B...

b, my sister told me that she heard some people in one of her classes saying that they were gonna shoot up our school tomorrow. I have to go to school. How do i avoid getting killed?

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youtube.com/watch?v=b3cqhNJkmIs
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cheer as people are gettin assblasted by the neckbeard
maybe he'll like ya

Call cops and tell them what sister said.

Hide somewhere good, bring a defensive weapon to school, like a smallish knife or club, and run really fast. And if you get hit, just stay down and play dead. Or hide under other bodies and play dead.

I would but apparently she's too fucking socially retarded to know their names. All i know is that they're white boys that like hunting.

better bring your own gun and shoot the people you think are going to do it before they kill you. its the only way op

i cant stress this enough, HOLD YOUR FUCKING BREATH

Tell your goddammit parents

If this isn't bait, tell your parents and/or police now

dont go

As soon as somethings up try to get on a roof or something without them seeing you. Or just run out of the school

im sure it's just some shitty rumor, kids are niggers and will say anything to get attention although if the situation does arise get naked, they'll be stunned for a couple of seconds giving you the chance to escape

stop being pussies.

Pull the fire alarm and blame it on your sister.

this.

Be the fastest draw on the day. Kinda sucks if they choose high noon tho.

Also why aren't you worried about your sister? You're a bad brother. I hope they shoot you.

Pretend to be going to school and then just bunk for the day?

>bring gatorade bottle (the sports ones that spray when you squeeze it hard enough)
>fill bottle with bleach/ammonia/any other corossive material in your house
>take it to school, no one will suspect it
>when you hear shooting, hide beside the door
>when he slams it open and starts firing, grab the bottle and smash that fucker with your fist
>the bleach will go flying into his eyes
>shoot him in the testicles as he's in agonizing pain
>go right up to his ear and whisper
>"lol get prankd bicth"

Um...tape it? Don't be a pussy OP

Ez the one thing those edgy faggots do not see coming
>you shoot up the school
beat those sacks of shit to the punch

more like wisper
> nothing personal, kid

i forgot to mention youre fucked if
>his face is protected
>your door's side has windows
>no corrosive things

This

I am very worried about my sister. But i'm also worried about myself and my friends and my boyfriend. I make jokes about school shootings all the time but i've never heard of anyone being serious about it in my school.

(Side note, who said I was a brother?)

no its
"Pssh... nothin' personnel, kidd...."

Tell your parents and give the police a tip. Listen to this guy too.

Might want to wear some sort of protective gear around your torso area as well. Maybe carry a bible over your heart? I've heard of a few stories from soldiers saved by their bibles, but a modern weapon probably has a good chance of tearing right through it.

gonna wait to see it in the news

you'll be okay OP

That's all you have to tell them for them to send a few officers to the school to investigate and do a school-wide search. But this is all bullshit, so who cares anyway.

>worried about sister
>im no brother
>sister

Bring your katana

>mfw you are a femanon
this changes everything
>new plan: find a big strong man
also tits or gtfo advice is not free

youre right. sorry user

>mfw I read this

5/10

needs more heelies and eggs

offer your body to the shooters
has never failed any women in the history of ever

What??

I've been trying to figure out what you're saying by this for 2 whole minutes but I can't.

Are you saying that I can only have siblings if I have a dick?? What????

agreed

but its bait for sure

oh wow.
> tits or gtfo bitch
dont come here trying to act like there isnt something inherently wrong with being female

Man up and bring your own guns. When shit finally hits the fan just shoot random people so you can purge your soul and then just wait for the cops to blame the other guys of your murders.

>hear gunshots down the hall
>slather yourself in vasoline
>fucking noticeably cake yourself in it
>Stand in the middle of your classroom
>get a semi-chub going
>vigorously helicopter your dick the second the door opens

You'll still die, but heed my words when I say you will truly go out in a blaze of glory

>women on Sup Forums trying to handle school shooters

yeeeeee nah. Bullshit.

