No school stories thread?

No school stories thread?
School stories thread.

>Grade 8
>Had this trip to a pool in June
>The place there head free food, which was alright
>praisethesun.gif
>Swam in the pool and spent almost all of my time there
>Forget to put on sunscreen on, get burned like a motherfucker
>fuckthesun.gif
>start to realize this on the way back home
>next day in class
>had jewish teacher, she was usually a cunt
>see that she had also gotten burnt as well
>opportunitystrikes.jpg
>teacher asks about the trip and how we liked it, she's sunburnt too
>we say we liked it
>I say "Hey! We both got cooked!"
>class laughs, teacher laughs
>friend next to me laughs super hard, knowing what i meant
>mfw i just made a holocaust joke in front of the whole class
>mfw i got away with it

I have more stories on grade 8, if you wanna hear em

More

m o a r

When OP finishes, I have a fun little story involving an autistic nignog. Reply if you wanna hear, I'll be on standby.

I am OP and i wanna hear

im always down for an autismo story

>autistic
>nignog
Don't repeat yourself user, redundancy is bad. Anyway, I do want to hear your story.

When OP finishes, I have a fun little story as well regarding something I did in high school.

What? Because she was Jewish. That's a stretch bro.....

More op please

Short story of my miserable life.

>be me 31
>got my ass kicked on the daily in high school by jocks
>after school plan secret revenge on world
>instead just spend years fapping to tranny porn
>hate fags
>blame all my problems and antisocial behavior on women
>sometimes fantasies about mother

...

OK guys, ill post some more

>Grade 8
>US History class
>teacher talking about slavery and whatnot
>teacher brings up the fact that slavemasters raped their slaves
>Friend from last story (lets call him K) says "nice!!!"
>I think I chuckle but in reality i laugh while trying not to show it, making it obvious to teacher
>teach asks "user, whats so funny about slaves being raped?"
>shitnigga.jpg
>stutter like a motherfucker
>class gives me this look, especially the black kids
>shhhhhhheeeeeeiiiiiitttttttt.png
>dont raise my hand or even speak for rest of day
>mfw K never got caught

Alright, autismo nogger story inbound:

>be me
>high school chorus (inb4fineartsfag)
>be chilling with friends (important ones we'll call Ron and Mike)
>there's this one fucking black dude in class
>has the same name as me, so extra embarrassing

Let me just describe him out of greentext for a bit. He's legitimately autismo, and of course, black.

Now, I bet some of you are asking yourselves 'Huh, autistic people tend to obsess over stuff like anime or Nintendo or something, right? What does this guy obsess over?'

>FUCKING D I S N E Y C H A N N E L
>this guy never stops talking about teen beach movie or some shit like that

Anyways, I'll describe him more.

>shorter than me (which is fucking crazy because i was a 5' 4" manlet)
>always spoke with a clearly fake gay lisp, like he was always moaning
>like, seriously, imagine the dude from the 'I am the captain now' meme but constantly moaning, that's his voice

cont.

(Also I'm on mobile, forgive typos pls)

I'm a senior (18) and remember the clown craze the other month? I got the school on lockdown and cops to search the school because of it, Green text?

I don't have a story but a girl got expelled for sucking dick in the boys room. I believe it was 9th grade. I'd like to read her greentext.

Sounds stupid. Keep it to yourself to avoid the embarrassment.

Fuck you asshole

Oops, did I get your panties in a bunch?

Okay, before we get into the story, I seriously need to describe this fucker to you first.

>whenever you'd have your phone out, he would more than likely sit next to you and lean in
>not subtly, he would literally be more in front of the screen of your phone than you were
>when you'd confront him about it he would just giggle and go away

Like, what the shit, right?

>he also sings randomly, usually out of tune, squeakily and scrambly
>like lil Wayne, young thug, Brian Johnson and a Somalian warlord had a child that grew up in the gay part if Hollywood
>his idols include Demi Lovato and Taylor Swift
>he writes his own fucking songs

Not to brag, but me, Ron, and Mike are good singers and we blend well, so this fucked always pulls at least one of us to the side to listen to the songs he wrote. Spoiler: they're absolute ass

Here's a few examples of lyrics he'd put in his songs, accompanied by a terrible guitar chord:

"I just wanna be my seeEEeeELf"
"I wanna be a shOOOOooting starrr"
"We'd travel the galaxYYY"

Ron would usually ignore him, I'd give him all of the scrounged up constructive criticism that I could gather, and Mike (the one with a spine) actually told him that it was bad to his face

>he always responds with 'its not good!?'
>no shit, but me being me I couldn't say that stuff to his face
>bless mike and ron for keeping me sane

cont.

