How would they remake Harry Potter

How would they remake Harry Potter

With niggers and faggots

3d animated with big heads and spaghetti limbs.

with black the "shieeeeeeeettt nigga" herminone

A remake told through Luna's perspective

Has potential for tons of zany side adventures

Well they already have a "white devil" as the enemy so that's a start.

Ron will be played by an Indian bisexual. Hermione will be black. Not sure what race Harry will play as though.

A shame that a white pure beauty like her would not be allowed

with a an actual good overarching plot instead of le hitler snake man

Le epic I didn't understand the ministry was orwellian even before voldemort takes over

And they won't
2000 filming PS
2001 press PS filming Cos
2002 press Cos
2003 filming Poa
2004 press Poa filming Gof
2005 press Gof
2006 filming OOtp
2007 press OOtp
2008 filming HBP
2009 press HBP filming DH1
2010 press DH1 filming DH2
2011 press DH2

Why would they when it's one of the dullest franchises blah blah blah you get it

I'd like an alt version where the sorting hat puts Harry in Slithering. Bonus: Things turn out better for everyone in the end.

>Anglos
>white

Follow the first four books exactly and then go on their own. No Dolores Umbridge.

Umbridge was great though.

Make everyone gay and black.
Voldemort will stay the evil white man.

I hated her in the book and in the movies. Actually I hated the whole 'I don't believe that Voldemort is back plot', which was a total waste of a book.

with diversity and jewish propaganda

You realize you're supposed to hate her character right? People being too complacent and scared to consider he might be back makes sense. It IS a waste of time.

Probably as an HBO or Netflix series and probaly make Harry fucking asian and hermione black cuz "diversity". Only plus side would be that it allows more information from the book than they could fit in the movie.

Fuck off reddit. Tv is shit

>being a literalfag
>watching for the plot
>thinking game of shits is good

>Green spell bursts through Voldemort

*SCRATCH*

FREEZE FRAME

>You're probably wondering how I got here, well it all started with me cucking Snape

Probably with cameras

How did Voldemort cuck snape? Wouldn't that be James?

>Not sure what race Harry will play as though.
Arabic, and he will of course be a devout muslim in contrast to the Dursley's white christianity.

Everything same except Hermonie is a tranny this time.

voldemort was pretty cool in some of the movies. too bad he was really made into a one dimensional villain

James is Voldemort

By not making one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises that pander to low iq plebs that think 7 and emma watson are good. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."


I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>atlas shrugged, les miserables, the stranger and gatsby are god tier
lol
>tao lin above middle, film faggotry in high
let me guess, you're a film faggot
>fucking kafka in fucking middle tier
on par with another film faggotry. kafka. on par with film faggotry
>shakespeare on fucking low tier, huxley on low tier despite beeing right all along
who is this shakespeare and why is he shaking a spear in my face?
>tolkien is shit, alice in wonderland is shit
do you even understand what alice is about film faggot? go put your arts diploma to good use by reading on Wikipedia about lewis carol
goddamn film faggots and their shit taste

>getting this mad over books a woman wrote for her son

LOL

adapt Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality 2027.

He was only good in 1 and 2. Then he became a fish-faced retard with zero menace