ITT: Useless and pointless super powers
>The ability to slowly erode rocks by 1cm every 10 years
ITT: Useless and pointless super powers
the ability to summon a lamp once
The ability to shit post on b but only if mods don't ban me.
>ability to turn invisible when nobody is watching
You could sneak past security cameras.
The ability to read minds of people that speak a language you don't know
holy shit... are you the all powerful and majestic ocean?
Nope, somebody's watching
What happens when someone's watching the footage? Live? Recorded?
Not useless. Time to break into a bank and walk right past the security cameras.
Super strength but only in the glutes/ass
you could squat buildings and shit though
Easy, learn to recite it back, have someone translate
Breathe underwater unless wet.
The ability to conjure up as many pogs as you want
Ability to feel sadness.
The power to hover 1 inch above ground
ability to become illiterate
Have the knowledge to make any future tech within 10 years.
But no way of communicating it or making it.
Like the idea is "on the tip of your tongue."
The ability to freeze time but you are also frozen (including your conscience like everyone else)
Does it count for water/lava
>Ground
>Water/lava
Is an oil coating "wet"
The ability to transform your penis into a comb.
>The ability to speak in tongues
The ability to begin installation of windows 10 OS upon touching any device.
>someone looks away
>turn invisible
>he can't watch me again cause I'm invisible
the ability to fly 3 inches above the soil
>only the soil.
>no roads
Oh shit
If you're a girl: Able to suck dick better than anybody else, but only on traps.
If you're a guy: Have the best feeling penis, but only to other males.
If you're gay: same as above but only to females.
the ability to blow something up every time I finish ejaculating
The ability to talk to trees, fish, and all the creatures of land and sea.
They can't talk back or even understand what you're saying, though.
Anti rape power, not useless
>tries to squat 2 tons
>breaks lower back cuz no back support
I could engineer up some way to generate electricity from that. Unlimited conjuring things is never useless.
You can fly but for about half a second, making it just jumping a bit higher
soooo not breathing underwater kek
You have that super power right now user
whats a pog?
keked hard
The ability to unlock your potential
>virus ravages pc
>don't care lol touch the pc
>reinstall OS of choice after everything has been killed
>instant tech support
deadlift yes, but squat no. 2 tons no problems
Ability to calm jittery squirrels
Ability to instantly prolapse your own anus
Ability to breathe soup
Magnetic colon
What if I'm bi and into traps too?
sounds completely useful.. during lunch
The ability to sell produce masterful pieces of art or wonderful feats of engineering but only under the employ of the Chinese government.
good when you need to pretend to be retarded
Really bendy thumb
Out of here with that bullshit
sounds american as fuck there man
your spine would break because the muscles in your back would not be able to support the weight... you do know when you squat shits all the way on top of your shoulders right?
Plus other muscles are involved
>calves, hams, quads
The ability to make feminazis lose weight through exercise
How about a pog burning factory in orbit?
>know somebody else gonna invent it
>invest before it takes off
>????????
>prophet
The possibilities are endless
Lightning-fast mood swings
>Ability to calm jittery squirrels
THIS
But you don't know how to describe what you're thinking. How can you invest in what you can't communicate?
Becoming Jewish for 20 minutes, but you look like Shawn King
The ability to be disabled
ya ask google
Ability to communicate with corn
doesn't matter faggot
future tech implies somebody made it
one just looks out for whrn it's taking off and then invest
no need to commumicate
wow man... taking shit way too seriously. also of course it's all the way to the top of the shoulders, how the fuck do you squat?
The ability to eat glass
nah once theyre attractive, guys will like them and theyll change for the better. Thats pretty useful
I don't even believe in that shit. I just like to fuck
doesn't matter, you thought about it, you just wait for someone else to make your invention and then fight for patent rights and if that doesn't work, invest in the company like other user said.
Totally useful.
that's what I'm tryin to say though, you couldn't squat shit, only stop people from sticking things up your ass
the ability to teleport naked into places with no oxygen content
>space
So what both of you is saying is, just because I thought of the fucking internet before AOL was even a thing, I have the rights to it? No, that's not how it fucking works. I have patents of my own ideas, you have to have a description of what you are thinking to give to the patent officer. They look to see if there are any other ideas like that, if not it's yours and if somebody else invents it, then you get the profit.
the ability to cook food with the soles of my feet while doing yoga
Immortality + suicidal depression
look buddy, I like chicken and waffles, but you're pissing vinegar here
that reminds me
the power to vomit vinegar only when a cute girl is around
that's the ultimate super power... for a faggoty ass vegan
the ability to telepathically control hamsters
The ability to cook 1 minute rice in 59 seconds
the ability to give 10,000 euros to people I hate deeply
the ability to cause a car crash but only if I am severely injured somehow 5 minutes later
the power to eat methane and shit tin foil
the power to end this thread
the ability to donate unlimited blood coupled with an incredible fear of needles and bleeding.
Your bones will glow but you have to break them like glow sticks first.
the power to love
Have you seen mystery men.
the power to become a meme and flood anonymous servers every time my gf is on her period
The ability to look at the sun.
having the power to emit sunshine from my asshole when my pants are on
the power to become a mysterious man
>Your body will always remain at sea level.
the power to control undamaged sprinkler heads
the power to throw a 50 megaton punch and not let it connect with anything
I'd take it, if I go to jail mighty buttocks will defend from any rapist and can smash right through the walls with a simple thrust
The ability to make dogs aggressive towards you.
the ability to look like Jerry Springer
The ability to see in the dark, but only when the sun is visible.