I cheated on my gf a couple of years ago, around the first time we were moving in together. We were, and still are, pretty serious, but I just didn't know how to tell this other chick to get lost. My gf found me in some pretty suspicious situations with this other chick, but I played it off and she bought it. Since then, years, have passed, I've gotten a new job, where I work out-of-town pretty often. Whenever I'm gone working, I can barely sleep at night knowing that I could ruin my life and ruin my relationship if I were to come clean with her about it. The guilt really does eat at me, but I don't know how I can break it to her without throwing everything away.
I've tried reconciling everything with myself, but I can't let go of the feeling that I should be honest with her before we take this any further (we often discuss getting married and buying a house in the not distant future). I want to tell her, but I just keep trying to plan out a way so that it is easiest on her. I'm not sure what to do.
tl;dr OP cheated on gf, now can't live with himself. Wants to tell gf the truth, but doesn't know how
Robert Bell
Also, for more info:
I really do not want to lose gf, however much I already knew that was exponentially increased after I cheated.
I fucked the other chick three times, and she gave me head another time as payment for a favor I did for her. After that, I realized I really can't do this shit and cut all ties with her.
Other chick is not a part of our lives whatsoever now, and likely never will be.
If I don't tell gf, it is likely she will never find out and if she does I can probably lie and convince her it's false.
Matthew Flores
Also OP here:
I'm essentially just trying to figure out a good setting to tell her. I've considered telling her at home, but we're likely going to buy the house instead of renewing our lease, so she'd always have the memory of me telling her associated with the house. I could tell her when she comes to visit me on the road, but I don't want her to associate me being on the road with me cheating, and that give her the idea to cheat on me in revenge while I'm gone (though I highly doubt she would do that). I've also considered driving way the fuck out to nowhere, some place neither of us know or will likely ever go back to, so that the association is lost in the middle of nowhere, but then again we'd then have to ride back together if it went badly, which would suck. Not sure what to do Sup Forums
Dominic Cox
Never tell her and bury the memory within yourself. Move on and live a great life with gf. Let it go fag.
Jose Wilson
Been in a long term relationship with my gf for six years and I've cheated like a dozen times. Its the only bad thing in life I've done but honestly i don't think its bad and neither should you. Dating is like a bachelor party the whole time dude. Marriage is when it cants on account of you make a promise to god. Dont worry about it, if you tell her she'll either leave you or confess to cheating on you as well. Or both.
Jonathan Hill
Yeah don't tell her she has prob cheated on you or will eventually. Don't give hertoo much respect and don't actively try to cheat on her anymore. Everyone cheats is shit but so are you and so is she
Jacob Bell
Op again:
I go back and forth on telling her at all or not, honestly.
Sometimes I think that if I truly love her, then I should be honest with her, and that the only way I can get peace is by being honest. Other times, I think that telling her won't make me regret in any less, and will only make her feel that pain too, and by not telling her I'm sparing her, and perhaps this regret I keep is my atonement for what I did, and will have to carry for the rest of my life.
Though, the second option sounds more simple, I think it's just me trying to find justification for not risking losing her.
Camden Young
You're a fuck faggot stfu. All three replies gave us the same advice. She's not worried about you cheatung cuz I'm sure after she suspected u she fucked someone too.
Bentley Wood
That's been my stance over the past few years, and I may keep it up if that's the case.
Yeah, but at the point we are in dating everyone, including ourselves, considers us married. I don't intend to ever do it again, and I seriously doubt she has or ever will (she's hella old fashioned). I'm getting the trend of don't tell her though.
Again, highly doubt she's cheated but I hear you. I guess this is just my cross to bear.
Thanks for the assist, guys.
Brayden Fisher
would you care if she cheated on you?
i mean , just let her get one back one you. better yet, watch?
you see how cuck this advice sounds bro? of course it will always eat at you if you don't tell her. that's what a lie does, even if the smallest. you can choose to live with a happy marriage happy life, never tell her but be wracked with an emotional and spiritual problem that, later down the line, will cause stress, trust issues, and insecurities. or you can tell her and risk losing one of the best relationships of your life
hell i've done it before, but i didn't tell her i just broke up with her because i didn't want to keep hurting her more down the line.
tl;dr get right with jesus boi, don't listen to the cucks in this thread
Camden Russell
All women cheat eventually
Oliver Barnes
Doubtful, but noted. Thread doesn't auto-update for me, so I didn't see the replies until after. Thanks for your insight.
