Weirdest/Creepiest/Perverted thing you've done ?

Weirdest/Creepiest/Perverted thing you've done ?

Taken a picture of this car saleswomen's tits while she was looking for paperwork

Walked into my friend's sisters room high on coke at 7am pretending I wanted weed(she doesn't smoke) when I really wanted to have sex with her. Pussied out of asking, so found her used panties on the hallway and jerked off while sniffing them.

Started jerking off while laying in bed with a friend. We were high on weed and laying down taking a nap. She woke up but didn't say nothing. But she knew.

fucked a horse at 5am in the morning in the middle of a cold wet field after drinking wine all night and taking a bunch of acid

Lmao. Did it enjoy it ?

Put peanut butter all over my dick and balls and let me dog lick it off. Fucked my dogs mouth and made her gag.

i dont think it knows it ever even happened

Use to jack off to nude pictures of my mom.

Stuck my dick into my niece's trainers while wearing grandma's panties on the head.

Ass or vagina ? Did it feel good ?

Pls post, I love mommies.

mare pussy, felt fucking incredible

Licked my mum's used up dildo. The scent of her vaginal juice just drove me crazy. Proceeded to sniffing her swimsuit afterwards.

Jerked off in the public sauna (male & female) at the local bathhouse.
Came in three hot as hell teens, sat down in front of me.
So I rubbed my dick in stealth mode, came all over my thigh and then walked out of there with cum dripping down my leg.

Don't have them I was in high school and they were in my parents drawer.

>parents drawer
The birthplace of fetishes.

Fingered my gf under a blanket while our kid played video games at the other end of the couch

How old is the kid ?

Almost ten

What game was he
Playing?

Star Wars Battlefront, not that it's relevant

good game though

It's relevant to me actually.

shouldve been fingering the kid

sex, in the missionary position, for the purpose of procreation.

1) as a pre teenager whenever i had female friends over for homework or whatever i put my dick in the glass of milk, stir and serve them

2) went upstair to my uncles new young wife opened the drawer smelled her panties and jerked off

Have a boner out of this

bought one of those fake pussys out of sillicone.
Going to masturbate with it to Catch me outside girl tonight

Paid a girl off of Facebook to shit on me.

Photoshopping photos of my female friends on social media and jerking off to them

Impaled

Masturbated while sucking on my ex's moms dildo.

Pics of girl ? How much $?

Man I wish I knew how to Photoshop just for that purpose.

jerked it to sister while spying on her

Mr Hands !

He fucking died from this.

used to watch my gfs younger sister who was 28 through a vent in the wall when no one else was home. best my meat so hard to that whore. liked wearing very little so i had plenty of spank opportunities

Fleshlights are awesome. Just need the right amount of lube. Not too much, not too little.

she was 18* dumb phone

Came in daughter's barbie dolls and leaved them there unwashed.

I also put them some perfume so they could smell like my dead wife.

I once jerked off to my sister's fiends panties. Turns out it wasn't her friends panties...

BTW, only leaved them unwashed because of laziness, not because I'm a creep, which, I'm not.

Clean though? Gotta go to the laundry basket for the good stuff.

...

How do you cum In a Barbie doll? You mean on ? Sorry bout your wife bud.

when she was out of the house id sometimes go in her room and check out the slutty outfits she had hidden in her dresser. wish i had a camera in that vent.

never got into panty sniffing though.

Worked as a plumber. Stole the panties of some 15 year old girl and jerked off to them. I was about 18. Dad found them in my trunk.

Well, they're small, of course I meant on, it was all over the place and the hair was a mess, my daughter was like "what happened to the hair?!!, it's all stiff and glued"

Hahaha ohh noooo. "Is that, hair gel?"

What does she look like, thin? And is she blonde?

Rip in peace Lil peppers

you disgust me

>20+ years ago, I was about 15-17 or so
Friend's older sister would leave dirty laundry in the upstairs bathroom.
I'd be over and "Be down in a minute"
Fapped buckets to dirty bras and panties.

I use to do something similar. I could peep through the blinds of my best friends sister's room. Waited one night on the side of the house until she got home. Gave her a minute to get inside then I peeped through the blinds and watched her change. After she was done she went to bed and I headed home as quick as I could. Could barely get my dick out of my pants before it erupted with the force of a thousand suns.

There's a face I haven't seen for a long time.

Got riskier as time went on and would sneak out front and go around the side to peep while hanging out at his house. Paid off as her friends would come over to hit the pool some nights and they'd change in her room too.

If only we had the technology then that we do now. I would have captured all of this on my phone.

It's been a good 10+ years and I still could gap to this. So heavenly

Had pity sex with my cousin in my boyfriend's bed.

