What's up with Stephen Segal?

What's up with Stephen Segal?

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reddit.com/r/movies/comments/4y31gv/hi_im_actor_stephen_lang_i_play_the_blind_man_in/
youtube.com/watch?v=TB1RvU8UR38
youtube.com/watch?v=MiajBF0Mygw
stevenseagal.com/
youtube.com/watch?v=qUaesUh-M3Q#t=27
youtube.com/watch?v=i_-MXLG_i-c
twitter.com/AnonBabble

He's just taking it EAZY

EAZY

Yeah, I don't know why he likes to hangout in dictatorial shitholes.

Same with Gerard Depardieu. They're both fucked in the head.

EEEEEEEEH WHAT HAPPENED DOC

I laughed.

>Yeah, I don't know why he likes to hangout in dictatorial shitholes.

Stupid plus desperate enough. They are just paraded through the country as a legitimizing factor for the regimes.

Also, double handed carrot eating. Hes really into it.

It's obvious he's at least a little autistic.

Even the way he eats his fucking carrot is both autistic and smug.

reddit.com/r/movies/comments/4y31gv/hi_im_actor_stephen_lang_i_play_the_blind_man_in/

>Are you friends with Steven Seagal?

>We did two films together. I haven't seen him in a long time. When I worked with him I was kind of both horrified an amused by him, and slightly wary of him. And... protective of him, if that makes any sense. He's an exotic, you know? Like some exotic creature that bore resemblance to humanity as we know it, but slightly divorced from it. He's sort of like Trump, you know? They sort of mold reality to the way they determine the way they think it should be and aren't inhibited by things like... facts. In a way I'm fond of Seagal, I know there are people who despise him and I understand that. You have to find a way to cooperate, to collaborate, and we did.

>In some ways I think he wanted to treat me like a pet monkey though. I instituted a six-foot rule. I said that him, I wouldn't let him within six feet of me. I never knew if he was going to try to hug me or try to kick me in the balls.

Also

youtube.com/watch?v=TB1RvU8UR38

songs from the crystal cove fucked him up

T-THAT WABBIT D-DOOK 'ER

>ywn operate with Steven

He's a master of the tactical waddle.
He can also hold a weapon with any of hands with equal effectiveness.

He moves like a 300lbs American walrus.

HE WILL PLAY THE SONG OF HIS PEOPLE

I like him.

>dictatorial shitholes.
American retard detected. To the rest of the world they're "countries who aren't US colonies yet".

>rest of the world
>Venezuela, Russia and... North Korea?
>rest of the world

...

Violence. Brutal violence.

Lukashenko isn't a dictator?

>He can also hold a weapon with any of hands with equal effectiveness.

Truly a master of modern combat

>that obvious wig
>that obvious dyed hair

>Segal is a big guy
subtle

His career is kill.

4 U

If the guy decided to peek while he was doing his gay switch (with a weapon you don't even shoulder - what's the fucking point?) he would have been fucking rekt

No more or less than any American president.

The only reason why you people think he is is because, unlike most leaders of independent countries who have been removed and replaced with US puppets, he managed to suppress the CIA-funded "colored revolution".

Does he direct these movies or something? How could they not have a SINGLE consultant on the set that knows anything about how to handle guns and shit to tell him that he looks absolutely ridiculous?

found the vatnik

you drank too much of the socialist kool-aid

Or maybe it's everyone else who is wrong

Are you people actually unfamiliar of how they got rid of pretty much everyone who didn't want to participate in their oil bullshit from the late 90s onward? It's not outright assassinations anymore, they just organize protests through Soros NGOs and shit.

This is some kind of advance CQC

Seagal is to action movies what Chief jack is to cuisine.

Lol holy fuck Steven Segal Confirmed one of us
one
f

us
s

His technique has transcended what mere mortals can achieve

>unfamiliar of
*with

kek

and interventionalist U.S. policy has exactly what to do with Lukashenko being a dictator? When was the last fair election in Belarus, again?

When was the last fair election in the US? Any of the EU governing bodies? Saudi Arabia, your greatest ally and home of the Chair of the United Nations Human Rights Council panel?

Protip: elections aren't fair.

Yes, because American elections are only ever won with ~80% of the vote by the same person for 22 years straight.

Exactly the same situation.

Whataboutism. Try harder, vatnik.

Well, I'm just wondering, why didn't you invade Saudi Arabia yet?

What makes you think I'm an American? What makes you think I have any authority on who the country invades? What makes you think that I support U.S. foreign policy?

None of this changes the fact that Lukashenko is a Kremlin-backed dictator.

And, before you go off on another tired rant about Saudi Arabia, I'm fully aware it's a U.S. backed dictatorship. That's not the issue that you initially started arguing about, though.

Tu quoque. Look it up. Peace.

>>And, before you go off on another tired rant about Saudi Arabia, I'm fully aware it's a U.S. backed dictatorship.
Well, there you go.

And I initially just said that things work like that in the entire world and gave examples. When a dictator is friendly to the US he's presented as a democratically elected ruler (see: Milosevic before the US wanted Kosovo, when he was presented as the savior of the Balkans despite waging war in three ex-Yu countries, then he suddenly turned into a bloodthirsty monster that needs to be bombed into oblivion when they realized that they need an army base and the natural resources of the Trepca mine).

Given the ridiculous amounts of power rulers have in modern day and how they use propaganda and force against their own people and other countries, I wouldn't hesitate to call all of them dictators. The only difference is whether they're sovereign dictators, or colonial governors, so to speak.

>Steven Segal's pro skater 2

Nothing he's literally perfect.

holy fuck that file name

How does he do it?

Actually, what you said was

>The only reason why you people think he [Lukashenko] is [a dictator] because, unlike most leaders of independent countries who have been removed and replaced with US puppets, he managed to suppress the CIA-funded "colored revolution".

