Waifu/Husbando claiming thread.
Previous:
Rules:
>Claim your Waifu/Husbando
>No claiming Waifus/Husbandos that have already been claimed
>Only one claim per user
>No stealing
>No sexualised content
>No RP/ERP of any kind
>Discussion is welcomed
>If you're posting images you're not lurking
>3D is always trash
>Joining means a reserved place in hell
>Most importantly, have fun!
Other urls found in this thread:
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Daily reminder that the members of this community are doing more to destroy it than any spammer or shitposter ever could.
Fucking faggot weebs your cancerous threads are finally dying
ok
Epic.
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Epic.
I awaken from a terrible nightmare around 8pm, the usual hour in which my slumber comes to a halt, albeit somewhat earlier. I obviously have a productive time ahead of me, being up at this hour. I turn myself over and kiss my Waifu pillow, landing my lips on a spot deprived of my dried-up ejaculate. As per usual, I begin to whine and scream for my mother. I require a nurtrituous meal of Tyson brand frozen chicken nuggets and Mountain Dew, and based on the smell emanating from my size 42 adult diaper, I will also need a change. I use what little energy I have to push my buzz lightyear bedsheets off, and roll myself out of bed, crushing several piss bottles in the process. Luckily, I can kill two birds with one stone by taking my biweekly shower tonight, so I can wash off the piss and also gain 10 big boy points from mommy. I waddle over to the bulletin board, and a smirk begins to form on my face as I realize I have acquired 100 big boy points, enough for a new anime body pillow. I plop 320 pound ass on to my computer chair, causing the shit in my adult diaper to spill out on the basement floor beneath me. I brush the roaches off of my LED lit mechanical keyboard and load up Sup Forums. As soon as I load up the latest "waitu claiming thread", mother walks down to the basement
Part 1
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She strategically maneuvers herself through the maze of piss bottles and shit jugs until she makes it to my desk. I am her precious son, earning so many big boy points I could be on the NASDAQ. She bows before me and presents tonights meal. It isn't what I was expecting, on the tray sits a great value paper plate, adorned with Tostitos Pizza rolls and a red solo cup of Dr. Pepper. Anger swells within me, causing my face to turn red. I twist my cheeto stained neckbeard hair and ponder what her consequence will be for this disappointment. I decide to drop it, as the meal will suffice. I brush a group of roaches off of my monitor and browse the latest Waifu claiming thread, and remind her to leave her credit card so I can order another body pillow to spray my seed upon. I turn around and see her grabbing my beloved Miku pillow, I become overwhelmed with rage, I stand up from my computer chair and begin to approach her. Suddenly, I trip over 2 liter of Mountain Dew that I filled with piss last year, and my fat, unshowered body crashes into the basement floor beneath me. It seemed to happen in slow motion. I hear the "crunch" roaches crushed under my man boobs. I happened to fall in a particular spot where I keep most of my shit jugs and piss bottles. I am completely soaked in old piss and shit
Pt 2
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I gaze down upon my body. I am completely naked expect for my adult diaper, the content of which has been emptied onto my thighs and back. My stomach extends forward so much I cannot see my feet, and my man tits so far I can barely see my stomach. I see the layer of shit, piss, and dead roaches as armor, and imagine myself as a hero in one of my favorite animes. I am trying to save my princess, my Miku body pillow mother is trying to capture. I must save her, she is my only instrument to combat my eternal virginity. I charge at mother, and collide with her, sending her crumbling down onto my mattress. She vomits immediately, because she knows she's lying upon millions of her unborn grand children, in the form of my semen absorbed into my buzz lightyear bedsheets. I lay on top of her, burying her face between my shit-covered man breasts. I pull myself away, and laugh as notice some of the dead roaches have stuck to the shit on her face. I reclaim my previous body pillow and kiss her up and down. I then proceed to expose my tiny Phallus and masturbate onto her, as a display of my power should her or my mother rebel against me once more
Pt 3
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Obligatory Claim.
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Mother retreats upstairs. I squint my eyes and hiss at the sliver of light creeping in from the basement door. I haven't been to the other parts of the house since last Christmas, when mom told me I had to socialize with the family or get my computer taken away. I imagine my house as a video game map, and think the rest of my house as The Unknown Lands. I also like to imagine my room a castle. I haven't been outside since I was 16, which was about 6 years ago. I live in complete darkness, except for my computer screen, which is always displaying the current Waifu claiming thread. Thinking of last Christmas makes me sweat and feel anxious, I never want to leave my castle. I remember walking up the steps. And trying to adjust my eyes to light. Mother made me wear a red Christmas sweater and some sweat pants. I walked into the living room where my normie family members were talking and doing things on their iPhones. I tried to convince them that computers are superior technology and only normies use phones, but they wouldn't listen. My little cousin asked my why I had so many stains on my sweat pants, and I realized these were the ones I masturbated on before mommy bough my first body pillow. I waddled back down to my castle and haven't left since.
Pt 4
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kunt
CUNT.
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So much repetition in this thread, I wonder what it means.
>tsunami these threads
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who knows
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me knows
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What a horrible night to have a curse.
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My face when all the shit posting is paying off and these virginity festivals are withering away
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Kirara claimed.
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Please s-stop shitposting my s-safe haven!
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You didn't do shit.
Discord is a leech.
No, that's the Discord's fault
You had nothing to do with it
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>Waifu claimers face when their autistic community is dying
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Discord lives up to its name once again.
thats my face every day
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Keep telling yourself that
Why did y'all go to discord if shit posting doesn't bother you?
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the discord began taking over before you were here
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The discord was around before you
So """""""""""we""""""""""" could hugbox and suck each others dicks while banning serious discussion.
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Riiiight, because these threads aren't usually always active as fuck and one after the other. Nice damage control virgin go cry to mom about your only friend group being decimated by big bad bullies
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They made it before shitposting became daily, it was made because reasons
Not everyone here is in the discord
for the last 3 months they have been like this at times
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I'd like to claim George Costanza as my Waifu. None of you can take him because it's my birthday.
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Claiming.
We've had a lot more 6-7 hour threads and even 12 hours. Back in the day threads lasted almost 30 minutes.
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yeah. yall act like yall post the link or something.
ive never seen it.
>decimate
That means to destroy one tenth of, cuntboy.
Sup Forums as a whole has gotten slower too.
Heil
it was posted last thread
They posted links before, but now very few people from the discord post in the thread
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Lot of good that does me you cheeky cunt.
Hi.
what
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That's because the us elections are over
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I'm looking for the fucking link
to the discord
you cunt.
Yeah because it's a school night.
Excuse m-me, but are you pretending t-to be me?
what kind eejit are you?
wanting to get in the discord is like wanting to be a cancerous newfag
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