THE BOUQUET RESIDENCE, THE LADY OF THE HOUSE SPEAKING

THE BOUQUET RESIDENCE, THE LADY OF THE HOUSE SPEAKING

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OH SHELDON HELLO!

RICHAAAAAARD, IT'S SHELDON ON THE PHONE.

Kek this show is top tier up there with Seinfeld family

>tfw I realized Sheridan was a gigantic faggot

Favorite Hyacinth quote?

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This show is God tier

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>that episode where the Syrian refugees move in across the road and don't take their bins in after bin day
The show got really weird in its last series

RICHARD! DADDY HAS ESCAPED CONFINEMENT AND IS SHOWING HIS TAINT TO CHILDREN IN THE PARK.

COME ALONG NOW RICHARD DEAR, IF LADY EDNA FARTVOMIT HEARS OF THIS I SHAN'T BE ACCEPTED INTO THE CROCHET SOCIETY

Is Hyacinthposting a new meme?

no, shut up

>you will never go to one of Hyacinths candle light suppers

OOH RICHARD I'M BEING ATTACKED HELP ME DEAR, THEY ARE RAVISHING ME. MY COLOSSAL GRANNY KNICKERS WERE TORN OFF TO REVEAL MY SLIMY WIGPIE.

RICHARD I HAVE BESHITTED MY DRESS HELP HELP

...

>It's a holiday in Nice episode where Richard loses control of his truck

"Mind the pedestrians, Richard"

>Christmas-cake kino

Was Onslow the last real British man on television?

>it's a Rose being a gross old bitch episode

I fucking hate this show, and I hate this thread. Keeping Up Appearances is fucking garbage that northerners watch so they can feel better about being retarded.

> ok

>it's a Hustler porn parody episode

>TV turns off
"IVE GONE BLIND!!!"
Truly one of the great shows of all time.

Rose may have been an old hag but from the waist down she was tasty. Great legs and a tight ass. I bet Onslow buried his big pink spudhead up her skirts to get a whiff of that extra ripe oiled kipper

rethink your life

>mfw a Keeping Up Appearances thread pops up

How much dose he want this time?

Starring the fat guy from Hale & Pace?

I wish my grandmother had looked like Rose. I wouldn't have minded emptying her commode then

TEA AT 11 ELIZABETH!

Yes thank you hyacinth.

Pacemaker

Real talk:
In a pub, Rab C. Nesbitt slaps Daisy's arse. Can Onslow take him?

>Sup Forums in a nutshell

Hyacinth, as classy as she was, always struck me as the type of woman who didn't regularly wash her vulva

Liz had some nice legs on her in that Santa outfit

Satanic trips of kek

Hello, misses Bucket?!

>all these fags wanting to bang all these saggy gross old ladies


Daisy is so fucking hot holy shit

Oh man I kekd real hard. Well done sir.

> this exists

Rule 34 does it again.

Steady on friend, these 'old ladies' as you put it, had a wealth of experience and a sexual energy that you can't get with younger women. From my own experience, the severe ravages of age only really show on the face and once you get those clothes off, often you will have a banging body with a beautiful natural bush and beautiful clothes peg nipples.

youtu.be/Zv3bwzNn2ho

>often you will have a banging body with a beautiful natural bush and beautiful clothes peg nipples.

> this is not the chines takeaway

I thought she would get knocked over by a dog or the balloons would explode

what the fuck as the meaning behind this?

So did Rose ever get to snusnu the reverend or not?

Probably

Richard and Elizabeth probably banged too

See, many people think that this is a simple comedy about class envy and ideas above your station. They are so wrong.

For example, has anyone considered the hints of erotic depth of Hyacinth? Many see Richard as a henpecked, feeble man. Truth is, he is a man who values Hyacinth's erotic qualities so much that he is willing to play the role of nagged husband. The sex with her must be unbelievably great to have him stay with her. He could have his pick of women. Rose often seems to offer her stinky whiffparcel in his direction, but he only has eyes for his dominant BBW lingerie goddess, Hyacinth. Her candlelight suppers were a euphemism for intense orgy sessions and Hyacinth's big round buttockballoon was coveted by all the men in the neighbourhood, even the vicar guy. He may have had to throw holy water on her gash first, but he was all over that thing like Philip Schofield to the opening of a Morrisons.

Why does the BBC always produce such a limited amount of episodes of their comedies each season? Stuff like this or Falwty Towers had like 6/7 episodes every season

my boner can't take much more

Serious talk:

Did Sheridan need the money for HIV medication?

>it's a Richard has to fight a biker three times his size to impress some golfers episode

The hero we deserve

No, he needed it to support his betting on illegal badger fights.

>It's a Richard finally snaps and runs around in the woods pretending to be a knight episode

>pretending

Sir Richard Bouquet doesn't need to pretend, m8.

What are some other essential /netflix comedy shows/?
TPB, malcom, dilbert, iasip, and My Name is Earl to name a few.

I feel really bad for Richard. There was one episode where she told everyone he had gout because it was a noble's disease or something and he had to walk around (and chauffeur Hyacinth) with this huge bandage around his foot and in the end he's on a ladder and falls off and his foot gets stuck because of the bandage so he's hanging there in pain and everyone just walks off.

