At the cinema

>at the cinema
>order popcorn
>go to shake the cashiers hand as he gives me the bucket
>he doesn't shake
>walk off feeling awkward as fuck

Anyone else have this experience?

>bow to the ticket-ripper
>he doesn't bow back

Fucking inconsiderate kids they hire these days. The cinema is a holy place where people go to experience kino.

>ordering popcorn with your kino

I wouldn't have shaken your hand either tbqh

>go to the kinosphere arcade
>fumble around with my quarters
>spill everywhere
>worker points to sign thay reads kids and couples only
>immediately arrested
>put on sex offender registry

>work with food and find hygiene important
>greasy neckbeard wants to shake my hand for some reason even though we never met
>just a legal transaction, not a drug deal but he still wants it
>my hands are full holding his chicken food anyway

>at the cinema
>guy orders popcorn
>tries to shake my hand as I give him the bucket
>don't shake because it's inappropriate
>stand there feeling embarrassed for him

Anyone else have this experience?

>all these faggots ordering popcorn
Crab legs are the true kino food

>tell an acquaintance that I went to see a film in the cinema
>he asks me who I went with
>say I went on my own
>he looks at me in shock

I thought you guys were joking, but people really do find it weird when people go to the cinema alone. I think it's weirder to meet up with your friends and sit in silence in a dark room for 2 hours, but I guess that's just me.

>enjoy the film!
>thanks, you too

You obviously didn't tip him enough.

>the falcon coordinator didn't kowtow

>not ordering the family size spicy cajun bucket with extra butter on the side for the absolute kino experience

It's like you don't even want to enjoy your movie.

Cashiers only shake hands if you are a couple, it's part of the "no singles" policy where they try to keep you from going to the cinema any way they can.

They most likely gave you a lot of unpopped kernels too right?

>he watches kino at the cinema, and not in his private kino pod

>check into the cinema
>cinema usher lost my luggage
>spend 15min at lost and found and fill in a complaint form
>miss all the adverts and coming attractions
>Had to wear a t-shirt from the cinema gift shop for the entire movie

>checking his luggage
>not carrying on your anvil and other theater nessecities
Silly child.

>local cinema expect you to marathon a whole movie without pausing

are you autistic?

Ughh really??
My Cinema lets me reserve for a movie so i can watch it spread out over the week with 10-20 minute screenings each day. I can't concetrate for longer than 30 minutes while watching concentated, state-of-the-art Kino.

That's fucking neat man.

>kneel to the usher
>he gives you a weird look and tells you to enjoy the movie in a nervous voice

Real story

>work at theatre in college
>autist comes almost everyday, forcing conversation with anyone who works there
>one day he proposes to hambeast black gf in concession line while playing Huey Lewis and the News on his phone
>"okay"
>busy as fuck
>cashier girl awkwardly claps
>"congratulations! did you want to make your popcorn a large for an extra dollar?"
>"sure"
>they go watch Mortal Instruments

It was a real beautiful moment

>getting my hair trimmed
>cinema barber starts talking to you

there were girls there snickering behind my back

>not smoking a bowl parked in the parking lot before the movie
>not cracking wise during the pre previews and saying purposefully retarded answers to the "games" they play
>not going to a greasy fast food place afterwards and talking about the movie being generally jaded but still trying to remember the good parts to justify the money spent
>not smoking again before heading home
Have had one movie buddy for about two years now and we go one or two times a month. Going alone isn't weird I don't think, but having someone to shoot the shit with afterwards is always preferred

>be standing in cinema's store's check out line
>film about to start
>almost my turn
>drop bagged milk onto the floor
>it breaks
>milk everywhere
>store owner sends me to the back of the line as punishment
>missed the commercials at the start

I enjoy these threads far too much.

>One hot dinner comin' right up, that'll be $12.
What do?

>Put on the seat harness
>The weevils escape into my cloak

Haven't been back since

>Enjoy that popcorn!
>Thanks you too!

>couldn't hear a piece of dialogue
>i didn't grab the free screenplay at the door

>always go up to the projectionist to wish him good luck with the kino
>door is always locked nowadays

You have to tip the projectionist my dude, I even bring him half of a tuna sandwich for the effort.

>giving a sandwich or money to a computer

Pay the fine gentleman and enjoy my meal watching the movie

>at the cinema
>order popcorn
>cashier goes for a fist bump
>fist bump them
>they drop my change on the counter
>walk to dark theater

We do it for you.

>order popcorn

End yourself.

>go to the cinema
>want to see pic related
>'one ticket for....that movie please'

cashier told me nobody tried to pronounce the title right. was a pretty good film too

>be me
>be avid cinema goer
>lately I've started reading the book afterwards to see how the film compares to the book
>be doing this for half year
>then it struck me
>why don't I compare the book to the film as it is showing
>head to the cinema library and borrow the book
>buy a headlamp from the cinema store
>the cinema room dims down and my hand rubbing can be heard throughout the room
>flick on the lamp and start reading
>think to myself how genius I am and why haven't I done this earlier
>get interrupted by cinema usher telling me to come with him
>follow him to the cinema court room
>judge tells me I'm being tried for disturbing the other cinema goers with my light
>explain to the jury my reason for having the lamp on
>judge sentences me to two months in the cinema jail

why is it always the enthusiasts that get punished

>at the cinema
>order popcorn
>go to shake the cashiers hand as he gives me the bucket
>he leans in to shake my hand and suddenly freezes
>sees how brown my long fingernails are
>looks to my face and sees how pale I am and realizes they're not brown from going outside
>jerks his hand back like he got shocked
>my hand just hanging there, the faint waft of shit from my fingernails slowly settling in over the counter

>waiting in line behind some fat fuck at the cinema
>cashier hands him the bucket of popcorn he ordered
>the fat fuck holds his hand out to the cashier like a retard
>a good 30 seconds go by and this fat fuck is still holding his hand out and I can see the other cashiers giggling
>fat fuck finally turns around bright red and power walks down the hallway with his head down
>laugh as I order my chicken wings

>tfw never know what kind of hand shake to go in for
Half the time I go in for a normal hand shake and the other person tries to the slap followed by a fist bump thing or vice versa. I hate being autistic.

>try to shake hands
>he leans in to touch dicks instead

It's hard to guess right.

>at the cinema
>order crab legs
>go to shake the cashiers hand as he gives me the bucke
>he is holding a live crab
>get nipped
>walk off feeling awkward as fuck

>make it through buying my tickets without humiliating myself
>go to buy a popcorn
>girl behind the counter smiles encouragingly
>manage to get my order out without mumbling or saying anything retarded
>girl gives me an approving nod and hands me the popcorn
>"here you go, hon"
>"thanks mom"
>everyone laughs and she sneers in disgust
>i leave the popcorn and run out of the cinema crying

>Ticket person checks ticket
>"Enjoy your movie"
>Y-you too

>genuflect for penis inspection
>inspector shoves his cock in my mouth and starts face fucking me
>gagging and tearing up as snot and drool pours out of my face
>everyone laughs at me

what did I do wrong?

>anvil
2016 failed meme general?

this is the second reason why I use oven mitts. the first one because the cashier handed me a scalding hot bucket once without warning me

Fuck that looks good. Hopefully there's some taters down in the broth there

Dumb frogposter.