Ask a telemarketer anything

Ask a telemarketer anything.

When are you allowed to hang up?

What percent of people are stupid enough to buy shit they don't need from a random asshole that calls them right in the middle of dinner?

My managers aren't that strict and don't do auditing regularly, so pretty much whenever.

Surprising amount of people.

how much do you make? is the commission good, or is it mostly hourly?

Is length of call a performance metric? Could I simply set the phone down to help you pad your stats? Could we talk about something unrelated?

I already had little faith in humanity. It's all but gone now.

I'm not even close to being the best in my office, but the commission even for me is a decent incentive to try a bit harder.

No, it's the opposite really. Long calls are looked down upon.

Assume that I won't make a purchase no matter what you say, then: Would you prefer that I immediately hang up, or let you walk through your script and then politely decline?

Customers acting like they're interested when they're really not really pisses me off.

Do you have a minimum on how long you have to wait to terminate a call? If I say "I'll go get my dad/mom/etc" and just set the phone down, how long would you wait?

Do you ever ask what are you wearing?

What other metrics do you have besides sales made? Is there anything I could do to help without spending money?

Do you touch yourself while talking to children?

There is no "minimum" to when we can terminate the call, if someone says that I usually wait thirty seconds or so then I hang-up. Kind of a relief when I don't have to deal with people for even just a little second.

No, but some people ask me that.

Well the thing about our office is the service we offer is (technically) free, the customer then gets calls in the future offering them the paid product.

Whenever a minor gets on our list, I always have to deal with an angry parent calling me a pedophile.

Have you ever made a call from the toilet?

My call center isn't one of the fancy ones with the wireless, one-ear headsets. We use cheap Logitech wired headsets so we have to pause our dialer before going anywhere.

So you're a pro-bono telemarketer? Are you truly this stupid?

Why are you contacting me? Can't you tell I'm having dinner?

Why is your accent always so thick and hard to interpret when I call asking for assistance?

I feel I'd have more success dealing with a wild baboon operating the line.

Would you tell me your real name if I asked? Would your managers not give a shit and play along if you lied about it?

Something like that, except it isn't out of the kindness of our hearts, we forward their information to other telemarketers.

Lol

I'm not a foreigner, but sometimes I will answer the line like an absolute retard.

I've told people my real name before; can't answer the second question because I've never falsified it before.

have you ever wondered what it would feel like to suck a log of shit from andy sixx's asshole?

nah

How often have you said Allah ackbar over the phone?

Do you actually smell like curry?

Wouldn't you make more money working at seven eleven?

I'm not a sand nigger.

do you ever have phonesex with your customers?

Have you ever been mistaken for a latino?

has an old person ever made a comment along the lines of "nobody ever calls me anymore"?

I want to play hold music over the phone. What would you prefer?

Obviously I don't endorse this type of behavior over the phone but people have said things like "You ever snort cocaine off a hooker's ass before?" and such.

They don't directly say anything like this, but I've had a lady keep me on the line for thirty minutes once because she was so lonely.

Play some racist music or something, keep me entertained.

you aint a telemarketer then

its robots and east indians on the telemarketer game in 2017 user

You're not wrong, my company takes advantage of one of those two things.

is it robo calls? Do you know of any infinite loops you can put them into? I normally do nothing until they time out

If the robot asks for your consent for something (typically towards the beginning or end of the call), do not give it. Depending on the origin of the call, the robot might either timeout or start trying to convince you to consent.

Insurance.