Girl advice from Sup Forums what the fuck could go wrong. please post advice or troll, i'll enjoy both

girl advice from Sup Forums what the fuck could go wrong. please post advice or troll, i'll enjoy both.

>Be me, introvert computer nerd
>Beta male late twenties
>Never had much luck with relationships (most girls are fucking crazy)
>Pretty much given up on girls, been single for a long time
>On more or less of a joke, go onto dating website a couple months ago
>I like people watching and laughing at retarded profiles
>Find mirror image of myself, but a girl version!
>Not serious, but message them for the keks
>We hit things off, and messages intensify
>We talk online for a month or so
>They might be a long lost twin, because we are very similar in most ways
>Then we started hanging out semi frequently
>I fall madly in love with them and I think they think the same of me
>Both of us never have had luck in relationships
>Neither of us know what the fuck we are doing
>We both wait on the other one to make the first move sexually
>Like two fucking magnets -+ +-
>Things continue like this for a few months
>Hugs are awkward, normal relationship things are beyond our comprehension, sex is not an option
>I have been trying to break the ice and get things moving
>But I suck ass at it
>She easily has become one of my best friends and I care for them a lot
>Today I found out she opened back up her dating website account (mutual friend saw her on there)
>I tell her that, and also tell her that she doesn't 'have to go our with me' if she doesn't want to, and that I was sorry that it hasn't been working out, and that I like her a lot I just suck at showing it.
>She comes up with like a half dozen excuses, accuses me of monitoring her unfairly, and lastly says it's my fault the relationship hasn't gone anywhere
>I ask if she's willing to give it another chance
>She says yes, starting tomorrow

So... Sup Forumsros and Sup Forumsroads,... how the fuck do I seal the deal? What would you do? I like her a lot and I don't want to fuck this up.

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ok, listen
you can pretty much anything you want to and she'll be in fucking heaven if you make the move.

When she comes around, just say.. "I've wanted to do this for a long time" and just grab and kiss her. She'll love it. You'll know it. Proceed to take off her clothes and just fuck her, be loving, open-hearted and show your passion for her. show her you want her. that's what she was missing all the time

op here... wow!! fuck that's great!!! thanks user!!!

Tell her to sit down and close her eyes, you have a surprise for her. Once she is sitting with eyes closed, do a 180 and fart in her face. Immediately moonwalk out of the room, pop your collar and flip her off.

maximum overkek

just another remark. you might be really nervous about the fucking part. if you feel too insecure to immediately proceed to the fucking, do this kissing part and talk to her. tell her that you really want this to work out and that you have strong feelings for her. tell her that you want to show her your passion by bodily expression. tell her that you want to explore her body and want your body explored. proceed to the bed and take her clothes off. be the active part first of all, she probably has the same level of insecurity as you do. tell her to touch you if she doesn't but in a loving way, expressing your desire to be touched. caress her face, kiss her more, carefully proceed down, kiss her throat and neck, use your hands to softly slide up her hip and waist and use a curvy motion to her breasts. be gentle. all while you kiss her throat and neck. after you touched her breasts, look at her and tell her how beautiful she is and start kissing her breasts afterwards, slowly proceed downwards by kissing her entire body and caressing it with your hands. kiss her pussy once and very! carefully. tell her how good she smells. kiss her inner thighs, work your way to the pussy by kissing it in discrete steps towards the outer labia. stop right before the pussy and continue with the other thigh. after you did that, kiss her pussy again. start licking her outer labia and kiss more, this time a little more intensively. taste her pussy juice. tell her how good she tastes and then tell her, it's her turn to explore your body. guide her if she doesn't know how to.

