Spiders can't harm me in any way

>spiders can't harm me in any way
>still get slight panic attack when I see one or get close to one
>sometimes even have nightmares about spiders

Why are spiders such faggots?

Dumbass, even with the US's decent medical system, 7 people still die ever year to spiders.

Spiders are the closest thing the earth has to demons, along with some deep sea creatures.

They're awful, disgusting and move way too god damn fast. A fear or at least caution of spiders is totally justified because a fair deal of them can inflict painful (sometimes toxic bites). Spiders are demonic ugly faggots and the more you learn about them the more disgusted you are. Fuck spiders.

I like the spider threads, reminds me that I'm European and thus don't have to deal with those fucking giant spiders on a daily basis.

We may have the migrants and the mudslims but at least we don't have the spiders.

My theory is something about the quick movement and the excessive number of eyes and legs creates an inherent loathing in humans. Though in North America there are really only a couple of species that can actually ruin your day, the brown recluse or the black widow for example.

Here where I live the worst I have in my home are cockroaches and flies. I really don't envy the Australians with all those spiders, snakes and other garbage being their neighbours.

that

>spiders can't harm me in any way

Obviously never been to Australia

>spiders can't harm me in any way

I have some news that may upset you user.

Um, you do know it's not normal to have fucking cockroach infestations in your house, right user?

I'd rather have spiders tbh....

Do we have any fans of spiders here?

Me and a few workmates used to keep spiders in jars on our desks and feed them up on bugs and flies then occasionally have fights where we would throw them both in the same jar.

Usually fuck all would happen for a few hours then after lunch one would be gone and the winner declared.

Australian here. I shit you not, I found a huntsman spider larger than my palm in my kitchen tonight. Spray only pissed it off so I used the mighty thong to kill. Fucking hate spiders when I'm trying to have dinner.

Its the legs. Long legs are okay, many legs are okay, but a bunch of long legs are freaky.

Big Orb Weavers are my prize. Living in suburban land, they're bitches to find. You really have to look out of the way to locate one.

Was it a special work program for retards?

Brazilian fag here!
Spiders here are hardcore too, once i was on the bathroom taking a shit, looking at the wall for nothing, on the bottom left of my vision i see something moving, its a big spider LOOKING AT ME!

For the first time i called my wife to help me

I used to work at a Netflix call center, and took a lot of calls from AU. Now I know why you guys are always pissed

yep. i love them all

>Australia
are you sure about that?

Because spiders are actually aliens. They are not natural and our bodies sense that. They don't belong here - that's why pretty much every human is either scared of them or feels slightly uncomfortable.

>decent medical system.

Is this true? Europeans don't spiders? What about snakes? and more specifically, what about water Moccasins?

We have spiders, but not dangerous ones.

Yes we have snakes too. Can't speak for anywhere else but UK, but here the only native snakes are non-venomous.

What the fuck is a water moccasin?

It's a deadly snake that hides in the water and makes swimming a terrifying activity.

>spiders can't harm me in any way
Dude, just because they probably won't kill you doesn't mean they won't rot your skin or someshit.

You're most likely to get nipped in your sleep. No use fearing them in the day.

....... decent medical system? We don't have that venomous of spiders anyway, it's small kids who tend to die. Black widows and recluse have never killed an adult human except one case where they weren't even sure if the bite killed them, it's a localized venom and hurts like hell and cause part of you to look like a black hole. I got bit by a brown recluse when I was younger

Not deadly

In the UK we have Adders but their venom isn't all that potent. Something like 10 fatalities century.

Maybe a bit of an exaggeration, venomous though. And no doubt a bitch to get bitten by.

>Brown recluse

Fucking welfare, man.

Yeah, and it's very very rare to see them. I'm 35 and have never seen one in my life.

I have some large golden orbs, or at least orbs that look like them. Their webs can get up to 12 ft tall. I like em. Live and let live. Really the only time I get bit by a spider is when I Fuck with them.


Let em be, and they'll chill
Fuck with one and don't kill it, that mother Fucker will plot against you and bite you hours later when you're not expecting it.

Tldr, spiders are vengeful creatures. Fuck with one and u better kill it, or it will kill you

Water moccasin, common known as Cotton Mouth

46 - seen 1 and that was in the middle of nowhere on a field trip.

