Tfw no loving gf to cook for you

>tfw no loving gf to cook for you

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She got the chefs touch.

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Keep him shitting from upset stomach?

>i can boil water
I'll bet she used the same water for all of it too. Boiled some eggs, removed them, boiled some corn, scooped it out with a slotted spoon, and finished it off with dry boxed pasta she could drain afterwards

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>boil corn
Are you fucked in the head?

That actually looks pretty good.

It's canned/frozen corn, that's how the directions say to do it. You think she would buy corn on the cob or anything fresh?

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aside from mangling the waffle, doesnt look too bad.

i also perfer milk in my scrambled eggs, but hey, if someone els eis cooking i can do without

Cooking is so fucking easy, learning basics is all you need.

When you know the basic flavour combinations and how to cook with a pan or oven correctly, the world is your oyster.

However the majority of Americans fucking cremate things, and add bacon to everything.. which ruins food.

"But everything tastes better with bacon" they say inbetween licking windows. No it doesn't.

Only obese fat fucks would say that shit, because their lives revolve around fatty MRM made foods.

No wonder 1/3 of Americans are morbidly obese.

if a bitch made me anything i would be heppy

Oh man pan fried turkey shapes and pasta with dolmio sauce or some shit just poured on top instead of cooking the pasta, returning to the pot and adding the sauce.

Hey, stop that!

NIGGA THATS SOME HOT DOGS AND EASY MAC

fucking americans

Who the fuck boils corn?

>inb4 real men BBQ everything

I laughed way harder than I should have at that. You made my day after working 14 hours. Time to fap to some cuck porn. Thanks man

Who the fuck doesn't boil it? Every corn on the cob I've ever eaten has been boiled.

It's even regular boxed spaghetti under a can of spaghetti, look at it

you gotta boil it to get the starch out or its tough and pasty.

this is cute but is pretty much why i banned my wife from cooking

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man childeren who think fire is mans domain.

consider yourself lucky, BBQd corn is usually soft and rubbery, and usually with a hint of burnt

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This shit makes me cringe so hard
That's fucking wifey level shit

Fucking betas...

You asked who, you got answers. The people who buy fucking frozen shucked corn, or the cans of it with a lot of water in it. You can't grill individual pieces of it properly
and it's "grilled", not "BBQd"

Should have pan seared those hotdogs

>raw
>onions

fuck me

Made me induce vomiting before eating it

search google for "grilled" corn

maybe you need to take your proper southern upbringing and educate peoples

Makes me so mad I want to go make a fire salad and post in thid thread

i-is this supposed to be an omelette

Which isn't bbqd dipshit

No surprise the top 10 of those countries have to use machine reclaimed meat meals to live off of.

Hell the majority of meats you get from supermarkets is either mrm meats in the guise of another cut, or like chickens inflated with beef/chicken water to make them more plump - but when you cook them the chicken is rubbery.

So yeah if you buy chicken and it ends up rubbery, you know they injected that shit in to your chicken... complain and never buy from the same place again (or brand).

she said its a late night snack you fucking vergin faggots. Don't act like weniees and kraft mac at 2 am isn't amazing at 2 am. Sometimes the best things in love are the simple things you do for eachother.

>eating fats make you fat

That ham looks disgusting. Reminds me of the "pulled" ham someone made for a gift exchange party I went to... did not have it in me to explain to the person who made it that ham should not be cooked like that and that long in a crock pot...

A BBQ is a grilling method, just in case the other guy you have been arguing with hits you with that.

if you think that shit is appetizing, your opinion on anything food related is meaningless

i love being able to cook whatever i want and not have to share it with some ungrateful cunt

>not realising there is different types of fats
>bad fats cannot be digested fully and are systematically added to the body instead, over time creating weight gain and a large waist size.

Try some learning son.

This shit looks like it came out of the freezer in blocks are you serious

if you like corn, you should try roasted corn sometime. it's delicious!

serious about what exactly?

this is a bone-r-petite thread

lrn2keto

i still don't follow. Is your autism getting in the way of you generating a complete thought?

