Near Death experience

Near Death experience
>Be me
>be a stupid 7 year old
>Take a piss in the public bathroom
>Confuse the exit door with a room full of water that was actually being fillied
>Fall
>Some how i managed to turn around and grab a rope that was holding broom sticks
>Got all wet
>Some how pulled my self out of ther
>Worry that my parents will get mad because im all wet and lost my shoe

A room full of water? What? user are you hallucinating again or just trying to be a new maymay?

wait.. how was this near death again?

> Be 5, living in Dublin. Take bus with fam, I'm the youngest and only boy. Princestatusachieved.
Swimming in Coolock, manage to drown apparently. I remember interacting with friendly fish. Apparently it's what I was chattering about on the gurney. It wasn't unpleasant.

when i was 14 i was shot twice in the chest with a Beretta loaded with hollow points. does this count?

Was the shooter black?
Was the shooter your dad/uncle?

I'd give that a pass user.

shooter was Asian and i had never met the person before.

wat fuk?
and he missed your heart?
Hard-drug-dealing gang member or something?
Was it at night, in a shitty part of a larger town?
They ever catch him?
You live in/near California by any chance?

i live in texas
he barely missed my heart.
the kid wanted to be a serial killer, i had never met him before and he chose my house at random.
I was actually living in an upperclass neighborhood believe it or not.
Yes they caught him and no, i live in texas.
Also yes, it was at night.

Holy shit

How does that make you feel about gun control?

>be me
>get shitfaced drunk with friends
>puts on bulletproof vest
>tell friend to shoot me
>gets shot while chugging a beer
>fall down and spill my beer
>recover my spilling beer
>more concerned for the beer than myself
>take of vest and see a hole
>shirt has a hole and bloody
>pull up shirt and see the wound
>I look at it and my buddys see it
>"that vest didnt do shit"
>friends and I start laughing hysterically
>laughing begins to hurt
>the pain only makes it funnier
>laugh even harder with friends
>laugh finally dies down
>finish the beer
>black out
>wake up in the hospital
>"you almost died user, bullet was centimetres away from an artery"

I forget what specific artery it was but my bros and I still drink hard liquor and beer every now and than, we still talk about what happened and kek

if HE had a gun then the Asian wouldn't have been able to shoot him

gun control only applies to those who follow the rules, bad people will still find ways to get firearms so by effectively disarming or making it harder to acquire fire arms for the percentage that actually follows the rules does nothing but ensure fewer are armed who could possibly protect you when something like that happens.

Nice, so by surviving and identifying him you may have saved a whole chain of people and helped preserve Cho's highscore from asian competition, even.

Any enduring health problems from it, lung problems? Shrapnel or pass clean through?

>political shillposting in a NDE thread
classic

Or maybe they'd have both been shot.

A liberal who doesn't understand guns? Woah.
Dude just stop human beings from knowing how to make controlled explosives that push projectiles down metal tubes, this is super advanced murderscience which cannot and will not be easily replicated in every garage.

I carried one bullet in my back for an entire year, so it comprimised my immune system, other than that my injuries were as follows;
>4 broken ribs
>2 holes in my stomach
>2 lacerations on my liver a grade 4 and grade 2
>collapsed diaphram as well as both lungs
>2 feet of lower intestines removed
>gall bladder had to be removed
>they had to cut through all of my stomach muscles when they were trying to dig around for the last bullet which they couldn't find because it was too close to my spine.

2003 was driving a ford bronco wasn't even mine
Pulled into turning lane and was stopped waiting for an opening. I hear tires burn, didn't see it
Driver in a ford something, small car flys out into the turning lane
Rams the back of the ford bronco i was driving
the car goes under the bronco and lifts it onto the grill, i am litterally holding the steering wheel looking right down at the concert. The last thing i remember thinking was
"fuck iam dead"
The bronco flipped 3 times, threw me out of the back drivers side glass
>i wasn't wearing a seat belt
The bronco landed on my chest. Didn't crush me
woke up in hospital, arm was broke in 3 places, and had to have plastic surgery to re-attach my ear.

after leaving the hospital it was almost a full year before i got into another vechile, another 3 before i could drive, I would get so mad at myself!!! I would think
"OK user JUST GO TO STORE AND GET A DRINK" Goodtogo.jpg
Grab keys walk to truck.. BOOM panic attack
can't breath, dizzy shaking.

