Things have gotten worse for me since my teenage years and I'm worried at this rate I'm going to be one of those sour ass 30 year old men who think it's the world vs them and that everything is shit, because quite frankly I'm almost there; but I really don't want to be.

It's not just relationships my life is suffering in, career, friendships, hobbies, drive to do new things. Why is it I realize all this but can do nothing about it?

Stop beating off. It'll do you wonders

u need to learn to re-think. Find where u fail, basically u have to find out what the others need

I don't beat off, I used too every day but I actually stopped because of a lack of drive due to medication I'm on and previous suggestion of this.

Thanks for the suggestion though.

what medication u evil AW

Thats the thing though, I'm well liked by others and have a strong head on my shoulders. It's more an internal struggle. In my teenage years I was able to just say fuck it, but now I seem to have developed somewhat of a mental block.

Methadone, and divalproex.

Be nice is a weakness u shoudnt let ur feelings influence ur decision making

Op. Its actually really simple. I suffer from this to. Your problem is 1 thing. Happines. You are not happy with yourself. I figured it out that being happy with yourself is the best thing. People pick up your vibes man. Wish i could be happy man

Hm.. my gut in these instances always goes to low testosterone. Exercise and getting some sun could help too. And I remember hearing about this guy who was going to kill himself if he turned 30 and was still a virgin and the only advice he needed to follow was the "lay 5 bricks a day" approach. By that I mean talking to 5 girls every day. You'd probably fuck up at first but if you can maintain that for 8 weeks that's 280 women. Even pimps don't talk to that many women. A buddy and I found Gavin MccInnes and the proud boys to be very helpful. It's a little gay but we couldn't argue with the results of their advice. We were both pretty beta and got girlfriends within a month of using the gospel. Maybe listening to some of things they say could help you out too.

I'm not overly nice. I'm nice when I need to be, but when something requires a sturn fist I'm more than capable of being an asshole.

But you're probably right in a sense that I do let my feelings influence my decision making, should be more logical I suppose. It's hard when anxiety can be involved (even harder when it is only involved half the time and you don't know when it will come about)

I've thought about this a lot, I'm currently stuck in a position I really don't want to be in and I suppose in a way I've been sheltering other people from it needlessly. I'm a recovering opiate addict, so in my case it's the typical "who would want to be with a junkie, etc" I'm already taking steps to fix myself, I just have utter disdain for the length of the process.

I wish happiness to you my friend

speaking as a 31 year old with much the same issue, its not that bad.

just be patient and eventually find a like minded girl and together you can hate on everything but each other. plus the small satisfaction of knowing im better than almost everyone

I wish you the best to op and godspeed

I've never heard of that, I will check it out. Thanks.

Really I think it comes down to , I've said many times to myself "if I can't like myself, who will like me" and it's a simple truth.

I think ill just focus on bettering myself until this mental block is broken down. Thanks Sup Forumsros.

stop taking methadone, what the fuck are you doing? no wonder you feel like shit

stop being addicted to drugs and maybe you will stop being so fucked up


or just realize we're a bunch of talking monkeys on a rock flying through space and nothing matters at all.

In a way I think that's actually one of my issues, I think I'm better than EVERYONE. But really this is not an attitude I want to have during life. Like I said before, I do not want to be a bitter asshole throughout the rest of my life.

You say this like it's the easiest thing in the world. Have you tried detoxing off methadone? I dont think so considering your attitude. Not saying you're wrong, but it isn't that simple.

Judging by how defensive you just got I'd say that you know that I'm right. Best of luck to you.

indeed u should show them what u can do ;)

Like I said, "not saying you're wrong, but it isn't that simple." And thank you, because it is something I intend to beat.

that is the very first step user

Are you /fit/ my guy? I was once like you then I realized what was holding me back and why I didn't believe In myself fully I was very unathletic the only thing I had going for me were my looks and likeable personality then I started working out a bit and felt way more confident that could be what's holding you back

>methadone

So, you are an ex junkie on methadone therapy.