...

Moar

>Be me
>6th grade
>Insanely feminist social studies teacher
>We are talking about 1600's England or Spain, can't remember
>"And Queen Elizibeth (Idk if that's actually who it was) ruled all the citizens"
>Chad stands up
>Why didn't the king do anything? I thought men and women were equal.
>Teacher looks up, clearly pissed
>"Chad, can I see you in the hall?"
>mfw he got a 3 day in school suspension

Anyone want more stories on her?

Moar

m o a r

>be me 6th grade
>Computer lab learning to type on the keyboard
>Teacher tells everyone how to sign in to there typing account
>Everyone has the same password
>discovers theres a leaderboard with people with people with the highest scores with there name etc
>login to autistic kids typing account make him 1nd on leader

>be me
>grade 3
>recess time
>wearing loose shorts, no underwear
>while playing tag or some shit accidentally shit self
>shit solid
>thank you god
>shake shit out of pants
>turn 360 degrees and walk away
>come back later to laugh at poop on blacktop with everybody else, like a boss

>he always comes to me first because I'm a guitarfag
>he'd always try to get me to play the guitar for him in talent shows and I'd respond with "oh, I dunno if I'll be entering" (and I would)
>me and this other chick who we'll call Becca keep tossing him around because she plays guitar fairly well too
>i'd go "ask Becca" and she'd say "ask user"
>sometimes he would actually join and play the guitar and sing one of the songs he wrote himself
>imagine a short black autismo strumming a single guitar chord and singing a cheap ripoff of a Demi Lovato song in the middle of a room of like 40 chicks, a disappointed teacher, and like 8 guys
>me and my other friend made death grips jokes because haha

So yeah, he sucks, right? But that's not all.

>this fucker refuses to listen to us
>when we tell him to match a pitch, he'll sing an entirely different pitch and when confronted about it he says "ummm *smacks lips* (he legitimately does that) I think I know what I'm doing..." Or something like "I have perfect pitch" when he obviously fucking doesn't
>he will try changing the pitch not by using his vocal chords, but by CHANGING THE SHAPE OF HIS LIPS
>no matter how much we tell him that using his lips won't work, he keeps fucking doing it
>point is, this fucker is the most delusional piece of shit I've ever met

Cont.

kek

>grade 6
>masturbate in class
>had some fucked up dream to jerk off everywhere

Ya that wasn't me the senior, I'm not that much a fag

Alright
>Still 6th grade
>On a field trip to one of those, "Come see how people lived in the olden days" places
>We come up to little cabin
>Guide invites us in
>Me and my asian friend walk up to the door
>"Ladies first" I say, gesturing him ahead
>Social studies teacher from before hears
>"Hey user, stay behind for a sec"
>"Yes?" I say scared
>"Why did you say that? It wasn't funny and it could have really hurt if he actually identified as a girl"
>I had to hold her hand through the rest of the field trip

More?

>4th grade
>all the kids would hang out in the bathroom to talk
>some fucker decided it would be funny to piss in the radiator
>bathroom reeked of piss for months
>had school assembly
>principal pretty much said it's fucked up to do that and they'll find who did it
>MFW it was me

This is on another trip earlier in the year. A movie trip where the entire 8th grade went to an empty theater. This was the first and last time we went on a movie trip that yeat

>Be early December, friday morning
>get ready to go to the movie
>getting hyped up on the bus
>playing pokemon, yelling, ususal 8th grade shit
>me and K are talking about where to sit and getting popcorn and shit
>I tell him about sitting with my gf and asking if he's ok with it
>he seems mad but is ok with it
>get into theater
>get comfy with gf
>she asks me for a drink and popcorn to share
>fuckit.gif
>get on line and get a tub of popcorn with a large slushie
>get back, theater's dark as hell
>whip out phone, turn on flashlight
>ask random friend if he wants popcorn
>turn camera towards him
>see a girl on her knees, giving him a sloppy bj,
>shocked, as i didn't see a bj before, i mean i've seen porn, but not the real thing up until that point
>walk to my seat, gf is happy with popcorn and slushie
>during the movie, get touchy/feely with gf but thats it
>never told anyone about this ordeal, and what i saw

Apparently I wasn't the only one who saw what went down. Teachers were notified and my friend was expelled and relocated to Atlanta for a year, whereas the girl claimed he forced her to do it, and went onto stay at the school and become saludatorian (nigga what)

Alright, now for the actual story.

