Ok, Sup Forumsros, I bought a 14lbs of brisket from Walmart

Ok, Sup Forumsros, I bought a 14lbs of brisket from Walmart.

So, who has the best recipe?

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corn it

ketchup

in b4 raging europoors

...

Throw it in a crock pot with a can of dr pepper for 8 hrs on low. Last hr add your favorite bbq sauce.

I don't have a crock pot large enough.

Cut it two and freeze the other half you tard.

1) get yourself a big pan, add oil, let it heat up
2) drink a little wiskey in order to make sure if it's good
3) take the meat out of the plastic, put it in a bowl
4) add salt and water in order to get remaining blood out
5) drink some more wiskey
6) put the meat out of the bowl, get rid of the water
7) fill 8 glasses with wiskey and rub the meat with salt, pepper, honey and pulverized bell pepper
8) drink 2 more glasses of wiskey and pour normal pils beer over the meat in a bowl
9) let it sit overnight in the fridge, use that time to drink the remaining glasses of wiskey
10) wake up in order to find out that you ordered pizza which you can't really recall, but eat a cold slice and brew extremely strong coffee
11) take out the meat and realize the oven was on the entire night, but luckily nothing happend, turn it off
12) turn on the smoker outside and put the meat in there at low temperature, open another bottle of wiskey
13) take a glass of wiskey, and invite friends in about 4 hours
14) watch football while drinking more wiskey and pouring a little bit of that beer marinade over the meat every half hour
15) once your friends arrive drink some more wiskey and hand out the meat

Option 1:
Follow justice, bury it and never buy meat again.
Option 2:
Be a psychopath who eats pieces of dead animals for "taste", and then pay the consequences, like a long lasting agony from the diseases caused by eating meat and dairy.

you make it so obvious it's not even fun to say "spotted the vegan"

Throw it out and buy good meat from a local source.

The crazy store called. They're out of you.

Beautiful

Spot the vegan

Then say "spotted the mentally sane".

I don't believe you.
You're just trolling to get people to hate vegans more.

10/10 would recommend

kekd at 11

my spleen disagrees with you

Oh you're right... raping someone to steal her newborn in order to mutilate, beat, imprison, and kill him after a few months for "taste", that's something absolutely sane. 0% psychopathy.

Nothing less sane than to hate on eggs and dairy

How do you feel about eating vat-grown meat?

You know what... life is already all flowers and joy, so why not add to the equation a useless "food" that causes cancer, obesity and clogs arteries. That's a smart thing to do! We don't like it too easy.

vegetard detected, man up son

Not immoral if nobody is harmed, but very unhealthy and disgusting.

Jesus Christ, dude.

Marinate in ass for 24 hrs with ketchup, brown sugar, hot sauce and chopped onions, Remove from ass & grill

Man up = do the right thing, have respect, speak the truth.
Man up != act unjust to conform

That's the standard animal farming procedure. Totally insane.

If its fresh enough you can thinly slice it and eat it raw. Maybe with a bit of soy sauce or wasabi or rice.

Jk you bought it from walmart.

Rub it down with Chicago or Montreal steak seasoning then smoke it for a bazillion hours.
Man, now I need to go buy a brisket.

That was actually directed towards you, you fucknut. How about you stop exaggerating, grab a piece of juicy meat and stuff it in your mouth, so you will shut up for second.

I always eat 3 dead animals by meal atleast

Hey mister vega, look up a dairy cows life, ShindoL has your back

Then you will suffer for eating 3 dead animals by meal atleast. You can't escape it, your body was not designed to do that.

Not the entire animal you dingus

That's not exaggerating, that's exactly what happens.
I don't stuff meat in my mouth because harming others for no valid reason is unjust.

First off, score it with a knife. Add a good spice rub. I like to use a little honey, molasses, and liquid smoke that I rub on the meat, then my spices. What kind of spice rub you want will vary depending on your tastes. Once you've got your rub on, let it sit in the fridge overnight.

Next, you throw it in the oven at 350 for about an hour. Let it develope a bit of a crispy bark on the outside. Pull it out, add some beef stock, a can of coke, and a pouch of that dry onion soup mix. Cover the pan in tinfoil, then turn the heat down to 250 and let it cook for another 8 hours or so.

Pull it out, wrap it in tinfoil, wrap that in a towel, and let it sit and rest for half an hour to an hour. Pull out, slice nice and thin, and top with your favorite BBQ sauce.

Do the right thing = eating meat, it's what we were designed to do, only left wing retards believe otherwise

id rather suffer from a "disease" than the mental retardation vegans have

Fat fuck

Cry me a river then.

And science.

Can someone confirm this as feasible? I can't tell if it's just unusual or outright trolling.

I don't. I just remind you that you will suffer.

Can you barbeque brisket?

And Hillary voters

Rub it with 2:1:1 salt, pepper, granulated garlic
Smoke it at 250 for 6 hours until a good bark forms. Use fruit wood like cherry or apple
Wrap in foil and continue at 250 until internal temp reaches 195
If you don't have a smoker this can be done carefully on a well monitored Weber kettle.

Cooking a brisket indoors or in a Crock-Pot is complete faggot status.

no thats a really good recipe idea

go gnaw on some tree bark faggot

>"Meat" from Walmart.

cooking it on the grill takes too much time and effort

easy>hard

Why would I suffer for eating meat?
Oh wait, does that have something to do with your concept of hell and heaven?