>often you will have a banging body with a beautiful natural bush and beautiful clothes peg nipples.
The problem is that as you age you tend to lose body hair.

A lot of old ladies have plenty of pubes. Take it from me, I've done the research and served the time afterwards.

>its a Hyacinth tries to donate money to Syrian orphans and ends up accidentally sending money to ISIS episode

Top kek lad

The older you go, the less there will be, the worst thing is that they get very sparse arm and leg hair, and even pit hair gets weak.

Pubic hair stays the longest, but it gets more sparse.

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...

I once wrote a fanfic where he finally spergs out and leaves her, flies away to the caribbean and gets a new identity, only to realise that he needed her.

Rose must be the source of my milf fetish. Top tier slag.

Christ I can hear her

So it doesn't get stale

I always thought at some point her husband would die and at the funeral someone calls out to her as Mrs Bouquet, and she just has a rush of emotion over how she was so silly about it over the years and says

"It's Bucket dear. It always has been."

Share it. Now.

Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet) was appalled to hear her husband laughing as he walked away from her and out of her house. For the first time in their long marriage, Richard had become quite irate. Hyacinth had quite reasonably requested that he move the Royal Doulton with the hand-painted periwinkles to a safer altitude. "You've changed!" Had been her tearful accusation after Richard had told his loyal wife that he hated the Royal Doulton with the "damned disgusting" periwinkles. And with the breaking of a treasured Royal Doulton (with the hand-painted periwinkles) against the hallway linoleum, he broke Hyacinth's heart.

Richard giggled, revved the engine of the Ford Cortina and started off down the road. Freedom! He was his own man now, after an endless, gruelling marriage. The word "marriage" made his chest tighten. You've changed! She'd said. Richard howled with laughter, and kept laughing for a long time, just as loud as he wanted. Soon he was at the office of Mr. Ordog, a Hungarian man with whom Richard had made an unusual deal the night before.

Mr. Ordog's accent sounded like a mix of every accent in Europe. "Ah, good. You decided to go through with it." There had never been any doubt in Richard's mind. The price had been a nice round number: One million and one pounds. Surprisingly low for what was on offer. "You won't regret this Mr..?"

"Bucket, sir." Richard relished in pronouncing his family name the way his father had.

"You're not Mr. Bucket any more."

"That's right!" Richard confirmed. A flutter of apprehension stirred inside his chest.

"So you must choose a new name."

"A new name. Yes, I suppose I must. I hadn't given it much thought."

"Never fear. I can make all of these decisions for you. I have the perfect life for you." Mr Ordog opened a drawer in his desk and whipped out a red folder.

"Your name is now Marion Statham. You are a retired... What did you say you used to do?"

"I was in government finance."

"A fine vocation."

"Marion?"

"The great actor John Wayne was very proud to be called Marion before he was John Wayne."

"I think I read that somewhere. But Statham? Isn't there a popular movie actor called Statham?"

"You see? Two great movie star names for one great man!"

"Marion Statham. Hm." Richard reckoned he could've found a better name just by picking normal names at random. Ordog continued describing this new life.

"Government finance? Then Marion Statham is a retired government executive in the field of... General purposes. And he lives here," said Ordog, holding up a page from the folder. Richard was surprised by a pang of guilt at the thought of living somewhere other than Hyacinth's house. Then he saw the palm trees.

Flanagan ignored the perfect, bikini-clad bodies cavorting on the beach and listened intently to the drunken English gentleman who was across the bar from him. At first, sober and controlled, this man had called himself Marion. Now, with the sunset glowing blood red over the Caribbean ocean, he was demanding to be called Richard and crying about a wife he'd left behind in England. Hyacinth. Every five minutes for the last hour, her name burst out of the old man's mouth like a bat out of a chimney. His slurred monologue continued between determined sips of fine scotch.

"...And Onslow was a good man. Hyacinth. She was embarrased by him but I liked him."

"This is the guy that won the Euromillions jackpot?"

"YES! Can you believe it? My stepbrother in law, her step... Her brother. Her brother in law. Won it all. Do you believe it?"

"It's amazing."

"Amazing! Amazing? You might call twenty eight million pounds amazing. I suppose you could. Euro... Millions!"

"And he gave you how much?"

"I won it! In a game of chance. Cards. Poker. He was drunk. Mush as... Like I am right now. I suppose."

"Three million pounds?"

"I had a good hand. Five... No. Two pair. Anna flush. All in one hand"

"Is that possible?"

"You tell me. But he gave me the money. All of it. Believe that? And then I got on the plane, and I escaped. Oh Hyacinth. I'm sorry."

"So who's Marion?"

"That's the man, the Bulgarian man I was telling you about."

"He's Marion?"

"Hungarian. No, I'm... Was supposed to be. But I'm not! I'm not Marion, I'm Richard!"

"You were supposed to be Marion?"

"In the file. In the stupid new file. Hyacinth! I've been so stupid. I don't belong here!"

"Three million pounds on one hand of poker with your brother in law. Jeez, buddy. What's that in dollars?"

