Hey b, now depress faggot here

Hey b, now depress faggot here
First time ever making a post
Just wanted to share the joke I call my life
>be me, under age faggot
>more of a virgin than mother Teresa herself
>make tinder account for shits and giggles
>hahaveryfunny.jpeg
>fucks with everyone that matches with
>matches with cute girl
>start talking
>she's 21
>pretend I'm legal fag
>love talking to her
>she has the funniest personality
>gets her snap
Continue?

no

no

Hury up before you get b& I'm listening you fag

no

Alright I'll continue
>keeps talking to her via snap
>get to know her
>gets to know she's depress faggot
>but I'm not, so perfect match
>try to tell her that it's okay I don't care like a faggot
>whendoesitgetinteresting.jpg
>still pretending a lie
>one night she wants the pener
>fuck yeah I say
>tells me to drive there to pick her up
>goddammit
>me being a fag, has no car and no license
>tells her my bro got it towed
>she buys it
>then she tell me "oh well, guess not tonight..."
>fuuuuuuu
>fml
I'll probably post her noods if I feel like it afterwards

Stopped reading at under age faggot. I don't give a fuck about you and I don't give a fuck about your laughable teenage problems.

Sorry if it takes long, I'm on my phone, plus this is the first time in doing this gay shit
>couple of days of getting to know each other
>then she mentions about one faggot
>" oh I just need to let you know about this one guy just incase we turn into something..."
>turns out she is fucking a trans
>let's call it tran
>tran is not in with relationship but still fucks
>not trying to be jellyfish tries to play it off as whatever
>"oh okay.....whatever lmao" I say
>she gets horny again
>"let me see it OP...."
>me being horny faggot I say " mmkay..."
>shows my decent length snake
>sees it
>she send nood back
>tells me to pick her up again
>"fuck don't have my "car"" I say
>gets close to fucking again
>"my cars blocked in.......oh well" she says
>ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!
>whateves, like talking to her anyways

Remember retards this is all happening on Snapchat

Aight

moar pls

go ahead fag

more

What the fuck, OP, why didn't you just find an alternate means of transportation? Why did you even lie, that's pretty gay.

Continue, though.

>another day, another nickel
>HAHAHAHA.jpg
>she talks about tran
>tran is complete dick head
>doesn't give two shits and a penny about her
>she tells me she gets attach easily
>this could be good and bad for me
>she tells me stories about tran being dick
>I actually get mad
>I invested enough time with her to actually care
>tell her " mahn you don't need him"
>she tells me she's crying and upset over him because it doesn't know if it want to be with relationship with her
>I'm on the down low jellyfish because I want her to care about me
And not him in that way
>trade noods again afterwards
>she tells me " is it bad I want you to fuck the sadness away?"
>instanthardon.jpg
>me being a virgin faggot tell her " no of course not lmao"
>offers to come to her place
>but she's too scared to meet stranger aka me...
>tell her we've been talking for a while it's time to meet
>" You don't even know me" she says
>gets into semi-argument telling her I know enough to meet you
> doesn't come over
>tells her "goodnight" even though I'm a little mad fag

It gets more interesting, just wait you nigglet

Pics faggit

Honestly I did offer to ride my bike there but she wouldn't have it for some reason

Eh I mean she's not perfect and a bit chubby

She wants to fuck in the car because she probs lives with parents. She doesnt want you at her house.

>inb4 girl knew user was underage the whole time

I like the honesty

cont?

op is a fag, he's making this up as he goes along

Lurkers are obviously waiting faggot you couldve been typing this whole time

Does this story have a climax faggit

So you mean he

Next time come prepared with your made up stories faggot

>after a bit I don't expect to get any for a while
>brother offers me to go to his place for the night
>nogaystuff.jpg
>bro has new computer
>not the very best but pretty impressive
>goes to his place and sees it
>he just shows me how fast it runs while he plays some space game like a faggot
> "alright....." I say
>gets bored and play Xbox
>gets text
>it's from her
>" OP I'm horny"
>rolls my eyes and know what's gonna happen
>share noods like always
>"OP come over, I really horny"
>for real?
>" Are you being serious?" I say
>" yes faggot" she says
>fml
>realizes I'm at brothers house, gets pissed because I know brother fag won't drive me back a hour away just for fucks
>tells her " sorry I can't, I'm at bros house playing Xbox"
>she calls me a faggot
>"I know..."
>tell her that I knew something like this would happen
>couple of minutes of talking she ask me why I like her even though I havnt even met her
>tells her that it's alot of reasons
>explains my heart like a fucking faggot
>end like last night
>me explaining to her why I like and care for her
>tells her goodnight
>she tells me not to jerk off until we get to meet
>"fuck it alright...."
>goes to sleep pissed at myself for going to fag bros house

I'm into this. Moar

You're actually right but let me explain the story first

Of course im right. Ive been through situations like this 100 times and the reality is, you kind of dont really want to actually meet because then itll be over. Theres sexual tension when you havent met yet and no awkwardness. But meeting irl changes everything and usually ends after 1 night of sex.