Who were you calling psychopatic again?

>science

Like the global warming is "man made" science lol

...

Marinate in soy and garlic

I do crossfit 2 Times a days and eat healthfully i'm not a fkin monkey like you i need my meat and my proteins

Some people live in apartments and don't have access to a smoker or BBQ.

Coming from a person that owns a restaurant that cooks pulled brisket, pork and lamb in huge amounts (because of the popularity) for over 4 years - simpy sear it from all sides, then rub a mix of: salt, sugar, pepper, paprika, cayenne, onion powder, garlic powder and cumin, then place in a baking tray with onions, garlic, carrots, rosemary and bay leaves, cover half way with water, cover with cling film and bake for at least 10 hours at 110-130 degrees. After that you get to pull it with either a fork or special claws, add the remaining baking stock to it with your own made or shop bought barbecue sauce.

You dont have to use all of those spices i mentioned: 1 measure of salt, pepper, 0.5 measure of sugar, 0.25 measure of paprika and cayenne should be ok. I use at least 10 more spices for the brisket :)

you know you can post whatever you want on b right?

fucking faggot.

Yeah man from what I gather alot of them have full on meat departments...the one near me doesn't, but I've heard rumors....

newfag, i dont want this shit replacing my lolis

No, it has to do with atherosclerosis, weight gain and cancer.

fake news

Actually, humans are defined as frugivores in biology.
And, all the studies show that the best health is obtained by vegans.

As a 42yo, fit and very healthy omnivore I poop on your weak sauce.

You don't need any protein from animals. The studies on healthiest and longest living population showed they were all vegans and ate 95% carbs.
Protein obsession is just marketing bullshit, go check the science.

Rub
-------------
1/2 cup paprika
1/4 cup Kosher salt
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup cumin
1/4 cup chili powder
1/4 cup fresh cracked black pepper
2 Tbsp cayenne pepper

Apply rub, let chill in refrigerator overnight. Remove from refrigerator while you bring smoker up to temp, 225-250 (I prefer to start out at the higher end so there's a little more heat when you put the meat in and drop to 225 after an hour or so). Give another light dusting of rub and put in smoker with the fat cap up.

Smoke with 50/40/10 combination of oak, hickory, cherry woods for at least 6 hours. If you like a strong smoke flavor, keep the smoke going for longer. Time is usually 90 minutes per pound, but it's better to go by temp. 185 internal temp if you're going to slice it (which you should since it's brisket) or 200-205 if you're going to be an r-tard and pull it.

omnivore = can't be very healthy
sorry, it's science.

Nigger we are physically, literally omnivores. You have to jump through hoops to get by without meat and be healthy.

True, we need a lot less than we typically eat, but your tee-totaling isn't any better.

I'm starving

You keep telling yourself that and have a great day!

Throw it in the garbage and go to a real butcher. What kind of autistic spazoid tries to do brisket with shitty meat.

No, ve are physically frugivores 100% vegans.
It's biology, sorry, i didn't make it.

Wtf is wrong with you

Stop listening to your hippies medias that create fake science threads just to feel special. I'm not a cow i need my fat ans my proteins, eating grass won't make my health better

>[citation needed]

Global warming, lol

I don't say that, bring your complaints to the universities.

vegan=cant be very sane

science nigger

>there's not pain if done quickly
>cutting the tendons with a bolt cutter

This sounds like a great recipe.

guess you didnt make it thru biology class either

It gets only better. I suggest the read.
exhentai.org/g/812883/fd8f99e586/

Learn to grill. Necessary life skill.
youtube.com/channel/UCMb_jTYA_oFqJVJneNUH0Zg

>implying liberal universities full of brainwashed faggots are arbitrators of truth

You are literally saying that very thing right here and now...just because you're parroting some wonky crap you believe to be actual "science" doesn't mean you're not saying it...now take your carrots and other rabbit food and kindly fuck off.

>liberals are brainwashed

also, lrn how to >imply, limpdick

thats why I only kill my beef with a sniper rifle round to the head from 350 yards

quick painless humane

Hell, that's a recipe for life.

>> implying liberal universities ever made any claim as such.

>implying they havent

Basics of anatomy:
Cuvier - Animal Kingdom
Charles Darwin - Descent of man
Linnaeus - Amoenitas Academicae
Thomas Bell
etc.

Plus, all studies show that best health is obtained without animal products, which cause diseases:
Loma Linda University (CA): Adventist Health Studies
Cornell: China-Oxford-Cornell
Oxford: EPIC studies
and so on.

Citations and proofs of humans being designed to eat meat: zero.

We need more Brisket threads!

Nigger our brains evolved to their current size and function as a direct result of inventing the barbeque.

Nope, humans are defined as omnivores and it's scientifically proven that vegan diets need additional vitamins and minerals due to not eating the necessary meat quota's.

Read up on it.

agreed...not only for the for the meat of it but for the fact that it seem to trigger "vegans" and other assorted morons

Lol I'd eat you too if it was legal faggot, grass fed always tastes better. Go judge some tigers for eating animals too, just because we have a fucked up commercial meat system doesn't mean we're not omnivores

time.com/4252373/meat-eating-veganism-evolution/

That makes no sense, since you get the best health without any meat.

Nope, anatomy says humans are not omnivores, and in fact they get the best health without any meat.
These are facts, sorry.