Settle down in theatre seat

>settle down in theatre seat
>youtube.com/watch?v=FWkJ86JqlPA&t=2

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youtube.com/watch?v=HQCZRm8QlPE
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youtube.com/watch?v=rMpJ-xND6T0
youtube.com/watch?v=XperKGiNAbA
youtube.com/watch?v=wlnI6XjWk_k
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youtube.com/watch?v=DYBsF_yMeUI
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>settle down in theatre seat
>someone's falcon was resting on my seat
>it's dead

>settle down in theatre seat
>youtube.com/watch?v=HQCZRm8QlPE

>settle down in theater seat
>realize there's a black family near me
>get up and leave

>not poking holes in the middle of the seats and injecting them with a mix of semen shit and urine with a turkey baster

i shiggy dog family to be honest with you

>settle down in theater seat
>youtu.be/NRRPCjr1Ito

>Settlin
>in da seat
youtube.com/watch?v=rMpJ-xND6T0
>Its about go down

>they scream "AYYO WHITE BOI WHERE YOU GOIN" at you

>Go to my local cinema one night
>At the concessions stand
>I ask for a banana split
>The person behind the counter starts laughing his ass off
>I ask what's so funny
>He shouts to the girl working the popcorn machine
>"Lucy, this guy wants a banana split!"
>The girl starts laughing hysterically
>She gets the slurpee machine guy to come over and tells him the same thing
>Soon everyone working the concessions stand is laughing
>The manager comes out to see the commotion
>He asks what's going on
>I tell him I just wanted a banana split
>He tries holding back laughter but even he breaks and is laughing too
>Everyone is too busy laughing to serve me
>I'm trying not to cry out of embarrassment
>I go see my flick without any food
>2 hours later I leave the theater
>Everyone at the concessions stand starts laughing and pointing at me when they see me
>Some of them start throwing banana peels at me while screaming "BANANA SPLIT! BANANA SPLIT!"
>I run out of the theater before anyone can see me crying
>Haven't seen a movie in theaters in months because that was the only cinema where I live

I don't get it

>settle down in theater seat
>youtube.com/watch?v=XperKGiNAbA

Good post.

Did this really happen?

Here you go, senpai. On the house. Just make sure to read the filename.

I don't get it, what's wrong with banana splits? It's icecream, banana, choc topping, sprinkles, nuts, whatever ever else. It's awesome. I fucking want one right now.

Also don't cinemas make most of their profit off the concession stand? Why would they discourage you from making a purchase, regardless of what it is?

I'm sorry, but this story makes no sense.

>settle down in theater seat
>guy next to me hasn't left his anvil at the anvil registering section upfront
>can't hear shit during the entire movie

> He likes banana splits

>Settle down in theatre seat
>Scary trailer comes up

That's bananas

Not him, but in some gay cultures the phrase "Banana Split" refers to getting fucked in the ass by a black guy. The term "Banana" is a racist metaphor for the black man's penis (Because monkeys like bananas), so by fucking him in the ass he's "splitting" his ass in 2 with a "banana". Hence, "Banana Split".

cringe post

>settle down in theatre seat
>someone audibly farts

complete madman, what are you living in the '80s?

well well well

welly welly well


welly welly welly welly

if it isn't

reddit

>The term "Banana" is a racist metaphor for the black man's penis (Because monkeys like bananas)

God dammit that musical score was such a disappointment. Especially for John Williams. So bland and forgettable.

I didn't even know John Williams did it until I looked up the music credit.

>settle down in my theatre seat
>rip a disgusting fart

I love how I automatically knew you were talking about The Force Awakens just by mentioning how bland the soundtrack was.

FUCK THIS. my dad has a 40k dollar surround sound system and every fucking time the entire house and probbaly 2 houses down would shake since hed crank it all the way up

...

Literally Sup Forums the dad.

That's ridiculous. Your country is out of control.

This post is kino

I don't despise the movie. If you re-title it as something other than Star Wars, like, "Space Adventure Boom Bang Bazoongle," then it's ok. Still some problems, but fine for watching when bored to tears. I can't say that about any of the prequels.

The problem, though, is that it IS a Star Wars movie, and not only that, it's a CONTINUATION of the original trilogy (not some alternate universe like ST 2009, which was totally fine btw).