I second this

I did the same.
We had a detached garage with a window facing the houses.
Would go and watch the same friend's sister change
Again, fapped buckets

> College friend wears size 5 blue Toms all day, everyday
> No socks
> One day I invite her over to my dorm to play Super smash Bros
> She shows up wearing the very same Toms
> Slides them off by the front door
> We play Smash for 20 minutes before she gets up and excuses herself to the bathroom
> Heart pounding, I immediately make a beeline for her sweaty Toms
> Look inside them and can clearly see her dirty footprints
> I grab them and take a deep whiff, as my eyes close in ecstacy
> Almostjizzinpants.jpg
> Literally smell like the dirtiest, sweatiest Doritos ever
> She comes back out and I'm over on the couch, pretending nothing happened as I hide my raging boner
> I casually drop hints about her Toms being stinky as she giggles like crazy about it

God, I love my life.

>If only we had the technology then that we do now. I would have captured all of this on my phone.
This.
This is so true.

If that's true, you're severely mentally ill.

I left a drop of urine in my buddy's mom's lipstick.

I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city.

I once jerked off with my little sister's friend's toothbrush during one of their sleepovers. I blew my load onto the bristles and washed off only the most obvious bits of semen.

They were both maybe 11 at the oldest, btw.

He died ?

Jerk off sniffing my moms panties

Pretty much every girl I have ever been friends with I have repeatedly stolen used panties from their laundry.

When I was 14 I started sniffing my sisters panties

My sister in law passed out in my place a couple of times and both times I molested her.

Now I fap to pics of my niece.

JonnySledge95 On kik if you want details

Yea it's fucked up but I wouldn't ever do that if it wasn't for the cocaine. Shit makes me weird.

How old were you?
Did you like that girl?

Eat my dogs pussy sometimes.

Yea thanks for the tips I was definitely wondering how I could go about jizzing on birds

hng

Yes, I haven't found a fat barbie doll yet

I also helped a friend home on night and she was fully drunk passed out. Got her on the bed. Rubbed my dick on her face and groped her tits. Did not have enough courage to do anything further. Went into her bathroom and jacked off into her shampoo bottle.

Then when I got home I jacked off again to the thought of her putting my goo in her hair.

does dog enjoy that at all?

You know why I respect this muthafucka, because he has a plan and he lives by it! DO it bro, cream on all teh birds!

Woke up early in the morning to see my mum sleeping naked with a slipped blanket.
Jerked off to her big tittes (3rd european, don't know the american counterpart) with large areolas.

I used to go into the grow room to jack off. She was so insane about the water and fertilizer and stuff. I'd jack off into her watering can so her plants would drink my semen.

I've unfortunately never been in that situation.
I have thought about it, and know that I would put her in her pajamas.
>I'm the sweet guy, I think I could get away with it. Pics would happen.

came in a coworkers work boots one day she wasnt there, used her shoes too.

have done it lots to my sil too

This is a hole new level of autism

Had one other similar adventure. Went to a house party at a random girls house. Ended up sneaking off to her bathroom and jerking off into her body wash. I hope she rubbed it all over her.

As if they didn't notice you retard lol

Well meme my friend

What the fuck user

Mans gotta do what's Mans gotta do

That dogs got a pretty mouth

this is a exquisite post my friend, a true classic

Totally obsessed with my wife's younger sister. Stolen 8 bras from her now and countless dirty panties and she has no idea. The bras are just fucking heaven, well used ones that have spent so many hours on her tits

Yeah. She will have a thrusting orgasm fit into my mouth.

pasta faggot

>friend invites me to his mountain cabin
>usually his gf is there too
>not this time
>we are alone
>inb4 gay story just keep on reading
>friend reiceives business call, tells me he is out for the day but I can sleep there
>see ya tomorrow
>doorcloses.wav
>open drawers
>search for his gf's socks (sadly there was none between the used clothes)
>she is short, pale, has small feet and acts like a brat
>3 pairs of extra cute little girl-like ankle socks (1 pink with red hearts on it, 1 white with yellow ends and 1 simply black)
>I can hear my heartbeat in my head
>cock is diamonds
>pink looks the best and is the most used (was really thin at the toes and heel)
>pull it on my cock all the way
>masturbate.exe
>imagine its her jacking me off with her socks
>cum one of the biggest loads ever
>repeat with all pairs throughout the night till I'm completely drained and my cock hurts both from exhaustion and friction from her socks
>wash socks with soap, try to dry them with hairdryer, put them back to the drawers and pray to god they'll be completely dry and clean the next day

So I'm not the only fag who finds her hot

moar

I know that sense of fear. The last time I took one of my sister in law's most used bras I was sure she'd notice and finally work out that so much of her underwear vanishing isn't normal, I was scared for weeks after

Oh she knows

>8 bras and even more panties
no way she doesn't know breh

Post the story you fucking faggot