>Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.
Very well, where do I begin...
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whom are you quoting
dr evil, you twat
That is some pretty strange writing. Is Mike Myers insane?
This is the real monologue right? It's actually pretty funny
>In the spring we'd make meat helmets.
LUUUUGE LESSONS
2 > 1 > 3
yep
youtube.com
it's at 2:10
3>1>2
WHY WONT YOU DIE?
you now realize that that's princess leia
This is incredible writing
Are these movies actually good?
>3>1>2
'no'
they are amazing
>rewatched these lately
>Realised Will Ferral is in the first two
Great casting
1 and 2 are masterpieces, 3 has its moments, such as this one: youtu.be
>hurr durr austin powers 3 is bad
Its the weakest in the series, sure. But its certainly a great movie on its own merits.
Why did Mike Myers screw Dana Carvey over, Sup Forumsros? Is it karmic that The Love Guru was "Mike Myers' "The Master of Disguise"?"
You can tell he got his Mugatu from Dr Evil. The looks Dr Evil gives his son when he says he's trying to kill him is exactly the same as Mugatu.
Dana had bouched surgery and couldn't work for years.
This reads like Kevinposting
Someone's watching the Sony movie channel
3's intro is gold
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I miss shark tank threads.
Those streams were comfy too.
He's true about the shorn scrotum, feels so good
Until the hairs start growing back, then your sack starts feeling like a cactus
I like 3 because while the first 2 are a parody of james bond the third one is a parody of austin powers.
It's a shame The Love Guru completely scared him away from the spotlight. Such a talented comedic actor and writer.
Mines always grow back soft I feel bad for you son
I didn't realize fucking Rob Lowe was in these movies too
Is Mike Meyers really gone from Hollywood for good? I know Love Guru was bad, but was he that embarrassed?
I was told lotion helps, but not for me.
>tfw
>actually, the boy is quite astute, I am trying to kill him
What's this about botched surgery?
>Tom Cruise
Cool
>Gwyneth Paltrow
Awesome
>Kevin Spacey
Holy guacamole
>Danny Devito
Jesus CHRIST
>Steven Spielberg
TOO GOOD
Needs me to log in, just sum it up.
What was so bad about The Love Guru?
>holds up spork
Went in for a heart bypass or some shit and they bypassed a healthy artery instead of the damaged one.
kill you are self
But i hate Gwyneth and Spielberg :^(
wtf i hate surgery now
He probably makes a ton of money from the Shrek franchise He doesn't need to do live action movies anymore.
Nothing (If you're Canadian)
AP4 when?
>i hate Gwyneth
why?
Watch it again, and every time Beyoncé appears, remind yourself that her contract stipulated that she would get a certain amount of time in the final cut.
It's why there are a whole bunch of scenes she's in where her presence makes no sense.
Plus she's a fucking shit actor.
They better hurry up and make the 4th one before Vern Troyer dies.
How long do people like him live? He seems hale last I checked.
Not sure. He's 47 though. Yeah he looks healthy but he seems like he needs a scooter to get around now.
>American """"healthcare""""
Could just be because his legs are so short compared to others, but still noted. I didn't think... little people like him lived so long though. So good for him.
this is my favorite scene from Austin powers
They're fucking hilarious.
It's funnier that Carrie Fisher is the one conducting the therapy session
frickin' laser beams
>Carrie Fischer looks absolutely fine in 1997
>looks like a burlap sack in 2016
The timeline of when Carrie Fischer lost her looks confuses the shit out of me. I thought by the late nineties she was done with drugs.
...
>person ages by almost 20 years
>whoa what happened? why they look different???
I think she looks better now, truth be told.
For some strange reason early middle age looks the worst to me in terms of people's looks.
epic nostrils
>"They are beginning to smell a little like almonds!"
Loved the scenes in 3 where they were breaking the 4th wall.
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The first movie actually holds up surprisingly well, the writing was really intelligent for a movie that has a dumb premise, which is part of the point obviously. Excellent satire. Generally comedies have moved beyond some of the body humor used in the movie but otherwise the comedy doesn't feel dated.
Who does Number 2 work for?!
She's mental.
>he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark
Every fucking time.
What was better:
SHH
or
Scottydon't
I think they went a little too gross with 2.
Mike Myers once explained in an interview (I think it was on Letterman), meat helmets are helmets made of meat.
>Plus she's a fucking shit actor.
This is the worst thing. She's awful.
You should read the Sprockets script. Best movie never made.
The writing combined with the casual, matter of fact delivery is so, so good.
This. I loved it as a kid for superficial and juvenile reasons but upon seeing it once again as an adult, there's a lot of great """adult""" material in there. I was really impressed with how funny it actually is when you understand it.
Shut up
Good post have a (You)
because you're into grandmas. ew.