Alexander Johnson
This
Daniel Scott
I doubt she'd want to get one back on me, that's not my concern. I just don't want to lose her. Leaving her is definitely not an option, either.
The only thing that bothers me about telling her is that if she accepts it and we move on, I don't think that guilt will go away, I'll just be compounding my pain onto her.
Luis Powell
Idk man I think dating is taken wayyyyy too seriously this day and age in America. It used to not be this way. In a sense, women's feminist bullshit has swayed it to its present condition. Men used to fuck whatever they wanted, when they wanted even when married and if the woman complained she was beat. Sounds like your girlfriend has got it pretty good, consider her lucky
Matthew Garcia
never tell her, if you dont cheat good for you, but if you cheat coming "clean" will only provide relief to your guilt... but you will fuck up her confidence and her hapiness, so coming clean will only hurt her, no good will come from it
Gabriel Garcia
nice appeal and islam apology bro
im all for beating the shit out of purple haired cunts in the streets wearing commie shirts breh, but to take it as far as to say that women are second class citizens and don't deserve loyalty, respect and honor? that's going back on hundreds of years of your "muh male dominance" fighting tooth and nail for the freedom these women enjoy
of course it's logical for you to want to keep that hierarchical woman-beating, hoe fucking mentality. because you are a man, and it acts in your self interest. but i implore you to give empathy a try.
keynote: you can be empathetic and still be a Man about it.
Jose Williams
appeal to nature is what i meant to say with the first sentence
Bentley Wood
The fucking cucks in this thread lol If you tell her you may as well jump on Grindr and let a bunch of guys fuck your ass raw, that's how much of a faggot you will be. All men cheat, it's instinct to want us much pussy as possible. Religion has just tried to make it a bad thing. Tldr don't be a faggot.
Isaiah Nelson
>don't know how I can break it to her without throwing everything away
you answered your own question. you can't tell her or you're fucked, even if she 'forgave' you you'd still be hearing about it for the rest of the time you were to be with her. don't worry, though, chances are she's cheated on you too, it's very common. if you really want to keep your gf, just man the fuck up and maintain opsec and don't ever say a single fuckin word about it ever... loose lips sink ships bruh.
William Phillips
Kill yourself, cheating scum
Eli Perry
DONT DO IT. You did it, live with it, don't alleviate your guilt with her pain. Loving someone requires being loving, not 100% honest. Why are those things constantly conflated.
Aiden Anderson
>if i truly love her
If you truly love her, you'll try and keep her happy at all costs. If not telling her about something that isn't going to affect her in any way, anyways, will keep her happy then maybe you should do just that.
Adrian Hughes
Absolutely no point in telling her unless you only care about yourself. Keep feeling like the pos you are, and deal with it. Telling her just takes that off your shoulders and puts it on her to decide what to do next. Don't be a pussy, live with your mistakes and grow from them.
Christian Evans
if you dont carry this weight by yourself, youre going to bd screwed up. She wont will carry this weight. do some meditation and stop loving in the pass, love her even more when this kind of memory comes, forget about it bro.
Jacob Sanchez
If you decide to tell her you are deciding that you would rather ruin her life than live with guilt.
Her knowing won't make anything better, it will only torture her because you were to selfish to suck it up and move on.
Bentley Foster
Exactly OP, if you're feeling this guilty you fucked up do you think if you shot a guy you'd feel less guilty if you told the police? No you'd just be in jail feeling like a shithead, don't tell her and live with your guilt.
Xavier Baker
OP returned, sorry, on night shift.
Thank you everyone for the advice. I'm not going to tell her. It's just something I'll have to live with, so that she never has to.
Also jfc chill with all this cuck bullshit you fucking teenagers, otherwise thanks for the input everyone else