>be at concert
>we're practicing
>we actually sound pretty good in the church we're singing in
>concert starts in a few minutes, people are coming in
>the guys have to start off the concert, so we're herded into a room that leads out to the stage
>pretty chaotic, some of the guys are ushers and we need them in the room
>we find them and get them in
>12 guys cramped in the same room, which is only about 6x6 ft
>we're in order of how we're supposed to get on stage
>guess who's behind me?

I'll cont. But I'm not sure if anyone is following

how you weren't caught amazes me

yes more

I'm following

im following

Yeah, keep going

This is a story of how I fucked up in elementary
>be me
>grade 5
>me and a few friends like to sit near an air vent past the main doors to the school during recess
>we liked to throw handfuls of rocks into them then hit the deck
>one day get caught and get threatened with ISS or OSS
>nobody else gets in trouble but me and the principle knows other we're involved and let's me off with a warning
>fuckyes.jpg
>later that day we get to play outside for a while
>female friend comes over to me
>tells me that if I ever see user then to hit him in his ever loving balls
>dumbass me goes over to him
>massive fucking grin on my face while he's laughing
>like using fucking Thor's hammer to hit him in the nuts with my fist
>he begins screaming and crying while I walk off laughing my ass off
>get called into the office 30 minutes later
>this time my mother gets called
>she's pissed
>principle cuts more slack and says I can't go on class field trip
>ok

OP here, i got a couple more stories for you guys, if you're still following

Still following

Alright, and so the story progresses.

>the fucking autismo is behind me
>dark as fuck
>everyone in the room is quietly whispering, checking each other's suits and such
>this motherfucker says in a voice louder than everyone's "OKAY EVERYOND BE QUIET!"
>my hands become fists
>audience outside quiets, my teacher makes a pre-concert introduction
>in the middle of the dark, cramped room, the autismo does something to me from behind

Can anyone guess? Cont.

Still following as well

if he didn't jerk off onto your back i'm going to be disappointed

starts jacking off?

Put a finger up your ass?

great minds think alike user

Oh lord

>2 years later
>2 fired principals later
>Social studies teacher from before is now assistant principal
>We have a fire drill
>Me and a friend dick around in the parking lot while everyone else goes inside
>We finally decide to go in
>Find lost autistic kid on our way
>See her outside the door
>ohgodno.jpg
>"Can you boys come into my office"
>We walk in
>"What are you boys doing coming into the school 5 minutes after the drill"
>Friend is about to confess, I stop him
>"We were just helping our friend (let's call him Scott) who got lost on the way in"
>I point to Scott, who is violently twitching
>"Okay, who is your fire drill teacher"
>Friend tells her that's not the teacher who was teaching us after the drill like an idiot
>She doesn't care
>Writes down our names (Including Scott, who was very obviously confused by the situation) and tells us our actions have consequences
>mfw never got in trouble

what? for the love of god what happened

Sadly, it isn't as extreme as you guys would think.

>so, yeah, we're in a dark-ass room
>this motherfucker, after all the phone-snooping, terrible singing, and wanting me to sing
>this motherfucker puts his hand on my shoulder from behind
>complete
>fucking
>silence

I'm gonna be honest. Me and my friends do shit like this all the time and laugh because we know we're screwing around.

>THIS motherfucker had a lipped smile on his face, just touching his black ass hand on my white dress shirt from behind
>I tell ron and mike to look at my shoulder and they start laughing
>I move a bit forward and try to shake him off
>HE TIGHTENS HIS GRIP

I was scared for my life. I didn't know if he had autismo strength or not.

