I NEED TO LOSE MY ARM TONIGHT

I NEED TO LOSE MY ARM TONIGHT

HOW DO I MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_integrity_identity_disorder
youtube.com/watch?v=NXpsssMsfNM
youtube.com/watch?v=eBPqksG9nbA
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Engage Count Dooku without waiting for your Master

Woodchipper, snowblower, lawnmower, bandsaw, put your car in neutral and let it back over it

We talking up to the elbow? The shoulder? Give us some specifics mang.

How would any of those look like an accident

Elbow or shoulder

It would be nice to know why, and how far up you gotta lose. Everything below the elbow is one thing, but losing everything past the shoulder really complicates things.

Chop it off with a motorbike.

Drive into oncoming traffic with your arm out the window.

Why? Doesn't feel like it's yours?

even if you do PROPOSEDLY it will be an accident
just do it faggiit

Are you retarded?

No it doesn't feel like mine. I'm just going for below the elbow

touch a frog and don't wash your hand

I don't have a bandsaw car wood chipper or snowblower. I'm losing it tonight so the mower is out of the question.

Get a job at Wal-Mart or whatever your country's equivalent is. Shove your arm into the cardboard baler at the last second after someone turns it on.

Why an accident, shouldn't it be legal to chop off your own arm.

tie hand to back bumper of car.
sit and wait for car to take off
tears arm off
win

why tonight? i feel like this is a decision you shouldn't rush.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_integrity_identity_disorder

Accidentally touch a piece of food when washing dishes, people would understand and not judge you.

are you one of those faggots that hate having two arms and want to chop off one just for that?

I live with parents still, they can't know I want it gone.

Wouldn't that just drag me?

All those nasty mental health laws get in the way. They'd try to send him to a looney bin. Which is probably what he needs, but is also far less entertaining.

I can give you a good way to lose your arm, but you have to give me a better reason for losing it than "It doesn't feel like mine".

If there are any trains that go by your house, go and stick your arm on the train tracks and wait.

Give backstory or fuck off faggot

Why has nobody asked why OP wants to cut off their arm?

Would you rather I came up with some long narrative about a sadistic gang leader?

youtube.com/watch?v=NXpsssMsfNM

We have retard

kek

Anything I can do guys? I'll cal 911 on my nightly walk

If you live with your parents and they have a garage, pull the garage door up, then slowly pull it back down until gravity catches it and pulls it the rest of the way, then you just have to stick your and under the door near the ground. Won't work if it's one of those automatic garage doors openers though.

We'd rather you give us the truth. It doesn't do you much good asking us to write the next chapter to your story if we write a chapter of Cowboy Bebop when you were looking for a chapter of Spongebob.

youtube.com/watch?v=eBPqksG9nbA

Don't have a garage

I have BIID

Well then maybe you should save us some time and guesswork and tell us exactly what you DO have access to, otherwise this is going to go nowhere fast.

Fuckin kek

An axe, some knives, and string. I could say I was attacked on my walk I guess.

Nigger, don't lose your arm for that while you live with the parental units. BIID means that the problem is purely psychosomatic, and you obviously know and accept that you have BIID, which means that you know that there's no real problem.

I'm not against you losing body parts just because you want to; I wouldn't want you to do something that I wouldn't do myself, and I plan on eventually indulging my emasculation fetish. However, there is a place and time, and so long as you live with your parents the time is neither here nor now.

>Cut off circulation to your arm with a belt.
>Stick syringe in arm.
>wait til someone finds you

Just looks like overdose and the doctors might do it for you. Nice and clean

Well aren't you just fucking MacGuyver. Just use the axe dipshit.

I don't want anyone thinking I'm back on drugs

Post results later please

Ok here we go..

Rig the axe with the string attached to a door, so it will fall and lop off your arm when you open the door

Maybe you should be

Like nightmare on elm street?

Plus how will it look like an accident

This.
I wanna see results

Yeah but I don't even know where to get the needle... I only knew a dealer through a friend but everyone got busted

You can say a friend pulled a prank on you.

Shit do I have to do all the work for you? I wouldn't even mind going further and just getting rid of both your arms and legs for you.

You can buy insulin syringes at the pharmacy.

But I meant maybe you should be on drugs

Yeah I got what you meant. So at 18 I can just get empty syringes? Won't the hospital check to see what entered my bloodstream?

Start jacking off with that arm. Within a month you will have humiliated and degraded it enough for it to submit to you and be your arm again. Happened to my uncle twice

>April fools
>set up prank for buddy
>he's a little uptight, needs a good laugh at himself to get his head out of his ass
>hear him walking down hallway
>get out camera
>giggle to myself
>friend opened door
>hatchet swings down and severs arm
>friend falls to ground, blood everywhere
>just a prank