Feels thread

Feels thread.

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How's everybody doing tonigh/today?

I myself am on a rush, finishing up assignments due tomorrow. I spent my weekend going down memory lane and playing the fuck out of Fallout 3.
>feels good man

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Not doing well. Not doing well at all. My depression, self-deprecation, and anxiety are at an all-time low.

I'm not exactly sad or anything. I've breached my depression and even got a girl in bed recently. I usually lurk in feels threads because like most, I feel that something is missing.

You know, user, you're a lot smarter than those around you. People are primitive in their emotions. If you do them a favor or say something nice, they'll like you. It's that simple.
But guys like us, who know what raw depression and anxiety feel like, know that life isn't ever going to be that easy.

>you will never get to play Fallout 3 for the first time ever again

i'm ending it tonight Sup Forumsros. thanks for being the only people i've ever been comfortable enough with to open up to. bye friends, you made things more bearable.

If you believe in it, see you on the other side Sup Forumsrother.

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Because we know what it's like to be constantly rejected and hated on. It's a never-ending cycle. I recently just failed at something that had I succeeded in, I would be a better state of mind for the rest of my life. But my destiny is to forever have no purpose in my miserable existence.

amen

god this is so wrong though.
2 am is for getting home from the bar with your girlfriend and heatin up leftover stew that you cooked together the night before and then getting rowdy before falling asleep.

now, no doubt i have spent my fair share of nights alone. I have felt crushed by the lonliness and I have felt suicidal. But i have strived to change things and never let the bad times convince me fully that there would never be any good times.
keep trying, faggots. we all get there if we keep trying (and also if you stop being picky faggots and start learning to enjoy the people around you instead of hoping you had some 9/10 model gf)
Protip: love and connection can make anyone into a 9/10

The thing keeping me from offing myself, Sup Forumsro, is the thought that weather I do it or not, it wouldn't really matter. Eventually, nothing will matter and this thought is a little comforting. But there was a time were I freaked out about losing all that I loved but then I came to realize that they would lose nothing if I were gone.

Existentialism is both beautiful and painful.

>tfw ever since I can remember I've just wanted to die

So kill yourself.

Hard to find someone who isn't a complete airhead now a days, you know?

see you on Sup Forums in your next life

I wish it were just that easy.

That's just it bud, IT IS!

FUCK YOU SATAN!

Sometimes life is just a lil' dark ya know?

I disagree brother.
They come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Women are often just as smart as men, they just need their intelligence coaxed out of them.

I'm honestly too much of a coward to do anything, but lately, I've been less afraid of death and what comes afterwards. I just wish I never existed in the first place. That way, I'd never be in this dilemma. I've accepted everything else, though: the fact that I'll never have a woman in life because they're all the same and I'm ugly anyway; the fact that I'll never be happy because it's not my destiny, etc. The list goes on.

One if my best friends hurt me today OP.

He said something that will probably stay with me for a few days.

He didn't have to say those things. Not all of it was true, but it's obvious he doesn't respect me anymore nor does he hold me to high values.

Funny thing is that, he's been worst to me than I could have ever been to him.

He said that I changed and I use to be a 100% happier and 100% better friend. Now I'm kind of nothing.

It's weird. Weird how life events can change a person.

This pic is supposed to be edgy, but it also has a special meaning
The thought of death is the only thing that gives each life meaning, or 'makes it brighter'

Not OP, but what did he say?

youtu.be/sql3YLe2dq0

you got that right brother

>implying that's a bad thing
Fuck fallout 3 and fuck bethesda. Originals ftw.
Goddamn ruining my sadness replacing it with motherfucking rage.

That's why I try to keep as much from whatever friends I may have. Because then they can just use anything you've told them about yourself against you when they feel that they're sick of being around you. Yet at the same time, I seem to need some validation from people and I'm passive aggressive about it. It's weird how much of a living contradiction I am.

Maybe it's not a woman you need to make you happy. Maybe it's the bonds you form with others and the lives you might touch.
You just need drive, user.
But you have to find it in yourself.

>not well
Hope you'll move on to greener pastures, user. I've been there before, truly hell and chaos in the mind.

>emotionless depression
That's the peak, user. Unless you get help, you'll just be a lifeless husk just barely trying to survive everyday.
>something's missing
That's what depression is, a constant feeling of emptiness deep down. I tried filling mine with food, vidya, drinks, porn. I don't know what happenned but yeah, it just went away after some time.

>ywn fugg Moira
why live? i bet she moans like crazy

Sounds like a hassle just to have an intellectual conversation

I tried. I truly did. I was on the road to a new start and career. It ended horribly when I fucked it all up. All the people who I met along the way will forever remember me as a fuck up.

I want you not to TRY, user. I want you to DO your best. So that even when you do fuck up again, it was the best you could do. Trying and not succeeding in life will get you nowhere. You have to do your best and own your failures. Because once you've failed and you were doing your best, you could get back up and do even better. I believe in you, user. Even though I've never met you, I'll be rooting for you.

Well, I did my best. And I still fucked it up. I have some motivation to try again, but I'm still pissed at myself that even if I do get a second chance (which I most likely won't), I didn't make it the first time around when I should've.