Hahaha. Not that rare buddy boy. If I wanted to see one today, id have to travel about a mile.

Why would you have anything against spiders?
I think they're pretty cool.

Because a mile away is 'Dave's Adder Emporium'

...

Maybe I was confused and thought that's what the English called water moccasins.
Fuck water moccasins.

Because long ago when we were Neanderthals, Earth's oxygen levels were much higher than they are today, causing insects and arachnids to be the size of medium to large breeds of dogs nowadays. Spiders were a legit predator back then, and even though we've evolved to be the bigger species, that primal fear still lingers in our mind.

That plus they're creepy to look at anyway. But I usually don't kill them when I see one. I'd rather have 1 spiderbro chillin out eating bugs than have a bunch of little bugs everywhere.

Yes, yes everyone did.

It's no fun when you're that blatant.

This will now never be a spiderman thread.

Bullshit. You're referring to the Carboniferous period which was 300+ million years ago. Way before mammals let alone primates.

And no we didn't evolve from Neandertals. We coexisted for a while and may have interbred but we certainly didn't evolve from them.

I am sitting here imagining the faces of the yanks as they wonder why you are hitting a spider with a g string
Where I live it's all fucking red backs and wolf spiders

They got big also because of the increased magnetic field.

People who call tech support are always morons.

Even most Aussies know how to google it.

Here in Italy no big spiders

But a lot of feminized boys, lack of culture and no proper education.

I live in Western Pennsylvania in a wooded area. In my house I deal with Banana Spiders Wolf Spiders and the occasional little Crab Spider. I hate them. The wolf spiders get to be the size of my palm sometimes.

I see a spider at least once a day

looks sneaky

>has thongs lying around for smacking things
>kangaroos are their trash animals
>"dingo 8 mai babeh"
>killer ants
>decendents of british criminals
>Australia is to britian what alabama is to USA
>meth meth meth meth meth meth meth meth

What the fuck is wrong you people?!??!?!

I think he meant tongs, not thongs

Get bit while swimming and see how not deadly the water in your lungs is

he meant flip flops

same x9000

oh jeeze, that makes sense I guess. I was thinking of the underwear when I read thongs

> decent medical system

I suppose the medical system is better than in say Africa.

7?????????? Holy shit

Literally 100x more people die from falling out of bed a year.

>spider bit my face,
>bite gets infected
>have to go to urgent care center to get it drained

>be in Australia
>see spider
>keep shoes on or the murder ants will get me
>no paper or any kind nearby since we still carve onto rocks
>see cooking grabbers
>battle theme plays
>proceed to wildly flail hotdog picker uppers at arachnid
>long battle
>hp and mp almost gone
>no potions left
>mash attack button
>critical hit
>spider hp finally down to 0
>battle over
>many dead
>house destroyed
>tong durability at 2 percent
>battle music plays again
>"life in Australia"

10/10 great read, would watch the movie adaptation

>looks snakey
FTFY

Semi-correct as always user. It's just instinct because spiders can kill. It's hardwired in our brains.

>tfw aussies call flip flops, foot thongs
>tfw aussies call kangaroos, big bouncy rats
>tfw aussies call dingos, population control
>tfw aussies call illicit activities, charity work
>tfw aussies call their native american equivalents, dirty filthy sand monkeys

Yer on the right track m8

We had to ban an episode of Peppa Pig in Australia cause it taught kids tha spiders are friends and not to be affraid of them.

kek

Probably just a publicity stunt.

If a kid is dumb enough to play with a funnelweb, he was probably destined to die before 5 anyway.

All kids are dumb like that user. That kid could've grown up to cure cancer but you're saying a kid is destined to die? kek

I hate cockroaches

And check out muh dubs

>spiders can't harm me in any way
Considering I almost lost my leg 2 years ago from a brown recluse, I'd have to disagree.

I know somebody who got bit by a brown recluse and all he did was out neosporin on the bite and peeled away the rotting skin for a couple weeks and it healed.

Zebra spiders = best

It's actually evolutionary. People are naturally afraid of spiders because it helped us survive once.

Do you live in some shit country like the Philippines?

This post is amazing

It's a crap shoot. I know a guy that got bit by a non venomous spider on the leg, while we were at work. He got a staph infection and lost the leg above the knee.

Wouldn't advise that over going to a doctor...