How to I kill the family dog without getting caught and seeming suspicious?

How to I kill the family dog without getting caught and seeming suspicious?

Fill meatballs with large doses of some pills you have lying around. Google for what works best.

But I want to humanely kill it

Kill your self fagget

>get 2 guns
>Shoot dog with 1 gun
>put a couple rounds in the wall with 2nd gun
>put 2nd gun and some drugs on dog
>claim dog shot first and you were just defending yourself

Throw off of cliff

I would also like to know this. Still living with parents and our hound never stops barking at everything and biting the shit out of anyone who tries to do anything he doesn't like.

top fucking kek

I need to ask about the neighbor's dog. They got some awful "vocal" dog that whines or barks very loudly whenever it's awake.

take it out in the forest, bash its head in and throw it deep in the forest, say it ran away

The reasons I want to kill my dog are because he shits and pisses on the floor even though I let him out, he goes through our garbage, and he somehow gets into the fridge and eats all the food.

>ITT Angry teens and edgy betas

Thats the reason?
Wow.

Train the dog or convince ur family to give the dog away.
Its not the dogs fault, ur just to dumb to deal with him like a dog owner would do

Let it fuck your ass over and over and die through pleasure. You can do it water boi

Not bad, but I want something a bit more humane. I fucking hate the dog but I don't want it to suffer. I just want it to be gone

Bruh thats what dogs usually do when the trainer dont teach em

Ur one lazy motherfucker nigger

leave doggo alone ;_;

What about just give doggo away instead just fckin kill him

What else am I supposed to do. I tried to train it. I've tried getting him to stop the shit he does. He's already 5 years old and he still does the same shit. I can't give him away either

>Too lazy to train the dog

potassium cyanide, son. quick and easy.

FUCKING TRUCK THE SON OF A BITCH

If your dog doesn't act right they only one at fault is yourself. You have to train the dog. If you can't handle that then give it away to a shelter, so someone who's not a piece of shit can train it unlike yourself

Then get proffesionell help by doggo trainer

Just kill him is the lazy way out

Ask Hitler

put a shitload of salt in all his food/water

I don't think you understand the fact that I've tried to train him. I tried. He just doesn't listen

Isn't chocolate bad for dogs? Feed him chocolate!

You just won +20 internet

What are you Richard Kuklinski

Then you failed because you are lazy or stupid. Why not just move out, you useless sack of shit?

Just run it over with your car faggot

Then try again, dogs don't always get it right the first time, bro.

>not this
>no not that
>more humane pls
kys faggot, you finally figured out you actually love the shit box, so go stick your dick in it

Why the fuck would I move out. It's my house

No.
You arent doin it right, all doggos can be trained, its just about how you do.
Saying "i tried" is "ive failed cause im a dumbass"

And kill a fucking innocent dog because he isnt teached right ist just cringe over 9000.
Just wow.

Its like dump your whole computer because your BIOS is not working.

no i just read books and read they used potassium cyanide pills AKA suicide pills in WW2.

How about you give it to a shelter where they'll actually care about it and train it properly, you fucking piece of trash. Why does the dog have to die because you're a shitty owner

>dog poo's in house
>yells at dog in english
>i tried training

Go on YouTube and search for different training methods. Also what kind of dog are we talking about ?

>purchased pet
>never trained it
>want to kill it

Imagine if op has a kid some day. Jesus christ.

>Blausäure

>gets into the fridge and eats all the food

That is fucking hilarious OP

Okay how do we kill op, hes pissing and shitposting everywhere
>cant give him away

>dog takes OPs house from him

Eventually OP is going to get cucked by dog

It's your parents house. You are too autistic to have a real job so you live at home. A parasite. Your family hates you, and they like the dog more than you. You should kill yourself, everyone will be happier.

Bullet to the brain.

>use rare and hard to get chemical to kill animal you live with

OP, just find a new home for it ffs.

I bet OP's mom is gonna do the same thing when she realized she fucked up, and that's why he's the way he is today

>gets kid
>tries to train it to be good
>turns into a shitposting megafag who thinks killing animals is fun and games
>"welp, time to dispose of it"

80% are saying ur just an autistic fagit op.

Train the dog or give it away.

Whack it with a shovel until it stops twitching, can't deny it's be fun. Though to be discrete, try either poisoning its food, take it for a walk to a forest stick a muzzle on it and tie it to a tree and walk away. You can do a lot really so long as it's wearing a muzzle, that way it can't cry out in pain and alert anyone nearby.

Alright, since people don't want me to kill it, how can I give it away quickly?

>dog fucks wife
>wife leaves with dog
>OP loses custody of kids
>dog becomes legal guardian

Drive to nearest animal shelter
Give them doggo

Problem solved

Show picture of doggo, what does it look like?

>hit dog hed with hammar
>film it
>sell vidoe
< ...
>profist ?