Those of us lucky enough to get second chances often fuck it up regardless. History always repeats itself either way. Best to not dwell on the past and seek a better future for yourself.

The other night a housemate of mine who i have a massive crush on crashed next to me to help me get to sleep because i had not been able to sleep for 7 nights
During the night i felt her up whilst i was asleep when i realised what i was doing i stopped and began telling myself that I was a horrible person and I should kill myself then i grabed her breast (i dont know why) turns out she was awake for this and later tried to talk to me about it I stupidly avoided her for 3 days and now that I finally spoken to her she hates me and never wants to see or hear from me again after we talked i punched a wall a bunch took 22 pain killers and drank 7 bottles of whisky and coke hoping it would shut down my liver and went for a walk
Now its the next day and i hate myself even more because i realise that ive destroyed the most important friendship ive ever had
After being in government care since the age of 4 or 5 (now 21) i have never gotten along with or been as comfortable or been able to open up to anyone else like i did with her and all i can think is i should kill myself because im a horrible person and ill never find someone like her again

We were talking about Game of Thrones' most recent episode and some how he brought that I changed a lot. I asked in a not serious way on how.

He said ever since I started hanging out with a certain female friend, she destroyed me at my core and turned me into the shell of a person I am today.

>(He didn't say it like that for say, but it's easier to explain.

Now this girl has been the biggest influential individual in my entire life. It's been 30 good and 70 evil. But if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have gained the confidence or the strength from the shit I suffered from. Like being face to face with a bear. Or getting stranded in Alaska and had to fake getting married to get home

I guess prior to her. I use to be a very happy go lucky person who was unstoppable. I always had a smile on and never allowed anything stand in my way. I had/have dreams that I was gonna accomplish and become a badass.

I use to put friends first before my safety and sanity. I was one of those individuals who was very charismatic and could be friends with anyone.

The kind who would buy you a beer and ask you what was your childhood like. You get the picture.

So he said today without explaining anything that I'm just not happy nor am I as good of a person.

I asked how and he said she destroyed my heart and soul then left me to dry. So I've become distant and I'm just not there anymore.

I asked one last time what does he mean and he said that's just it. Take it at face value because it is what it is.

So I just said I'm gonna bounce and was hurt by it.

You know I'm all for being forward. That's what I want. But when you make claims to something just to hurt someone, it's not cool.

Considering that I was the one that helped showed him the importance of friendship back 10 years ago when he didn't have friends and was a total shut in.

He texted me he was sorry, but I told him I want to continue this discussion someday.

Thanks for letting me vent man.

A better future for me is to move far away to an isolated area and LDAR.

What is that scene from?

The picture? Not sure. I just like it cause it hits home. I relate to it in many ways.

If it's from something, I'd love to know what it's from.

If I may ask, where are you at in existing that you're actually going to end it?

>You know I'm all for being forward. That's what I want. But when you make claims to something just to hurt someone, it's not cool.

You have to understand, he did not say this to hurt you or be mean. He is concerned about you, his friend is no longer the person he knew and he's worried, but because he's a dude and dudes can't talk about feelings and shit he isn't able to talk to you about it like he wants to.

This happened few days ago, my crush stayed at my home till 4am, she took my hand and I almost cry. We held hands for 5h straight and we talked a lot. I I've never felt warm in my heart till that day.

I'd probably get hurt anytime in the future, but I won't regret it.

Bump

Thanks for getting back to me bruh
>because he's a dude and dudes can't talk about feelings and shit he isn't able to talk to you about it like he wants to.

Well yes and no. I'm considered to be a sensitive guy who wears his heart on my sleeve (at least from what I'm told). But I'm also a stubborn and strong willed mofo.

And he's right though. I have changed, but me being a worst friend is just insane.

I asked my grandma and she said during that time I hungout with her, I was always angry and defensive. I stopped being happy go lucky and was always a thing or two from being pissed off.

I called one of my old college professors who's been a great influence to me and my field, and he said a lot of things that helped.

He just said I've matured and become more cautious. Sure I'm not diving head first anymore. But he also said he noticed me change when my first company that I started was going under.

The stress and loss and failure took a toll on my spirit. And sometimes, it's hard to put a smile on.

He helped out a lot.

Believe it or not user, I've lived quite a crazy life, and for the most part, I'm not even half way done with my journeys and adventures. I'm trying to get my shit back together (life wise, not friend wise)

Everything has stopped right now because I'm semi crippled due to a car accident, but I'll bounce back soon. And once I've healed. I'll probably go on a cross country trip on a motorcycle.

What about you? How are you doing?

>when you can't relate to anyone but when someone makes a statement you agree with you automatically think they are making a mockery of you

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I feel shitty. Basically I had to move away from home and leave all my friends and they were the only people who could make me happy and I felt like I owed them something because of it. Now I just feel empty as I have no one who I like to talk to. Every night sinse I left them (about 2 weeks ago) I look at the roof for hours feeling empty before falling asleep and to top it all off none of the fuckers have made a adempt to contact me so now I just feel betrayed.