What is a good method to kill yourself, but also not hurt your family? Here's the situation:

What is a good method to kill yourself, but also not hurt your family? Here's the situation:

Two kids, age 7 and 12
Wife is fucked up in head
Kids are assholes
Job is ok, make good money
Can't take the pain any more

I want to kill myself, but make sure my kids aren't fucked up by now having a dad

I have a $5 million life insurance policy by will not pay out for suicide

Idea #1: go on darknet, download massive amounts of CP, submit anonymous tip to police. Get arrested, plead guilty, go to prison for long time. Get murdered in prison (fuck with negros and Mexicans so they murder me)

This solution would make my family think I'm some asshole pedo, and when I get killed they all think good riddance. Family gets insurance money, I get killed.

Idea #2: Boating accident. I have a shitty small boat. Take it way off shore, drown myself, sink to bottom, never get found. Downside to this is kids are fucked up because their dad is dead.

What to do Sup Forums?

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Kill yourself

I would go boat

Try cutting yourself and bleeding all over the inside of it so it looks like someone found you and tried to kill you

if your gonna kill yourself then just do it. you won't be able to care when ur dead. so just get on with it also rule 32 OP

user, I'm living with about 200$ a month and I don't want to kill myself even if my life is shitty. Do you need a talk buddy? I can try to help you.

gtfo you are ruining the thread

>Put Isis flags around your office
>Build a bomb
>Walk around with said bomb around your waist
>Threaten people while holding detonator
>Get shot by police

I'll be here until the thread dies, [email protected] . Email me OP.

>Two kids, age 7 and 12
>Kids are assholes
lol
>Wife is fucked up in head
>not hurt your family?
Sounds like you dont really like them, why do you want to protect them?

I say you get you're wife drunk have her sign a prenup, file for clean divorce. Disappear one night and move to the other side of the county and start over.

so what the fuck is your actual problem? if it's the wife, just leave her.

Don't do it man. Your life is more important. I believe in you

> this.

In almost any predominantly black neighborhood.
You'll get gunned up and clapped quick.

Kill them before yourself. Duh.

This. And it'll most likely be on the news somewhere so we'll know you actually did it and aren't just baiting for attention

Great picture OP, sadly it doesn't convey the smell of shit and piss that was likely in the room when the cops found him.

If your 7 year old is an asshole then it's your fault. Just kill yourself already and let a real man step in to take your place.

What is your Job OP? Maybe you can kill yourself at work and make it look like an accident or if not start a fire at work and "get trapped"

Go to Harlem for a business trip and yell FUCK NIGGERS

>insta-kill

Order a hitman of darknet or somin

ye dont kill yourself OP, just get a divorce or something,,

i don't have my own family, as in, wife, kids, and our problems are probably not the same

but some times ago, they placed me into another position at my job, and i was working with that girl until now, since 3 years, but,, not anymore,,

we wont be far,, but its not like that daily chating, etc.. i wont be seeing her daily or even monthly or who knows how long, and i felt so bad i almost cried,, when they told me, my boss is nice woman tho, but it would have been still pretty lame to cry like "bbhaa-wawaaww,, but i like her,, noo, i dont want to go..noooooo, i want to work with her"

you could say thats a simple X like Y and now is hearth broken cause they split up,, and sure, but what im trying to get to, is there are other bad stuff going on in my life, and i probably dont make as much money as you do. im sure of that.

And then again, we might as well say, your problem is "another" i hate my wife/kids/life blablabla,,

really, cant you just get a divorce? also,, its easy to write it down, but could you really go through with your plan? like fucking with gangs there, in the prison?

i mean sure, you dont really need courage, since they might as well kill you anyway, even if you do nothing,, but,, it really is easier to type this down, then actually do it

Pic related

If you kill your family before you kill yourself, they won't need insurance money.

>I want to kill myself, but make sure my kids aren't fucked up by now having a dad
Whether you understand it or not: Your family needs you. People can act like assholes without meaning it, and children are good at beeing ungrateful little cunts - hell, maybe they even mean it, but the knowledge that your father killed himself and that it's your own fault is a lot to drop on a kid. It will fuck up their lifes, also your wives life but (not so litereally) fuck her.
Either you take it some more even though it's a thankless job or you take the easy route.

Fake it. Pic related

dont do the prison thing, the niggers and brownies will beat the shit out of you constantly, but just not enough so you won't die

I have a simular issue, what I do is when I go out at night with friends, I leave earlier just to take really long walks in the night, at district where stabbing rate is relatively high compared to other parts of the town, good luck with yer plan op

The only way they're not going to suffer long term is to kill them all as well. I would go for strangulation while they sleep.

And thus a new serial killer was born.

Buy a gun. Get up in the middle of the night. Tie up kids, fuck them and then shoot them both (unless one or both is a boy, then just shoot them. don't go out a fag)

Yell "WHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR?" Grab your wife, shoot her in the lower spine and then blow your head off all over her.

Be sure to spend all your money on stupid shit like 20,000 TMNT puzzles and burn them in a warehouse so she's left with nothing.

>father to 7 and 12
>want to an hero
>dont want this to mess the kids up

Take the kids with you, pretty much the only way.

Those are the best ideas you came up with?

I agree, you should kill yourself.

You guys are funny, but no good suggestions yet.

Agreed. But if they their dad was a pedo who was murdered in prison they won't think it's their fault.

Also, $5 million going to them will help.

