Hello Sup Forums. How would I go about improving my lyrics?
>Did you hear its lies? >Cut loose, erased all your ties? >No use when you always believed >Never saw, could not perceive
>Thought it was one big joke >Funny things, each time it spoke >And sure it was, till it came crashing >Then it finished, with no more laughing
>But did it prick in the back of your head? >Suspicious words you heard, it said >Always hoping it were untrue >With narrow mind and distorted view
>Tried so hard to make it show >But too obscure for you to know >Should've read between the lines >Oblivious to warning signs
>Of something full of endless dreams >Of rip and pull and broken seams >Of fractured psyche, that only decayed >Of nothing but, with pointless charade
>Forever fake with endless duration >That felt regret on every occasion >That never learned, or got a grip >That lived on ice and finally slipped
>With wounds too deep, that never were healed >Signed a name, folded and then sealed >And sent away a letter unread >Of forlorn hope and all of its dread
>Apologized, for all the pretend >Sincerely yours, the very end >A solitary, master of fate >You tried your best, but too little too late
There's many, many ways to approach writing lyrics. They can be very direct or very vague, or not really make sense at all. In some cases they can even be pretty shitty, but if the composition and/or musicianship is good enough, that might matter all that much. Sometimes this can even be beneficial if the style of music is appropriate.
Your lyrics might be a bit direct in their message, so if that's not your thing, you could try approaching it more metaphorically and with more similes -- maybe even the Bob Dylan route where he uses characters to tell a story instead of using himself.
All in all, though, the music is a big player in how well the lyrics work, and these absolutely could work with the right music to go along with it. What genre/style were you thinking of using?
Parker Miller
I'm not really sure, I was going to incorporate it into a shitty punk rock song. But I feel like it's probably too complex and not really catchy.
Liam Ramirez
we're a comedy band
Landon Fisher
You'll give me credit, right?
Blake Gonzalez
It's possible. The length and complexity of the song itself can be a factor into how well it matches the lyrics, but also how the lyrics are delivered -- very quickly and maybe even slurred, or slower and more melodic. If you have catchiness in mind, though, maybe trimming them down a bit would be a good idea, and maybe even incorporating a chorus part.
Bear in mind that, for many lyricists, writing the lyrics is actually the last step in making a song. Not everybody has to do this, but knowing the feel of the song can be a big help on how you shape the lyrical content and structure. Try putting them together with the rest of the song and see if they fit, and/or if the stanzas need to be longer or shorter.
Overall, I'd say that you should be thinking about how the song will shape the lyrics, rather than how the lyrics will shape the song.
Lucas White
Why would we? This is an anonymous image board. Those lyrics were written by Anonymous. I am Anonymous. Therefore, I wrote them.
Ian Anderson
They're very simple. The rhyming structure is >A >A >B >B It's quite predictable when you're listening to it or reading it. Also you tend to stick to 1-2 syllable words. My favourite lyrics come from songs like this: vimeo.com/11222889 And I always find it inspiring with his use of metaphors and imagery in his language.
Lucas Adams
These could use work. The main problem here is the structure. You just posted 8 stanzas of AABB, all with the same meter. I think you're approaching lyrics like a poem, and you shouldn't. You should delineate what's 'verse' and what's 'chorus' and then try to make them distinct from each other.
Angel Torres
Thanks for the advice guys.
To be honest I did just start writing it as a poem and figured I could try and morph it into lyrics.
Kayden Roberts
>AABB wew
also the subject matter is super fucking generic. it's almost at a level that I can't even say that it's about anything at all. you can be abstract without being vague and generic
a couple smaller things: Many cases where adjacent lines in the same stanza have very different syllable counts, but not in any consistent pattern. doing that just means you have to artificially lengthen and shorten certain words to fit the meter, which in English almost always sounds super forced and artificial.
I liked how the entire fifth stanza was a repeated continuation of the last line of the fourth.
Ryder Ortiz
Hurt my feelings a little but I do appreciate your honest criticism
Sebastian Murphy
Here are some lyrics from an album I'm recording, lemme know what y'all think. I mean I can't really change anything about them since I already have the base of the song recorded, but it's still nice to get some thoughts.