>suddenly, tall charming black friend saves the day
>"hey, man, why are you touching him?" He said in an authoritative black pastor's voice, holy shit this fucker was intimidating
>autismo looks over to him, looks him dead in the eye
>"I wasn't touching him"
>I
>WASNT
>TOUCHING
>HIM

I swear to god I was about to punch this fucker. I honestly feel for those chicks at bars that get felt up by random dudes-- I was perved on by a gay black autistic Demi Lovato clone.

I have two more stories, shorter, but the last one is a bit more climactic. Shall I continue?

OP here, I got a story about my jewish english teacher

>Closer to christmas break
>fuckyes.jpg
>Jewish teacher still giving us lessons
>lessons on surveillance and whatnot
>start talking about the elf on the shelf
>teacher tells us to make arguements on whether or not the doll will make children used to living in a dystopian state
>she then mentions a jewish version of the doll, the mench on a bench
>I silently say "how bout 'hitler on the bench' he kept you guys scared outta your minds!", to K who's next to me
>we start to chuckle
>manlet in our table says it out loud and gets completely meme'd by teacher
>laughing so hard
>manlet ties to kick my ass in gym, i trip him
>win

there's some more for ya Sup Forums, stay tuned

Stop asking and just finish you autistic faggot

8th-10th grade

>knew a tard named Ben, it was short for some foreign unpronounceable name
>had tard strength beyond normal tard strength
>he was tard hulk
>also had anger issues
>kids being kids would make fun of him
>Ben would beat the living shit out of them
>they would try to run
>but there is no escape
>it would take 3 security guys and the Vice Principal who was a retired navy seal to pin the Ben
>eventually kids got smart
>there was occasionally the new wigger who though they were though shit and get the shit kicked out of them
>Ben dindu nuffin every time
>students caught on and it became a game or dare amongst the jocks and niggers to see who piss off ben and get away
>when not angry Ben would skip around singing the muppets treasure island theme song and repeating his name
>eventually he was sent home , deemed too big of a threat to over students

Tell them both. The ending to that greentext was disappointing

It's a benis

more stories of ben kicking ass and taking names pls

kekkkk

honestly this is the best story ITT

>10th
>have this really hot science teacher one of the periods
>walking around in the halls before class
>have a random raging hard on because I'm a horny teen
>pressed against my leg thanks to tight jeans, but outline and bulge is clearly visible
>looking around to see if anybody notices
>still looking around when I walk into class
>Hot teacher is bending down in front of the door, picking up papers she dropped
>bump into her, boner presses into the middle of her ass...hard.
>almost trip so fall forward a little, presses boner harder against her ass, rubbing it slightly.
>we both apologize, she seems flustered and embarrased
>walk to desk and sit
>notice large precum dark spot on thigh
>bestdayoftheyear.gif

It's hard to remember too many specifics, many years ago, I can think of one specificity. I was in special ed so I have loads of tard stories .

>math class
>Ben sits drawing and singing treasure island like usual
>it's disturbing class
>teacher is getting ready to speak up about it
>beta as fuck emo kid named Horace (no really) is already fed up
>tells ben to shut the hell up
>Ben rages and flys over the desks and knocks Horace out cold with a single punch
>teacher and other students don't do anything because they can't
You'd expect people to freak out but by this point everyone was used to it and there was an anti-Ben procedure
>teacher calls up vice principal and security
>Ben goes back to drawing an humming while class resumes untill they come

Did she notice?

I'm guessing she did if she got all embarrassed and flustered, but she didn't say anything to me about it lol.

In middle school, about twice a month I used to pretend to trip or get pushed or something and purposely fall down as many as 8 or 9 steps (had a 3 story 7-12 grade school) just so I could knock people over and make a giant clusterfuck on the steps. I would sometimes do this 4 or 5 times in one trip up the steps, almost always flailing around like an autist and knocking someone over. Once I accidentally kicked this dude square in the chin lmao I played it off as "sorry dude, I slipped on a pencil"

Sorry, was cooking spaghetti. Wanted to see who was still here.

Here we go, I'll just get the more boring back story of this fucker out of the way:

>we go to the nearby middle school to sing for some shit
>girls bring their piece up, guys go to the side and dick around
>the fucker puts his hand on my shoulder again, in front if all of the fucking middle schoolers
>I turn to mike and ron and im like "I'm resisting my urge to fuck this guy's shit" (even though I'm too much of a pacifist/pussy to actually do anything)


And now for the better story.

