Why do I self destruct?

Why do I self destruct?

>starting at age 15 I start drinking and fucking and doing all sorts of drugs
>absolutely fuck my body up in every possible way
>make my thumbpad like leather by holding a lighter to it for hours
>nearly OD on heroin at age 19
>meet my wife at 22
>clean up my fucking act, don't do drugs, don't drink or go out whoring
>moderatelyhappy.jpg
>wife has to go out of town for 3 days to see sister in hospital
>tells me to stay home cause I punched out my brother in law on thanksgiving last year
>soon as she leaves I'm drinking and drugging and hired a hooker
>I don't even know why I hired the hooker, it's just like Jesus took the wheel and drove us into Sodom.
>start partying hard

Why the fuck do I do it? I love my life, love my wife, love not being an asshole. But as soon as I'm alone I'm back at it

>you're mom or dad was missing from your life.
>family history with drugs or mental illness

Pick one faggot
You're welcome

cuz you fucking miss it, what the fuck is there not to comprehend?

Was an orphan, parents died in a helicopter accident

So thanks. I guess that's it?

You dont wanna grow up yet. Thats it buddy

Well. I didn't feel like I missed it is the problem. I thought I was happy

Being 16 and on meth was pretty tight

Yes it was i was wasted till 23.. But work and money is now priority. Someday it gets boring

Kill yourself

I hope so. I guess I like doing this shit still, but at the same time I don't.

Or is that morality just fucking with me?

I drank a half a bottle of rum and got some meth. I'm on my way, user

You're fucked in the head, try to find drugs that can make you less fucked in the head. Kratom, phenibut keeps me on the good path.

What I'd Kratom? Usually I do some hard shit, or some trip bait.

Shit, I don't deserve these dubs

I guess so.
Did they not teach you manners in the orphanage though. When someone says "you're welcome" you reply back "thank you".

I was raised by my grandfather and he said you only gotta thank Jesus, cause he's the only one you gotta impress.

He also spent most of his days drinking and trying to fuck the maid

Sanity regulation and selfpreservation maybe.
Sometimes they are urges we just need to fullfill to not being pressed down by reality. I for myself cut myself or hitmyself every 1-2 years,i dont think about it I just do it because not fulfilling these urges may result in unfoseen extreme consequencies I may not control as much as some small cuts. Maybe your wife constricts you in one way or another, so you fall back in past times routine to free yourself and your consiousness to avoid greater conflicts that might have come up if you have not have been subjected to your urges. You are basicly saving yourself from greater problems.

Why does he make you thank the Mexican gardener? Are you by chance half Mexican?papa might still be around son.

Kek

Wow. Concise.

Thanks jesus

No, senor. I am pure Americano. I es no like the tacos

Then you thought wrong dumb dumb, be happy. Life is short take it by the pussy and fuck that hooker to death, roll her up in that carpet you hate(the one in the dining room) and ditch her in an ally.
If you feel bad after that then just go back to being a normal fag like the rest of the world

Hookers long gone friend. I nutter up her ass then made her suck me til I came again.

It cost me 1500, so I gotta come up with excuses before my wife comes home

say you lost it gambling at least that's half true,
cause you gambled on the hooker being clean.
>she costs a lot of money so she's clean
said no one ever.

Hell, I just wanted one of those fancy downtown hookers who come to you. If I got the aids, atleast I die partying hard

where did you pull 1500 out of your ass from. your girlfriend also a high class hooker with a diversified portfolio ,401k and more than 25k in savings ?

You stop 100% thats what you do.theres no magic bullets try to find pleasure in other things