Before the notes are written to be washed on down the drain I think of how I'll fit in with all of the forbidden words to say
and though I've never painted I know the colors of the trade making use of all that's there to choose all the brightly shining hues and shades of grey
And If I had wings, they'd hang up high in the closet With all the rags that I forget and even though the table's set, the food all tastes the same
[bridge]
The paper says... the foggy air is gone but it won't be long before the sky is filled with smog brought on by a wind that carried it from a town without a song it's never made a sound though some will say that they have heard its whispers but they never last for long there has to be a way to end all of their suffering but the road that leads there's farther than the eye can see if only we had wings.
I'm generally not as direct as this, and the first couple verses kind of make me cringe with how blatant they are, but I couldn't think of anything better. If I ever start playing live I'll probably never perform this one.
Christopher Jenkins
These would be fine if they're under some kind of a heavier abrasive kind of song.
Luke Davis
r8
bitch I'm feelin like I gotta nut bitch imma put it in your butt bitch I got booty on the brain bitch, that booty driving me insane bitch im gonna fuck you in my car bitch you will not get very far bitch, can you drive stick shift? cuz if not u gonna get this dick bitch
Julian Sullivan
what is everyones process?
The common method I see posted around here is >write down all your feelings and thoughts regarding the topic you want the song to hit on >retroactively cram these into the song
but I don't know how to pick and choose which ones to go with without making it sound random as fuck.
Colton Lewis
8.2 bnm
Samuel Davis
every time i write it makes me wanna kill myself how do i get over this?
Xavier Cooper
I generally don't start with lyrics until I have at least some part of the music down, usually the song's chord progression. Then I'll just sing gibberish over that in order to find a melody I like, and then at that point I'll start writing lyrics just as they come to me. Once I have the base of the song mapped out (in terms of the vocal melody and chord progression) I'll edit the lyrics from there, occasionally over the course of several months. After some time, if I haven't scrapped the song all together, they'll have formed some kind of a sort of coherent idea, and that'll be the song.
Asher Moore
Stop writing about wanting to kill yourself.
Austin Mitchell
For a place to rest my head I'll take what little I can get As I will for the rest of my life Or what little of that is left
But do you know what it means to be terrified I haven't got a clue what I'm gonna do with my life I am naked and afraid, wasted and broke
I don't want you to judge me I already hurt myself I don't want you to touch me Scared that I'll be bad for your health
Lucas Howard
I'd really like feedback on this small lyrics I wrote
>and then at that point I'll start writing lyrics just as they come to me fuck, I can't do this whilst making shit coherant and good
Matthew Stewart
>come up with a word or phrase that sounds good when I sing it and sticks in my head, sometimes using other songs for inspiration >Start with a line or two, then I try to figure out where I'm going with the song >write the rest around that >change around the vocal melody so it sounds more like me >come up with a chorus or multiple hooks that glue everything, this is really fucking hard sometimes >bring in all the instrumentation and change some things so the stuff I wrote fits better with the music
This is when I start with the lyrics since I like writing down stuff, when I start with the music I do pretty much this
Jack Gomez
Seriously unremarkable
As for op. This is not gold you've written but see it as a craft and keep writing songs and maybe it'll go somewhere. You've got potential and you seem to try things.
Zachary Wood
It doesn't need to be coherent or good at first. Just get some placeholder words there that you can further develop. My stuff generally always starts out pretty free association-ey but I think having a general idea of what you want to write about at that stage would work fine too.
Brayden Robinson
I get thrown out of bed to the statement that i stink. A reliable sentament. A testament to the way I think.
I don't wanna leave the house. I don't wanna make new friends. I don't have ambition, just a means to an end.
I don't want you to critisize me, I already hate myself. There is nothing more that I can lose, other than my health.
I don't wanna make money and I'm failing my degree. I don't wanna fix myself but I question why I'm unhappy
Can't you see I'm terrorfied. I havn't got a clue what I'm doing with my life. I want to be something good, I want to do something right, but how can I live when I can barely survive?