>cousin and I ride Ron's bus
>guess who else does!!?!!?
>the autismo is actually friends with a fat white chick
>literally tilts the bus when she gets on
>they're talking about dumb shit
>she suddenly asks someone for a pencil
>someone throws it at her and hits her in the face
>she falls back
>the bus practically hits a speedbump when she fell out of the seat and hit the floor
>autismo comes to her rescue
>"H-hey apologize to her!"
>still has fake gay african voice
>the dude who threw the pencil and him start yelling at each other
>autismo goes into a yard rage
>he looks like he's on fire, tearing at his chest and yelling at the air
>meanwhile bus driver is yelling at them to stop and pulling over
>autismo punches the dude
>the chick tells autismo to stop
>get this
>Demi Autismo punches the fat chick, too
>she's still on the fucking ground
>bus driver defuses situation
>he doesn't write autismo up because he has 'issues'

And that was the anticlimactic story of my experience with a black gay obnoxious delusional Bella Thorne who was attracted to me

WOW

ITS FUCKING NOTHING

please do finish though meh OC is better than none

Also maybe try not to be such an insecure manlet about physical content

This story was from march, when state exams were being taken. for some reason, my class and another class have to take test in the auditorium just because we're taking high school math.Test was practice test btw But as usual, hilarity ensues. also, check em.

>Taking test next to K and other friend T.
>cheating off each other like bros
>honor code so no ratting each other out
>finish test an hour in
>checking answers over when all of a sudden
>FULL
>METAL
>TARD
>bolts into auditorium, without wrangler to tke him in
>potato is black, and one of the most annoying ones I've ever had to deal with
>walks around, looking at people's tests
>girl asks him to leave her alone
>he obviously doesn't understand
>gets mad
>takes girl's pencil and snaps it in half
>screams in her face
>friends and i are laughing
>potato runs to us ,
>walks slowly with a face that i think was supposed to thraten me, but just made me laugh even more
>tries to pull the same shit on me that he did to the girl
>before he even touces my pencil, i swipe it away
>"you gotta be smarter than that"
>tard is enraged, puts up fist
>when he tries to swing i block him and throw his punch away
>he's about to unleash his deadliest attack
>masteranireadyforthis.gif
>before he moves
>wrangler grabs him
>drags him away, while he's still sreaming

I have a story of how I hit a girl in a wheelchair with her own shoe two days after I fucked up bullies who were picking on her if anyone is interested.

yes

I wouldn't have given a shit if it was a friend but this fucking dude

You gotta understand that this dude is the equivalent of your creepy uncle steve that snoops in on everything you're doing and says "mmm, you like video games? I got a little game we can play..."

imagine that fucker touching your shoulder

its like that

me

please do

I beat the shit out of a midget
>10th grade
>love of animals that eventually became my undoing as a furfag
>was in wrestling at the time as well
>there was a midget student was a complete shitbag
>one day walking outside he was kicking around a young bird that fell out of a nest
>I see this and rage like a tard
>grapple and pick the fucker up and dump him head first into a garbage bin
>took the bird to the biology teacher
>got suspended
Was worth it

I didn't know you had IceJJFish in your class!
>I feel bad for what you had to put up with, user...

Yeah I know what you mean, something about tards and spergs just seemed unclean back in the day. They smelled weird and looked gross. Aversion to them is understandable.

HAHA HOLY SHIT HE WAS EXACTLY LIKE HIM

god damn I totally forgot about that fucker

>newfags

That guy sounds familiar
Did he obsess over nightmare before Christmas?

