How do you rationalize your cheating?

How do you rationalize your cheating?

General cheating thread.

I don't.
I just don't commit to a relationship if I'm not looking to be monogamous, and I break it off if I lose interest and become interested in others.

There is such a thing as loving someone but needing something else. It's not pretty, it's not fair, it's definitely not something you can't just consciously shut down, but it's true.

>loving someone but needing something else.
There's a little interplay there. She might simply not tend to your needs, for some reason or another.
At first that's going to start breeding frustration, then the lack of intimacy is going to start distancing you two, then at a certain point of that connection dying down you're going to become emotionally available to others and will get drawn to them.

I warned her for a long time but she ignored it. Couldn't let it keep going.

You are putting too much weight on the physical side of things. Case in point: I'm perfectly, 100% happy with my long term gf sexually. Even emotionally we literally are best friends, get along perfectly... And yet I feel the need for the chase and to prove to myself that I can get to that other person... Especially when that other person has a personality I find attractive.

The physical intimacy is a fundamental part of the relationship. It's also a huge part of what causes and keeps up that emotional bonding.
Once I'm there, I don't actually have an interest in other women. I don't feel a need to prove myself, I have what I want. Other women become like dudes to me.
If I don't have that though, I'm not gonna make that commitment.

Then I'd rather just keep fwb's. Though after a while when they get infatuated they never really deal with it well when confronted with you fucking others even if they knew about it. And keeping that bench filled up is a chore.

>I don't feel a need to prove myself, I have what I want
That's what I feel like now. But only because I got to shove my tongue down her throat. It's that excitement of the first kisses, the push and pull, the first times you have sex that keeps me coming back. Once that goes, I loose interest and move on to the next one.

Doesn't sound like a relationship is what you're up for right now.

I'm on a relationship. I just need that continual endorphin discharge of getting the other, new girl.

I'm perfectly happy with the emotional connection I have with my wife. But physically I am a man and have an instinctive desire to fuck as many women as possible. So the way I rationalize it is to sleep with escorts -- pure business transaction, no messy "other girl" drama, and they're good at sex.

I don't spend too much time sitting around worrying about the rationalization, though. Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and guilty about "caving in to your instincts" is stupid. We're human. We do what humans do.

What feels the worst to me is that my girlfriend she knows exactly what's up but my wife I lie to and hide shit from constantly anymore.

I'm slowly falling close to the new girl and away from the wife. But I don't wanna leave my wife or even hurt her.

Lately I've just been distancing myself from both and drinking too much and shitposting on /b.

I'm glad you guys are here

Know the feeling Sup Forumsro. Not wife and gf on my case, but long term gf and someone new, exciting that kind of shifted everything for me. At least she also has a long term bf, which makes me feel somewhat better, for some reason.

Before my current years-long dry streak, I justified it by not making it cheating. From the beginning "If you hold out on sex as a weapon or as a manipulation tool, I will find sex elsewhere. If you are never in the mood, leave me now. I need sex. If you blueball me, I will jerk it right there. I will have orgasms. You have no control over that, never will."

I'm on the other side of it. I'm single and hooking up with two women who have long term boyfriends. Its not so nice.... I feel bad for the dudes who they're cheating on but also kind of bad for the women who are feel the need to get more than what their dude is giving them. Its all pretty messy. The solution in my opinion is that people should chill the fuck out and be more realistic about what they need. Screwing someone else isn't inherently bad. Lying about it is.

>Screwing someone else isn't inherently bad. Lying about it is.
I wish this was common knowledge.

ha! yeah... seriously. The weight people put on cheating (in pop culture etc) is absurd. And so wildly unfair to ourselves... its weird

I think you should just divorce her.
She'll figure it out. You make a clean break it'll minimize the damage.
Besides you're not 100% into this marriage anyway, bluntly you're wasting your time. That's a problem in itself but consider how many years you have left. I mean you're already married but I don't know how old you are, in any case you're gonna have to do a restart. I don't think you want to be dealing with this in your forties or something.

Just happened to me. I been faithful and hardworking truck driver for 14 years, saving money for a ring and a home and she just finds a new bf and blocks my number without telling me.... she was introduced to me by my best friend from childhood who died of heart problems. So I feel like I lost both of them cause I won't have memories of him. Now being without her I see I don't have any friends because the job and Lil time I had I gave it to her. I just don't know where to go from here. Any advice would be good thanks

Is it cheating to have intentions of marrying someone you know but don't talk to often when currently in a relationship? Because I'm effectively obsessed with this girl and despite my rather happy life currently, once she becomes available, I might utilize her young ignorance and recent heartbreaks to work out a relationship with her intent on marriage in a couple years all while smoothly transitioning my current relationship back into a friendship and develop a friendship between her and my new wife. It's a totally nuts idea because this chick is half my age, but it keeps me going just imagining it is what I am working toward in life.