Everything's a blur since you left me.
Dominic Russell
I don't really have a process, sometimes I come up with a neat idea for a track, like a genre style or something and some time later I reuse it with some lyrics that would go along well.
The verses are usually stuff that I feel like I want to say but I change it to use metaphors, if the thing I want to say it's very personal I just detach myself from it making much more ridiculous, like if I want to write a metaphor about weird sex I could write "eating shit", but then I change that with "drinking coffee" to make it more impersonal, or I just switch POV or use imagery.
Owen Flores
>terrorfied no wonder you're failing your degree.
Adrian Taylor
>sentament >critisize >terrorfied.
Nicholas Lee
why do these lyric threads always attract pseduo-depressed faggots? write some happy lyrics for a change.
Connor Brooks
these are all really bad.
Kevin Wood
Some throwaway shit I wrote
Beautiful lady Daughter of the sun Her body's moving But the feeling's gone
She once was a princess In a land of dreams Where gold was leaking Through its torned seams
Her arms are waving Her hips are shaking Her hair fills the room, but Inside she's breaking
I'm struggling to breathe As I reach for her hand But she's lost in a whirlwind She doesn't command
The pride in her heart Is a storm like force She's moving her body Like a lion roars
Her arms are waving Her hips are shaking Her hair fills the room, but Inside she's breaking
Caleb Morgan
Haven't you heard this one before? Some person being sad over three fucking chords I can't believe this is like I didn't try Repeating synonyms of sadness that have been used too many times
I'm a cliche I'm a boring cliche I'm a cliche I'm a stupid cliche
I'm a cliche I'm not special
Recycle the subjects until everything sounds the same Every heartbreak is shitty Everyone's hometown is lame Act like my emotions are worth writing songs about It won't make you any better Putting words over sounds
I'm a cliche I'm a boring cliche I'm a cliche I'm a stupid cliche
I'm a cliche I'm not special
Michael James
>4/4 Adagio. >Bassy timpani rhythmically plays over staccato string melodies.
Call me Macauly Culkin Cus I just wanna party (party) Get up in y'all's pussy's (pussys) That cocaine make me dizzy (dizzy)
Call me Arthur Skargill cus I am underground bitch When I eat the pussy I'm breathing through my gills (gills)
She blow me like a trumpet bitch i'm sonny rollins nigga that bitch know how to pump it bitch i'm a black eyed pee nigga
Logan Sullivan
Trying to explain the way you are without her Trying to attain the fame you fill with laughter Tell me what you want and I just might go after Every other girl who frames her life in plaster
Why are you the way you are? You say you find the air just fine And keep all of your feelings in mind But you leave me ending up too far Behind that door is nothing more Than a feeling you thought passed in time And left you feeling just as blind As everyone who speaks their mind But can't find the time to listen in line And fails every time by design But keeps each scar in a memoir Why are you the way you are?
Caleb Evans
reading about the different processes people go through has me really down, I can't do this shit
Brayden Garcia
it's simple You find the topic of the song I dont' care how, throw a dart at a dart board for all it matters then you basically jot down all your thoughts and feelings regarding that topic then you get a list of synonyms and such for words used also then you pick and choose which to put into the melody
Hunter Smith
DO YOU BELIEVE IN SOCIETYS LIES
John Miller
The lyrics are good, but it sounds like it needs slow, sad music. It could also be good rap lyrics too
Lucas Perry
You're a horrible person if you think that
Camden Gray
>posting lyrics on Sup Forums >not expecting them to get stolen
Joseph Nguyen
why would you care if someone "stole" your lyrics? don't post them on here then.
Sebastian Wilson
>anyone here thinking their lyrics are theft worthy kek
Benjamin Campbell
Pretty new to lyric writing. Just kinda had a burst of inspiration. So here it goes:
>Just for a day, Friday night to Sunday morning >Sunlight creeps into your bedroom. It falls on my face. >And you, you are still sleeping. A warm friendly face. >I have nothing to give. For it is already given. >And I must stay true. But for a day, I belong to you.