>your kale looks like shit
>your mash looks like shit
>I swear to Christ if that's beef, you're fucked on life

>doesn't know what collard greens are
>doesn't know what rice pilaf is
>doesn't recognize pork tenderloin
good job gordon ramsay

Are you eating on the floor?

no its a table that costs more than your rent

Well whoever actually bought it before you dug it out of a dumpster didn't know how to take care of grout

the tiles aren't supposed to be grouted in

Sorry dude, but that pic just looks like 4 piles of different vomit. Taste is irrelevant to my criticism here: plating is important, and that looks terrible and unappetizing.

i loled. that guy trying to shit on that food is a tard.

that being said, i didnt know that was rice pilaf, the rice is pretty broken. use less water.

Your food is cooked so shitty I can't even recognize it, that's how bad you are. Just look at the color of your greens faggot.

On top of that, your pilaf, just look how mushy it is. You obviously used fucking San Francisco treat and added way to much water.

Plus your salad is drenched with shitty Raleys parmasean Romano cheese, on top of the croutons.

Bro.. Your pork.. Your pork.. Is so fucking overdone I thought it was a BBQ tri tip

too be anus the pre marinated porkloins are a pretty good buy

did somebody pre-chew your pilaf?

Wait hang on, I wanna see your table not that I don't believe ya but it's a pretty decent looking table

>plating is important
to who?
The best tastes in the world are blind and they, by definition, can't see shit
to ignore the taste because it doesn't look appetizing is the same as ignoring your dream girl because she doesn't have fake tits

Why the fuck would you serve food on plastic at home

tasters*, not tastes

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Uh....
You posted a picture of your cooking online in some asinine way of getting attention. You damn well better believe presentation matters because it's literally all we get through a picture.

That said, good troll. I'm out.

Is that one of those backyard fire pit things

normal people call it a coffee table

That's a beautiful table user, you got some fine taste

>backyard fire pit

confirmed redneck trash

thanks

Awww kid. Did I make you look silly in front of all the big boys?

Derrr derrr.

Anyone that's been in the business for a decent amount of time will tell you that the majority of people eat with their eyes. Taste is MORE important, yes, but presentation is still important.

Why tf would you have tile with your white room? Maybe in a kitchen but anywhere else is faggot shit. Are you decorating like a modern fucking caveman? I'll never understand these gay ass trends society has taken.

pilau not fucking pilaf. Pilaf is a dish not a rice.

look out queer eye. We have a pretentious contender

It's not my fault that this guy is a faggot and decorates like a 40 year old woman.

>Anyone that's been in the business for a decent amount of time will tell you that the majority of people eat with their eyes

no. people associate quality with beauty. therefor a pretty plate of food is deemed to be of a higher quality and therefor justifies the price you just paid for it at the restaurant. therefor you feel good about eating it.

look at Chinese food (real Chinese food, not Americanized shit) it always looks like crap but tastes amazing. this is partly attributed to its being cheaper on average.

>costs more than your rent
My MORTGAGE is $600/mo, and if you paid even half of that for that ugly piece of shit you're more of an idiot than someone who pays rent.

You mean the table? So what.

If you mean the floor, that looks like carpet to me broski beats.

What a faggot. While the men eat at their oak dinner tables, this loser eats on tile flooring like a fucking dog. What.a.loser

not too bright, are you

>bragging about living in some midstate in the US.

Spoken like a true Chipotle customer.

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Obviously the table. I don't give a shit about his carpet, but the redneck was correct. That tasteless tile bullshit belongs outside.

Don't blame me when you though the rice on his plate was...

1. Pilau rice
2. Mistake it for Pilaf which is a dish made from Pilau rice.

Not too bright buddy

>Chipotle customer

not an americant so i have no fucking clue what your on about.

Major city. I just know how to manage money. Fat down payment and 2.9%.

Get out of the basement.

Yeah, no thought went into this presentation at all. It's not about making it look higher quality to justify a higher price. It's about taking pride in your work. Stimulate the eyes as well as the nose and taste buds.

>Major city, Nebraska

I bet your broker was married to his sister

ahh hotdogs and mac. the single mom classic.

You faghots can't see that this is satire? Dumb fuckers

>keeps defending his home depot table.

>tfw you can cook for yourself and know just how well you like things instead of relying on some chick who would just toss it in the microwave anyway and likely burn lemonade if you asked her to make it

>It's about taking pride in your work

its fucking food. if it tastes good, there is pride to be had. your point makes you sound like an uptight frenchman.

im not even table guy lol

I wouldn't be so quick to say that when people like this exist.

youtube.com/watch?v=sp_UoNmlQD8