Worst thing you've ever done?

Worst thing you've ever done?

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Your mother.

I ejaculated on a pair of yoga pants once.

Maid a toilet cleaner bomb and threw it in my neighbors yard

i once put an empty coke can in the trash instead of recycling it

Ive stuffed a log of shit into a drinking fountain where the water comes out of in a locker room in a pool that is commonly frequented by children. I was 11.

Had two distant cousins visit my family one summer. My brothers friend convinced me to suck air in my asshole and fart in their faces while they slept.

>tfw I did it

Reply to this post

What is someone still wearing them at the time?

Gonna expand on this since I'm bored.
Used to get into a prone position, as if a cat were about to pounce, you know when the cat has its ass in the air? Proceed to stick my ass in front of a standing fan and suck in all that glorious oxygen into my asshole.

Beat my cat to death with a brick by accident.
I was 11 at the time.

Caught a mole in my back yard, used sissors to break it's jaw wide open, then stuck a crayon down it's throat till it choked to death. That was were I was still a youngin though.

Had a fetish with used diapers when I went through puberty. Used to steal some from bathrooms and take them home.

I was doing this ass sucking long before my cousins arrived. By now, I was a professional and didn't even need a fan to inhale through my sphincter. Cousins fall asleep and I sneak into the room and proceed to gas their faces. Multiple ass blasts of airy farts suffocate my cousins. Spent around 20 minutes of farting in the faces.

Of course, there were set backs and one cousin would seem to wake up so I had to lay low for a few minutes and let them fall back asleep. This happened a few times, but I always returned a few minutes later to re-release the "it only smellz" gas. Hoping each time that as I farted in their face they would he inhaling my balloon knot's whispers.
We all woke up the next day to go to a water park and one cousin awoke to having nausea and throwing up. Too bad, he couldn't go to the slides with us. I'm pretty sure my asshole got my cousin sick.

>tl;dr Farted fecal wind into my cousins face and he couldn't go to the slides

How dare you!

very original too I must say

You need to KYS

thatt reminded me of that beaner that would nut on chicks at bus stops,,checkout lines and shit

Quit college collected refund money and bought 2 pounds of weed.

Bumped into someone and didnt say sorry

Washed out of the military a second time.

>beat to death
>by accident
Yeah i know that is
Once I accidentally hit a car with a bat seven times

i just got washed out....thinking about round two...no other alternative. did you get an RE-3?

Jesus Hieronymus Christ! How fucking degenerate can you get??

I've got two, one hardcore, one more Sup Forums appropriate

>Be in the military, convoy.jpg, children playing in the road, ran them over (Militants use children as bait for RPG ambushes)

>Used a friend to get close to his sister, stole her boots/heels, underwear, leggings. Housesat for them once, came on her dildo, etc.

Two things
1)
>be me
>be 3
>be in hippie christian commune preschool
>allowed to walk around the entire school and basically do water all day
>love my dogs
>pet my dogs
>dogs like
>see fish in class aquarium
>pretty shiny goldfish
>play vidya with fish in it
>fish are my friends
>want to pet fish
>try to pet them in tank, can't
>get net
>take fish out with net, fish is squirming around trying to breathe
>drop net
>ohfuck.doc
>he's still jumping around everywhere
>need him to calm the fuck down
>put me foot on him to keep him still
>...
> that afternoon we bury him in the school garden
>tfw noone saw me do it cuz I was the only one in the room
>tfw noone knew it was me
>tfw i knew
>tf when i'll always know
>rip.jpg

Liberal artist from my country did this as an art installation.

When to the museum.

I did from the Army, yes. The first time was from the Air Force during Basic, and I got 2C.

I washed out from the Army during AIT in 2008. Haven't had a paying job since.

Worst part is it was squealing so much and visible tears were polluting it's eyes. God why was I so ruthless?