I think my GF suspects I'm not for her mom though, but oh no it's far worse than that.

Unfortunately time is important to relationships. Until you have enough available to satisfy one, your greatest love will be in a bathroom in Wyoming with big buck the fat fuck truck driver.

my rationalization was being 2000 miles away from her for months and months.

being lonely was killing me.

she found out, said she understood and forgave me

but never really forgave me and used it as an excuse for her own infidelity years later.

i hated myself for fucking around on her. it's literally betraying a friend.

I'm 44. Tfw.....

>being 2000 miles away from her for months and months.
>she found out

How the fuck do you fuck that up!?

My Gf likes to watch me with other girls. We just discovered she has this fetish about a week ago while 3some'ing. So I can't really cheat on her because it just turns her on.

sounds perfect. and pretty damn healthy IMHO

>>I hate myself
>>sabotage the relationship by not believing I could have someone that amazing and deserve it
>>Fuck up my life to match my inner world by cheating
>>She finds out
>>Failed suecide attempt.
>>Now here. I'm ok. Self image issues so a lot of damage

Fuck. Well you might as well go the full monty. Get yourself a young starlet with a daddy thing.

I've actually been looking into buying a Corvette.

Personally I'd just ply them with kush.

If I could still smoke weed everyday then I'd probably be content in most aspects of my life. I can't smoke weed even occasionally though because work.

Tbh you don't have to.
I had this thing with a cokeslut for a while. I dunno, it sounds kinda mean. But that's what it was. Honestly she was mental, it was just a sex thing and I kept the party going by feeding her coke. I don't do it though so it was all hers.

I think it's just my scene though. The corvette approach sounds like it has its charms, it's just that I'm a degenerate who really digs drug fueled roman orgies as a concept.

>went on a business trip.
>trusted one of the stabs to stay at my place.
>she freaking ransacked my apartment.
>during AIDS scare, had made a just in case list ...
>found that, found her number and called her with all that info.
>then i got called in the middle of the night during
my business trip.
>fuck my life
>crazy. fucking. redhead. bitch.

I dunno man, beyond the shitposting I think this is going to be a complicated situation you really need to hash out between you and your wife. I'm giving you the take of a guy who has nothing to do with this relationship, don't let it run around your mind too much. I feel like this is something you should really explore with her and then decide where to take the marriage, I think you should do it sooner rather than later though.

I understand. Round here though meth is a lot more popular than coke....And i do binge occasionally. But by myself. Just me a home made Fleshlight type of thing and all the porn. Back in the day my wife would with me and we had a helluva time. She don't anymore and I gotta hide when I do. She knows but I still gotta hide.

Shit like that will make a man that never really wanted to grow up wanna get a Corvette full of cocaine and drive far far away

That's not so much cheating as intent to manipulate or exploit. But even that is reaching. I don't think it's possible to really call marrying a woman manipulative since you're giving them what they're conditioned to want. Do what you want.

1. life is short, enjoy yourself

2. relationships are just a waiting game to see who cheats first

3. who even cares in the end?

Can confirm redheads are crazy but most have been worth the stress in my experience. Two were definitely not. Not by a longshot.

>She knows but I still gotta hide.
That doesn't make sense man. Is it a shame thing?

I get the impression you should communicate about this, like at least replace the fleshlight with her or something. I've drifted apart before, more than once. If communication had been better I wouldn't be single now and I'd be happy about that.

And this is a sign that it's time to move on. Not a reason to be cheating. What's the point in a failing relationship?

sunk cost fallacy. it's your fucking life, why waste it?

investing more time into something that isn't working isn't going to make it better.

this is the definition of insanity.

I cheat only with whores

>tfw I'm fucking awful at cheating

It's all I want to do. Think about it every day. Just can't do it.

She had no problems doing it.

Fucking open relationship bullshit.

>inb4 just leave and fuck whoever user

Life doesn't always work that way shithead.

how?

how do you lack control over your own life?

That's what happens when you're young, stupid, and willing to give chances to sociopaths. I have no strength, confidence, or will of my own any longer.