Was inspired by Slowdive if that was not apparent.
Josiah Bennett
you would say the same about anything that was actually "theft worthy" before it became so
Leo Brown
We're growing apart, you blame my laziness I blame cupid LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE IS FUCKING STUPID AND I HATE YOU
Connor Wilson
>if /r9k/ wrote lyrics
Dylan Anderson
I find those pretty funny,you could really expand upon them to make something longer and rework them a bit to have a more melodic song. Then again, perhaps a short song fits better the tone of your lyrics. Anyway, cool idea man.
Dylan Sanchez
Funny, good job
Robert King
8.2 bnm
Charles Brooks
Indoctrinated into a tribe of the musically unkind, where the pretense of a scene can overrule a fragile mind until a boxticking system closes doors to outside. I mean you’ll look pretty cool but a part of you will die, and when I say you look cool I mean only to your friends the general opinion is you act like a bellend. Your arrogance is based on a personal preference and that preference is based on your scenes consensus.
Masses with the live for the weekend mentality, caught up with the illusion of indiduality. Care not for your clubnights the fake alternative, you’re just another group of youths going out and getting pissed. I am the guy stood against the wall at the club watching dollies and peacocks dance and get drunk, and when the chorus kicks in they all sing along and I watch their mouths fade away while they all get the verses wrong.
I’m not saying I’m any better I fall for the same traps as well. But at least I can admit it, at least I can admit that I’m boring as hell.
Lincoln Clark
are mine ok? they're just small segments. these are my favourites. - the little mute god sees the grief, hears clearly the thrashing and the silences. crouching, he smiles and cracks an atom in his palm - a string of tones i arranged like black and lustreless beads on a rosary in my sleep i see you hunched over away from me scrubbing the muscles and flesh away from your wrists - through the small grimed window a fire sweeps and heaves beneath and through the scrub. i think i see my family standing motionless facing away from me the fire hasnt left them untouched it whips through their turned forms spinning around their legs it sounds like a scream against their skin
Christian Moore
My ineptitude with lyrics is making so frustrated recently I can't even begin to describe how it makes me feel. I hope I can get over this lump soon, or work out some sort of technique for this cus otherwise I'm not sure what I'm going to do.
Andrew Reyes
my technique is to half listen to music and then if you hear something that is poignant or of value, it's usually misheard and not wat the actual lyrics are. then you steal that little chunk that your brain has cowritten and elaborate.
Connor Nguyen
This is pretty good, desu.
Hudson Martinez
my personal process in improving lyrics is literally rewriting.
find new ways to phrase your words to paint the picture you're trying to paint. Sometimes it takes more words, but most of the time it's less.
Assigning the syllables to numeric patterns works great to. A good example of this would be You are Not Alone by Micheal Jackson, which has 6 for each line in the verses: An-oth-er day is gone (6) I'm still all a-alo-(voiced n "nuh") (6)
so on and so on. and diff ones for diff sections.
Hopes this helps!
Andrew Lewis
it doesn't ;_;
Robert Roberts
If you can't write better lyrics than this, you may have much bigger problems than not knowing how to write a song.
Carson Parker
Good guy OP
Grayson Reed
Best so far
Luis Morgan
I read all lyrics posted to Sup Forums in a whiny pop-punk voice
Luke Parker
Only lyrics so far that don't make me wanna barf good job OP
John Sullivan
Would work better if the entire song weren't about being a cliche. Try to explain the kind of things you really want to say and THEN take away from it by calling it a cliche
William Smith
Sickeningly unoriginal better luck next time
Justin Brooks
Crywank, is that you? These are pretty solid, but remember that lyrics aren't 100 of what matters for vocalists. The right emotional expression is important too
Luke Powell
This is from last night
I see life the same as everybody else As for my ears theyre much finer tuned The signal interrupts my broadcast Delivers light in the guise of darkness Like swollen skies give birth to harvest Negative energy is just too hard to harness Loosely associated words arent entirely honest Read a story to me please When i cant drink myself to sleep The lovely heart chips its concrete Finish the story and hit delete