>by accident
kek

2)
>be me
>be horny 16yr old
>been having hawt sex with my jew-goddess gf
>dat ass
>gf breaks up with me
>sex withdrawl
>dad is 50yrold white guy
>stepmom is 30yr latina hawtie
>dat ASS
>home alone for a week
>no gf
>tfw i jerked off into my stepmom's panties
>tfw it was a clean pair
>tfw i put it back and folded it after i wiped the cum off
>tfw i have to interact with her everyday
>tfw i dont know if she knows

Made a group of young guys strip naked for part of my job. I'm bisexual and got turned on but felt bad because they looked pretty embarrassed.

sucks. i hope i dont get washed out again. going navy this time *fingers crossed*

>Using "liberal" unironically

Fucking Gold...
Here's mine....
>Be me
11 years old
>just discovered fapping
>Over bearing parents make me sleep with door open
>In shower
primalurges.jpg
>clasp both hands around my limp penis and begin maneuvering them like a kamakazi pilot
Not working

>thinking hard
idea
>Penis is round
>shampoo bottle is round at the opening
>I take the cap off of the shampoo bottle
>shove my boy-shaft inside of it
OHYES.jpeg
>I begin thrusting like a fucking piston
>knock on the door
"user? You've been in there long enough, get out of the shower, now."
ohfuck.jpg
>try to pull it out
>it's too hard, it's stuck
>begin pulling on it to get it off, won't work
I pull my fucking hardest
>slip and fall
>shower rod came down with me, shower curtains would offer no help this day
Parents barge in
"What the he... WHAT THE HELL!"
>mfw my parents walked in on me with my dick stuck in a shampoo bottle, crying on the floor with a shower curtain on top of me
>mfw I'm a literal disappointment to my family
>mfw I got a bible for christmas
>mfw I already have one...

Wrote fuck you with bleach in someones carpet.

There is a site that lets you see your chances based on your RE-codes.

navycs.com/military-re-codes.html

I tried for years to get back in through the Navy, but time and again, they told me "no." I got busted out in an Army recruiting station for (desperately) trying to get in that way, humiliated in front of everyone. With the Navy, I got as far as until they realized I had been in twice before, and the recruiter called me while I was riding a bus home to let me know that I had no chance of ever getting back in according to the Navy Brass. I couldn't do anything but look down, then look out the window after we hung up, wondering what to do next.

That was last Summer.

>do water all day

>reply to this post
HAHAHA ORIGINAL

Happened to me 3 years ago
>Be me, an edgy 16 year old
>Play Xbox because I haven't discovered PC yet, not really.
>decide to play minecraft, because, what else will I do
>I had a few games, Black Ops 2 and Minecraft were by far my favourite
>I made many friends, deleted many friends, that's just how it works.
>I made one friend, edgy 16 year old like me at the time, he changed his gamertag, but he was known as "T-Reks"
>Well, anyway T-Reks and I became friends, pretty good friends and we decided to play some minecraft
>damngood.jpg
Well, anyway, I made a world, on survival mode, peaceful, because I was a noob, T-Reks asked to join ,I said sure, why not.
>We played for a week straight until this new kid started joining the server
>Kids name was Adam1922 I'll just refer to him as Adam
> Well, We played on the world every day for at least an hour and Adam would join every other day or so and just work in his corner of the map
I ask T-Reks who he is, T-Reks tells me he's some kid that just added him one day
>whatever.gif
>Adam started playing every day, this is a month in
>Adam for the first time ever, plugged in his mic

Now thats a good one! I will remember that

Cont.
>Adam would always say thank you for letting him play with us before he logged off
>He sounded like he had autism, not making a joke.
>We would talk to Adam every day and ask him questions
>Adam decided to tell us he liked this one girl at his school, we talked him into giving us her kik
>T-Reks sent her dick pics pretending to be Adam
>Adam gets on the next day
>He doesnt sound like he normally does, I ask him what's wrong
>Crying.jpg
>Adam got his ass kicked by the girls boyfriend at school
>T-Reks laughs and starts calling Adam names like "faggot, retard, autismo"
>Adam just laughed along with him
>A week passed and T-Reks and I would make fun of Adam every day, Adam rolled with the punches
>One day, we went over to see what Adam was building while he wasn't on