Beta as fuck. Ask her to peg you

she just wants someone who can take control. I think you've lost her my man unless you can unbeta yourself and just go balls deep

it is your fault the relationship hasn't moved, your the guy. be alpha.

make some sorta romantic bullshit plans, girls like romance, no idea what it actually is though. no one does. thats why its all the same bullshit, its just guess guessing and repeting the same thing other guys do. try that, other people seem to get it done.

thats not bad. dont fuck it up.

so detailed - thanks so much!! really hot explanation, there is no way that won't be a hit (boner/10 just reading it)

kek

This is 100% what I am worried about. I've given her every chance to back out of this and go look for other guys, because I am worried I already fucked this up beyond repair,... but for whatever reason she's still down to try again. I'm going to try my best to man up tomorrow and we'll see how it goes.

You're right. Also, great suggestion with the romantic angle and just to keep trying and guessing. I bought some flowers that i'll give to her tomorrow.... i'll give those a try and see if that takes. Thanks.

to be honest... the flowers will not do anything if you don't show her your passion as I've described in and . You can throw the flowers away actually, they don't matter much. Though it would be nice if you bring her flowers some day after you've fixed your bodily connection. THAT IS WHAT'S BROKEN. you both are some weird introverted and insecure nerds. she doesn't need fucking flowers or any romantic symbols, she needs your touch, your kiss, your cock, your love. everything else doesn't fucking matter, you hit it off in every other respect anyway.

and let me get this straight for you. it's probably tough, but it's better to know the truth and to deal with the actual structures than to live in a soft fairy tale world where you wonder and get depressed because there apparently isnt anything you can do. (OF COURSE YOU CANT IF YOU DONT SEE WHATS ACTUALLY THERE)

1. you have not lost her
but why?
BECAUSE SHE DIDNT FIND ANYTHING BETTER YET. she was open again and back to searching (due to her reopened profile) and she wouldve moved on if she got a good opportunity. apparently she DIDNT so she's open for another go with you. so this is not about YOU as much as about LUCK.

2. you can still SECURE her.
make sure you give her what she really needs. (bodily affection, feeling wanted etcetc. like I told you and keep on doing that).
Tell her that you WILL NOT TOLERATE ANOTHER TRY AT FINDING ANOTHER MATE. (after you fucked her good. shoot your cum as if you were a dog marking its territory. AND THEN MAKE IT UNMISUNDERSTANDABLE THAT SHE BELONGS TO YOU)

3. good luck, you can do it. also fuck romantic symbols like flowers. don't fucking use stereotypes. show how you feel in an authentic way. you should learn to express what your heart, mind and body really crave without blocking it in any way, at least towards her.

Well --- shit. That sounds really right to me. I'll ditch the flowers and i'll go the passionate physical route.

user,... I can't thank you enough.

I got a question for you --- she's coming over tomorrow, how do we get to the
>"I've wanted to do this for a long time" and just grab and kiss her
part? Like, when she walks in the room, kek? or, netflix and chill type of thing? I think that very first step is going to be the hardest for me to figure out. (with that aside, you're a lifesaver!)

actually, i'm retarded, you said:
>you should learn to express what your heart, mind and body really crave without blocking it in any way, at least towards her.

so, I might be thinking about it wrong. I should just express myself and my needs without blocking it in. That's really great advice; I think that actually might be my big hangup.

I just read a sentence and I think it's something more general you need:
"Have the privilege of owning yourself, rather than a fleeting perception tied to self-value within an implicit, speculative relation towards your peers"

OK. How you get to the kissing part... I'll help you with that but it requires some more input from you.

Don't do the netflix and chill shit, say goodbye to every stereotype. Be yourself. Do you really want to watch a fucking movie? No.
You want to eat, drink, fuck, sleep, shit, piss, feel good and have some fun if everything else is satisfied. She can give you the fucking and feeling good part. That's what your motivation is for the relation. That's what her motivation is for the relation, so why watch movies?

My guess is that you can go for the kissing part when she walks into the room. That is said with a confidence level of 90-95%. To get to 99%, I'd have to know more details about your bodily interaction. So tell me a little more about it, how much did you touch? in which situations? in what way did your hugs become awkward or were they always?