I'm just a slave.

Only cheated once, an ex(lets call her number 1) was a prude for 3 months because of a 'bad' experience with her ex. I got sick and tired of it so I went to another ex(let's call her number 2) who was always desperate for my attention and busted 3 months worth of nuts in her in a day.

Ex number 1 just so happened to decide to finally put out on the same day I exhausted my libido supply on number 2 and I couldn't get it up to actually fuck her. I ended up fucking her the next day after I had time to rest; I blamed it on her being excruciatingly tight that night, which she was. I probably couldn't have stuck it in even if I hadn't given ex number 2 three months worth of dickings.

Ex number 1 was just a rebound for another ex and she satisfied all my emotional needs at the time so I ultimately didn't care about her much otherwise.

well, at least you got dubs

Cmon, its not cheating if there are 2 girls...

Goddamn that's bleak.

First time ever too...

Dubs of truth.

Time to give up and die now.

you're a fool, blaming yourself for a problem that you just don't want to get out of.

>busted 3 months worth of nuts in her in a day.
That feeling is fantastic.

No, I don't want to get out of it.

I want to cheat, so I can validate my existence.

Duh.

>Love wife, sex is Meh
>We have been together forever
>Have autistic son who is lovely but not exactly a good biological legacy
>wife cannot have more children due to medical reasons
>Really want to start a family elsewhere but can't leave wife or son
>urge to fuck other women is becoming very powerful urge
>Buy lottery ticket every week in vain hope of becoming a millionaire and having a secret second family.
>fuck my life

Wat do?

Don't go full Lanza on us now.

You need to ditch the broad. Hook up with some equally insecure chick and devote a week or three to sexual healing. You'll be a new man.

I can't stand only being sexually committed to one woman. I need a variety.

>can't
won't

why not just tell your wife that's what you want?

I appreciate the sentiment.

Well, I'll just have to keep hoping she throws me a bone...

Or a loaded gun. :)

Adopt.

She would not forgive me and make it hard to see my son. She would not take it well.

cheated on bf when i was 19 relationship was at its end anyway we lasted 2 weeks after it he never knew actually no one knew i went to a sex club in another town and fucked a lot of guys there at my dads age i did it because bf was lazy in bed and didnt satisfy me i was young and super horny and just wanted to be a slut for a night without anyone know it

She suggested this but would not satisfy my biological need

What do you mean you have to keep hoping she throws you a bone? Are you browsing from a cellphone while you're handcuffed to a basement radiator or something?

The beauty in this is you don't need to go anywhere. You don't even need to talk to her about it. Remember that ghost movie "The Others?" You could live like this. In the meantime just hit the usual spots for some fawnish poon and work out a minivacation busting her bedframe.

I told her I was cheating and shit
turns out shes been cheating this whole time
but wont admit it
fucking ruin my life and call me a scumbag when youre out doing the same only I felt bad and she didnt.

she hates me

>Two were definitely not.

this was my downfall. wife redhead, fling redhead.
wish i could have that back. not worth any of the stress it caused

strangely, she said it 'kinda' turned her on after she got to thinking about it.

I can't really relate then. I mean I can, but when I had to face the same choice before, I cared more about doing it with her than about just doing it. So I was down for adoption and keeping our fingers crossed for in vitro magic.

I don't believe there's such a thing called cheating. There's only not sticking to a set agreement.

I go by Alan Roger Currie's way.

At he start of the relationship I make sure the girl knows:

1- I want to fuck her.
2- I'm fuckin other girls.
3- It's casual sex.


It's either she says yes or she says no.

And if she says yes she can't call me out for being unfaithful because she already knew what I was doing.

Hope this helps.

Just remember, it's okay to send a girl for sex. It's not okay to pretend th at you're not.

Dude im sorry. Just keep on truckin driver you dodged a serious bullet.

It really is. I obviously still fapped but that was a completely different level after 3 months of denial.

Worst part was is she had no problem with me getting her off but she wouldn't give a tug job, let alone even look at my dick

Anyone who cheats is a fucking subhuman nigger. You should legitimately kill yourself if you're unfaithful, there's literally no reason to cheat.

Edit:

It's okay to use a girl for sex. It's not okay to pretend that you're not.

IMO it's not that the climax is special, or even the moment of relief. It's that you spend literal days at it. It's the indulgence.

My wife said lets have a 3some then said I was planning off runnin away with her friend I met once. My brain is fucked now.

There's reasons to cheat.