There are many other reasons to think that Lukashenko is a dictator. And the false equivalency you're spouting is hilarious.

вaтoй зaвoнялo

His latest cinema. Notice how he leans against the wall when he's walking the stairs

youtube.com/watch?v=MiajBF0Mygw

>please dont make me do this

>There are many other reasons to think that Lukashenko is a dictator.
But that's literally the only one why the general American public thinks that.

I don't really know Russian Cyrillic that well, vato? zabon??o, what is that?

Seagal seems to be a complete Slav now.

Has he abandoned his Japanese-Mongolian-Native-American-Italian roots?

Imagine being her in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Stevie Seagal, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your fat doughy body and that old bloated seal face. I would totally have sex with you, both my character and the real me." when all she really wants to do is another porn shoot with Chad. Like seriously imagine having to be her and not only twirl that fucking dress around while Steven Seagal tries his best to get an erection in front of you, the XXXL shirt barely concealing his planet-sized belly and droopy man tits, and just stand there, take after take, hour after hour, while he perfected that look. Not only having to tolerate his monstrous fucking visage but his haughty attitude as everyone on set tells him he's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, STEVEN SEAGAL LOOKS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to stand there and watch his obese fucking marshmallow face try contort into any type of emotion besides complete disinterest. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of low-rent producers and bargain-bin directors and later life-sentenced pimps your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the crackhouse from your 20's. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on his balding fucking hairline as he sucks it in to squint suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to stand there and revel in his "holy (for that is what he calls himself)" beauty, the beauty he worked so hard for with his donuts in the previous months. And then the director calls for another take, and you know you could just end your life right there before the studio security could stop you, but you sit there and endure, because you can't act and your career is going nowhere. You're not going to lose that next bag of coke over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

someone please post the dancing webm

...

he prefire a lot he must have some cheats on

It's honestly shocking to see him move that fast

sweet moves

Somebody please post that orange Reddit AMA compilation pic.

But none of it is coordinated or even looks good, he's just flailing like an idiot.

He uses the *teleports behind you* cheat often

Can you be an autistic fuck and still be incredibly successful if you have unshakable confidence?

Yes. Seagal is a living proof of this.

Made me kek out loud. Thanks user.

>almost 15 rounds

Wouldn't say Seagal is "incredibly" successful. I think it's hard to be autistic and acting in dramas for example, since you need at least some understanding of emotions. Directing, though? Writing? Sure.

>I never knew if he was going to try to hug me or try to kick me in the balls.

...

>it's a nobody cares what steven does in the movie because it's all a money laundering front anyway episode

Oh how the mighty have fallen

Steven sees the world in very differently way behind those glasses

kek

Now THAT is a face of a man who's seen some shit!

Some guys went to Vietnam. Steven went to Japan and started a dojo. The Yakuza didnt take it very kindly and Seagal was forced to fight for his life.

He went to Japan as young man and came back as killing machine.

and then he went to russia

I recall visiting his official page in late 90's.There was the usual stuff you would expect on actors webpage. Some shilling on upcoming movies and whatever energy drink he was selling. There was also spirituality section... that was just a black screen. Nothing. Totally fucking zen.... or bit of buggy code.

>Dude with the glasses
Still would not fuck with him

his current website looks pretty nice

stevenseagal.com/

It was all confirmed fake tho.

He messed up the dates in his bs bio

>implying seagal isn't a confirmed CIA experiment half-man half cyborg yakuza ex-KGB red laces neo-nazi grand wizard god warrior

He was always a fairy.

his pants are too tight

Youdungeddabrinfrans

a very big guy.

youtube.com/watch?v=qUaesUh-M3Q#t=27

eric clapton can't even compete

He must be swimming in groupie punani when he tours

Ayy it's my country's leader

What the fuck is he doing?
Why is he so fat?
Who fuck produce such abominations?

>Segal's 2 step seduction process
>Sit in chair
>Unzip dick

What's inside his dick once he's unzipped it?

It's dick all the way down
>use protection they said

A small version of him operating

"I was raised in Japan. I was schooled in martial arts. I was given the title of master. They take a movie “The Last Samurai.” They have a 5-foot-2-inch little guy, whether he was straight or gay, I don’t know. I don’t care. He had never been to Japan. He doesn’t speak Japanese. He has never held a sword. They make him the Last Samurai. We got 450,000 phone calls [laughs] from everybody in the world saying, “That role was perfect for you. How did that happen?” Most of the people I know didn’t like the film and didn’t go see it. It’s just a classic example of Hollywood and the politics."

> They have a 5-foot-2-inch little guy, whether he was straight or gay, I don’t know. I don’t care.

>tfw tom is taller than you

Is she ded?

>Steven Seagal
>moves to Japan at 19
>attains 7th dan degree and Shihan in akido
>attains black belt in karate
>attains black belt in judo
>attains black belt in kendo
>becomes the head of the Take Sensei organization in Jūsō, Osaka
>teaches deputies in Pouisiana martial arts, unarmed combat, and marksmanship
>Sheriff begs him to join the force
>he joins
>gets kicked off the force for a sexual trafficking lawsuit (which got dropped)
>joins Russian firearms manufacturer ORSIS
>personally develops the ORSIS rifle for them
>Buddhist Lama declares Seagal to be the reincarnation of Chungdrag Dorje, a 17th century treasure hunter
>begins training the Serbian Special Forces in Akido
>good friends with Vladimir Putin
>supports the annexation of Crimea
>plays the guitar

Seagal has achieved meme status, but the guy is legit.

>ywn have such an interesting life

youtube.com/watch?v=i_-MXLG_i-c

Then left his japanese waifu