>so, I might be thinking about it wrong. I should just express myself and my needs without blocking it in

yes, but it's not easy... that's why I said, that you'll need to learn it. Don't judge yourself in a manner of valuation - judge the world and within your judgements find how the world can fulfill your needs. the judgements that are about you should only be: what do I want? how can I get it? and advanced: how can I get it even better/easier/... ?

>how much did you touch?
>in which situations?

Hello hug, goodbye hug, arm around them while watching movies. Pretty much the totality of it. We held hands once while walking and that was nice - she gave me shit about 'her' having to initiate it (which she did).

>in what way did your hugs become awkward or were they always?

Always. Like if you were going to hug your nan type of awkward, with a little 'pat pat' on the back just to bring things to new levels of cringe.


Also - I should add, I have only really had one relationship before, but right out the gate is was fucking - it was really clear that she was hot and ready to go. With this girl, I think she hasn't been in any type of relationship before - and I think her initial hesitation made me really question how 'hard' I should press her physically.

bump

don't listen to that. the way to a woman's heart (at first) is never sex. the kissing thing is a risky move at best here. just outwardly explain how close and lucky you feel when around her

Ok. Then this is what you can do:
Try to hug her in a non-awkward way, like this:
When she gets into the room, approach the hug, and while approaching for the hug, tell her that you're happy to see her and hug her harder than usual but relatively short. Avoid the pat on the back. After you've hugged her shortly and harder than usual, quickly let go off her and grab both of her hands such that both of your arms together form a V. Look her in the eyes and tell her that you think that you've missed a very important part of an intimate personal relationship and that you want to fix it. Hug her again, a little more gentle. Kiss her forehead and take one of her hands and guide her to the sofa. before sitting down, take her jacket of and throw it away if necessary. just anywhere, you've got more important stuff to do than keeping it tidy right now. sit down close to her. pull her a little toward you, gentle but decisive. move your face close to hers, kiss her cheek softly, stay close with your face, move towards her mouth with yours, be playfully hesitant. kiss the tip of her nose, hover over her mouth with yours, be really close, so she expects a kiss but don't do it yet. build a little tension for a minute. kiss parts of her face that border her lips very carefully. move as if you were going to kiss her on the lips once or twice but don't do it so she starts craving it... and then release the tension by finally kissing her. proceed to make out.

this would be true for a first encounter but as OP has already mentioned she wants him to initiate bodily interaction.

OP here,... picture related... I'm so ready for tomorrow!! God bless you user... you're my hero

and I agree that you really don't need to have sex immediately. especially if she hasnt had a relationship, more so if she's a virgin. but you can proceed to

glad to help you. also try to understand: "Have the privilege of owning yourself, rather than a fleeting perception tied to self-value within an implicit, speculative relation towards your peers". this is not important for tomorrow, but it's important for your life. good luck, I'm out

stop being a fucking pussy. Hug her whenever and wherever. make out with her. get her in the fucking sack. most of all, grow a fucking pair.

Gods damn, you sound so pathetic it hurts. If you don't get shit rolling, Imma find you and fuck you in the ass like the little bitch you are. Bright side, you won't be a virgin anymore. Now get to it, faggot.

>tell her that you want to show her your passion by bodily expression
Don't say cringey shit like this.

Don't try to be smooth, or romantic. Just talk to her normally like you always do. Just be straight up. "Hey, sorry, I'm not exactly experienced with this sort of thing, so I've been kinda nervous. Let me try again" then make your move and start playing tonsil hockey. There's no big fucking secret, no outline of things to do in a certain order at a certain time.

You took too fucking long, and she got tired of waiting for you. Man the fuck up ASAP, or it's a lost cause.

op here

>implying your post didn't already take my ass virginity


youtube.com/watch?v=GmkD3DgWx_A

kek --- yeah, that phase in particular most likely wouldn't fly that well.

I like your point though, about just being normal and not trying (and failing) to be smooth or romantic.


Well, fuck... I can't say that Sup Forums was never helpful --- you guys are the best