Theres the reason why, you fucked up the wiring in your brains thanks to all that dope you took.

you are experiencing highs and lows due to the methadone now that you cant live without.

Unfortunatley ex junkies who need methadone never get off it alive, they say its a living hell or nothingness.

Sorry pal, you shouldnt have messed with that junk.

Now lie in the bed you made.

I am not /fit/, I used to weigh 250 pounds at 15 years old, started playing hard DDR (laugh if you want, it worked) and lost 100 pounds. Once I lost this weight I had an insane confidence boost and started partying and socializing, got into drugs, and where I had fully intended to get buff, just didn't have the time/drive anymore. I am now a healthy weight, but I am not strong or fit in the slightest. It is something I want, but I have a shitton going on in my life right now.bl but, that's just an excuse. I need to get on top of it and make myself happy.

Sun, exercise, and nutrition. I've never had to get off of such an addictive substance but I know without those things I feel like a pile of shit. If you happen to be sedentary and eating poorly it's going to only make it more difficult to feel like you don't need methadone. I hope you figure it out Sup Forumsud

Thats just not true. I know I've rewired my brain, but I've done enough research to know that people can come back from it to live relatively normal lives. It just takes time and willpower.

Thank you, I'm actually pretty into nutrition, but I am missing that fitness element. I need to make that final push I didn't all those years ago.

If Steve-o can do it, you can do it. Also if you haven't watched his documentary I highly suggest that YouTube video. That guy went deep as fuck and has been sober for years.

Will check it out, didn't know he was a junkie/ex-junkie. Thanks for the material.

You ruined the part of your brain that secretes dopamine naturally, the hormone that makes people get up out of bed and enjoy the day and get shit done, the part of you brain that is responsible for feeling good with yourself and general optimism is been destroyed.

Thats why you need the fake good dopamine feeling from methadone now.

And I dont think its an organ you replace either.

My cousin is a methadone addict, he swore he would try to get off it within a year, hat was 10 years ago.

Now he is a scrawney goblin who doesnt eat and sits around the house all day smoking cigarettes and not talking to anyone.

He burnt himself out permanently. Its a hassle taking his ass every morning to the clinic.

I wish you well, maybe they have new medicine that can help these days.

Start small. Real small. If you do get some intense motivation and overwork yourself you'll snap right back out of it. Maybe just walks at first even or light bike rides. I'm sure /fit/ would love to help too. I even once got hooked on Bruce lee motivation videos on YouTube for awhile. You can find some powerful words if you look for them. The issue for me at the time was I ran blisters into my feet and knocked myself out of the zone.

I feel for your cousin, shit is hard. Honestly I'm not going to say were in different boats because we aren't, but I sound better off than him; atleast in my opinion.

I try to take my life with a glass half full approach, because there are so many people in my "situation" that are way worse off. Like I said before, I'm still social, I still do things, I still have a drive to make myself better, I'm actually leading a pretty normal life. I've just developed a few mental blocks when it comes to relationships and one or two other things.

I think it's a common theme for methadone users to give up on life. I haven't gotten to that point yet (have been on methadone for 2-3 years now)

I promise you have not done half the damage he has done to his brain and I've seen him speak after getting clean and he seems pretty solid. Don't listen to these people talking about how you're lost due to over-usuage. It's well within you to be successful.

For me walks ain't a thang, I even jog for kilometers. Im more so needing/wanting to get into bodybuilding.

I'll check out /fit/ though, I'm glad to hear they'd be willing to help out.

Thanks bro, and no worries there; I live in downtown Vancouver, land of the junkie. I've really seen it all. I know that most people who try to down people about that shit really have no idea what they are talking about.

Your parents must be proud!

I've put my parents, especially my mom, trough shit. Since picking myself up in a sense I've done everything within my power to make amends. I have a 100% openness/truthful policy with my mom, and with everything I've done since picking myself up, yes she is quite proud. I still don't feel it is enough though, and I don't think I ever will feel that it is truly enough after what I have done.