Ask a queens guard anything. Doing fuck all today and I'm bored of tugging myself into dehydration

Ask a queens guard anything. Doing fuck all today and I'm bored of tugging myself into dehydration

How many idiot tourists annoy you daily?

Proof + timestamp

When on guard it's usually the same kind of people that are most annoying.
1. Chinese/Asian in general
2. The fucking French
3. Italians
4. Spanish speaking
5. A few Indians are too

Worst are Deffo the Asians though they're all inconsiderate cunts. Best tourists are usually the Americans tbh, they're always polite

Do you get any perks?

When you fuckup, fall down, faint, get out of line, or just generally fuck up are there consequences?

Does it feel good to be in what is considered and honorable role?

Any path to becoming knighted?

Parties with royalty, free tube travel.

It depends really but yeah you'll just get fucked about and put on more guards

It's good from an outsiders perspective, but it ain't an easy job. A lot of time is spent on kit to early hours of the morning

You gotta be in a long time and do alot to get that kinda thing

You ever get to kill any cunts?

Do you even lift?

Ever sucked a log of shit?

Why the queen's guard and not any other unit?

Thanks, OP
Always found you guys pretty interesting.
Any female guards? Never seen any when I visited.

I think he's lying. He would just refer to himself as a Guardsman.

Please answer this op

Yeah we are infantry so we get deployed on overseas operations.
Nah
Well the Quens guard isn't a until, it's a general term that groups 5 regiments of foot guards together (grenadier, coldstream, scots, Irish and welsh)

Not everyone knows that to be our title, people know what I mean if I just sa queens guard

Is your name Alex?

Nah, what reg is Alex?

How do you keep so fucking still for long periods of time?

He got blown up on special duties and has be laying about while the scab lifters pick bits of metal out of him.

Just stand there and completely mong out thinking of any random shit. And at any opportunity, have a go at tourists, it always helps pass the time

I've seen a queens guard blowing some random guy the fuck out for touching him. What exactly are you allowed to do to a tourist who touches you?

If you laugh on the job because of a tourist do you get punished?

Dunno what you mean by special duties, do you mean on tour? Not heard about this guy, probably in a different reg to me

how is your new boss?
she is canadian, right?

Do you still dream of being a real soldier? Or have you accepted your life as a security guard in fancy dress

fucking french here.
What's your favorite furniture ?

that's you OP?

Best be careful OP I hear you guys get in trouble for passing out on parade from dehydration.

If you've spaffed out 80% of the water in your body you'll get a spanking off Liz.

Can't just pure spark em for touching you, but you have the inherit right to self defense so if you honestry believe they hold an iminent threat to life then you can use the force necessary to stop that. I shove tourists all the time if they touch me or piss me off around me, it's just fucking rude

Are the hats heavy

If you get caught you'll probably get extra duties
As I've said we are infantry, not just guards. Dual role lad
Nah I believe that's one of 2 twins that fainted last year on the troop, both were escorts to the colour aswell

Is it intentional that the uniform be so incredibly cumbersome and uncomfortable?

As like, a display of endurance and spirit or something?

Or is it just tradition for tradition's sake?

No but they squeeze your head like fuck because the band inside shrinks when it's hot, like it recently has been

I don't even know to be honest, it's not even tradition as the old tunics are thinner and obviously lighter. Think it's just so show to status of the royal family so we wear a uniform that costs over £2k brand new and fitted

Which regiment are you from? I've got a friend with the scots

Report immediately in my office!

What do you think about while you're just standing all day

Why would a guardsman be reporting to a canadian lesbian

because she is the new queen's guard commander?!

Haha aye no bother. Good that the Canadians are here at the moment though, they're all pretty sound around camp and most have fags and will give you some, which I good for me as I have £6 to my name until I get paid Thursday night.

Are your rifles loaded? (You and all other guards) or are some just for show?

Does the queen get to shoot any squirrels in London ?

Scots, who's your friend, just last name?Shagging my bird

Why are you guys still stuck with that piece of shit SA80?

I remember my uncle had to use that fucking thing in the falklands, the mag release rubs on everything and the safety is the wrong way round. God forbid you're a fucking lefty.

I'd rather run in to battle with a spork

We still used the L1A1 in the Falklands. Or was he just on exercise?

It's not as bad as people make it out; aslong as it is maintained correctly and you actually know how to use it properly

Exercises, not during the war.

Fair, I spent half a day with one on a firing range and grew to hate the thing, might just be because I'm a lefty and as far as I'm aware there isn't a lefty variant.

The 85A2 is pretty nice though.

Thanks for your service by the way

Campbell

how many times has prince Phillip given you the ol Jolly Roger?

Does Prince Edward have any involvement with the scots on a regular basis? Is he not retired, how can he be colonel of the regiment if he is actually a Field Marshal?

Aye I know him, hates Celtic, loves rangers

Why yes, he does have shit taste
Small world

What would actually happen in the event of an attack on Buckingham Palace? How would the guard respond? How long would it take for reinforcements to arrive? Would they even need to be requested? I know there are quite a few barracks stationed very close.

>whats the best way to attack

Quiet muhammad, he will be on to us

Is there anyone in the queens guard who isn't strictly a royalist but simply serves out of like, patriotism and general love for their country?
Like, does everyone in the queens guard believe in the monarchy?