>Adam had built a house, inside was a empty, but outback behind his actually nice house, there was a "grave" with a sign attached, it said "I love you dad"
>T-Reks and I destroy the house and save the game
>Adam gets on the after we do it and plays for a bit, until we here him say he’s going back to his house
>We hear Adam yell "Why did you guys destroy my house!!? I didn't do anything to you!"
>T-Reks started calling him a faggot and saying "well, if you love your daddy so much, why don’t you get him to build you a new one?" then I laughed with him at Adam
>Crying.jpg
>we call Adam a crybaby faggot
>GoDrinkBleach.jpg
>Adam cries some more, then we decided to find his character and kill him over and over again
>Adam starts talking to us
>"Why would you do this to me? I thought we were friends?"
>We were never your fucking friends Adam, get the fuck over it you fucking pussy, fuck you, you autistic faggot

I knew I needed a waiver, but this helps. thanks!

Cont.
> Adam says more
> "This is why I don't play with people, this is why I told my mom I didn’t want to get minecraft or any games. I came on here and thought you two were my friends, my only friends. I don’t have friends in real life, no one likes me, no one wants me around. All they do is call me autistic and retarded and useless, no girls at my school like me, they think I'm a freak, no one likes me, no one even gives me a chance"
>"This was all I had, ever since my dad died, I came on here to get away from everything, my dad died, then my mom had to get another job, so I couldn’t see her anymore, then I finally tricked a girl into being my friend. Her boyfriend beat me up and I had to go to the hospital, my mom had to take out a loan to pay for my broken ribs. I waited at home every day for you to get on so I could play with you, my only two friends in my life, why does nobody like me. Why don’t you like me. Why..."
>Adam cried for 5 more minutes while T-Reks laughed at him.
>Adam never said anything rude back to us
>Adam went offline
Cont.
>Checked Adam's friend list
>It was just me and T-Reks
>Adam didn’t log back on for a week
>Then I received a written message from him

That sucks. I originally went CG, and failed my PT run by like 2 minutes. I got 6 months before I can even do anything. It will give me some time to get into shape I hope. My recruiter said I was good to go. Shouldn't have listened to him..

Cont.
> The message was as follows “Hello user, I don’t know you, and you don’t know me, but you knew Adam and I’m his mother. I’m so sorry to tell you this, but Adam committed suicide. I just wanted to let you know that you made him happy, he never really had friends at school because of his disability, so it warmed my heart to know that he had a friend as good as you there for him. He was always smiling after playing with you and would tell me endless stories of your adventures with him and your other friend. Thank you.”
>ThisIsAJoke.gif
>No Way Adam would an hero
I found out an hour later through Adam's Facebook page, which was easy to find because his name was on his bio, that he had killed himself and wrote a letter.
>in short "I can't stand this world anymore, I can't be a burden to anyone anymore and I can't do anything right. I can't live without my dad anymore, and I can't live off of my mom anymore, I just want it to end"
>I couldn't cry, I couldn't do anything but stare
>I deleted T-Reks as a friend and got rid of the rest of my Xbox friends. The last thing I did on Minecraft was rebuild Adam's house and fixed his "grave" with the addition of a new one beside it... his.
>feelsbad…
>feels real bad….
>Feel horrible
>fix Adam's world, delete T-Reks as friend
>Put new grave next to Adam's dad's, his.
>Put world on USB
>Put USB in box
>pic related
it's the USB

Good luck. Words can't really describe the shame and guilt I feel on a daily basis, even nearly 10 years later.

I drank a smoothy made of cum and poop and salt because some people on Sup Forums told me to.

vid.me/MRut

Stop saying mfw so much. It's annoying and detracts from your story, which was already shitty to begin with. You only need to say that shit like once per post, if at all.

Jesus, dude, how old were you? That is messed up.

meant to say 'whatever' :/

It was really depressing to have to go back and explain my situation to everyone. I understand the feeling of shame.

I was discharged from the CG on the 31st

Dammit user how dare you meke me shed a tear

>tfw you cant stop me faggot

wrong # tag...

That true, but I gave you the advice so you wouldn't look like such a blatant newfag. So if you want to ignore it feel free, but you're not doing yourself any favors.

Like 12-13

>blatant newfag
says the blatant newfag
An Hero, nigger

pouring out a bottle of jack daniels in the sink.

maudes!!!