Just found this amazing tool....see what celebrity you can leak lmfao snap-leak-cf

lol, sorry, different autistic eggnig

Forst greentext story and on mobile
Here it goes
>be me
>6th grade
>talking about civil war or some shit
>cunt teacher brings in a musket and an mp-40
>teacher explaining how the guns are used
>im familiar
> minute balls
>6th grade
>friend and i laugh at how its reloaded
>teacher yells at us and not allowed to touch guns

you should have spent more time in english class and less time being a cunt and throwing rocks

alright so this was about grade 10? in canada
>first week of high school
>come from athletic family, grew up playing sports but more into music
>in an IB school, so lots of different kids from all walks of life
>heading off to phys ed
>have to transfer from a portable classroom to the main building
>see three troublemaker kids picking on girl who's basically a potato in an electric wheelchair
>girl is 2 grades above me, can't speak unless it's through a program on her computer
>beat the living christ out of 1 kid, other two run away when i start swinging their bro like a baseball bat
>(I was 6' 7" 188 pounds when i was 16)
>don't get in trouble cuz other kids vouch for me, saying shit like "he warned them" etc
i'll cont if u guys want

bump for this

yesss

plz do

You write like your high my friend.

No fucking way!! Oh, praise Kek!

>also should state I had some behavioural difficulties as a youth, so my file in school stated I was a noted trouble maker.
>anyways, tard girl (17 years old) who has never been able to say a word until now, miraculously figures out my name
>chases me around the fuckin halls for 2 weeks straight hoarsely saying my name
>2 weeks of her bombing around the school, following me to football practise, band practise, she would even try and get into the same fucking washroom as me
>one day lose it when she nearly runs my mother over
>"tardgirl, if you don't stop fucking saying my name, I will take your shoe off and beat you with it"
>she gets real misty eyed

cont in next post

9d8kxfr4

>middleschool, math class
>teacher is usually chill but students have been doing bullshit during class so he is kinda on edge
>few girls keep on chatting during class and he loses it
>turns around at the speed of light and launches the piece of chalk he was writing with across the class in the vague direction of them
>utterly misses and hits a different girl in the eye

This was during winter. this will be my last post of the night, i got some shit to do in the morning. I hope thread doesn't 404 so i can read your stories

>January, it was pretty snowy, snowstorm came in hard
>before school me and K are just chilling, drinking arizona and whatnot
>im just sipping on that green tea when suddenly
>some cunts from the 6th grade start to throw snowballs at us and ride away on a bike
>get mad at them, can't run after them, they're on a bike
>K tells me we can get our sweet revenge
>realize we're standing in front of 6th grade classrooms
>masterplan.gif
>make snowballs
>throw them in windows
the plan was to make them melt anywhere in the classroom, to fuck up textbooks or make anyone slip and fall
>walk away to escape scene of crime
>go into class 10 minutes later
>chill since almost no teachers came due to snow
>hear how some kids slipped when walking into their classroom
>keks were had
>flawlessvictory.jpg

good night Sup Forums. hope you enjoyed these stories and i will guarantee you'll have more stories of mine to read in the morning.

nice

>zip zap zooms away and i don't hear from her for three days
>friday, last day of class before winter break, going on class snowboarding trip
>tardgirl absolutely obliterates me
>as i said, 6' 7" 188 pound 15 year old
>like legitimate Looney Tunes vertical body flip
>smack head first onto cement in front of school
>tardgirl backs up and smiles with her witch of the west toothy ass grin
>"user"
>that's it
>fucking lose it
>chase her ass down in her hells angels custom tardmobile
>rip off white loafer
>beat her like she's covered in flies
>like absolutely annihilate this disaster on four wheels
>only teacher around to witness it is football coach
>get stern warning and removed from snowboard trip
>mfw i assaulted a tard and got no punishment whatsoever

>>chase her ass down in her hells angels custom tardmobile

...

Alright, here's one.
>be me
>have already graduated from highschool
>neet but whatever
>have friends going to school still
>they tell me you can get in huge trouble for drawing Pepe
>idea.gig
>print out most of my Pepe collection
>nothing too extreme like Pepe with penis or fucking something
>wait until night
>put on black hoodie and tighten the hood
>assassinscreedasfuck.jpeg
>grab tape and put it in pocket
>go around the school taping Pepes all over the school
>school has no security camaras or guard cause it's safe and relatively in the country
>go back home and be a good boy
>wait until next day
>"user, someone totally put Pepe's all over the place and they're fuckin furious about it!"
>laugh
>I literally frogposted all over the school.
>smirk when I pass by said school

i also have stories of how I caused a substitute teacher to have a mental breakdown and threaten to kill herself
story of how I broke a kids nose the first day of kindergarten
couple other stupid ones