"It's the same. It buys the same amounts. I worked in finance. For the British government."

"You said. And then you just left?"

"You don't understand. Nobody can ever understand that woman. Except me. I was laughing when I left. She said... Listen to this. Are you listening?"

"Sure."

"It's funny. Listen. She said: 'You've changed.'" Flanagan tried to force a polite laugh. The old man just hung his head.

Richard got up and swayed away from the bar, trying to find his way back to the long, sandy track that led up to his new home. A well dressed man at a nearby table, a man who had once claimed to be Hungarian raised a champagne glass to Richard and winked.


-

Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet) was appalled to hear her husband laughing as he walked away from her and out of her house. For the first time in their long marriage, Richard had become quite irate. Hyacinth had quite reasonably requested that he move the Royal Doulton with the hand-painted periwinkles to a safer altitude. "You've changed!" Had been her tearful accusation after Richard had told his loyal wife that he hated the Royal Doulton with the "damned disgusting" periwinkles. And with the breaking of a treasured Royal Doulton (with the hand-painted periwinkles) against the hallway linoleum, he broke Hyacinth's heart.


Richard giggled, revved the engine of the Ford Cortina and started off down the road. Freedom! He was his own man now, after an endless, gruelling marriage. The word "marriage" made his chest tighten.
*You've changed!* She'd said. Richard howled with laughter, and kept laughing for a long time, just as loud as he wanted. Soon he was at the office of Mr. Ordog, a Hungarian man with whom Richard had made an unusual deal the night before.


Mr. Ordog's accent was a medley, like a mix of every accent in Europe. "Ah, good. You decided to go through with it." There had never been any doubt in Richard's mind. The price had been a nice round number: One million and one pounds. Surprisingly low for what was on offer. "You won't regret this Mr..?"


"Bucket, sir." Richard relished in pronouncing his family name the way his father had.

"You're not Mr. Bucket any more."

"That's right!" Richard confirmed. A flutter of apprehension stirred inside his chest.

oops

Ignore that last bit, my save repeats with a copy formatted for Reddit lol.

Anyway, thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it.

Pretty good 2bh famalam.

Cheers m8.

>Check it out on IMDB because I've seen the occasional episode on tv before.
>44 episodes

What? I can't fucking believe it, surely they did more than 44?

What did he miss about her?

Just exactly what did he gain from the relationship?

All these british comedies are super tight on episodes

The feeling of being needed. The main emotion he is feeling at the end there is guilt at having abandoned her and hurt her. Richard talks about how she accused him of having changed, then hangs his head in shame, acknowledging that he had changed, from being a loyal husband to being a heartbreaker.

But she treated him terribly. If he wanted to feel needed, he could get a Labrador. The Labrador would probably treat him better. She constantly undermined, nagged, belittled, verbally abused, mocked him. Why doesn't she feel guilty.

Why does Richard always have to put others before himself. There are women who will treat Richard right. He deserves to be treated like the King he is. He has style, panache and an intimate knowledge of pastel overcoats. He probably is a great and tender lover.

Doesn't Richard deserve happiness?

Christ I've wasted my life.

He's a martyr. He was proud to serve Hyacinth because in the end it proved to the world that he was a strong enough to tolerate her constant negativity, something few men could've done. Alone, he's just another man, but with Hyacinth chopping away at him he's virtually a superhero. He might not have enjoyed her attacks, but he enjoyed the quiet knowledge that he was the only person who could stomach them.

Hyacinth took him for granted, just as he took for granted the idea that he'd be better off without her. By the time he realised his entire identity was dependent on Hyacinth's presence it was too late. He'd destroyed the relationship that defined him and broke the fragile woman that depended on him, just as he broke the plate that symbolised their marriage.

But why does her constant negativity have to define him?

Hyacinth has many fine pieces of crockery and delph. They look good together in a cabinet but one day, those sets will be sent to auction and the lots split up and different plates will go their separate ways and some of those plates will manage to take their place in the world in new houses, where they are the centerpiece of new collections.

Why can't Richard find someone who appreciates him? Why does he need to be a Job-like figure who gains strength from his endurance of injustice?

#RICHARDLIVESMATTER

...

obviously "...AND I AM UNANIMOUS IN THAT"

Oh dear, I laughed way too much with this

Fuck off

Ok

get
the
fuck
out

user's winding you up, it's the stage play.

If it makes you feel any better, I believed it too.

You stole that after I posted it in the last KUA thread
Thanks man, I feel really gratified

What a based series

Fawlty Towers only had 12 episodes, yet it's considered a staple of English comedy. Long running Britcoms like Red Dwarf are the exception rather than the rule here.

44 episodes sounds about right.

This show seems like something your 50 year old mom would watch, I'm surprised so many of you like it. Is it even on in the US?

Sup Forums has better taste than I thought

Still airs on KERA I think. Been watching it since I was a kid

KUA and One Foot in the Grave are GOAT comfy British suburbia shows.

Used to run all the time on PBS in the 90s, along with Mr. Bean. That's how I watched it as a kid, at least. I haven't seen it on television in probably 15+ years but I always found it funny when it was on.