I guess the bottom line is that I knew, I just KNEW, Disney would find some way(s) to fuck it all up. Not as badly as George bungled the prequels, but still bad enough to tick me off to a certain extent. And at the end of the day, it's just a gigantic marketing machine to sell more toys, books, and other memorabilia.

youtube.com/watch?v=wlnI6XjWk_k

Can confirm

The prequels, as bad as they can be, at least tried something new and can have occasional moments of brilliance. TFA was literally an Episode 4 remake that brought nothing new to the Star Wars universe. Seriously, Tie Fighters and X-Wings again? You're telling me that in all those years none of the technology has advanced past the battle of Endor? And don't even get me started on the Empir-um I mean the FIRST ORDER being the bad guys again, right down to having the Death Star again (But this one is bigger so it's better I guess? Even though it's literally built into a planet so it can't travel around like the original Death Star did). Honestly, I still prefer the prequels because at least they feel original and have some good memes, whereas TFA had nothing too interesting.

I'm sure most fans feel the same way, except the prequels had many fatal flaws: the acting, casting and inert stretches of non-essential plot.

TFA exhibits none of these flaws and actually feels competently directed.

Celluloid just looks a lot better than early HD, too.

Hmmm I think I'm going to go get a banana split tonight, thanks user.

That was the whole point of TFA. It wasn't really trying to be wholly original. Disney and Abrams played it safe in order to get old, gullible fans, and more people in the general audience, on board the marketing train.

Sure, the prequels tried something original, but they utterly failed in almost everything besides the musical score (thank God).

-Technology
Star Wars has historically been weird about the tech, but that shit doesn't ultimately matter.

-First Order is the new Empire
I don't have a problem with that. Nor do I really have a problem with Star Killer base. Why? Despite a vague opening crawl, it is mentioned that the First Order rose out of the ashes of the Empire. That makes logical sense. So does building a bigger and better Death Star, even if it is cheesy. They sort of dealt with that fact when Han Solo literally called it another Death Star.

At the very least, it was simple and clear.

The prequels were all super political and weird. Especially the first one with the whole trade blockade/Naboo bullshit.

Then in the second prequel there was the deal with the Clones and some secret Jedi Master who ordered their production, which was never really explained in the movie.

Then in the third prequel, Order 66 comes out of nowhere. Sure it makes sense if you think about it, but at no point during that movie or its predecessors was this order ever mentioned. It just happens.

TFA was an effective movie. It did what it intended to do and didn't try to do things outside of its intended purview. You knew what the movie was supposed to be: a simple, fun space adventure film that milked Star Wars namesake and nostalgia in order to drive a new gigantic marketing machine for Disney.

Abrams got the job to direct Ep VII because people saw how well he soft rebooted Star Trek (with the 2009 movie).

Most of my complaints with TFA regard things that have to do with the Star Wars universe rather than the film overall.

Essentially, TFA was supposd to be a "passing of the torch" movie from the old cast to the new (mostly). It accomplished that to an extent, at least with the cast members; however, it was lacking in the overreaching conflict ("Resistance?" vs. First Order), despite it's apparent simplicity.

I'm assuming, but not holding my breath, that the next films in the planned trilogy will have more original story elements to them, which is all I want. I don't care as much about the tech or the alien races. That can be expanded on in whatever new EU Disney shills to the public for more shekels

>Despite a vague opening crawl, it is mentioned that the First Order rose out of the ashes of the Empire. That makes logical sense. So does building a bigger and better Death Star, even if it is cheesy. They sort of dealt with that fact when Han Solo literally called it another Death Star.
It's cheap and shows they didn't care at all about making it original, they just want to bank on nostalgia.

>The prequels were all super political and weird. Especially the first one with the whole trade blockade/Naboo bullshit.
It wasn't that hard to follow m8. Literally all you had to do was watch the movie and actually pay attention.

>Then in the second prequel there was the deal with the Clones and some secret Jedi Master who ordered their production, which was never really explained in the movie.
See above.

>Then in the third prequel, Order 66 comes out of nowhere. Sure it makes sense if you think about it, but at no point during that movie or its predecessors was this order ever mentioned. It just happens.
That's the whole point of Order 66, in that it was Palpatine's plan all along to create the clone army so they could turn on the Jedi and slaughter them all at a moment's notice. You probably think it's a stupid idea because it wasn't entirely in your face the whole movie.