Over it now, driving all healed up, driving anxiety pretty much gone for the most part

Holy shit he literally blew you the fuck out, congrats on not being triggered to death.

Chemical sensitivity/metal fuckery still, or did your immune system get back to normal?

> Me depressed
> Me wanting to kill myself
> Walking to train tacks
> I get to train tracks i sit there for 10 minutes
> I hear train coming the train is now 15 seconds away from me
> My life flashes before my eyes my fam my friends my new fags i shouldnt kill myself
> i then jump out of the way before the train could hit me

I had not told anyone this till now but i think it is meaningless to kms.

my body eventually sealed the bullet into a fleshy pod/capsule type deal so it was really cool when they cut it out of me the nurse was like check this out and chunked it into a piss cup filled with hydrogen peroxide and i got to see it all dissolve so that was kind of cool. My immune system is still a bit compromised, i get sick often and can barely keep up physically with all the young kids at my job and so jobs don't really understand so i bounce from job to job. Unfortunately my college fund got ate up from all of the medical bills so im trying to work my own way but its hard when you have 45% lung capacity. Also to be fair before this whole thing happened i was kind of debating on killing myself.

I did the same but I was 100% going to do it, I even fell asleep on the tracks, woke up and I was like damn im cold. Surprised no train killed me becauae usually theres always a train going by. I fell asleep on the tracks for about 4-5hrs

I was around 5 or 6 when I rolled down a hill with my bike and fell and managed to tear my head open as I met the concrete sidewalk, I'm surprised you can't see the scars today. The stitches still itch sometimes tho.

Shit sucks, try to get a job in data entry. I did it for a year or so as a temp (good way to go, they won't be spooked about hiring you), it's boring, often rushed and stressful, but you can sit the fuck down and not worry about everything. I mean, if you do you should stay somewhat active outside of work to not fall apart physically, but it might be a lot easier. Take one of those easy typing tests online and see how fast you can type, I type 70WPM but was like 50WPM during the job and was more than enough, just have to pay attention.

Pay was a little more than minimum wage tbh, but not awful.

I guess now that this truly based asian madman killed part of you you can fly free of your suicidal tendencies and existential crises knowing that a part of you has already died and rotted away in the sweet emo sleep of ded.

yeah id love to do data entry and my WPM is at 95-100ish depending on how much i have had to drink but all of those jobs around me kind of dried up. Honestly though i didn't think of killing myself as emo, i just saw how i had almost no will power to do anything and thought my life through if i continued onto that point that i would never do anything meaningful so i may as well skip to the end like i do in my video games with cheat codes. I had no real feelings about it either way, it just seemed easier.

>
>I did the same but I was 100% going to do it, I even fell asleep on the tracks, woke up and I was like damn im cold. Surprised no train killed me becauae usually theres always a train going by. I fell asleep on the tracks for about 4-5hrs
You're already dead user. You just don't realize it. Death is funny like that. You won't remember dying. You'll wake up seemingly where you were when you died. Except this isn't that same reality anymore. You're dead back there. Your family buried you and cried over you, except from your POV, you're still alive. But the reality is, the second you died your consciousness was transferred into your body in an alternate universe where the train has never come.

What kinds of things do you think were said about you at your funeral wake? Do you think people spoke well of you?

Alternate universe might explain why drumpf won. I suppose all the world's dead have to end up somewhere o.O but then where do we go from here? Just a more insane alternate earth?

I once fell off my bike in a downhill and it landed on my head, my helmet was wrecked and I almost had my left arm broken, but doctor said bc thanks family I have strong bones and wore a helmet, otherwise I could have cracked my skull 300km from the nearest hospital, and I thought thick head was a bad thing

Haha I like this guy even if he's lying

not lying, but thanks for playing.