Thanks but I'm good. I really do appreciate your offer. You are a good person.

No need to talk, but how do you live off $200/mo?

I make $240,000 a year and it does not bring happiness.

>Job is ok, make good money
What is your job? I'll figure out what you need to do.

Cutting is stupid, and will easily be ruled a suicide. Just stick with a simple drowning. The more simple it is, the better. No rocks in your clothes or anything, just exhale, sink, and drink water till you're breathing it

Mrs. Kennedy had a fine ass goddamn

Just kill your whole family. That way no one will suffer

stream it if you do it

Same here. It's actually brought me a lot of trouble and bitches after the cash.

Literally everyone I've been with lately has a boyfriend they've been hiding.

Just go away when everyone is asleep.
But you have to plan it.

> Dont write, text or type anything about suicide for a while. Insurance companies WILL dig
> A few weeks from now, walk out in front of a truck while looking at something random on your phone. Bonus points if you're looking up holidays somewhere your kids want to go, looking up romantic restaurants or texting your wife saying you love her. It will give them a little comfort

Why don't you just not kill yourself and try to fix the problems in your life? Like, what is so bad about your life that you have come to this conclusion? You literally only have one life to live and then are dead for eternity, trying to find out solutions to your problems is a much better idea, as you may not know truly how great life can be.

Don't do it bro, you can always change things around.

Be a good dad to your kids, mine are in a different country and it fucking kills me everyday. You are so lucky that you can spend time with them. Yeah they can be assholes, that's kind of their job... they will be way worse without you.

Sorry, not much advice I can offer on the fucked up in the head wife just that I know how bad that can be.

Why don't you find a strip club, go on the $10 lapdance and cheep beer day. Have hot chicks grind on your dick for a few hours.

That's why I'm asking on Sup Forums. Getting hit by a truck seems like a bad way to go, and I could end up living and being retarded or paralyzed.

There's an old video of a girl on a bike in traffic, and she falls over just as a dump truck goes by. Head explodes like a watermelon. I thought about that but not sure how to make it look like an accident, plus then my kids would be fucked up.

why wouldnt you just extradite to peru you literal retard? ditch your ugly kids, crazy baby momma, and that shit job youre too afraid to admit you hate all in one go! just take the money and run you brainless nigger

It's a long time coming. Imagine having constant emotional and mental pain, all day every day. You just don't want to be in pain any more.

I know it's a pissy way out, but it's time. I'm 42 years old and have been wanting to do this since I was 30.

doesnt matter how you do it, you wont care after the fact, also better to expose your kids to the horrors of the world than to set them up in some shitty drama special

Because then I'm still alive you illiterate, prepubescent cocksmoker. I want to die not start over in niggerland.

thicc

Dude, if you're bored just leave everything and
move away. Take some money for backup,
move on another continent and start working
in a bar. It's a lot easier to go back home to
if you start missing your family than it is to
invent ghosting when you're ded.

Since youre dying OP and your familys going to be ultra rich could I have 50,000$, you can transfer it to my paypal, p.s its going to a good cause ;). Anyways I don't think you should think you should do it, I can't imagine how the children would feel.

Nigger have you seen the girls in peru? didnt think so. its like a goddamn summer vacation over here compared to the states. enjoy pussing out of the whole thing and continuing your whiny/cunty existence

What pain? Being with your wife and kids? Fucking dump them and reinvent living.

I do have constant emotional and mental pain. I thought I wanted to die also, then when it came down to it I realized I didn't want to die... just wanted the pain to end. Then I realized it was myself that was creating the pain in my head in a weird way. I'm 48 so I kind of understand what you are going through, life is fucking awesome if you allow it to be. Even when it's fucked up just keep going, try to focus on the positive stuff cause we all know how much bad is out there to focus on.

Focus on the wins, I think you think suicide is the way out because you've been thinking about it instead of the actual issues. Not judging you or anything, just saying try to look at things a different way... give it a chance.

Maybe even bring your wife flowers, take the kids to Disneyland (nevermind the lines will make you want to kill yourself lol) just do some Life is Wonderful shit, believe me you don't want to go to the dark side. Hope this makes sense.

youtube.com/watch?v=Eun-iZv9hsU

you don't need to do any of that. just leave and go live someplace else you dork

This is when you tell the kids and wife how you feeel... straight up and then you get a small apartment in any town or rural place you can afford if need be. And you rest easy paying your rent and eating mcdonalds. If the kids dont want to keep being total assholes theyll possibly live with you or at least understand... if everyones a dick...... fuck it. Dont let those closest to you ruin your life because it seems politically correct. Stand up for whats right. Give them an option then save your life and move on.

Its for surgery and tuition btw OP :(

Don't do the pedo thing. That will fuck them up way worse than you just killing yourself. Also, I think you would lose your insurance once you become a criminal. Your kids will be fucked up no mattter how you die. My addvice is to suffer in silence till your kids are older. Find a dad-like hobby to distract yourself. Fishing is good.

Idea #2 take a dead body from a morge and put it in the boat,then u can run free.Pray with the dna confirmation.

Buy whip cream chargers (whip its), a breaker, and a bag. It's painless, cost's about 30$, takes 10minutes, and makes no mess. Also, you'll die in euphoria.

hookers OP HOOKERS 240k a year and u wanna kill yourself? r u fucking retarded. u could have 12 hookers at once everyday. whats ur deal dude. smoke some crack and get some hookers youll be alright

hate to be that guy, but who is this?