>TFA was an effective movie. It did what it intended to do and didn't try to do things outside of its intended purview. You knew what the movie was supposed to be: a simple, fun space adventure film that milked Star Wars namesake and nostalgia in order to drive a new gigantic marketing machine for Disney.
>JUST TURN OFF UR BRAIN BRO XD

Eat shit. You're the reason Star Wars is dead now, because it appeals to brainless retards like you who think Star Wars is all about lightsaber fights and space battles.

your life is like a sit com that would air around 10pm on some station like MTV or VIVA

>Eat shit. You're the reason Star Wars is dead now, because it appeals to brainless retards like you who think Star Wars is all about lightsaber fights and space battles.

No. I don't.

I criticize TFA for what it is. A brainless movie.

Of course they didn't care. It's fucking Disney. They don't give a shit about anyone. They just want to expand their company and make more money.

All I'm saying was that TFA was at least halfway entertaining.

Not every fucking movie is supposed to be a Mona Lisa.

If you want a wonderful, fully fleshed out universe that deals with more complicated issues than just good and evil, go back to the old EU and fap alone in your room until you jizz all over Timothy Zahn's Thrawn trilogy.

>It wasn't that hard to follow m8. Literally all you had to do was watch the movie and actually pay attention.

I never said it was hard to follow, but in comparison to TFA, it's a lot of unnecessary bullshit that doesn't need to be in the movie.

You can still write an original story (granted TFA wasn't wholly original) without dealing with space politics.

>sit down
youtube.com/watch?v=71dC58dM4I4

You're literally justifying big corporations bastardizing art so they can sell toys. You're the reason every movie today is a remake or rehash. Please kill yourself, as it would be doing the world a favor.

youtube.com/watch?v=DYBsF_yMeUI

this didnt happen

...

I'm not justifying a phenomenon you cum gargling mongoloid. I'm explaining why TFA is the way it is.

I read the Star Wars EU. I like the different and complex shit it brings up (e.g. the debate over Jedi conduct and force usage during the Yuuzahn Vong wars).

Hell, I would love to see a trilogy based on the Thrawn series made by the right studio and director that know what the hell Star Wars is really about.

The fact of the matter is, unless I get into film making myself (or God forbid, you get off your lazy ass and make movies too), we probably won't see anything in the Star Wars movie universe better than the original trilogy for the foreseeable future.

I accept that the movie industry is the way it is and try to get what little enjoyment out of it I can.

But the bottom line is movies are business. Good movies that generate real discussion about life, the human condition, or the abstract are few and far between.

I agree with you. Corporate laziness and greed ruins what could be. But what the fuck are you and I gonna do about it?

We're here on a Cambodian mudhole fishing image board slinging metaphorical mud at each other. For what? So we can feel intellectually superior to others?

We're all a bunch of dumbasses.

Accept it and move on.

This always triggers me because its what I remember from signs when I watched it as a kid and now I always relate that feeling to this noise.

Rey's Theme certainly stood out, but nowhere near as close to the level of say, duel of the fates.

>ruining perfectly good vanilla ice cream with a fruit and nuts

youtube.com/watch?v=M7VIHtxQPEU

>be 13
>that cozy LotR music coming right after

Anyone else try taking a shit while in the theater? In my experience you need to sit at least where rows from other people or they'll smell it and report you.

Just roll down your pants and let the seat come upwards a bit so your turd can fall into the crevice. Then as you're done pull your pants back up as you let the seat flip all the way into default position, causing it to squish the turd in the process.

Been doing this at the same theater for 2 years now. Have left at least 20 turds, once two during the sa,e screening

inb4 jealous attention seeker makes the inevitable "uploaded to r/Sup Forums" joke

I want to go back

Can't you just go to the bathroom?

>Fatties don't like having their perfect sugar meals corrupted with nutritional food.

>Black family during a horror movie
>Adults scream to high heaven whenever something slightly unnerving or a jumpscream
>the 10 year old they brought along is as cool as a cucumber during the whole thing

_________

______________

__________

________

faggot

I was supposed to see Williams conduct in early 2015, but he was having back trouble at the time and couldn't fly out to Boston. The replacement (who was picked by Williams as he worked closely with him) said it was likely because he spent so much time sitting at a desk perfecting TFA score.
The audience applauded this.
I... I applauded this.

Fuck (You)

If Williams really was "perfecting" the TFA score, it was probably perfected in the way Disney wanted it to be: safe and unmemorable.

He was slaving away to make Disney's perfect, unimaginative score so they wouldn't murder him in his sleep and make it look like natural causes.