Hey look, you finally found different buzzwords to use. Good job.

>> dont use mfw too much, its not what we do here
How long have you been here? Faggot

i answer this thread.

That's a merciful thing.

> be me, 16
> hornyasfuck.gif
> girl in class infront of me wears leggins
A WILD WHALE TAIL APPEARS
> begin to rub penor through pocket
> stealh technology™
O SHi- AM COMING
> squirt manyoghurt into hand, through pocket cloth.
whatnow.webm
HOLD IT LIKE THAT! HOOOOOLD IT! HOOOOOOOOOLD IT!
> pretend to be bored, calm down.
10min later...
> class ends, people getting up, packing books into backpacks.
> pull out and, try to fling yoghurt off of hand under desk
> mfw airborne yoghurt hits whale-tailgirl's back.
> she doesn't notice
> phew.jpg

To this day, I sometimes fap to her whale tail, and I'm 34 now.

Long enough to know overusing and/or misusing buzzwords is the easiest way to detect newfags trying desperately to fit in.

also, just for the record, i never said mfw
only ever tfw

>tfw 'tfw master race'

Oh man, I'm sorry you have to carry that memory

I've been here longer than you, main reason why i posted a 4 year old story
Real oldfags dont care about "buzzwords" its how the real Sup Forumstards here talk, you stupid inbred nigger
I can tell tell you to An Hero
I can call you a faggot
I can tell how big of a faggot you are, the summer fags are coming early this year
>mfw summerfag on thread

This hurts my eyes

Hey man, just trying to give you advice to help you fit in. Sure is an odd reaction you have to people trying to help you, but whatever. If you insist on sounding like an annoying twat I guess I can't stop you.

>people trying to help you
holy fuck, it's like a cell-block of niggers came here form plebbit and decided to overrun the place with autistic kykes
people don't "help" eachother around here newfriend
if you had been fucking lurking here before october, you would know that

Die

once again, just for the record 90% of the posts you're replying to is some other user, I made 'tfw' story, but the faggot you're arguing with aint me, I get your message
now stfu please

I guess attempt suicide. Fucked up my family and best friend. unrepairable shit. im sorry family, damien

Beat up my dad when we were both drunk. He was a drunk (so was I) but he was never violent - he didn't deserve that.

>ever done
More like about to do.
We were never married but I've stood her back through 5 kids and 16 years. All of my friends have said I should find somebody better but I'm a man of my word, so I've stood her back even when she left me for a time. We've been working out our problems but ... well, it just isn't there.
She just found out she's dying, btw.
She has cancer.
>oh the irony
Ive always been there for her, but I've also always been left high and dry all these years.
>tfw sex just isn't enough and you ache
>just to be held

There's this woman I work with.
She's ten years younger than me, one of my managers even, and I'm head over heels for her even though I know absolutely nothing about her.
We've flirted a lot. Nothing too lewd because work and all, but there's something there. When the time comes I'm leaving a woman I've devoted half my life to for a woman who shows interest that I know nothing about. The worst part is I already know we'd be terrible for each other, but I don't care anymore.

The mother of my children I dying and I don't care because she was never there for me.

came to Sup Forums

Dammit, I came for laughs, not feels

This better be true faggot.

EXPLAIN

walking through the grocery store. found $40 on the ground. instantly scooped it up and put it in my pocket.

a minute later, an older guy and a young kid come around the corner, frantically looking around, both crying, the dad saying, "don't worry buddy, we'll find it. we have to if we're gonna eat this week." they're scanning the floor, kid picks up a discarded napkin and throws it back down. they pass me and the guy asks, "hey, i'm sorry to bother you, but you didn't find some cash on the ground, did you?"

"nope," i told him. "sorry."

bought my groceries and an extra pack of oreos and went home.

>Worst thing you've ever done?
I didn't get these dubs checked.

May you live in interesting times.

I once had consensual sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation

You cunt

...

...

It's too easy to say it was your mom

More details about both please. Wanna know how children are used by militants and also how old the sister was and what kind of dildo she had

pretty cool

What does washed out mean?