You've already wasted this much of my time finish the goddamn storey nigger!!

>>she tells me " is it bad I want you to fuck the sadness away?"
>>instanthardon.jpg
>>me being a virgin faggot tell her " no of course not lmao"


Idiot.

hurry up faggot

You would rather have sexual tension than a fuck? Faaag

There was a time, yeah. I use to get heaps of sluts. So i could choose which ones i wanted to be emotional with

Okay fags,I'm not making this shit up , even though the fucking coincidences make it sound like it
>next day
>feels kinda bad because if I do fuck her she might become a child meloster
>"hey I need to tell you something..." I say
>"What's up OP?" She says
>"I'm not actually 18" I say
>"lmao faggot, i know you're not...."
>wut.jpg
>"do you honestly think you can get with a 21 year old ;)"
>" I don't know maybe..." I say like a retarded fag
>she then explains her age
>happyface.jpg
> she's literally two years older but lies about my age again so we're one year apart but I'm still younger
>I fucking know I'm a retard but it's easier to explain why I don't have a lincense or job
>we have a deeper connection
>finds out she lives about 3 kilometers or about 2 miles for those retards out there
>me be surprise because I live in but fuck no where
>also what's the chances she live near that close to me and finding me on tinder and being close to my age....
>I know what you're thinking this is not fucking made up or I wouldn't share
>tells her I love her
>she gets confused
>not this shit again......
>now I spent the rest of the night explain why I love her
>she explain she feels like I'm more like a little brother to her
>AREYOUFUCKINGKIDDINGME.jpg
>whatever, she's drunk......i think
>once again fml
>bro zoned

It doesn't end there faggot, there's more

don't ever post again without pre-typing the whole story, you newfag

>>tells her I love her
>>she gets confused
>>not this shit again......
>>now I spent the rest of the night explain why I love her

Hahahaha

Yea this is taking too fucking long.

First she's all dtf then you say you are younger and then all of a sudden she goes 'haha i know! Oh and btw you are more like a lil bro to me'

Sounds like shes trying to save face. Are you both under 18? Or did you say 17 and shes 19? She now has Dat kiddie porn

make it short, fuckwad.

After making us wait this long you better post some fucking tits you cunt.

amen

Imma try to finish this shit up but like there's alot of details faggot that explains the story

>next day
>dad's birthday party
>Mexican ass birthday
>boarder crossers everywhere
>where tf is Trump when you need him
>gets texts from her
>"I think I done goofed"
>she send me a pic of her arm, she cut it alot
>cuts across because attention of course
>starts to freak a bit " wtf did you do that for!?"
> she then explains it's because of tran
>fucking tran
>at this point I was pissed at it but also I wanted to comfort her
>tell her it's okay and I'm here for you
>like I said before I really care for her
>she doesn't text back for a while
>midnight
>"hey..." she says
>"what happen?"
>she then explains that tran said he wanted no relationship with her at all
>prolly because she's too emotional
>she explains that its only there for the good times not bad
>tell her I'll be there no matter what
>"because I love you..."
>we keep talking
>don't have to explain why I love her tonight
>she says shes horny
>I say let me come over
>....
>"I can't I'm about to go smoke weed with my friends"
>tries everything in my power to either convince her to let me come with or stay home so I can come over
>"but I need to smoke or I'll kms "
>of course you do
>"okay fine, as long as youre not cutting yourself" I say like sad fag

Trust me this is almost over, probably two more replies

I mean I would but honestly her tits are a 5/10, so idk if you fags gonna want it

Tits are tits.

Wait.. you're mexican?

In all honesty OP, for as much shit talking as im doing.. I appreciate you taking the time to post. Its entertaining and took my mind of my miserable fucking life for a little bit

same bruh

didnt read any of your shitty writing OP just thought you should know what kind of a stupid filthy faggot you are

If driving to hers was such a big issue because of no license.underagefag. what is your plan if she says 'yes come over' or 'yeah come with me to smoke with my friends.. you can be the little mexican i met of the internet.. my friends will think its totally cool'

OP you're such a fuck. just post the goddamn tits. and fucking get going on the goddamn story.

He could uber

Everyone stop talking shit about OP. Hes my filthy little mexican friend, so have some fucking respect and let him tell the rest of his made up fucking story that involves absolutely no Tits

He would of done that in the first place when she said come over but he didnt because he couldnt drive there, so he lied about his brother fucking up his car or someshit. Are you not paying attention faggot?

Wow. fucking faggot. Post pics, or I won't believe shit. Well actually, I believe the part about you being a faggot.

You called yourself a fag 10 times, and she called you a fag 3 times.

The reason you're not losing your virginity is because you're literally doing everything possible to put yourself in the beta fag house.

Be a dick. I know it's hard to when your only competition is a fucking TRANNY, and you're still losing, but you can't stick around smelling that same piece of shit all day. Either you pick it up, and throw it away, or you ignore it.