The commitment issues in this thread, smh

So I see, you mentioned so many of them.

I cheated and threw away a perfect life. All I want to do is OD like wtf

then I realize shes been doing the same thing shes just letting me burn the house dow so she can walk away clean. God if I didnt have a conscious I would of just let her stay blue last nighg

It wouldn't happen if there weren't reasons. You know the reasons but you want others to say them so you have something to rail against.

say you were not in control
blame god for taking over

so this no strings attached life you live, you're okay with her schtupping whatever chad or jerome falls into her lap?

Not him but I've had the same thing going. Don't give a shit. I'm rotating them as well.

>prove to myself that I can get to that other person
>prove to myself
underage b&

Yup.

It's the same to her because she has to be fine with me fucking other other girls.

I'm picking with my women though.

I fuck girls of standards who I know are also picky with their guys. but otherwise you hit the nail on the head.

I actually have a few long fuck buddy and friends with benefits relationships because of this.

And no drama.

you got to balance the isolation of being on the road with your time off.
get out of the house and go meet some people.
however, i'm not a bar scene guy and generally don't like bar people.
clubs, civic group, church for the social life?

but y'all a single? i understand this lifestyle and it works for some people really well. as long as all the cards are on the table, no one gets hurt.

i get butthurt over people deceiving or lying to their significant others so they can satisfy their desire for 'new relationship tingles'.

i met people who've tanked their twenty year relationships because their desire for those 'butterflies' of being with someone new.

What are you going to do about it? Kill them? Like jigsaw?

When I bond with someone like that, I'm open to just a regular monogamous relationship, it kinda forms on its own. The open thing, it's not a relationship. It's basically a bunch of friends acting on attraction and satisfying each other's needs but that's it.

Nope, that's a relationship.

Well it's a type of relationship I guess technically but it's nothing like an exclusive romantic relationship.

It's the same thing minus the exclusivity.

it's not like there's any point raising a retard anyway, so who cares

Any serial killers here?

lol no.

when you've seen handsome 'good provider' type husbands in several relationships get kicked to the curb by their 'unhappy' wives, and you hope you're not next, it sobers the fuck out of you.

but it's also made me realize i can't let me relationship with my wife get stale and i've stepped my game up with her.

Yeah and that's a pretty substantial difference.

In the open situation I'm deliberately keeping a distance because they're going to get too involved to deal with the open part. We're close friends, we share intimacy, but that's it.
If I'm going exclusive with someone I share everything and aim to grow old with them. Before I get into that situation I have to actually feel like they mean that to me, that they naturally feel like that part of my life.

One I have a fun time with, the other one I'm looking to marry and impregnate.

and like i said, i totally understand this arrangement as long as there's not someone getting lied to.

how can i help you?

Narcissist personality disorder.

Thanks guys, yeah I'm going to keep driving I guess my goal now is just to save invest and try to live a life later.. they say 30% in 10 years your retired, but I can technically invest 80% cause I don't have any bills besides car insurance and food. I know I'll find someone later, I know I'm a good person, for now I keep browsing/b waiting for an hero's to cheer me up. I'm going to hell

>100% happy
>get along perfectly
Impossible. No one gets along perfectly or is 100% happy. You're hiding something

We had a hard time with finances, my work load had been shortened considerably and at the time, I was the sole breadwinner. Also a mother of two kids.

He was a stay-at-home dad. He could have worked from home to help out at least a little, but chose not to. On top of that, from all the stress, he withdrew from the family into the virtual world of RPs. Spending hours on end, ignoring me and our kids.

I tried to fix it, god I did. Talks, arguments, counselling. But I couldn't set myself on fire to keep him warm.

I accidentally met up with a great guy, fun, compassionate, good in bed. I lied to him about my life, severely. He made me feel happy and needed, wanted.

When it satrted getting serious, I had a come-to-jesus talk with myself. At the same time my husband noticed my odd behaviour and started trying to fix things.

It was too late. I broke it off with my side-guy, put in the papers for divorce. All the hurt and resentment I felt wouldn't go away no matter what. I hurt two people, lashed out because I got hurt in the first place.

Now the divorce is almost finalized, we live separately. I helped my ex to find a job and chimed in financially on his accomodations. We split the custody 50/50.

I'm fairly certain he's still in love with me but I can't reprocitate anymore. I'm sort-of happily single.

you prolly meant "how do you justify...". here´s how i rationalize all cheating: you wanrt to fuck people