In any case first things first pic related.

i found out a while ago that you could be a femanon, forget my post

shooter is after crowds and any one he has beef with stay away from crowds and get out quickly if you have a weapon bring in case even a knife will do

It doesn't really change anything. And you're a fucking newfag, tits or gtfo is only said when a gril asks for favors because of her gender.

lmao this guy has the right idea

Stand behind the fat guy

tits or gtfo

tits or gtfo

OP implicated her sex into this for no reason
thus tits or gtfo

what school and state Sup Forumsro ill look for it on da news

ok, you my friend do not belong here and need to remove yourself immediately.

tits required

Somebody said i was a bad brother, I corrected them because I am in fact a mediocre/horrible sister. It doesn't change anything (except for being able to execute earlier user's idea of helicopter dick).

Try shooting up the school. Might work.

???? OP?????

Branson high school, Missouri

Taytays or gtfo

>b-but my hair!

if your desks are made of any kind of metal that can take a bullet, topple it while trying to look as dead as possible, even if it takes soiling yourself with your mates' blood.

Feast your eyes, boys ;^)

Now really, everyone I love might get murdered tomorrow, please help

Listen I am just going to save you some time and headache
This thread is going pretty much nowhere until we get some form of tits with a timestamp
white knights are going to come in and get in a shit fight with everyone else, and no one will be talking about the shooting.
>tldr you should not have told us you are a chick give tits +time stamp or leave

Fuck i forgot the image

y'all are fucking ruining it. If some white kids have the guts to actually carry out there plans, so be it. Just don't go to school OP. Hopefully they'll kill the people you hate.

someone screencap this thread, we might appear on the news kek

Call the police immediately.
Don't go to school and don't let your sister go either.

hold up it sounds like you are in high school
>PREPARE BOYS
>ITS HAPPENING

>Now really, everyone I love might get murdered tomorrow, please help

i sure fucking hope so

Don't be an idiot. Names are not important. Call the police now.

>because I am in fact a mediocre/horrible sister
Also a terrible user

> It doesn't change anything
yes it does. Women can't do anything right - especially in this situation. One of you should have been a boy - your parents failed you both by having you both as girls. Have fun being dead I guess I hope you both get killed so I can check autopsy photos out of Branson Missouri for ur sweet loli bodies.

try this youtube.com/watch?v=b3cqhNJkmIs

Call the fucking cops and tell them you idiot.

stay away from crowds bitch

It already happened. I replied with a pair of tits. delicious cheesy pizza pie

Waiting

checkem

satanic trips of truth

Its like you want to get shot tomorrow

tell her to fake kidney stones works every time

o sorry i get it now
>you are a horrifically rancid faggot
hope they get you first pussy
see you on the news bitch

Ok, fuck it, forget what I said. I'm not actually a girl, I just like the attention. But i'm not lying about the shooting thing. Please help me.

thats a pair of great tits right there

Wait no more, the image is on the post you replied to

I GOT IT OP!
just kill yourself and your sister before school tomorrow, that way the school shooters dont win and we dont have to deal with the possibility of either of you posting here again

This thread is a Matryoshka doll of faggotry

stop lying tits or gtfo

everyone abandon thread

i agree with this man. like the mother mary said, let it be

post dick then you gay ass faggot

Ayy, femanon here, I live near there. You have two options here.

Either be a snitch and give a tip to the police so they close the school down for a day, or let the shit happen and just move on with your life. Like someone else said, maybe they'll liberate some of the people you hate. Just make sure your socially retarded sister doesn't go to school.

>we dont have to deal with the possibility of either of you

yep I'm good with that.

Anyone wanna second that motion?

OP, skip school and let it be

>Find biggest, strongest alpha male on campus (preferably nigger or nigger-like)
>Have him fuck the ever loving shit out of you in the hallway once the shooting starts
>Beta fag white males will drop their weapons, realizing they've been cucked once again
>Instinctively bow down and spread their asscheeks for King Bubba
>Nigger destroys their internal organs with his 36 inch AIDS baster
>Shooters killed, mission accomplished

Idiot, call the police. Call the school.
Save some lives and stop being an ass.

if you don't feel your life is too worthy, actually go to school and try to be the hero.

It's not like she would ever post here anyway. And have i really affected your life that much by starting one thread ?

If you actually had to go to Sup Forums to figure out you should call the police after hearing serious reports of a school shooting (which this is almost certainly not) then you deserve to die by virtue of natural selection

Just ditch after you get there.

Or you could call the police.

2nd;ed

Was this a Beatles reference, user?

enjoy being questioned by the local authorities OP

but if you're pretty sure that there will be a school shooting, make some calls, keep it from happening.