Tell your mexican friend to either wrap this up or finish mowing my lawn.

cant tell if op is a faggot or was just being catfished the whole time also making him a faggot

Op sounds like a fat fuck honestly

Hahahahaha

Dont even post pics of her fat tits. Just post pics of your little mexican peen, pls.

>next day
>finale day
>gets text
>"hey OP, come over or I'll kms"
>" alright....." I say
>then she says idk I'm nervous and I don't know if I actually want you to come over
>to shorten this shit up I convince her to let me over
>rides bike there
>sweaty and forgot to put deodorant
>gets there
>she's sitting infront of her house smoking
>smoke with her
>we talk, we laugh
>ask for a drink
>takes me to the basement
>gives me smal bottle of vodka
>we go to her room
>we cuddle and talk for a bit
> kisses her forehead
>" what are you doing OP?"
>"uhh kissing you ..."
>this is where I turn retarded
>"I've never kisses a girl before...."
>she laughs and she goes along with it
>we start making out
>doing horrible, zero kissing game
>I mention before to her that I was a virgin
>she keeps laughing and tells me that I was doing horrible
>takes my virgin hand
>puts it on her bare for
>instantly hard
>"Wow this is amazing...."
>she giggles
>ask her "can I go more south?"
>she gets confused like retard
>slides my hand down her pants and starts rubbing her pussy then inserts my finger
>" Wow it's wet....." I say like retarded faggot
>" I know that's what it does" she says
>starts to finger her and rub her clit
>"wow is this your clit?" I say
>I do realize I'm retarded for speaking
> she nods anyways

One more fucking reply then I'm finished faggots

ahhh. the classic "come over or i'll kms" gets em every time

at least you got dubs once in your Sup Forums career

Good god OP, you sound like the biggest fucking beta. I bet she's fat or something. Post a pic of her OP.

>claims to be a virgin
>somehow knows where her clit is.
Whatever just finish the storry so we can all call you a faggot for wasting our time when you're done.

Op confirmed fag that's just whining about not getting the poon

I'm cringing so hard right now.

Fucking porn dude, wtf

If anything op got aids, get yourself tested kid.

Ok even if that's the case this is still the most beta I've read all day.

where are the tits?

Or basic anatomy ffs

Nowhere because they don't exist.

Just keeping the thread alive.

inb4 OP says it was all a dream, he's a faggot, and jacks off to bed.

These comments are fucking hilarious

>matches with cute girl
>Eh I mean she's not perfect and a bit chubby

Make up your fucking mind faggot

Post pics of her or gtfo

If the next response isn't longer than War and Peace I'm offing myself

Is OP going to post pic of his mexican peen or what?

Pretype or tits

>says fuck it
>gets on top of her and pull off her pants and panties
>starts to finger her and lick her clit
>she tries to close her legs
>but I remember her saying that she's sub
>I keep her legs open then I just start eating her out
>sour....
>also had a funk smell to it
>not fish of course
>but whatever, don't know what vaginas suppose to taste or smell
>does this for a couple of minutes
>looks and ask her
>" where's your condom?"
>she gets a condom for me
>I can't afford for condoms because broke nigger here
>she ask " do you even know how to put it on"
>" of course I do pfft..."
>I actually bought condoms before for......edcucational purposes
>puts it on
>very awkwardly
>gets on top of her
>missionary because why not?
>tries to insert it....
>awkward as fuck
>can't seem to put it in
>because retarded nigger faggot
>shes about to help me when I finally put it in
>the greatest fucking feeling in my life
>me being scared homo, was afraid to pre ejaculate
>nah, I'm good
>starts to thrust
>she moans with a cute high pitch moan
>I moan a bit too because this is my first
>does awkward shit to make her orgasm
>pulls hair
>sucks tit
>ask to choke her
>she told me before that she's kinky
>we stop and she ask what time it is
>she says I have to leave and that her dad is about to be home
>me being gullible nig I believe her
> puts back on pants
>she escorts me out
>she hugs and kisses me goodbye
> I do the same of course
>leave very happy even though I didn't nut...

Okay I lied one more reply and I'm done

FAGGOT

Why do yòu think she told you to leave all of a sudden?

She's cute in the face but not really in the body

> OP realizes that he can't get aroused because she doesn't have a dick.
>OP goes back to his basement which reeks of vassseline and butt sex.
>OP spends the rest of his life fapping to traps and eventually gets raped by a nigger and dies
The ens

Op

Happy and didn't nut wtf never thought I'd hear those in the same sentence well maybe "I'm happy I didn't nut inside her"

She realized he was a faggot

>I actually bought condoms before for......edcucational purposes.
She either fucks her dad or her brothers user is fucking an incest whore

I'm going to fucking rage if OP doesn't post a pic of her. Probably ugly af, which is why he's competing with a Tranny.

HAHAHAHA

What about "I'm happy I didn't nut inside that gorilla"

He won't because she isn't real

There fags, that's her face

No she's real. OP told us so!

She must be short and fat af. Only short and fat girls take pictures like that and post them on Tinder/Facebook

Fuckable

>she's cute in the face
Don't lie to us faggot