How have you been training him? By the looks of you I could imagine your training to consist of yelling at him to stop and explaining to him why he should not do this. This will not work because doggos do not speak human.

Get a professional to train him or take a course on it yourself if you can bring yourself to that level of commitment towards your dog.
Then proceed to pass along the message to all your non-dog owner friends to not get one unless they know how to raise an animal, unlike you.

And I suppose, finally, would be the mandatory KYS FAGGOT

4g of Xylitol (Birch Sugar) per kilogram should do the trick

Antifreeze. Drink enough Antifreeze until your piss turns bright green, then piss on the dog.

Run your hand down the base of your dogs back while its lying down you should be able to feel its spine, count five bumps down from its shoulder blades and stop being a faggot because dogs don't have a magic button on their spine that will kill them and you won't her more humane than pills retard

Also feed the fucker chocolate that's like dog killing 101 Jesus christ

Oh my god.

The solution for ur problem op

So hard to accomplish

Good luck with that

Try to find a actual owner first, tell them it was never fully potty trained though.

If you can't find a "No Kill" shelter. Doggo will be given more of a chance.

>Shelter
>Actually care
Pick Juan

fuck off faggot, you're part of the 2% here that want doggo dead

DEATH BY HULK PISS

banana peel
dog will fall and break neck
not suspicious

...

Train the pupper you fug

Idk what to say. I helped "train" a dog years ago but really that was cause my mom wanted a dog and i was going to spend alot of time with it. That dog turned out fine and ill be bummed the day she goes (which will be soon, shes really old now) and im in no way qualified to train any animal. Then there is my current dog who is awesome but likes chewing on my kids stuff. As long as it isnt lying around its fine but we buy him toys and bones (he loves the bones and will chew and play for a few days till he wrecks them) but always goes back to my kids stuff like toys. But im not gonna get rid of him cause hes totally earned his status to stay. He plays rough with me but is gental with my kids. It took just a week to potty train. He sleeps at the doors of my kids room so i feel he earned it to stay.

Animals do have personalities and sometimes they can be hard to deal with. Kinda like people, you cant just kill them. But hey atleast you cangive them up like a kid. Not your dog? Ask owner to deal with the issue or move.

OP is too busy blowing cock.

He needs to give it away.

Like i said too lazy to train the dogo

So predictable

He asked for a quick solution to getting rid of it, and I provided that. No one said anything about him needing to care about it.

Yes he has to give it to the caring people of Sup Forums.

>old doggo
>cant hold in any longer
Well thats understandable then, my doggo used to lay on pee because he had too bad of arthritis to get up. Had him put down.

Got a 15 year old Dobie now, refuse to let go of her. She is randomly super active and happy. Has accidents once a week, no pee tho.

...

>crosses arms
>glares at screen
>scoffs

Tips on how to kill a llama? Sick of this aashole chewing my clothes and knocking shit off the counter in the kitchen. The kettle is fucking broken now I have to use a pot to heat hot water for coffee.

The fucking thing gets hard and splurges its 2litres of jizz all over the carpet too.

Feed it and jack it off daily.

Too humane.

i live in a civilized world you fucking tool fuck off to whatever rock you crawled out under from you sick fuck

Spooky spooooky

Imagine you where a Llama and you didn't get pussy and your owner forgot to feed you.

Neither did I.
I was implying that shelters do not care about the dogs.
You need to work on your comprehension skills.

I went through shit with my gf's chihuahua.

>Be me
>New wood floors installed with crown molding freshly painted and caulked all around
>dog is old as shit, approx. 18 years old
>no matter how many times i take it outside still shits and pisses inside
>piss and shit is done at beautiful white crown molding and caulking
>stains it a nasty mustard color
>got fed up
>call nearest pound
>they wont take it in to give for adoption
>only option os to put down
>PERFECT
>take dog in
>get called in room
>they ask if i wanna stay and hold him
>Na, im gonna leave
>I leave
>No more dirty fucking dog

OP here, good job taking the bait. you honestly thought I was going to kill a dog. I don't even have a dog.

I feed it some potatoes pasta and some carrots each day

Oh, hey there satan

If legit you must lead a very fulfilling life.

Congratulations.

Btw, pic related was not our dog, but a friends grandparents dog. Those idiots let the dog suffer with some type of arthritis for many years. Could not walk or barely eat. Had to be carried out to shit and piss in the yard then carried back in. That pic there, the dog was frozen in freezer KEK died the nigt before ans they wanted to preserve it some before burying next day

dont be a faggot punch it in the head

So no one knows how to kill a llama? The fucking things named Tina god i fucking hate it my mom calls it her son

If people know you don't like the family dog, and the dog disappear, they'll know it's you. Period.

Sure, I know exactly how to kill a llama.
Shoot it through the heart, that ought to do the job.

People like you are the reason why I keep coming back to this hellhole.

Thanks